Coming soon: The Lynn Fitch fund-raising tour to a burb near you.
Thursday, October 7, 2021
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
59 comments:
Guess she has to do her quail hunt in Purvis because stepmom (and sister) won't let her use NBF home in Marshall County.
HARD Pass, heck if its free i would still pass
I noticed at the bottom it states Paid for by Lynn Fitch for Mississippi, it should really say Paid for by other people for Lynn Fitch FOR Lynn Fitch
I hope she shoots better than she lawyers. Could be a Dick Cheney situation for anyone looking to buy her.
The AP Stylebook holds that an event cannot be described as an “annual” event until is has been held in at least two successive years.
Rules, 2:30, Rules. We don't need no f**king rules out here at Philbilly Consulting.
Who you gonna call, anyway? The AG? a
Already been proven they don't care 'but yore rules - just look at the folks busted by Shad for breaking rules. Them AG folks got too much other stuff to he worried 'bout. You know, tailgating. Shooting. Redecorating. Writing letters complaining. Looking for next year's gig. And of course, studying inheritance law.
2:30 Oh shit!!! Glad you nailed her on that one. I'm not sure the social media buzz will ever subside on that major screw up.
can i get some 'rona funds to cover the cost?
I think the word she is looking for is inaugural. You can't have a first annual. I think its the third occasion you call it annual.
Some one needs to hunt for Lynn. She is MIA
Brought to you by NCC Ventures LLC?
Dang, them Quail must be full Cocaine. I would love to go but I’m tired of kissing Ass for a favor!
Too bad she can't be bothered to do her job prosecuting Shad's cases. It's almost like she sees him as a political threat or something.
Nick and Teddy have RSVP’d. Who else is going?
Sadly, I do not fit the mold of the type folks who will be hanging at this party. No, sadly is wrong.....thankful sounds better.
for many professionals, such as lawyers, words have meaning.
Last week, the US Supreme Court heard oral argument in the case of TN v MS. Fitch delegated the argument to one of her assistants. The lawyer for TN was making his 50th argument in the Supreme Court. Not a fair fight. Fitch was there, but did not speak.
Don't look at me, I didn't vote for her.
Anyone that pays those prices is getting something in return. I'm sure all of the smart people will be there. You got to pay if you want to play.
It could be worse - prison quail.
I see she's still doing everything EXCEPT her actual job as AG.
a little late for me to RSVP
Looks like Lynn needs to clean up her invitation mailing list so they don't go to people who will share them with KF.
Wish she would take a few shots at Canton Municipal Utilities & the corruption taking place there that the State Auditor has referred to her office for prosecution.
let them eat cake
majority of attendees will be out of state plaintiff lawyers
4:05, what makes you think these are not invitations sent to KF? :)
Lynn gearing up for her next big race. Do the attendees get MHP protection as well?
Heard John Coughlin is serving Dickies BBQ for the dinner
The little bird doesn't look like a quail.
At least she's doing something other than that abortion thing.
a lifelong hunter here.
you read right, I'm a hunter , not a shooter.
bunch of candy asses shooting lame and tame quail and pheasants on a shooting preserve.
i wonder if ms fitch even knows what a shooting preserve is? i doubt if she will ever even figure it out.
she will see all those birds and and think 'wow , i sure picked a good spot to go hunting''
In the words of Afroman, "I get nervous as I swerve through Purvis".
This has to be a joke. After all, who in their right mind would drop that much cash to listen to Lynn? Oh wait, this is still Mississippi. Never mind.
Who owns Longleaf Plantation?
somebody better tell ms fitch that pheasants dont inhabit mississippi and quail season doesn't open till thanksgiving day................................... oh wait ,,,,,,, just a moment.....hold the phone...........this is a chicken manure shooting preserve...... not a hunt.
seasons dont apply and all birds are pen raised and released .
in that case
fire away ms fitch ,and be carful and dont shoot the guy or gal next to you like dick cheney did.
id bet my last dollar that the whimps on this "hunt" couldn't even hit those pathetic pen raised birds while in flight and the "guide" told them to just shoot em on the ground.
what is she running for
At least she’s got some rooms set aside at the Holiday Inn in Oxford. Nice.
There ain't a quail to be shot in Mississippi, thanks much to fire ants. Governor Bryant had an exclusive right to hunt up at Louisville at that 'clip wing' farm where they let birds loose who could not fly 30 feet.
It's real good, too, to see Kingfish's moratorium on Fitch posts lifted. I wonder why no such moratorium existed following the posting of the deaths of the black sheriff and prior District Attorney. Of course this post won't see the light of day.
5;24
Longleaf is owned by Warren Hood
6:16
There are a lot of wild quail left to hunt. But only on properly managed land. And while fire ants have played a role in it, the biggest factors in their demise is poorly managed land (I.e. greed), the old timers killed way more than they should, and small mom and pop farms are a thing of the past (again, greed).
The fact that it is hosted by land owned by the Hood family is a huge concern. The Hood family is the closest thing to the mafia that Mississippi has ever seen. Poorly gained riches anyway. Old man hood didn’t have to fight the war, and bought up all the land from families who couldn’t farm it because their sons had to fight.
4:10 She will never touch Canton Utilities because she knows she will need those votes in the future.
ms fitch , on her lil invitation card , has the stinking nerve to call this a "hunt".
it s a fake hunt ms fitch ....just as fake as you and every other clown mississippi politician.
Who is purchasing her hunting outfits?
I love the fact that some clown advising Lynn was like “I know, let’s do a quail hunt. That will really help you relate to the red necks you have snowed. They’ll think you’re one of them.” And they end up at long leaf shooting wounded birds. And now Lynn has to eat crow instead of quail.
What a joke.
More than a few politicians have fund raising shoots
Great format for fund raising - outdoors, shotguns, fellowship and fun.
650pm
Could you elaborate more?
Sounds like good reading. Any good sources?
Only a fool would support such person!
Jeff Landry is likely going to be the next governor of Louisiana. Hmmmm....what is Lynn planning?
7:57, is it also a hunt when a person sits in an elevated deer stand with a scope mounted on a high-powered rifle on the edge of a custom-planted field complete with a timed corn feeder?
to 11;31..........if what they are hunting is a free ranging wild animal and not some pen raised knockoff in a high fence enclosure, yes ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
thats a hunt.
Are the birds mandated to be vaccinated ?
Anyone who's been on a "Canned" quail hunt knows most of the time, the birds are so tame, un used to flying that they have to be kicked up, unless you use the remote spring/sling boxes that throw them into the air. Been over 15 years since I heard a wild covey of quail. An acquaintance told me about 16 years ago there were a quite a lot of wild quail left in Oklahoma.
I remember in the 70s when the Coyotes arrived. The Weyerhaeuser logging roads didn't have gates then, most of the land wasn't leased and it was just dirt or mud roads. Weyco didn't spend money on gravel then. 1st thing I noticed was the Roads were covered with Coyote feces, full of rabbit hair. Then the wild rabbits disappeared. Eventually a few came back, but they lived near someone's house who had a dog & 1 dog isn't going to usually catch a rabbit, but will keep the coyotes away. Then the quail disappeared totally. A few Mexican? Quail were around but they would actually light in trees. Turkeys dwindled. It took probably 15 years before I saw a wild rabbit that wasn't near a house.
Now we have Deer that have been brought in by millionaires for their fenced in 1000s of acres, that have also brought in CWD in areas of MS the disease hadn't spread to. But these same millionaires have special Hunts just for the MS Game & Fish Commissioners, pay for the mounting, always an open Bar and a 3-4 star quality kitchen capable of cooking anything they desire...sometimes the Hunting preserves even have state paid Interns from the Universities to help work or breed the deer.
One employee that worked at one such preserve replied after he finished up for the day...I asked via test message...How many Deer did you breed today. He replied about 125. I told him he must be exhausted and did they also provide the Viagra...He replied...you SOB, you know what I mean.
I'm not a Fitch-Fan by any means.
I still snicker about her Syrupy "Family Values" AG Campaign ads on Supertalk.
But Hood would be doing the same thing, just not as slick.
( Hood's "zoo shoot") would be much cheaper and with no where near the extra wax and Armor All .
to 7;;;57...you don't know much about hunting ,do koi?
the plains indians routinely burned areas of the prairies to create young new growth grass that attracted deer, elk, buffalo and antelope.
a homemade food plot.
"More than a few politicians have fund raising shoots"
I challenged you earlier to name them but your radar took exception to the challenge. It's still open, JJ. You can't count shooting coconuts out of Hawaiian trees.
wow!!!!! 5:13 tells the truth and actually has some thing intelligent to say. very rare on this site .
I have had the impression for a long time that the well-connected use the Miss. Dept. of Wildlife, Fisheries & Parks to treat the resources of the state like a private club.
I'm on the outside, so I don't know any of the particulars. That's just the impression I get. It started when forested land at a state park was cleared to build a golf course in the 1990s.
This would be a bargain if you have been on the board of Canton Municipal Utilities(CMU).
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