Thursday, February 25, 2016

Good job, Governor.

Governor Phil Bryant proclaimed April to be Confederate History month.  The proclamation is posted below although it is not posted on the Governor's website. 





Kingfish note: Yes, the title of the post was written in a moment of sarcasm.

69 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you Governor.

Anonymous said...

I am sixty years old and lived through that crap. I shit on phil's face. a pox on him.

Anonymous said...

I thought this was a joke when I first read about it. Much to my dismay, I found out it was true. It's one thing to remember the grimmest portion of your history, but it's quite another to celebrate it, I.e, dedicating a month to it. Can you imagine if Germany had a WWII month, or even a Great War month? Please, someone make this stop, and let MS get over this without being the laughingstock of the nation - again. Phil Bryant's "heritage" (of hate) should not be State-sponsored.

Anonymous said...

I support it. Thank You Governor

Anonymous said...

Is that the same day as Nazi Heritage day in Germany? What, they don't have that?

Anonymous said...

IF Donna Ladd & the Jxn Free Press are Against it, well I have to be FOR IT!

Anonymous said...

@6:30PM...You don't like "Diversity"?? And you learned the history of the War for Southern Independence by watching a lot of TV?

Anonymous said...

Just when you think Feel couldn't possibly be any worse, he surprises you. And during Black History Month no less. I'm sure all manner of businesses would see this and say MS sure is the place to come to. Wonder why he wasn't proud enough to put it on his website? Good Lord, we deserve the stereotypical reputation we have.

Anonymous said...

Jeebus Phildo.

What's next?

A proclamation that the week of March 17 shall celebrate the Carrol County Courthouse Massacre?

Anonymous said...

Is this the first year that this has occurred or has this gone on before?

Anonymous said...

"Whereas April is the month in which the Confederate States began and ended a four-year struggle"

Hey Phil-most competent historians tend to agree that the Civil War (funny how I don't see the words Civil War in your proclamation) was ended by General Robert E. Lee surrendering (funny how I don't see the word surrender in your proclamation) to Lieutenant General U. S. Grant, Commanding General of the Armies of United States ("ended" just seems so passive and incomplete.)

In the interests of getting all the facts out:

The official surrender document of Lee's troops to the Union Army, signed at the Appomattox Court House on April 9, 1865:

We, the undersigned Prisoners of War, belonging to the Army of Northern Virginia, having been this day surrendered by General Robert E. Lee, CSA, Commanding said Army, to Lieut. Genl. U. S. Grant, Commanding Armies of United States, do hereby give our solemn parole of honor that we will not hereafter serve in the armies of the Confederate States, or in any military capacity whatever, against the United States of America, or render said to the enemies of the latter, until property exchanged, in such manner as shall be mutually approved by the respective authorities.

Done at Appomattox Court House, Va., this 9th day of April, 1865.


The reason for the surrender was explained by Lee:



Hd Qurs Army Northern Virginia 10th April 1865

General Order No 9

After four years of arduous service, marked by unsurpassed courage and fortitude, the Army of Northern Virginia has been compelled to yield to overwhelming numbers and resources.

I need not tell the brave survivors of so many hard fought battles who have remained steadfast to the last, that I have consented to this result from no distrust of them, But feeling that valor and devotion could accomplish nothing that could compensate for the loss that would have attended the continuance of the contest, I determined to avoid the useless sacrifice of those whose past services have endeared them to their countrymen.

By the terms of the agreement, Officers and men can return to their homes and remain until exchanged. You will take with you the satisfaction that proceeds from the consciousness of duty faithfully performed and I earnestly pray that a merciful God will extend to you His blessing and protection.

With an unceasing admiration of your constancy and devotion to your country, and a grateful remembrance of your kind and generous consideration of myself, I bid you all an affectionate farewell.

R E Lee Genl




Anonymous said...

@6:57. Would you prefer he wait until "White History" month???....err...wait...why don't we have a White History month??

Anonymous said...

REDNECKS

Anonymous said...


#ElectionsMATTER

#ElectionsHaveCONSEQUENCES

#RedistrictingMATTERS

#ENJOYthePoliticalWILDERNESS

Heddy-Dale Matthias, MD said...

Thanks, Phil, for continuing to promulgate the Mississippi stereotype of being the retarded backwater of the U.S.

Anonymous said...

Is Josh Gregory going to do a commercial for the Confederate Soldiers of America?

Anonymous said...

Thank you Governor Bryant for recognizing our Southern heritage. If "they" can have a black history month, we can certainly have an official recognition of our Confederate ancestors who fought and died to preserve our Southern nation. To those who do not like it, feel free to move somewhere else. Maybe Detroit or Chicago would suit you better and we would certainly not miss you.

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with confederate history month? As long as the klan doesn't high jack it we should be a okay.

You're in the south. Blood soaked lands and all. There is a lot of great and horrible history on these grounds that we can all learn from.

Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

Anonymous said...

What the actual fuck, Phil. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

FIFTY, 5 0........

Anonymous said...

Phil Byrant is an F_ing idiot. What's the point of this other than to stir the race card and distract all the rednecks in the State for the real problems facing us. What has Phil done for the State. At best we are stagnet under is leadership. I'm a conservative but I am sick and tired of seeing crap like this from the leadership. I'm ready for a conservative to step up and lead us to the future not live in the past.

Anonymous said...

Want a fool. On the list of terrible things Phil has done, this takes the cake. He's not pandering in his last term. He's demonstrating what a bigot he is.

Anonymous said...

Next Septrember will be Japanese Internment Camp Month...also known as "gook in a box" month.

Anonymous said...

@6:30 - I read it a couple of times but I don't see where the word "celebrate" is used. Isn't it a just a little simplistic to think that the only way we can acknowledge the event as being one of great significance is with a "PAR-TAY!" ?

Anonymous said...

Come on man....

The Governor Gets It said...

What offends ME is people like the doctor with the hyphenated name and credentials at the end of her signature who think opinions that reflect her thoughts are the only ones that matter.

You people won't be satisfied until the governor changes the names of all the state buildings to names that pander to the reparations crowd.

The proclamation is simply a recognition, not a celebration. Not all of us are in favor of pretending the Confederacy never existed and its reasons for existing were irrelevant.

Anonymous said...

So telling how some here are acting like "Confederate Heritage" is the same as "Southern Heritage." It's not.

Bryant could celebrate the South & its culture & history.

He prefers to rejoice in its slavery & treason.

Mistakes were made, he says? Which ones? Pemberton getting trapped in Vicksburg? Lee ignoring Longstreet at Gettysburg?

Anonymous said...

Southern heritage includes black Mississippi. Confederate heritage excludes it. Which I guess is the goal for the Guv.

Anonymous said...

I believe that people of the great state of Mississippi should take time to study The War Between the States. Mississippi lost sons and daughters both black and white during that time in our states history. The Union Army showed very little quarter to the residents of this great state as they burned her lands and pillaged her citizens both black and white. I think we need to study the people whose farms burned, live stock stolen, who never even owned a slave. This month is about the men and women who stood up to an invading army, who lost everything fighting for the cause that they believed in, states rights.

Anonymous said...

Plan for the following on the steps of the Gov's Mansion during high tea:

1) Reenactment of lynchings which were all the rage;

2) Reenactment of Emitt Till's death;

3) Continental Tire executives being shown what slavery was like when they visit;

4) More extreme negative press for our state all because Phil had a terrible idea

Anonymous said...

"preserve our Southern nation". Sorry to tell you 9:59, but there never was a Southern nation except during the southern rebellion. That didn't work out too well did it? Confederate History Month, just like Black History Month should be dropped with a loud thud into the dustbin of history.

Anonymous said...

8:05 is spot on! American by birth, Mississippian by the grace of God!

Anonymous said...

I wondered how many of those defending Phil actually had ancestors who fought with the Army of Northern Virginia or whose ancestors were even in the South at all?
Mine were and one was taken to Point Lookout which made Andersonville look like a resort. Of 8 sons of my great,great,great grandparents, only 2 ( one from each side of the family) survived. And, they had siblings who had no sons left to carry the family name.
That said, I am now an American first. Those of my ancestors who survived the Civil War were wrong. They were on the wrong side of history. " States Rights" was a disaster for the South, it didn't work. We continued, particularly in the Deep South with Jim Crow to fail as " states" by any measure you want to use. The " states" of the Confederacy and and their generals could not cooperate or coordinate for battle or to create a functional economy.
How can any of you claim to be students of the Civil War and not know that the losses suffered were often because some yahoo was following his own notions and not cooperating with an overall strategy?
For God sakes people, stop living in the past and face the realities of the present!


Not smart, Governor said...

Holy hell, the optics are awful on this one!

Reasonable people know that there is more to the history of the South than the caricature of Massa on the plantation whipping slaves and attending Klan rallies, despite the image those in the ivory towers of New York and LA would love to promulgate. However, this is a time of high sensitivity across the nation and most people do not take the time to fully explore the issues with an objective mind, opting rather to knee jerk based upon a preconceived and largely false notion.

We, as Mississippians who realize the deep value of respect for our heritage, can stand defiantly against the larger crowd and shake our fist, but that accomplishes little aside from a visceral thrill. We are part of a nation and it behooves us as a state and a people to properly address the loud (albeit ignorant and uninformed) voice of those who would marginalize us based upon our esteem toward that from whence we came.

As chief executive, Bryant HAS to realize this and MUST handle the mood of the times better than this. Doing it this way plays directly into the hands of the smear merchants who profit by misrepresenting those Mississippians who wish to show reverence toward the past while paying deference to progress and modern sensibilities. Doing this will fuel the fire to eradicate any symbol of a significant time in the state's past.

A few days ago there was an incredibly irresponsible editorial in the CL (that made its way to USA Today) where Sam Hall took a drawing of a pickaninny-style black man with chicken and chitlins that was submitted in the "draw a new flag" contest and used it as "evidence" that the state of Mississippi is nothing but a bunch of racist rednecks. By doing so (taking a single incident and using it to blanket smear a large segment of the population) he was engaging in EXACTLY the type of behavior he decries, but is apparently too ignorant or too unconcerned to realize that. He got away with it because it fed right into the "Mississippi is a bunch of racists" narrative.

By proudly proclaiming Confederate Heritage Month, Phil is throwing gasoline on the fire that the caricaturists like Hall are building to press their unfair stereotypes, in an execrable "ends justify the means" bit of scorched earth. Once they get their new flag, they'll claim self-righteous victory and walk away while the image of this state, which is quite battered, takes another round of blows.

Bryant HAS to do better than this. (and spare me the lame "Feeeel" commentary. I'm not writing this to support your lame bullsh*t)

Anonymous said...

fuck me running, what the hell was discussed in that room when this idea was born? perhaps I don't want to know if this was the most polished version of it.

What say you, Clay Chandler? Are you seriously going to stick around and defend this?

Anonymous said...

For God sakes 8:46 AM, stop it with the daily lectures.

Anonymous said...

this is sad for Mississippi. Feel and Josh Gregory are trying to keep this state in the 1960's just to satisfy a few political cronies.

Anonymous said...

Phil is simply following suit. At least 2 governors in the past, including Ronnie Musgrove, did the same thing. Why not criticize them as well.

DaveyB said...

Po' DonnerKay. People aren't returning her calls.

Anonymous said...

The comments above are what happens when the majority of the population has received government issued educations. Heaven forbid you fools read a history book that was written during the time period, and not whitewashed.

And for the record, the Army of Northern Virginia surrendered. Not the Confederate Government. Legally speaking, the northern invaders have a relationship with the Confederate Government much like their relationship with North Korea.

Thank you Phil, for representing our State. We love you.

Anonymous said...

Every thread on this has at least one like 9:45 -- i.e., the racist equivalent of Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.

For Racist Comic Book Guy, the explicit secession declarations --stating that slavery was indispensable, essential, and the proximate cause of the war-- never happened. By his logic, the fact that Hitler never formally conferred the title of Fuhrer on Donitz means World War II never ended and the Third Reich still exists.

Racist Comic Book Guy is Phil Bryant's core constituency.

Anonymous said...

"I love Mississippi! I love her people! Our customs. I love and I respect our heritage." Yet MISSISSIPPI is a welfare state that gets 3 dollars in return for every 1 dollar it sends to Washington. Dummies shall not be rewarded.

Anonymous said...

Break out the RCs and Moonpies. Its time to celebrate!

Anonymous said...

My bad, I meant to proclaim Continental Tire Month. I am immediately sending a new proclamation to the CEO of Continental. I hope no one in their PR department blew their brains out when they saw my typo. But if they did, I hope it was an American made gun.

Phil

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Mis'sippi, Continental Tire! Next week, we's re-enactin' a lynching! Uuuuuhh ... purely for historical research purposes. Yeah, that's the ticket. Just we so we can think real deep like about the effects of lynchings.

Not 'cause we're ... uhh ... still into lynching people or anything. Definitely not that.

Anonymous said...

Newsflash: our governor makes this declaration every year. So does Texas, Alabama, Florida, Louisiana, Virginia, and Georgia. They have been doing this for decades. Republican and Democrat governors. If you are suddenly enraged by this, you are ignorant to facts and gullible to the press' attempt to instigate fighting among the people of Mississippi. You can find Musgroves' identical declaration from 2000. No one seemed to care then.

Anonymous said...

For the record, there are a lot of people that are so tired of crime that they have entertained the idea of " scared straight" by public executions French Revolution style. Guillotine- whatever drives the point home. Most would never act on those thoughts. They're just desperate. That line of thinking does not know racial lines. Resorting to violence is inherently human, but thankfully we have laws in place for that. Im so glad that average citizens have been empowered to at least have a chance to defend themselves if they fall into a rotten situation.

However, this is a bunch of hysterics. I'm a libertarian/ liberal(ish) and I entertain all views. Do you want to know what 'outsiders' don't like about Mississippi? They don't like people who pretend to be something they're not. If children ( under 18) are learning basic humanities courses and world history, then why shouldn't they be allowed to at least discover their own local history? There is a way to go about this with grace and respect. I get it, you don't want to remember it, and heaven forbid the negative press.

My ancestors that hail from this state owned slaves ( all families). I think that the flag should be changed purely for the optics. It won't make anything better or worse. But, southerners are usually warm and inviting by nature and if that premise holds true, then that flag does not represent who we are as a collective. But then again, I don't know what emblem would properly represent the true kind nature of Mississippians.

God Bless

Anonymous said...

"You can find Musgroves' identical declaration from 2000. No one seemed to care then."

Your logic that what was good 15 (or can we just go ahead and say 50) years ago, should be fine now, is ridiculous. Besides, I'm sure some cared - just not your kind.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely, it's been done before. And elsewhere. And sure, the hysterics are a bit much. But there's a simple remedy to that:

Stop.

Just stop being racist. Even if people put up with a little racism last year. Even if people in other states still put up with some racism.

Just stop being racist, Phil.

Anonymous said...


I have no problem with a politician giving liberal whites the finger.

Matter of fact, I like it.

If those of you looking for a "safe space" don't like it, fuck you.

Anonymous said...

3:55 -- Safe space? We just don't want the government we pay for actively sanctioning racist bullshit. You individually can feel free to stand on a street corner and extol the virtues of the confederacy and Jim Crow all day long.

What's that you say? You're not going to do that? You'd rather have the government do your pro-confederate speech for you?

That's okay. I understand. After all, you don't want people yelling mean things at you. That might not be safe.

Anonymous said...

My family fought for the South and the North.
My family owned slaves and some of my family was slaves.
Blacks were not the only slaves. There were others.
The difference is the others decided to make something of their lives.
We have black history month. Why tell only part of our history?
We already have some people destroying statues because they think they glorify the South.

Anonymous said...

History re-written is then followed by civil conflict and violent death. Buy weapons, ammo, gold and silver coins. The footsteps grow louder.

Anonymous said...

4:20 "...We just don't want the government we pay for actively sanctioning racist bullshit."

(Chuckles)... that's exactly what your President's been doing.

Anonymous said...

10:22 I couldn't dream of a more dead on point post. I'm envious of your commenting abilities. Those of you who think this proclamation is a good idea, to paraphrase one of your own phrases, go secede and live somewhere else. At least some of us, who don't have to use the library computer to post, would at least like to move MS into the latter part of the 20th century.

And here tiz! said...

God forbid we recognize Confederate related history. The only history that matters and which should be remembered is that promulgated by the northern press, the carpetbaggers, those who would deny the rights of States Righters to even exist.

Kenneth Stokes, Chokwe Lumumba, Medgar Evers, Martin Luther King nor Hussein Obama ever wore a uniform of any sort. None were ever down for any righteous struggle of any description, other than that of neighborhood agitation.

The Confederacy existed for one purpose and one purpose only ~ To stave off the tariff and taxation thievery of the north.

Heddy-Dale Matthias, MD said...

If you wish to send a letter of condemnation to Governor Bryant, please click on this URL.


http://www.governorbryant.com/contact/

I've added a letter you can cut and paste to send in this email.


Dear Governor Bryant:

I can't imagine why on earth you decided to make April "Confederate Heritage Month." Declarations such as this, which do nothing but bring up symbols of a painful past, continue to make Mississippi a national pariah. I'd like to suggest a better idea next year: Celebrate High Quality Charter Schools' Month. If you wish to keep Mississippi last in every category other than poverty, poor education, infant mortality and imprisonment, then keep on celebrating the Confederacy. Most intelligent and forward-thinking residents of this state see this as a continuation of the political posturing that has kept this state dead last in every important category of "life-enhancing" characteristics.



Anonymous said...

I can't believe how many people still try to use the "it wasn't about slavery, it was state's rights excuse." I'll give you state's rights, but the right those states wanted to keep was the right to own slaves. Go look up the articles of secession for the confederate states. Most of them list slavery as a major if not the most important reason for leaving the Union. Please explain how you can read that and still say the Confederacy wasn't about slavery.

I agree we should all learn history both good and bad (some of you must have skipped those classes). You don't have to have a month celebrating something to learn from it.

Phil continues to pander to a base that makes Mississippi look ridiculous in the eyes of the rest of the country. There is a reason governors of other southern states say "Thank God for Mississippi" and it isn't because they admire us, we tend to make everyone else look better and less racist.

Anonymous said...

9:33, if you will read just a little you will see the governors of many other southern states have done the same thing as our governor.
Hate to be the one to break it to you.

Anonymous said...

11:55, I realize some othwr governors make the same proclamation but that doesn't make it wise or right. It also doesn't change what the causes of the Civil War were. While other states make these proclamations MS should stop and show the nation we can move on and be inviting to all. We are last in just about every category and could use every leg up possible to position ourselves above our neighbors. I certainly don't blame the poor performance of MS on things like this alone but it doesnt help our image.

Anonymous said...

I don't see it stopping large corporations from locating in Mississippi, nor do I see it not allowing minority athletes from getting scholarships from our major publicly funded universities. Looking at the talent of the 2 SEC schools, I don't see very many white boys playing do you? So, I don't think it's hurting us

Anonymous said...

I'd suggest you get out and see the rest of the south. States like NC are running circles around MS when it comes to attracting largw companies and improving the lives of citizens. MS grants 300 million in incentives to bring a tire plant that provides low level positions at best while the students smart enough to go to college leave the state for greener pastures.

Anonymous said...

6:51, what do you expect from Ms.?
We are last in everything good and first in everything bad. It is hard to compare Ms. to other states. That is like comparing a 3 grader to a pro basketball player. You can not expect anything else.

Anonymous said...

So none of you never answered as to why Ole Miss had to drop the Rebel flag but they still attract black athletes. MSU still flies the state flag and still attracts black athletes. Personally, I don't think any of them give a damn as long as they are getting a free education in basket weaving and kiddy garden teachin' because most of them are broke (black athletes) after they get to the pros and by momma an' ' em some caddies and bmw's and put some cuzzes into bidnis Case in point Steve McNAir, whose wife had to sell the farm to pay debts when he had a 90 million dollar contract and a rag head Muslim girlfriend who shot him in the head! LORD HAVE MERCY!!

Anonymous said...

The flag has nothing to do with it. It is just another way to blame everything on someone or something else. As long as they have something they can yell racist about they do not have to do a single damn thing they do not want to and it is not their fault.

Anonymous said...

April has been proclaimed Confederate Heritage Month by several Mississippi governors. Ronnie Musgrove, a DEMOCRAT, also proclaimed the same thing. It really is about heritage. It has nothing to do with hate.

Anonymous said...

"I don't see it stopping large corporations from locating in Mississippi,"

Name one Fortune 500 Company headquartered in MS. Just one out of 500.

Take your time - we'll wait.

Anonymous said...

4:02, can you name one Fortune 500 company that decided not to come to Ms. because of Confederate Heritage Month?
Take your time-we will wait.

Anonymous said...

It really didn't take very long for the Ole Miss NAACP or the media to collectively crap their tidy-whities over this.

Now how about we get the state flag back up the pole at Ole Miss so that foofy-haired Coon kid alongside Sierra Mannie and Buka Okoye get their ego in check.

All-inclusiveness means jack when the moves at OM were openly meant to silence opposition AND on top of it when they bang the war drum of "tolerance" against something every Mississippi governor has done since before Ronnie Musgrove.

-Desert Kid



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.