Friday, January 25, 2019

USA Today: Mississippi is Sober

USA Today ranked the states in terms of um, drunkedness.  Fortunately or unfortunately, Mississippi ranked 46, just behind Utah, Tennessee, West Virginia, and Alabama. 

However, one must question the survey as Louisiana ranked only 17.  Read the survey results.


Anonymous said...

It's USA Today. 'nuf said.

Anonymous said...

People are so full of themselves

Anon-Drinker said...

I'll drink to that!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm - they must’ve missed by ex-wife and her family...

Anonymous said...

so how much booze is actually drunk in the higher ranked states considering how much is consumed here?

Anonymous said...

Only possible if they mistook Oxford as being in Tennessee.

Anonymous said...

Well, we live under Talibaptist sharia, so it's not all that surprising that a lot of people don't drink or at least won't admit to doing so. But we certainly have some really cool piss-stained car tags that have "In God We Trust" on them!!!

Anonymous said...

Love the link between lower drinking and worse health outcomes....fried catfish and sweet tea is worse than wine!

Louisiana is 17 only because they are burdened with the Baptists in North Louisiana!

Anonymous said...

Is there a relationship between cold weather and alcohol consumption? Looks like the residents in the drunkest states have the harshest winters and all they can do is drink.

Anonymous said...

Yet all these Cowboy-Deputies claim they need radar to catch drunk speeders?

Anonymous said...

I dont drink anything stronger than pop, and Pop will drink anything.

Anonymous said...

How do you keep a Baptist from drinking at your party?

Invite two of them.

Hiram Walker said...

I wonder how many states have dry and part-dry counties? Are we an anomaly in yet another way? And how many folks from Hatley and Amory have been killed driving across the Monroe County line for whiskey and beer?

Wiseowl said...

Who gets to determine what is excessive drinking. How does Ridgeland have more DUIs than Detriot? Had to ask?

Anonymous said... can sit down at a restaurant, order food and drinks but you can’t find a liquor store. When you get finished eating your meal in Rankin you have to see if the law is going to catch you for driving under the influence. What a backaward ass place. Scrubby looking pine trees and no liquor stores! The debul gone git you if you drink that stuff! If they can only find one of the old stills that Torrence had hid out in the woods. See ya at church!! Buuuuurrrrrpp

Anonymous said...

11:02 - That's the same way you keep a Baptist fishing buddy from drinking all the beer in the boat.

Anonymous said...

Local option laws for alcohol are dumb and should be abolished.

Can the Legislature do that?

Some of the wettest places in Mississippi are “dry” legally.

Look at Walthall County as an example. Surrounded by counties and a Louisiana parish where alcohol sales and consumption are legal. Tylertown has small-town charm but very little to offer from an economic standpoint. Its school system has poor ratings on the MDE accountability measures. The families that can afford it send their children to private schools in neighboring counties or Washington Parish.

I understand there are residents there who would love to see alcohol legal, but as I was told by one proponent, the town is too small population-wise to have just a municipal vote; it would have to be a county-wide referendum.

Anonymous said...

fat and sober

Anonymous said...

As a Catholic the best way to keep a Baptist from drinking your beer on a fishing trip is to invite another Baptist!

Anonymous said...

If Trump told them to drink,they would all be drunk.

Rod Knox said...

Not to mention Limbaugh, Coulter, Hannity, et al, @9:00PM

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel


Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS