Check out this Brandon thief who may be a future candidate for a Darwin award:
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
36 comments:
Those Yetis aren't cheap, either.
LOOKS LIKE YOUR DRIVEWAY NEEDS A LITTLE WORK !!!!
I know the guy who's cooler it is, and I spared him on Facebook, but why would you leave a $400 cooler just sitting in your driveway?
Rumor has it that he's planning to sneak back for a 3rd time tonight to peel the sticker off
It wasn't theft if there was an intent to return it.
Its not theft, if he intended to return it.
Its just like baiting Deer and watching it on a game camera.
If you have a Yeti and a truck note, you're making poor life decisions.
Y'all are behind keyboards making fun when y'all should be thanking me. One more POS off the street. For y'all's information I left the cooler soaking in soap and water.. In my driveway! Not the street! It was nasty from a fishing trip a few weeks ago. Forgot to empty it out. My bad! It was also slammed full of water. You can see the soap suds coming out of the top. It was closer to my garage than the street. Come smell the cooler right now and you will realize why it was there. I had just washed the cooler out the hour before. I was only 2 doors down helping a family member put together a crib. I do appreciate you sparing my feelings though. That's going to help me sleep better tonight..
Nice getaway vehicle. Guy must be pawning a lot of Yetis. Gotta question the college affiliation of a guy who would throw fish in a Yeti in the first place and then leave them in there to rot. (Folks born in Mississippi will understand the college affiliation part.)
Might have been a plant to test the new video system recently installed. Worked pretty good.
It wasn't rotting fish in there.. It was worms. We cleaned all the fish boss! Also, he's pawned 9 Yeti coolers this month. He's a serial thief.
obama economy.
Regardless, it is a schmuck who leaves a YETI cooler in his driveway, begging to be stolen. The fact that the perp has pawned 9 stolen YETI's tells me that there are eight other schmucks just like you. Act like you live in Jackson and take precautions with your stuff.
Regardless, you'd never call me a schmuck to my face. Now get out of your moms basement, get a job, and quit making excuses for yourself and for thieves. Your trolling only makes me smile, so keep it coming!
he might have thought it was set out for trash? I cannot make it back up the driveway without someone taking almost anything.
The Yeti Owner had every right to leave his cooler anyplace (on his own property) he wanted to. The Yeti Owner has done the public a great service, by providing a name, and evidence, that this scrawny little mistake is stealing things in Brandon. Now, the thief will either be inducted into Rankin County's local 'Parallel Power Structure', or (more likely) he'll eventually be exterminated, when he steals the Yeti of someone who's "connected".
They already stole your money when you bought an ice chest that costs that much.
schmuck
Anyone had luck with those Yeti cups? They're nice and all but at $40 a piece without an insulated top, I'm skeptical of it's insulating properties.
The cups do well, I only use mine for coffee but a hot coffee is good till afternoon except when it is really cold outside and the cup is constantly exposed to the cold.
Just some free advice. If you decide to buy one of the yeti cups, do not leave it setting in your drive way.
During 2003, I bought an Igloo at Wal Mart for about twenty-five bucks.
Thirteen years latter, it still keeps the beer perfectly cold over the weekend.
The Yeti cups are the fo'shizzle mynizzle. I have one for coffee at my house and another for coffee at my office. I have a rambler for tea/soda/margarita at my house and a rambler for tea/soda/mar... err... at my office. I have the shooter for my dirty bourbon and my rocky scotch.
Honestly, they are good and actually worth the money, in my redneck opinion. You can find "knockoffs" such as RTIC, artic chill, grid gear, kodiak, titan, thermik, etc for much less money. I do have a Yeti in every size but got them as gifts.
When it comes to cold beer a Yeti is nothing but a overpriced ego trip.
Y'all leave this man alone. Do you think he thought by leaving his cooler in the driveway, he thought some POS was going to come steal it? I didn't think so. It's Rankin County for Christ sakes! This stuff doesn't happen everyday in this area. At least our fine lawmen of this county caught the guy. I feel safe in Rankin County. Unlike y'all living in Jackson who are scared to leave your house at night!!
How much Yeti charge for those rubber battery box latches? I see em on egay all day for about three fiddy each in bulk.
Next time use that lock hole to lock that Yeti to your dog's chain!
We in Jackson are not scared to leave our houses at night. We just do so armed.
A few thoughts here:
The Yeti was on the owner's property and the thief had no right to take it. The owner also has the right to use his Yeti any way he sees fit.
With that being said, I have an Igloo for fish and my Yeti is reserved for food and drinks. After having lived previously in Jackson and currently in a large U.S. city I keep my valuables locked up or out of sight.
"With that being said" 6:50 indirectly blames the victim.
Sorry to be so clueless about the way pawning things works, but he took the item to a pawn shop and got a sticker. I get that, but how did he take it home with him? Don't they keep the item at the pawnshop where they give you money?
Attn 6:46 What does "setting in your driveway" mean?
This is a serious question.
Is there anything legally we can do (and would this be a good approach) to partly put the responsibility on the pawn shop owners for taking in stolen things?
I feel like this would help curb down stealing if the process to pawn things was a lot harder.
Yes, you could do this, 10:42. It's done in multiple circumstances, copper at scrap metal yards is the most recent example.
How would pawn shops stay in business if they didn't buy stolen property?
I apologize for making fun of you I just couldn't pass it up.
A person who would steal anything deserves to spend time in jail.
A thief is a thief, no matter what they steal.
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