Monday, February 28, 2022

Dan Berger: Wine's Infinities

When I first began to consume wine as a novice in the 1960s, I had no idea how many forms it could take and how complicated the subject can be once you get into it even on a cursory basis.

    The confusing nature of wine really hit home after I had been writing a wine column for about 20 years. I became friendly with a couple that adored wine. The wife was enamored with chardonnay, but after several visits to their home, it was evident that she really liked only one kind of chardonnay.

    She had never been exposed to anything else. So, she was confused when I brought over a bottle of a French Chablis. "What's that?" she asked with a frown, obviously not pleased with the wine.

     "It's a chardonnay from France," I said. She said something disparaging about how it had nothing to do with the chardonnays that she had always consumed.

    "It's the way chardonnay comes out in Chablis," I said, to which she responded something along the lines of, "People really drink this stuff?" I said I did and loved it.

    This tale opens a discussion of wine's various infinities, and it gets even more byzantine when you begin to explore just one of the grape varieties that some people may think they know. Such as cabernet sauvignon.


     Start with the fact that it's consumed young and old, the latter including 50-year-old examples of Bordeaux.
    Then there are younger wines, many aged in small barrels. But what kind of barrels? French oak? American oak? Acacia wood? Purists say there's a significant difference.

    Then there are cabernets that are not aged in barrels, with winemakers choosing to simply mature them and upright vats. Or cabernets that smell as if they were aged in a barrel, but instead were treated with oak chips, or charred oak staves, or had oak extracts added.

    That's only the beginning. Where the fruit came from plays a significant role too. Everyone knows how famous Napa Valley is for its cabernets, which can be expensive and command the attention of wine collectors around the world.

    But the entire North American west coast grows exceptional cabernet -- including Canada's British Columbia, most of eastern Washington, southern Oregon and Idaho's Snake River Valley. And I've had some great Colorado cabs!
    And many other locations in the world also produce excellent cabernets, including dozens of districts in France and Italy, a dozen locales in Australia, another dozen in other southern hemisphere places (including New Zealand), a half dozen places in Spain and recently even China.

    Moreover, global climate change has given some Scandinavian locations hope they will be able to ripen cabernet sauvignon!

    Those who think they know cabernet might be surprised to learn that a wine website recently had an article on the top 25 cabernets from Uruguay. And one of the world's most sought-after red wines is Chateau Musar, a red wine blend that includes cabernet and is made from grapes grown in the Bekaa Valley of Lebanon!

    What you've just read is a brief look at one grape. Consider that several thousand grape varieties are made into wine around the world, some in places that most people didn't even know were places. 

    Then there are the different styles of wines -- Chardonnays that run the gamut of dry to treacle-y sweet; wines with bubbles; Beaujolais; sherry; port; nonalcoholic; low-alcohol; flavored; orange wine; natural wines... 

    An infinity of infinities?

    Wine of the Week: N.V. Giesen Zero Sauvignon Blanc, Marlborough ($14) -- This nonalcoholic sauvignon blanc is about it as authentic a glass of wine as I have ever seen that has no alcohol. It is from an extremely high-caliber New Zealand winery. Its main aroma is grapefruit, with hints of tropical and leafy notes. It is surprisingly dry, and excellent for those who cannot consume alcohol. 

    To find out more about Dan Berger and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2022 CREATORS.COM
 

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but in order to read about what is going on in Jackson, I'm going to need something stronger.

Anonymous said...

I learn a lot from and enjoy these columns, especially as a non drinker. Really surprised that there is a zero alcohol wine worthy of recommendation. Thanks Dan!

Anonymous said...

I enjoy the column, too, despite knowing that 99% of wines he mentions as worthy of investigation are not sold here. Ah well. I console myself with the thought that wine, like everything we consume, is infinitely variable.

Happy Mardi Gras, everyone.


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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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