The Silly Season begins in Mississippi's Third Congressional District. Congressmen Gregg Harper shocked the Mississippi political world when he announced he would not run for re-election last week. His decision means there will be primaries on June 5 and a general election on November 6. It is a safe bet that there will probably be a run-off in at least the Republican primary. Cellphones nearly blew up over the weekend as hopefuls called donors and campaign managers while poring over their maps. Here is a list of those who are rumored to be running or who have already announced.
*State Treasurer Lynn Fitch. She is seriously considering running. This correspondent will bet that she jumps into the race. She is a statewide officeholder and would probably be the only one in the race.
*State Senator Josh Harkins. He told JJ this morning that he will not run for this seat. There are at least two reasons why he will not run and they are both under five feet tall.
*Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest. He announced he was running last week.
*State Senator Sally Doty. She is a Republican State Senator from Brookhaven.
*State Representative Joel Bomgar. He has said for years he would like to run for Congress one day. He can self-fund a campaign. He has small children as well but he home-schools his children.
*Gerard Gibert. He is the CEO of Venture Technologies. The Street Committee says he is considering jumping into the fray. He is another candidate who could probably self-fund a campaign or defray much of the expenses with his own funds.
*Whit Hughes. The Sixth Man of the 1996 MSU Final Four team is the President and Chief Development Officer of the Baptist Health Foundation.
The district stretches from Natchez to Jackson to Columbus. It will be surprising if someone from the Meridian area does not jump into the race. There is some fear among Republicans that the appearance of a Rankin County coup might generate a backlash. This is a short race. It's not a sprint or a marathon but is more like a quarter-mile race. There is not much time to raise money so the candidates who can write their own checks might have an advantage.
Monday, January 8, 2018
The Silly Season begins
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
41 comments:
You can bet the Rankin County Republican Establishment (they know who they are) will put all of their efforts behind Golden Boy Guest.
I think Lynn Fitch would be a good choice. Would be good to break up Mississippi's long-standing Male Republican leadership in Washington. Would also be good to defeat the Rankin County Machine.
FYI: I'm a Rankin Countian. The politicos of the Rankin County Machine (aka the Good 'ole Boys Network aka I'll wash your back but we own you forever) are not liked by many in Rankin County.
I don't understand the Whit Hughes notion
When is the establishment candidate fundraiser in NE Jackson? as always. Harper was never late for a meal and his check in eastover. He's a sellout.
I talked to Bomgar this weekend. I pushed him, but he has no interest in running for Congress, and seems to be happy serving in the House. He has the money, credentials, and campaign know-how to make a serious run for it if he wanted to, though.
They may not be liked 10:38 but they certainly are effective.
Kingfish can you verify that BB or Longwitz is not jumping in?
Guest will be the establishment candidate in Rankin County and I wont be voting for him.
Doty 2018!
I know Harkins and think that he would be a good Congressman for the district, MS, and our country. His not running for that reason shows me that he has good values. Maybe he can serve us in the future.
The real question is "Who will he Barber Establishment Machine choose for us?"
Terrible analysis KF. A quarter mile race IS a sprint.
Gerald Barber is a kingmaker? Who knew?
Harper is maneuvering for an appointment if Cochran doesnt finish his term.......just sayin.
Damn, 12:10 you had to bring G. Barber up?? What a clown. I'm glad he's gone.....
10:38 if you want to break up the Male Republican leadership in Washington with Lynn Fitch, you would in fact accomplish that fact. (1) Not Male. (2) Not Republican. (3) Not leadership. But if Lynn Fitch chooses to run, will be fun to watch her financial backing promised for the AG race from Moore, Hood and buddies disappear because they have no interest in having someone in Congress. They want to continue to control the contracting process at the AG's office.
If you want to break the Male issue, Sen Sally Doty would be a good choice. For me, I don't vote based on genitals, but rather on ability. Sen Doty might get my (male and metro area) vote in this election but waiting to see the choices. I'm not voting on someone because the Rankin County Mafia - ahhh, machine - works behind the scene to try to control the system. This time, though, they were so vocal about it that it might well backfire on them.
I had forgotten that Harper was in Congress until he announced he was leaving.... Seriously, though, it was incredibly poor form by Gregg to tell Guest about his plans before breaking the news to his top staff. Gregg, that'll be my lasting memory of you.
SuperTalk can't win this one for Guest.
Bomgaars is out.
Fitch, as of now, plans to be in, but doesn't have a good reason why. She'd have a shot at making the runoff with genitalia-first voters except that....
Doty is planning to be in. It'll be interesting to see how two "I am woman, hear me vote" candidates whose biggest legislative efforts have been under the equal pay fallacy end up splitting that voting bloc.
Gibert is fooling himself. Him win the district that covers Starkville? Right.
We need some real candidates. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller???
There is no doubt Guest is the establishment candidate. He was a "guest" on the JT Show on Supertalk this morning for over thirty minutes of free advertising...
I was quite unhappy that Thad ran last time. Zero chance he would serve out his term. So the reason to run, is to allow the political power brokers to select the replacement. No surprise it looks like Harper has been chosen. In a fair election I might have voted for Harper. Depends on who else was running. But I very much despise the notion that the Republican leaders think the seat belongs to them and that they get to decide instead of the people. When Harper has to run for real, I hope a lot of good people stand up to challenge him. This type of thinking is hurting the party nationwide. It's the same thinking that Trump must be crazy because he's not in our political club. Never mind that Trump is making great strides to do exactly what he was elected to do. These folks have forgotten that they work for us and not the other way around.
Sally Doty is the only plausible choice I see above that is NOT owned by the Rankin County old boys club. She’s also got real credentials with campaign finance reform. That puts her WAY ahead of the career politicians in my book, and it will sell well in mail and ads.
1:03pm are you saying that Gregg told Michael Guest about his plans to not seek reelection before he told his staff? Really? That's bad taste on his part if true.
@1:39pm I hope you feel super FOOLISH when Gregg Harper isn't announced as Thad's replacement.
@2:15pm ... That's a HILARIOUS comment. I can't tell you how many times she has reached out to Rankin County "establishment" for money. OH and those times she attended Gregg Harper fundraiser as a friend of Harper's. Gah. You people have NO IDEA.
Has anyone looked at her finance report? $10,000 on hand and she's taken money from BUTLER SNOW, BETH CLAY, TOWER LOAN (Franc Lee anyone?)
Yeah... might want to research before you comment.
Thank you for spelling my name correctly, 2:32pm. Of course, a campaign contribution from me is hardly a distinguishing factor.
It's FRANC. Like in STANC.
1. Glad Harkins isn't running.
2. Wish Bomgar would.
3. Sally Doty would be a good alternative if Joel doesn't run.
4. Lord, please don't let do-nothing Greg wind up in Cochran's seat.
2:26, how true. These folks that think announcing their retirement is the road to either the appointment to a vacant seat that is not vacant and may not be, or the primary election for Governor obviously failed polysci 101. Why would someone give up a safe seat in the hope that they will get appointed to something that doesn't exist? Why would someone give up a safe seat to run for an office that they could run for (and raise campaign money for) while remaining in office?
Why Harper isn't running again is probably just what he said, along with what was implied. He wants to come home and make money which he can't do while in office. And the best way to do that is to play with the boys who like to think of themselves as kingmakers - so he sets it all up for Guest as the annointed one. But yes, he messed in his post toasties by playing the game without even telling his staff. That one failing should make this election much more interesting.
Gee Franc, I think @2:32 is lumping you in with the establishment.
I would tend to think Guest has inside tract, I am also curious as to why no one has wondered if Harper might not be running due to the revelation he was over the pay out fund for the sexual predators in congress.
I hope Gibert runs a self-funded campaign, spends a boatload of money and then loses; best result possible.
Fitch would be a horrific candidate to run. Glad Harper is out. I’d like to see Bomgar run or Gipson. I don’t like the idea of guest as a congressman.
Gipson is a joke with no name recognition. After HB 585 a few years ago he couldn’t get the support of law enforcement even if he begged. Plus, remember this seat is bigger than south Rankin County. It’s a large area very large area (starkpatch to Natchez) he might win Simpson county, but that would be about it.
Two words.... Mary Hawkins
I don't understand this thing about M. Guest. He's a decent prosecutor I suppose. But, how does that qualify him for congress? Look at his list of contributors over the 2014/2015 time period. Basically fifty lawyers and a couple of bail bondsmen.
Lynn Fitch? She held a State Personnel Board head job for a couple of years but accomplished nothing. Barbour slid her over into Employment Security for a short spell but she didn't even know the function of that agency. She managed (with her daddy's money) to get elected to the Treasurer job....but really? A coloring contest to advertise a dismal college savings program? But, the guys on Capitol Hill do need another over-the-hill bottle blonde to chase around.
We really need to consider a candidate who can bring jobs to the district...sorta like those brought to District 2 by Representative Thompson over the past 25 years. Wait!.........
We decry the lack of good candidates, yet we use words like Golden Boy, sellout, clown, genitalia first, horrific, joke, over the hill bottle blonde, and a host of other gratuitous personal comments - anonymously, of course - that have no place in any civil discussion. Some of us are sticklers for punishment, I guess, but is it any wonder that the kind of people we need don't want to be subjected to that?
Bill, if the decision making of potential candidates is based, or influenced, by what may, or may not, be posted anonymously on the internet then those potential candidates should resolve to remain non-candidates.
Whoever runs, the GOP primary will be about who show up “firstest with the mostest” with their love and loyalty to Trump. The slightest appearance of deviation will send the red-hats to another candidate.
Well, if a good candidate entered the race, s/he wouldn't be described in the same way as the bad ones. That's why bad candidates are described with the terms above, and good ones aren't. This is not hard.
Kingfish, Thank you for your insight on this matter. Unfortunately your readers tend to ruin your fabulous commentary with their know-it-all asinine remarks.
Mitch Tyner is talking about running for the seat. "I am seriously considering" is what he says over and over.
Doesn't Mitch Tyner "seriously consider" every seat that comes up for election? Kinda like Shawn O'Hara...
Harper will be named head of Mississippi College.
Bomgar is a terrible idea. After reading a couple of the bills he has authored, it's obvious he would be a bad choice. Someone needs to explain the whole "plain view doctrine" as established law
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