Thursday, January 26, 2017

You were warned about this....

Say goodbye to $15/hr burger flippers and meet the new Big Mac ATM:

This not a joke.  The picture is not a creation of The Onion nor is it fake news.  The Boston Herald reported:

McDonald’s is launching two new versions of the Big Mac — the Big Mac Jr. and the Grand Mac — with a giveaway promotion in Kenmore Square Tuesday.

A McDonald’s statement said the chain “is excited to invite the local community to experience the Big Mac ATM in order to try these delicious new Big Mac sizes firsthand.” Burgers will be dispensed Tuesday between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. “while supplies last.”

But a quick Herald consumer survey outside the Golden Arches there found little enthusiasm for an automated burger dispenser that many fear is the wave of the future as struggling fast-food chains look to cut costs...Rest of article.

$15/hr x 0 hours = $0. 


Anonymous said...

Can't blame them. A machine will be an upgrade.

Messick said...

Skip the burger maker and just have a machine that dispenses Special Sauce in 12 ounce cans.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't have to worry as much about menstruated blood on my burger.

Anonymous said...

After that tribal moron in Columbus it would surely be cleaner!

Anonymous said...

@3:04 amen. And doesn't have an attitude.

Kingfish said...

Just as long as CFA doesn't use these contraptions. The service is always very good and friendly. Unlike the surly mumbled language I get half the time at McDonalds in the Jackson area. Arby's employees are somewhat nicer, however.

Anonymous said...

"Fast food restaurant" is a recent invention anyway and there is no reason to believe that it's stay must be permanent. The only permanent fixture in a capitalist economy is the constant search for cheap labor. So eventually some kind of automated server will replace the burger flipper and we'll learn to live with it. It will probably talk and be always friendly too.

Anonymous said...

These machines and kiosks have been in the works for at least a decade. Has nothing to do with the $15/hr thing. Lazy narratives are good, though.

Anonymous said...

Chick-fil-A: "It's a great day at Chick-fil-A. How may I serve you?"

McDonald's: [90 second delay] "Go 'head."

Anonymous said...

These machines and kiosks have been in the works for at least a decade. Has nothing to do with the $15/hr thing.

Yup, the operational cost of labor had absolutely nothing to do with the innovation. What a lazy comment.

Every Pickle Matters... said...

Will the sole pickle be centered?

Anonymous said... name for a band.....

Soul Pickle

And I rarely eat mcdonalds...would never eat at one again if all it had was a box of bad burgers.

I like going in and trying to pronounce the names....gets me going.

Anonymous said...

Wendy's at Lake Harbor/Old Canton best service fast food of all

Anonymous said...

This is awesome. Automation makes sense for a lot of things in the future.

Hilarious a lot of my friends use these sort of things as a prime example of the future but have problems applying the same concept to things like coal energy, etc.

Anonymous said...

10:12, trying to pronounce the name of the products or the names of the employees?

Messick said...

"McDonald's is a place to rock."

Anonymous said...

This goes beyond fast food. Technology is going to eventually make the majority of what we do as work obsolete. I think that some day, maybe a long time from now, but some day, we're gonna have to reevaluate our understanding of how one earns his share of the available resources. When labor isn't required to harvest or produce those resources, then you can't say that labor is how you earn a share.

Anonymous said...

I just don't think a Big Mac will taste as good if you don't have to wait on a greasy floor while employees talk to each other, but not the next customer for at least 5-10 minutes (when you are next in line), and listen to a dispute about who hasn't had his/her break yet. Very similar to discussion often heard in check out line at Kroger.

Les Hardin said...

Just returned from Argentina and stopped at a McDonalds in Buenos Aires. I ordered at a Kiosk, it spit out a number and I went to a wall that had number slots and picked up the order there. They also had counter service but since I didn't speak Spanish it was easier to do the transaction through the Kiosk. I really liked it and it had about 25 languages you could order in.

Anonymous said...

The food is going to be the same. It all depends on if you want to wait around while the employees decide if they want to take your order and who gets to spit in your order or get your order quickly and without body fluids added.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

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Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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