Monday, November 23, 2020

Have Fun!

 Check out some of the CDC Thanksgiving guidelines: 

Encourage guests to avoid singing or shouting, especially indoors. Keep music levels down so people don’t have to shout or speak loudly to be heard.  WHAT????

Plan ahead and ask guests to avoid contact with people outside of their households for 14 days before the gathering.

 Treat pets as you would other human family members – do not let pets interact with people outside the household.

 Check the COVID-19 infection rates in areas where attendees live on state, local, territorial, or tribal health department websites. Based on the current status of the pandemic, consider if it is safe to hold or attend the gathering on the proposed date.

 Use touchless garbage cans if available. Use gloves when removing garbage bags or handling and disposing of trash. Wash hands after removing gloves.

Click here to read the rest of the guidelines.  

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Saying this in my best Linus voice...Were Doomed

Anonymous said...

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, I think everyone understands it’s going to be a shit show. People aren’t going to wear masks and they aren’t going to be able to help themselves if offered a hug or kiss. The current generation is soft and just can’t deal with the slightest inconvenience even to protect the lives of their own family. They want everything and they want it now!

Anonymous said...

Mississippi, please wear mask while banging your cousin

Anonymous said...

Best thing is to limit gatherings to immediate household members only.

The guidelines are generally effective, but the reality is anyone who is considering having extended family & friends over for the holidays probably won't follow the CDC recommendations anyway. They certainly won't self-quarantine for two weeks ahead of time. Masks will be used very infrequently, and then only by those who are concerned about getting COVID (which if they were wary they shouldn't be attending in the first place).

Give it up. People are stupid and careless. No gathering is going to be safe and transmission will depend solely on the luck of nobody infected attending. Look for a major surge in December and January.

Anonymous said...

Just basic common sense. But, manufactured outrage here. Sad to see allegedly grown men so weak and soft and stupid that they spew misinformation, or ridicule basic public health.

Again, doesn't matter if you're a race car driver, a "bigshot" at JCC, or rich or a Medal of Honor winner. The virus doesn't care what you spew on Facebook. 3% are dying, and that's completely on the weak sister No Maskers and partying idiots. White trash, spewing TeaTardisms.

Thanks for electing Biden with yo "FreeDumb." We'll pay the price for that, right to China. LiberaLTarians ain't a gonner wear no mask, even when it does kill them (and quite a few innocents, too).

Anonymous said...

" Use touchless garbage cans if available."
WTF is this ?. . . like touchless booty wipes ?

" do not let pets interact with people outside the household."
Translation: dogs can only hump the drunk Uncle's leg.

" Having a virtual dinner and sharing recipes"
Golly Gee ! That sounds like the best idea ever !!!!

"Visiting pumpkin patches or orchards where people use hand sanitizer before touching pumpkins"

Well Mister Rogers . . . I always wash my hands before and after I touch a pumpkin.
I like touching pumpkins, it's a special feeling. Can you say punk'n ?
Sure . . . I knew you could.

Anonymous said...

Someone actually gets paid to come up with these ridiculous directives. And 3:09, you're confusing MS with AR.

Anonymous said...

These guidelines do not apply to libtard politicians, such as Piglosi, Kalifornia's Fig Newsom, and likey Baby Chok.

The self-appointed ruling class are immune from germs, but not the little people/subjects.

The Pen Is Mightier said...

YAWN.....As Chris Tucker said in Rush Hour -"you can [take your thanksgiving recommendations and] stick up yo a$$".

Anonymous said...

Mother Nature will not be deterred. She’s doing some cleaning up and we’re the dust bunnies.

Anonymous said...

If only the virus targeted those with below room temperate IQ. Most of Mississippi would be gone, but at least it would cleanse the gene pool.

Anonymous said...

I have a real problem with the part about pets. My dog won’t wear a mask. Maybe they could send somebody from CDC to put one on him but please be advised, the mean little bastard bites!!!


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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