Friday, March 11, 2016

The Mayor speaks

Jackson Mayor Tony Yarber posted this epistle on Facebook:

It took me at least 15 minutes to begin this post. It took so long because I actually didn't know where to start. In the City that we all love, it seems that everything that could go wrong is going wrong, fast. Like you, I'm asking how much more can one city endure. How many more potholes? How many more "takeover" attempts? How many more water main breaks? How many more murders? You've heard every excuse. You've heard that it's my fault; previous mayors' fault; the Council's fault; the State's fault. You know that infrastructure has been neglected comprehensively for longer than many of us have been alive. You know that love begins at home and that people have to love themselves to truly stop the violence. You know that the media will never show us as a City where more people get along than fight. All these things are what we know. But, knowing these things don't get us any closer to seeing the problems solved in the City. I was challenged by someone on Twitter to ride around Jackson to see what's actually going on. While understanding his point, I was quickly reminded of the $1700 worth of work done to my car from riding these raggedy streets. So, I don't want to talk about what you already know. I want to briefly talk about what you don't know. What's being done to put Jackson on the right track. 

If I'm you, there are a few questions I would want to ask and have answers to right now.

What's going on with the 1% money? Over the last 22 months, $25 million dollars has been collected. The only issue is there is a commission, that I am on, that the State placed over the approval of the money. In other words, the money can only be spent when the commission approves the projects. The commission has so far approved $13million dollars. That money was approved to purchase pothole patching and other equipment necessary to move improvements. It was also approved to start drainage work in places like Brookhollow, and some street resurfacing. Some bridges are redone as well. What we have also done is used the 1% to leverage $16.5 million dollars in grants to begin work on West County line Rd, near Tougaloo as well. The City has never received that grant before. We secured another $3 million for Mill Street. The next thing we will move to do is leverage about $118 million dollars for this year to see roads, work on water, drainage, and bridges repaired. While that seems like alot of money, in the grand scheme of things, it's not. But, it's what we can do for now. Yes, it's taken 22 months to get here. Why? Because the potholes we see are just symptoms of the water (40%) that's lost once it leaves the plant and heads to your house. It gets in the gound and causes the ground beneath to be unstable, and you get....POTHOLES. It's like an infection. That means, we have had to begin dealing with what's REALLY wrong with the City. We have had to start dealing with horrible practices of spending and practices of management. We have had to deal with a contract with Seimens that has created a nightmare for everyone and created severe problems with billing that we are close to having solved. I KNOW the urgency you feel. I feel it too. I am always frustrated that I can't replace a terrible employee immediately. Or that we can't fix a ditch behind someone's house immediately or at all. But, the City has long systemic problems that must be fixed, or we will be having this same conversation again in 5 years, if the City is still ours.

What are we doing about the Crime? When I hear that question, I think of Othor Cain always saying that peole are only truly safe when they FEEL safe. Doesn't matter that crime went down last year and the murder rate dropped. If you don't FEEL safe on your porch, then you are NOT safe. When 6 people are killed over 5 days, that discredits the stats. So, we have found a way to potentially put an additional 40 officers on the streets to beef up presence/visibility. We are re-engaging YOU to help us help each other. We have initiated TIPS411 so you can anonymously text us what you think we need to know. Crime has to get better. In South Jackson, where I live, shootings outside of the house have to stop. And Chief Vance is working on it. We have started cleaning up abandoned property at a rate that we never have before. But, we are aware that it is not enough, fast enough. So, that's why I created the Neighbors First program. We wanted to give you a chance to help us clean up this place by giving you the opportunity purchase these properties.

What about businesses? Business in Jackson can be and will be better. How we treat businesses in Jackson must be better. Businesses need water to run effectively. Businesses need to have their investments and patrons protected. But, we have started to stabilize business flight. When we first got in office there were several businesses that were leaving or had planned to leave. Sam's left and we just announced that AT HOME would be going in to fill the space left there. Over 11 national chains have opened up in Jackson, with at least 2 more making plans for South Jackson now. We recruited the solar panel company to Larson St. and they are making an initial $50 million dollar investment with over 250 jobs.

There has been alot of talk about the airport takeover. Am I for or against? I have been against since day 1. When a conversation to purchase the airport first came up behind closed doors, my comment was, "It ain't gone fly". Because it DIDN'T fly, legislation was created by Senator Harkins to "fly" it. They used legislation because they know they have the votes. And now, the play is to use legislation we have been working on since 2014 to fund the Capital Complex which would pump money into the city, directly from the State, as leverage. So, there is no deal to be made. If they want to vote, they will do so with or without.

Our problems are many. But, we won't accomplish them by doing the same stuff we have always done. The same stuff is fighting each other while the rest of MS watches us unravel. Yes, it does seem like all hell is breaking loose. But, this hell is giving us the chance to fix it RIGHT, once and for all. Unfortunately, it just isn't happening fast enough. But, it WILL happen.


Messick said...

"Baby Boy Speaks"

Anonymous said...

Say what you will, but he makes good points.

Anonymous said...

Was this man once a school teacher??? GEEZ

Anonymous said...

No, Baby Boy stretches the truth - and lies. Places the blame on others. The truth lies in the fact that he and his staff are so deep in over their heads that they don't know where to start.

He is right on the airport - but afraid he brought this stupid move on the city by their ineptness in other areas.

Anonymous said...

It was a post on facebook so I am not going to get caught up in grammatical accuracy, b/c what's the point. I think this post does prove that the Mayor "gets it". He knows what the issues are and how to try and go about fixing them. He is trying to solve decades of neglect on multiple fronts. I think we could have definitely done worse when selecting a Mayor. Face it, there probably aren't very many qualified people who would take that job if it was handed to them. Good luck to him.

Anonymous said...

It's time for everyone in the city to quit passing the blame around and start making definitive steps to fix the issues. The council and the mayor need to start working together. Everyone should be on the same team here. The team that wants to see Jackson be restored to a livable city that people want to come spend money in.

The buck has to stop somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Exactly 2:25. And those of you criticizing could NOT do any better. Nor would you want the job. The years of neglect will take years to repair. Mayor Yarber is a good man who means well, and he does not deserve the cruelty. If you have constructive criticism or suggestions to offer, I am sure he would welcome them.

Anonymous said...

Jackson will not see any change or improvement until the citizens decide they want change and improvement. If they ever decide they do want change and improvement we will see it when they elect people who want to help the city. So far that hasn't happened. The opposite has happened time after time.

Anonymous said...

He will eventually end up on CNN answering the question when did you find out you had rod iron pipes under Jackson? when did you find out they used lime to clean water. When did you find out lime and iron pipes don't mix?

Dan Hise said...

I thank the Mayor for the details and the direct comments about crime especially. I hope he does this sort of thing at least once a quarter, because his constituents are eager to hear, in detail, just what is going on--big picture and small.

And thank the gods for Chief Vance, and for the men and women of the JPD. Thugs are multiplying like rabbits crazed with lust, but our officers keep rounding them up. Stay with us, Chief!

Anonymous said...

Jackson is truly sad, sad ,sad. Once a great little city or a very big neat town.That is gone for ever and never to return. I feel very sorry for the older people trapped there for their last days will not be very pleasant. Those younger folks just get out now; sell or rent your house for each day will be worse. No one or other level of government is coming to save the city. Nothing will ever make this land of any value; it is all gone forever and forever.

Anonymous said...

The old water system and its problems existed long before Mayor Yarber took office.

Anonymous said...

The problems in/with Jackson are many. It will take time and commitment from many, not just the Mayor to turn it around. I believe Jackson (finally) has a Mayor who has a vision for the city, leadership in the Police Department and the Sheriff's Office who are committed to fighting the criminal element, and some city council members (SOME) who want to work to see the city prosper and grow.

It's really up to the citizens to "fall in line" and support these officials.

Anonymous said...

4:37 - Thanks, but no thanks. We're staying.

Anonymous said...

4:44 your post is down right funny.

Anonymous said...

You have got to give Tony Yarber credit for at least speaking out and trying to address the monumental problems that the city of Jackson faces. My family has known him since middle school; my daughter went to school with him from then until HS graduation and he was always known as a leader and an outstanding person that everyone looked up to, both black/white/Asian/Latin/whatever ethnic background you what to claim. He has inherited a city that is in a deplorable downward spiral; I don't envy his job. Knowing him as I do, his heart and commitment are in the right place. Can anyone among these readers fix potholes with zero money? Can you dissuade businesses from leaving in the blink of an eye? I mean, please pony up and offer real solutions instead of criticism. I personally admire him for at least throwing himself on a sinking boat and trying to make a difference. This will no doubt follow him the rest of his life (and he's still got a lot of life to live), and I can't imagine what a restful nights sleep must mean to him by now. Send him solutions, not tear downs and critiques on what he hasn't done.

Anonymous said...

Jackson is able to keep a decent downtown a few blocks around the mansion and capitol; but other than that limited downtown area, the place is a disaster than cannot be saved. People with money will not invest in any areas other than the core downtown area. Its a lost cause, a horrible ghetto that will eventually consume that core area.

Anonymous said...

This is the attitude we need. Jacksonians want change and this how we get it: A dog-determined mayor who uses the resources (albeit few) at his disposal to their maximum extent, combined with the calm, reasoned approach of the council president.

The mayor is right. The too-predictable and insufferably negative comments on this site be damned.

Anonymous said...

Tony Yarber is the worse mayor I have seen in my 40 years in Jackson. He does not have a clue on how to manage a city and has surrounded himself with people who are either incompetent or even worse, dishonest. He is a perfect example of the Peter Principle. Look at the $400,000 contract he tried to get the city council to approve yesterday to do an Engineering study on the city's water pipe. It was going to a black lady from Texas with no engineering background or experience and a "degree" from the University of Phoenix. Oh, she does own a cleaning company which I guess makes her qualified.If he was looking for a minority civil engineering firm I can think of at three right here in Jackson, AJA Associates, CivilTech and IMG who are qualified to do the work. As I see it Mayor Yarber is leaving to much of the decision making to a few people in his administration whose only purpose is to funnel contracts to their friends and financial supporters of Mayor Yarber. The late Mayor Lumumba had started moving Jackson in the right direction. Since his death everything has gone downhill. The only hope for Jackson is that we can survive until July 2017 when a new mayor will take office!

Anonymous said...

Facebook? Put on ya big boy boots and quit wincing!

Anonymous said...

I agree with every point the mayor made. This is what mature leadership looks like. I say that for the benefit of the city council members that read this blog.

Anonymous said...

Hey 6:17, you left out here greatest qualification....SHE'S A NOTARY REPUBLIC!

Anonymous said...

5:46, don't you think he should have had some ideas in mind before deciding to run for mayor of Jackson?
Everything has continued it's downward spiral since he took office. There should have been something that got better but that isn't the case.
Crime is at the bottom of Jackson's problems. With high crime businesses will continue to leave. When businesses leave the tax base drops. Without tax money it is impossible to repair the water system or the streets.
Crime is the problem and that will not change as long as Jackson is a safe haven for criminals.

Anonymous said...

7:15 p.m.....Did you man up and run for Mayor of Jackson?? You don't have to tell me anything about businesses leaving Jackson. I work for a company that just recently relocated out of Jackson (after 5 decades!!) to Rankin County. I doubt you have any idea of the taxes they paid to remain in Jackson for too many years. Do you want the job of being mayor of Jackson? I doubt it. Who would? Where would you start as Mayor of Jackson (being you have a crystal ball of what he should have done)? The problems in Jackson are extremely deep seated; crime is just the beginning of the wormhole. Why don't you present us with a plan that the present Mayor could have to put into motion from day one that would have every issue addressed and solved by now? Please present that for us. We all need to know what they can do with their existing budget against major, major crime.

Anonymous said...

I mean, really??? Do you want to get these calls all night long about flooded streets and God only knows what? I would love to know among these HONEST readers; who wants to be the mayor of Jackson, MS, and yet have the audacity to criticize? Do you like being told day after day of the homicides? Do you enjoy the political game and chase that involves the future of generations to come? Oh please, whatever master plan you have, bring it on to the light of day! I am so DISGUSTED with the armchair comments from people who don't have any idea of what's like to be in the trenches. You must all enjoy a full days and night of rest without your phone blowing up into 250+ calls a day. Please expand your perspective. So many of you looking through a straw at a problem that is a gigantic PIPELINE. This blog is so full of negatives and never enough remedies; if you have enough energy to tear down someone, surely you have a solution to back it up.

Anonymous said...

There are plenty of things that the City 'could' do if the Mayor and the Council would decide that their job is to fix the problems, not take care of their individual constitutents and supporters.

No - I would not man up and run for Mayor because I know I could not win. Number 1, I am white. And Jackson has proven that they demand that its leadership will be black. That's ok, but the problem is that they have decided that every decision they make will be made on the same basis - white/black.

Spend money? OK, but what black business will benefit?
Repair infrastructure? OK, but spend in every part of town, starting in "my" district.
Reduce employees? No way. Will hurt an employee,no matter if the job is needed any longer.
Contributions of the tax dollars? OK, to entities that the individual council members want to support even when there is no money to pay the large employee base.
Cut off water to those that steal it? No. They might be poor. Or old. But they are black. Can't cut off their water, even if they have been straightlinning it.

Not against anyone, black or white. But if Jackson is to be saved it has to be done in a color-blind manner. Spend the money wisely, based on performance and price. Solve the worst problems. Then move on to the next worse.

All the problems can't be solved immediately. But right now, they are just shooting up amongst the problems, like Jerry Clower suggested in his great story. Problem is - we all need relief and scatter shooting isn't going to get us anywhere.

Anonymous said...

The late Mayor Lumumba had started moving Jackson in the right direction.

BS. Kush smoke and mirrors.

4:37 is right said...

"Anonymous Anonymous said...
Jackson is truly sad, sad ,sad. Once a great little city or a very big neat town.That is gone for ever and never to return. I feel very sorry for the older people trapped there for their last days will not be very pleasant. Those younger folks just get out now; sell or rent your house for each day will be worse. No one or other level of government is coming to save the city. Nothing will ever make this land of any value; it is all gone forever and forever.

March 11, 2016 at 4:37 PM"

Well said.

That sums it all up in a true and concise post.

Anonymous said...

Hard for me to take on his "Pastor" FB page.... while he is AWOL with Keisha at yesterday's meeting. YUCK, yuck, double yuck.

Anonymous said...

Good letter! I especially liked his comments regarding the feeling of safety contradicting facts. He should use this same logic and apply it to the racism that is emitted from the City Council. Jackson would go a long way to improve peoples feelings of the City by eliminating Stokes and other racist from leadership.

Anonymous said...

8:17, the only way anyone would want to be mayor of Jackson is to skim off all the money they can. I am too honest and too white to be mayor of Jackson. Most mayors have been successful in that.
Again, crime is the one problem to get control of first.
You can't do that with council members wanting to rock, bottle, and brick law officers from other cities who do try to arrest criminals.
You can't do that when most of the water dept. are thieves stealing water from the city and collecting the water bills for pocket cash.
You can't do that when the citizens of Jackson protecting the criminals and yelling racist every time a criminal is arrested.
You can't do that when visitors to the city are murdered.
You can't do that as long as law enforcement officers are as crooked as those they are supposed to arrest.

Since the streets or the water system are not going to be fixed anyway why not try stopping the crime. The cops are already hired, working, and collecting a pay check. Tell them to get to work or be replaced. When crime is controlled you will see how much easier other problems can be fixed.

Anonymous said...

For summa these cops, the city pay check is nothing but wine and bait money. Their real income comes from the dope dealers.

Anonymous said...

It me. The Stepford resident posting the same Jackson-bashing comment over and over again. The text of 4:37 can be found in other comment sections on this site. As a young person who has lived all over the metro but has settled in Jackson, I can say that neither I, nor any others similarly situated, are interested in moving to Potemkin's village. Honestly, if this city's dumpy suburbs are the only alternative to Jackson, they are not an alternative.

Anonymous said...

6:10 Great to hear from you. Enjoy that raw human sewage floating down Sheffield and other Jackson streets. I can't say I've seen that in the streets of the former pasture full of fake stucco houses where I live, but it must be great selling point for realtors, right up there with high crime and terrible schools in attracting those of you who fancy yourself in the "creative class".

Anonymous said...

Some of you, especially, the grammar/spelling critics, apparently have zero reading comprehension ability!

1:59 pm doesn't know to be embarrassed by his or her poor sentence construction! He or she doesn't know how to recognize typing and editing errors common to Facebook. Nor do they seem to have ever studied literature or read many books. If they had studied and read, they'd know they could find errors in the classics and it textbooks!
1:59 pm, for certain, didn't read TO THE LIGHTHOUSE

But, worse, most of the critics don't know they are announcing to the world that they suffer from cognitive distortion and convenient memory loss!

Those engaged in the personal attacks never learned that attacking the messenger rather than the message is a sign of intellectual weakness. It is the tactical last resort for those who cannot dispute the message.

And, it's clear that some of you don't understand what a Mayor can and cannot do! Therefore, you are displaying your ignorance as well.

Those of you who fits the preceding descriptions ARE the PROBLEM!


Anonymous said...

9:06 , you are right on the money . Like Detroit it will take the Feds to clean up this minority set aside nonsense. He took to FB only when he was cought on the trilogy mess . If the white contractor had all these credentials, why didn't he bid directly , after all we were in an emergency. Our property values are in the tank providing employment for these middle class wannabe . This city provides zero services to it's citizens . Better wake up like Memphis throw this idiot out , after all he was council president , why didn't he say so then ? Should have said the same when he ran for the office.

Anonymous said...

In 1979 much of the flooding was made worse by the fact that for decades the city had neglected the maintenance of sewer and drainage systems in Jackson.
I assume some of you must be either too young or too forgetful now in your old age to remember.
You've apparently forgotten the murder rate in Jackson from 1962-1969 nor did you notice police corruption. Gosh, it made national headlines!
You've forgotten the corruption of the good old white boys and how that is exactly why the Republican party started to have success in Mississippi. Too bad the corrupt good old white boy Democrats figured out they could just switch parties.

And, when it comes to white politicians, you never noticed how the ones making less than a hundred grand a year were living above their means. You still vote for a few of them who , to this day, have never held a private job making big bucks but live better than, oh, doctors who were making $300 grand plus during the same time frame. These politicians managed this with no wealth to inherit or to have married! I guess you think they found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow! YOU are their pot of gold!

Here's a hint: Before you vote for a politician who has held office, ride by their home(s). Look up their resume online and find out what salary for those jobs is likely to have been. See if their spouse is employed and how much the job she holds is likely to have earned. Pay attention to their suits and ties and shoes and visit the high end men's and women's stores in the area and see if you recognize anything. The jewelry is often a hint as well, but that's probably too hard .

If you can reconcile what you see with what they are likely to have earned honestly, then vote for them.

Anonymous said...

New rule, apparently: If you're a professional living in Jackson, you're "creative class." It's a question of geography. If you live elsewhere, you're something else. Man, I love this place.

Anonymous said...

TALK is ChEAP. I'd rather SEE a sermon any day!

Anonymous said...

As a young person who has lived all over the metro but has settled in Jackson, I can say that neither I, nor any others similarly situated, are interested in moving to Potemkin's village.

Great throw away comment to allude that you are some sort of "young" intellectual. Jackson's suburbs don't remotely fit the definition but go ahead and keep thinking you are somehow someone who actually knows the difference.

Anonymous said...

Tyrone Hendrix for Mayor!!!

Anonymous said...


You might have had some validity to your comments lost in your rhetoric except your entire comment was invalidated because you started it off with pure nonsense.

The 1979 flooding occurred because the amount of rainfall exceeded the capacity of the streams, rivers and reservoir.

And you drawing a comparison between black corruption and white corruption only attempts to confirm the corruption. Sadly, it attempts to do so and excuse it because whitey did it also.

Anonymous said...

7:30 You should get out/read more. Up in Madison County we just threw out the majority of our Board of Supervisors (white, Repub, yada yada yada) because they were crooks. Note to current board: if you lie to us and pull the same stunts - we'll fire you too.

7:57 Welcome to central Mississippi! If you had been here, oh, 5 or 10 years ago, you too would have heard the constant bleating that the area would die if we didn't attract the "creative class" just like Austin and Denver and so on. That's why we were supposed to have thousands of downtown condos all pre-sold to the self-proclaimed "creative class", but instead we have Jackson, defined by crime, bad schools, and raw sewage in the streets. I bet Calcutta isn't as embarrassing a place to live. But enjoy it - it's your life, not mine.

Anonymous said...

KF once wisely stated (not quoting) that in this part of the world, the best way to be hated is to be successful. That seems to ring true, based on these comments. In all seriousness, Jackson could discover a diamond mine and use it to fix all of the city's problems. Even then, some people would find reason to vent.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone now living in Jackson ever drove down the streets around 9-10 PM? Try it some night.
I used to work in Jackson. I worked a rotating shift. Many times I was going to work or getting off at 10PM. I drove down State Street most of the time. After dark there isn't anyone on the street except the whores. Not even any cars. Drive down hwy 80. Notice who you see, right, some of the same whores. There will be a few drug dealers and quite a few thieves and robbers. The boarded up businesses make great hiding places for those who are up to no good.
I had a Jackson cop tell me they estimated one out of every fie cars on the streets after 9PM to be stolen.
Great place to call home. Thank you Jackson leaders.

Get Your Ass In Gear Yarber said...

No, I do not have to 'give him credit' for at least addressing the issue. And, NO, I do not have to respect him for 'speaking out'. As with our country, words are cheap and written speeches are cheaper.

We need action, no more words. The person at the beginning of this thread who said,
'The buck stops somewhere' is right on. It stops at Yarber. Get busy. ACT. To hell with words.

clintonrebel said...

Rod Iron. Who is he and when did he get on the payroll?

The Potemkin Downtown said...

Ben Allen, president of Downtown Jackson Partners, said at the press conference that he has seen figures showing that, with all the residential development downtown in the form of loft apartments and condos, that in 10 years there could be as many as 25,000 people living downtown, tripling traffic on Pearl Street and Pascagoula Street.
-- Mississippi Business Journal
-- March 3, 2008

Potemkin Propheteers said...

[Ben] Allen emphasized that he and others have proved naysayers about the city's potential wrong, pointing to his own role in promoting the Jackson Convention Center and the King Edward. "I'm not a cheerleader. I'm a damn prophet."
-- Jackson Free Press
-- April 1, 2011

Anonymous said...

You mean someone made a bold, overly-positive prediction on housing in early 2008? Say it ain't so!

Anonymous said...

Rod Iron. Who is he and when did he get on the payroll?

Rod Iron? Sounds made up. Porn star, maybe?

Anonymous said...

@6:17 PM yesterday. IF you have lived here 40 years and think Yarber is worse than Melton and Lumumba, both your head and your heart are all mixed up. Personally, I like the letter and I am glad JJ posted it because otherwise I would not have read it. Sounds like true words to me along with sound thinking.

Anonymous said...

This boy is just as f**** up like every Mayor since Danks. Non of these SOB's have done shit for Jackson!

Whore Patrol said...

Where on State Street, after 9 p.m. might one see these whores? I'm not doubting that whores exist in Jackson and can be seen on 80, but I gotta call BS on the claim about State Street.

Fondren? UMMC? Baptist? Archives and History? Hal and Mal's? The Extremely Yellow Building?

Anonymous said...

9:27am Forgive me for incorrectly assuming that a given would be understood by everyone and that the words " made worse" in my first sentence wouldn't help!
There was flooding in areas that need not have flooded and would not have flooded if the drainage had been maintained!
I did not include that the city fathers and the entire State have let developers get by with substandard practices as well so that buildings and roads were built in such a way as to guarantee water drainage problems where none need to have occurred.
Even worse, they were allowed to alter the landscape in ways that contributed to the potential problems rather than mitigate the potential problems.
During the flood of 1979, homes in my fairly new subdivision in Madison were damaged from the rain that preceded the flood. The reason was their homes got all the water draining down from higher elevations and natural drainage had been filled in. It was a problem that could have been more easily and effectively dealt with when the subdivision was created. They still , no doubt , get water standing in their yards when that could have been avoided.
But, if you continue to elect people who make regulations and laws without bothering to find out any facts on the subject at hand or how the state of the art has changed from " that's the way we always have done it and if it was good enough for Paw ,it's good enough for me", then don't blame those stuck with cleaning up the mess created!
I you have a house, I hope your builder didn't let any old boy who could drive a bulldozer and would for a few bucks clear your lot!

Anonymous said...

During the flood of 1979, homes in my fairly new subdivision in Madison were damaged from the rain that preceded the flood.

Which subdivision? There weren't that many up in Madison back in '79 so it should be easy for you to remember the name. Which one?

Anonymous said...

It isn't really that hard to understand. Water flows down hill. If your roads are lower than the surrounding areas the water will flow to the roads. If the roads are higher than the surrounding areas the water will flow from the roads. See how that works?

If there are drains in your area and you leave garbage, leaves, and limbs laying around they will clog up the drains. When this garbage clogs the drains less water can flow through it. See how that works?

If you decide to build or buy in the wet lands and former swamps when it rains the water will go to that area just like it always has. See how that works?

Packy said...

Repeal the AEO so strip clubs can be located in nicer areas.

Anonymous said...

7:44, try driving north on state street from I20. After you cross the RR tracks you can expect to soo them. There is one that really stands out. A very short mini skirt and a big moustache. I would advise you to look as you drive. Not really a safe place to get out to visit.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS