Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Rick Cleveland: Van Chancellor on UConn

Basketball Hall of Fame coach Van Chancellor drawls on and on in superlatives when asked about Geno Auriemma and his Connecticut women's basketball juggernaut.

Hey, Van, is UConn the most dominant team in sports today?

“Ain't no question about it,” Chancellor says, by telephone from his Houston home. “There's nobody else today to compare 'em to. I'd have to go back to the 1927 New York Yankees or John Wooden's great men's team at UCLA. That's how good they are. They are so much better than everyone else in the sport.

“You got the best coach and he's coaching the very best players. I've always said Pat Summitt did more than any single person for women's college basketball but even her teams at their peak weren't like what Conn has become.”

Mississippi State will face the Huskies in the NCAA Tournament Round of 16 Saturday at Bridgeport, Conn., which will be about as neutral a court as The Hump was for Michigan State Sunday. Chancellor, a Mississippi State alum who first gained fame at Ole Miss, has an opinion on that, too.

“I don't think it's really a fair deal for State,” Chancellor says. “They did enough in the SEC to be better than a five-seed. They already beat the best mid-major coach (Chattanooga's Jim Foster) and a really good Michigan State team. A team with their record in the SEC should not have to play Connecticut in Connecticut in the Round of 16. That's just my opinion.”

Facing UConn, anywhere, is like trying to swim the Pacific Ocean, bleeding, with sharks all around. UConn has won 71 straight games, 117 of the last 118. The Huskies led their opening round opponent, Robert Morris 60-9 before waltzing to a 52-point victory. UConn's average margin of victory through 34 straight victories this season? Try 40 points. Forty!

How sure a thing is UConn? This is being written on Sunday evening. UConn still had to beat Duquesne to reach the Saturday date with Mississippi State. Details...

“You can coach forever and maybe sign the best player in the country maybe one time in your career,” Chancellor says. “Geno signs the best player in the country every year. He has several players who could start for any team in the country.”

Chancellor, who went on from Ole Miss to championships in the WNBA and Olympic gold, finished his coaching career at LSU. That's when he sent his teams up against UConn and Auriemma.

“Offensively, he is way ahead of everyone else,” Chancellor said. “They run that stuff Princeton ran under Pete Carril. They'll backdoor you to death if you get up and guard them, and they'll stand out there knock down threes all day if you play off them.”

Carril, a basketball philosopher, once said: "We pass, we cut, we shoot the ball well and we look for good shots. The main thing is to get a good shot every time down the floor. If that's old fashioned than I'm guilty."

Auriemma is guilty as changed, as well. And Auriemma, respectively, has better players than Carril ever had.

Nevertheless, Chancellor likes what he sees in what Vic Shafer, his old golf buddy, has achieved at State. “Vic's done an unbelievable job,” Chancellor says. “That atmosphere against Michigan State was unreal. I've always said this about Mississippi State. You give those fans a winner, they'll show up and support you. They are hungry and always have been. They are building something special there.”

Saturday, Shafer and his Bulldogs can measure themselves against the best of the best. Currently, UConn has no peer.

•••

Rick Cleveland is the historian of the Mississippi Sports Hall of Fame and Museum and a syndicated columnist. His email address is rcleveland@msfame.com

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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