Thursday, August 17, 2017

Mayor Lumumba issues statement on Charlottesville

Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba issued the following statement. 

I am deeply saddened by the blatant display of bigotry and racism in Charlottesville, VA this past weekend. These events led by white supremacists and alt-right groups are crimes against humanity and we must do everything in our power to dismantle and disavow such hatred and oppression.

I offer condolences to the family of Heather Heyer. I commend her bravery in the face of cowardly racist aggression. Her life and the lives of others across history must not have been lost in vain.  We must vow to boldly stand against all that seeks to divide us.

The City of Jackson stands in solidarity with the city of Charlottesville in denouncing the actions of those groups who intended to intimidate that city and the nation at large. We are resilient and will not be discouraged in our continuing struggle against the evil of racism.

We stand in solidarity with efforts around the nation to rid ourselves of relics of oppression and support efforts that unite people and not divide them. We have been and remain clear in our position against images of oppression such as the Mississippi state flag and other monuments which pay homage to the oppressive history of the city of Jackson, the state of Mississippi and the country.


El Diablo Blanco said...

Come get our monuments, Baby Chok. It won't be fun.

Anonymous said...

I bet his approval rating is above 35%.

Anonymous said...

Yes, yes. The statement the world has been waiting for. Now we can move on. Or if we want to dwell on it longer, maybe he could provide a nice compare/contrast piece on the difference in beliefs between these white supremacist groups and his Kushtown Klan folks. ("They white & we black" doesn't count.)

Anonymous said...

To be expected. Anytime Nazis and self proclaimed racist revolutionaries take to
the streets there will be a tense situation. But they do have a right to talk
and even to march. However, if you are honest, and you saw what actually happened
in Virginia you realize it was not the racists who were trying to intimidate. It was actually the "anti-protesters" who sought to intimidate them. Every time these groups are confronted they will fight back. If you are not ready to be injured you might want to stay home and work for peace and reconciliation in your own way, rather than to confront these people. Remember, their goal is a race war.

Anonymous said...

My stance on these issues requires me to raise taxes in the city of Jackson.

Anonymous said...

Take it down! Confederate monuments are monuments to traitors. Yes I have Confederate ancestors.

Anonymous said...

Those who repeat the past are doomed to repeat it. Isn't that the saying? Guess some folks never learned that one.

Anonymous said...

Here's my take on all this: So maybe 0.5% of the white population participates in these groups. They cobbled together enough people to make a decent size crowd in VA. Counter-protestors gathered. Some angry young guy drove his car into a crowd, and for that, he should face the criminal law. Now we have to sing kumbaya and talk about the evils of racism for the next month or so? Is this really where this country is in the year 2017? When are we going to turn the page and try to, for example, actually do something about black poverty? I can assure that the connection between the children failing in JPS and Robert E. Lee statues is extremely weak to non-existent.

Anonymous said...

It won't stop at monuments and flags. Our next Civil War approaches. Yes, history repeats.

Anonymous said...

"We must vow to boldly stand against all that seeks to divide us"

"and support efforts that unite people and not divide them"

Says the guy that led the separatist movement to create their own Kush country. Get the Freak out of here with that bullshit!

I will hold my breath waiting on him to condemn any BLM foolishness or Antifa.
BUT, let me be clear, the Nazi ass hats in VA should be removed from society. They are stupid and embarrassing to normal white people.

Anonymous said...

Well, let's start by renaming Jackson, which was named in 1821 after Andrew Jackson, who ended up owning about 150 slaves at Hermitage in Tennessee. And he placed an ad offering a reward for a runaway slave and added that he would give $10 per 100 lashes up to 300 lashes to whoever whipped him. Sounds like he qualifies for having his name erased. Let's don't be two-faced, let's go all in. Rename Jackson.

Anonymous said...

Removed from society? How?

Anonymous said...

This was sadly predictable and booorrrrring! I want to hear from Priester and how he incorporates his Harvard Yard talk with folksy Jackson vernacular. Bring it, Mel!!!

Anonymous said...

One group went by the law. They got the permits necessary.
Other groups decided to bypass the law. They attacked the legal group.
Now people are defending those who broke the law.

One group is just agreeing with our government. Our government has decided not all people are equal. They have passed laws putting one group above all others just because of their skin color.
If our own government thinks all people are not equal there should be no problem with people who agree with them.

If people are truly equal and if our government wants people to accept that they should do away with affirmative action immediately.
As long as the U.S. government does not think all people are equal why should the citizens?

Anonymous said...

Why are the white protesters the only HATE GROUPS? Why wasn't black lives matter condemned as a HATE GROUP? And I'm not support the white supremacists. But if the counter-protesters had given them their right to free speech, none of the violence would have happened. Why aren't we bashing the counter-protesters for inciting the violence? The white supremacists weren't there burning down businesses, destroying cars, and vandalizing everything in site. Again - not supporting their viewpoint, but the reality is that they had a permit to gather. The others "invaded" and are responsible for the outdcome.

Anonymous said...

Yup 9:10 -- my guess, the black middle class UPS driver, or the black woman who owns a florist business (etc. etc.) could care less what his stance is, because they are making a living, moving their family up and having a better life than their parents. Whites are not their enemies but people who pay their bills and support their jobs by using their services, work just like them, pay taxes, etc.

This is a ploy for the black lower class who is dependent on government support and his voting base, and the rabid successful blacks in Jackson who want their own identity in the new "civil rights" movement (aka BLM). They want to be able to tell their grandchildren, as they sit in their plush offices, having gone to ANY university they chose to attend, buying a house anywhere they want to live, and having no issues competing for jobs in any tough it was back in the battle of 2017 when all the racist kept them down with those silly statues. But they broke that barrier and made the world safer for all minorities!!

My second guess as we all know is this is Baby Chok's attempt at national recognition because his ambitions are not Jackson mayor -- but well beyond that in the heady world of Black politics. They're looking for new talent and he's on the black national political equivalent of Dancing with the Stars and is attempting to get his scores up. Watch out Bennie!!!

Kind of makes you feel badly for their grandparents who really had issues like separate drinking fountains, etc. Things like this really dumb down the real issues they dealt with.....This generation is just a bunch of wannabes looking for a cause they can use to affirm themselves. Maybe if they focused more on kids who cannot read in a district where enrollment is majority black, or learning math so they can balance a budget and understand you cannot spend more than you take in and must have priorities like infrastructure, etc.........we'd have a little more respect.

Right now -- I hear the moving trucks in NE Jackson and see the few businesses left in Jackson, calling commercial realtors for space outside the city. Guess they're tone deaf downtown, but as fellow travelers and comrades in a world where some are more equal in Jackson than others, they are affirmed in their self righteousness -- at least amongst each other, as they lunch together today. Foie gras anyone?? Duck or goose?

Anonymous said...

Do they not see that taking this stuff down is doing more harm than good? When you have 20 somethings showing up with tiki torches, swastikas, and screaming heil hitler---- you quit giving them the impetus to protest.

All of this stuff over inaminate objects---they're just looking for reasons. Make their "cause" harder by doing absolutely nothing. This boils down to a propaganda war and 'the left' needs to learn how to play the game by taking the path of least resistance.

Anonymous said...

Anybody familiar with Nazi Book burnings? Sound familiar??

"The Nazi book burnings were a campaign conducted by the German Student Union (the "DSt") to ceremonially burn books in Nazi Germany and Austria in the 1930s. The books targeted for burning were those viewed as being subversive or as representing ideologies opposed to Nazism."

Seems as if the true Nazis appear to be those proclaiming their hatred of whites....and all they represent historically. Nothing like a violent pacifist.

Anonymous said...

Nice speech. Now, back to the potholes/sinkholes, dirty brown water, businesses fleeing, high crime rate, senseless murders, dilapidated houses, no real tax base generating revenue, outrageous water bills, and you know...I could really do this ALL DAY long but my break is over and I got to get back to work.

Anonymous said...

10:38 - Yep and pay those taxes!!

As a follow on for the Angry Social Activist Lunch crowd -- goose foie gras and please boil my water before you bring it to the table. In addition, since we all are equal, I do not plan on leaving a tip, except for put your money on Baby C for BLM-DWTS-PC version, as I go back to my annual $150k+ job downtown, watching out for you poor slobs, and attempting to get your minimum wage increased.........which I hope doesn't happen because that will take one of my social engineering agendas off the table and I might have to take a pay cut, find a real job and I basically ....... have no skills except anger and constant victimology. Hurry up with my lunch!!!!

Like you 10:38, at this point - my breaks over - Let me get back to the grind so I can send in my money, keep my mouth shut, be used as the whipping boy, and ensure that those lunches are paid for so no one goes hungry downtown working in those plush offices.

Can we all say -- IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT -- in reverse???? Call me MR. WHITE TIBBS!! "Baby C, . . you take care, . . you hear."

Anonymous said...

There is no 'but' argument you can make for the neo-Nazis. It's one of the few things that everyone should condemn. Pastors from First Presbyterian to Fondren Presbyterian (as theologically different as you can get) agree on what happened in Virginia last weekend.

Anonymous said...

Geesh, you people are so ungrateful. By taking down your precious monuments, you get to embark on a second Civil War, only this time sans the stuffy grey outfits and Shelby Foote's cheering from the sidelines. Onward, my Southern Brethren!!

Anonymous said...

You know Democrats around the country have changed the name of their traditional "Jefferson-Jackson Day" dinners because the two of them owned slaves, right?

I'll bet you a quarter the statue of Andrew Jackson at city hall is gone before year's end, and there will be an attempt to change the name of the city.


Anonymous said...

What is a normal white person---I don't know what normal is---is it, well what is it---tell me. I'm white and know very little about what I'm suppose to be---I'm me and I like who I am. I raised and educated 5 children, I've owned my business for 52 years and most of all I have an incredible wife who has stood by me through thick and thin. I went to Jackson public schools (Murrah) and the blacks have had the same opportunity I had. I have several black friends---we don't socialize but I know that if I were in trouble they would stand by me to the end. Let's quit fighting each other---our real enemy is our own elected officials---drain the swamp !!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yep, 9:30 got there before I could.

Anonymous said...

also better give up drinking cocoa cola because
It is really quite simple, John Stith Pemberton, a Confederate Lieutenant Colonel, served in the defense of Columbia, Georgia, during the Battle of Columbus. During this battle, he received a nasty saber wound on his chest. This wound led to a morphine addiction. In an effort to create a 'cure' for his addiction, Pemberton formulated an early version of Coca-Cola, "Pemberton's French Wine Coca." Later on he used this formula to develop the very first Coca-Cola...

So, without the Civil War, the Battle of Columbus would not have happened. If the Battle of Columbus hadn't happened, John Pemberton would not have been injured. If he had not been injured, he would not have gotten addicted to morphine. Without an addiction, he would not have searched for a cure, and if he had not been searching for a cure, we would never have gotten Coke!

Anonymous said...

You racist defenders can say and believe anything that makes you feel better, but the fact is no one ever asked any black people how they felt about these statues before they were constructed in public areas. Who puts up a statue of a person who is advocating to divide the USA into two countries anyway? I work and pay taxes just like white people, and I have no desire to sit in a public park looking up at the image of a person who fought for the right to own black people to work for white men with no pay, to raise white people's children, to cook white people's food, to be raped by white men with no consequence, and to be afraid to say or do anything to piss off any white person for fear of being beat to a pulp with a whip or hung from a tree. I don't understand how any Christian white person would feel that these statues should be tolerated and accepted.

Also, I have read over and over again where some white people accuse some black people of being racist. If a black person is racist, how does that really affect a white person? History has shown us that if a white person is racist, it can affect a black person's economic standing by being denied a job. It can affect a black person's living condition by being denied the opportunity to buy a house in a certain area. It can affect a black person's education by being denied the right to enter a college of their choice. Racism is about power and who has the leverage to wield the power. Very few black people have enough power to affect white privilege.

In the words of Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

Anonymous said...

How does "White Privilege" compare to "Black Power" in a game of Rock, Paper and Scissors? We MUST discuss!

Anonymous said...

12:03 - The sad truth is that under your definition, both groups are racist, but only the group holding the power of the majority can be considered racist.

History shows that blacks and whites both practice discrimination against the other when in control of the majority.

Anonymous said...

12:03, really glad I moved from Jackson to another state 3 years ago. The City is now your to do with what you want.

Anonymous said...

1. How does it really affect a white person? You must not live in Jackson and you are not white. You'd be surprised.
2. When was the last time you were owned, forced to work with no pay, cook white people's meals, rear their children, or be raped?
3. Economic impact? My guess is you just got back from lunch and are sitting on the 14th floor of a downtown building, or you are a state or federal employee....maybe even a city employee whose full time job is to carry water for Baby C.
4. When was the last time you couldn't buy a home because of your skin color?
5. When was the last time you were denied access to college or any educational institution because of your skin color?
6. "People who have the power and leverage to use it" -- Again refer to #1.
7. White privilege .... like the other terms -- just doesn't matter anymore. Sounds trite and juvenile.

Hate to tell you ain't 1952, and I'm sure you got to sit at the lunch counter today.

Most whites are not racist, nor are they spending every day trying to keep the black man (or woman) down. No one I know defends Neo-Nazis, agrees with them, or would support them.

I would worry less about the color of your skin, and more about being thin skinned.

Also, In the words of Forest Gump, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Anonymous said...

These folks who want to tear down monuments are such an arrogant, morally superior group. Robert E. Lee had the highest grade point average ever given at West Point. He had no demerits as a student there. He was offered command of the union army. His father was a hero of the revolutionary war. His mother was descended for George Washington. The objection to him is slavery. When he lived 50% of Americans believed in slavery. If he had been born in 1960 what is the chance he would have been pro slavery? How many babies born to prominent Virginia families in 1960 are pro slavery? Many of the folks who want to tear down statues are pro abortion. Had they lived in 1860 both north and south would have been outraged at their morals. They could have been tried for murder for killing an unborn child. Many are for gay marriage. Another huge sin in 1860. So they tell themselves how evil a pro slavery person was 150 years ago with no thought about how evil they would seem to the people of 1860. Historical people must be judged in the time in which they lived. Failure to do that is folly.

Anonymous said...

How was I able to predict that y'all would be defending the Nazi's on this comment thread? Any takers?

These statues were erected to honor men who committed treason and took up arms against the United States. They are about as American as the neo-nazi's who took to the streets in Charlottesville to protest their removal.

The groups that showed up in Charlottesville were bearing torches and chanting "the Jews will not replace us" and "blood and soil." Make no mistake about it, they were the ones looking for a fight. Would you feel safe in Charlottesville if you were Jewish or black with those guys around? How would you react if outsiders were making you feel unsafe (and with good reason) in your hometown?

Then, (unsurprisingly) one of the members rammed his car into a group of Charlottesville residents, who were marching in their own streets, supporting the decision of their municipal government to remove a statue in their town, and were protesting an influx of violent outsiders who came to tell them how to run their town. One person is dead; nineteen are injured. I'm sure the killer thought the casualties deserved it because they were "libtards."

These people are disgusting - all of them. I support the mayor's response to what happened in Charlottesville. I only wish our governor would grow a spine and follow suit.

Anonymous said...

Funny, I couldn't tell a "good" guy from a "bad" guy in Charlottesville.

Anonymous said...

Today I wore my Gettysburg Souvenir hat to the McDonald's in Madison. When the old geezers who sit in the corner saw it they began to whisper. One even got up and sat in another seat so his back was to me. As long as they and their ilk are around you will have racism. So don't give me this bull about we don't live in the 50's.Look are around they are you fathers, uncles and brothers who still wish it was the 1850s and actually wish they could force me to pick their cotton...

Anonymous said...

Didn't the Confederacy lose ? Where else do losers get to get statues honoring them?
There are no statues of Hitler in Germany or any of the disposed despots in Africa, history hasn't forgotten.

Anonymous said...

There was 1 person killed over the weekend in Charlottesville. I have read many places that it was 3. A helicopter crash doesn't count. The people that were there chose to be for what ever reason. I don't get the outrage. However, 9 people were killed and 30 were shot in Chicago over the weekend and there is NO mention anywhere about this. Wednesday there were 3 killed and 8 shot in Chicago. Why don't the bleeding heart liberals cry about this and really do some good instead of worrying about something they know nothing about. Ask anyone of these protesters about the history of these statues and they will not be able to answer.

Anonymous said...

Well said 1:22. If 50% of the protesters would try to be 1/2 the man Lee was this country would be 100% better.

Anonymous said...

1:45 -- did anyone stop you from eating at McDonald's?

Did you get to sit at the "lunch counter"?

I'd be pretty careful about monitoring other people's thoughts and telling them what they can think, say, do or feel --- because it might come back to bite you. You are opening up a Pandora's Box.

Also -- don't know any of the old "geezers" at the Madison McDonalds who own cotton plantations. Stop stereotyping.

Anonymous said...

I would suggest that rather than take down the monuments here in Mississippi, that additional historical markers be place explaining the circumstances that brought on the war. If it's to a particular person such as Jackson,his personal history should be included. Let the good, bad and ugly be known..

Anonymous said...

Look at all of the people killed in the city of Jackson. Look at who is doing the killing and who is being killed. The KKK have not been killing people in Jackson. Neither has the alt right or even the white supremacists.
Why is there nothing being said when young children are being killed while in their own home or when riding in a car?

Anonymous said...

Wow, I am pretty sure everyone thinks Cohen is crazy for filing impeachment papers, but wait until they here what Corker said, "The President has not yet been able to demonstrate the stability nor some of the competence that he needs to be successful."

Anonymous said...

Don't forget Bannon basically said he was bluffing about bombing North Korea......

Anonymous said...

I just wish I could go some place and get away from all of this crap. Maybe I will just go to the farm and seclude myself for the rest of my days. That sounds better all the time.

Anonymous said...

We won't miss you 4:10.

Anonymous said...

I bet a lot of Trump supporters wish they could go into seclusion at the farm.

Anonymous said...

So the black nationalist doesn't like the white nationalist.

Bout sums up our situation here.

Anonymous said...

12:03 How does it affect a white person if a black person is racist? This assumes that black people have no power at all. They have the same vote as everyone else and they are free to vote for someone only because they a black if they wish. But if you vote for a fool only because their skin color you hurt everyone. It's not hard to find black run cities in decay that were once thriving cites with low crime and good schools. I am not saying you should vote against a person for being black. I am saying you should vote for the best person. And when you are racists about it it hurts all races, but mostly it hurts your own children and grand children. If you poison your children's minds by allowing them to blame their failures on race you hurt all of us. If you give them this crutch they will use it and not learn to be honest with themselves about their own failures. If you think for one second that because you are black it's OK to be racist. Because you are mistreated. You deserve to be racist if you wish - you are very much mistaken.
If you will research a number of blacks who are successful in life - say 50 to 100 people, I believe you will find that very few of them allow themselves to be racist.

Anonymous said...

Geez...what is it about coming to a protest with side arms and shields and helmets you guys don't understand?
What is it that the police and leaders of the community who were there said that you don't understand?
What is it that the leadership of the Neo-Nazis and KKK said that you don't understand?

They had a permit but they didn't come looking to peacefully protest. They came looking for trouble into a community that damn well ought to be allowed to make it's own decisions.

And, if you think trying to mow down someone with a car and vandalism are morally equivalent, you need you head examined.

Anyone who kills someone else with malice of forethought and not in self-defense because they fear their life is in jeopardy is a murderer and if they run down strangers doing nothing to them but who simply disagree politically or religiously , they are a terrorist. Get it?

Show me the film of antifa outsiders initiating attacks in Charlottesville. They do bring pepper spray and bats to defend themselves and I think they lose the moral high ground in doing so. They should be arrested and charged anytime they assault someone other than in self-defense. But, those who are from the community don't need a permit to tell vistors who are protesting that they are unwelcomed.

It's a town's business how they handle things and their citizens can vote those with whom they disagree out of office. And, here's the bad news, if the majority of you fellow citizens disagree and you can't handle it, MOVE! Find a town you like and mind your own business!

Kingfish said...

Let me see, Dallas, Baton Rouge, the attempted massacre of Congressmen playing baseball.

The nuts on both sides are getting out of control.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Mayor, if the council votes to remove statutes , etc., I hope you will offer them to museums, historical sites, or cemeteries for removal costs.
I would point out that Lincoln's museum in Springfield and the Holocaust Museum in D.C. do not ignore the images or words of Confederates or Nazis respectively.
Indeed, it was very informative to me when I visited both places to see ,read and hear the kinds of rhetoric that led to such bloody disaster. And, it was also a lesson that , in some cases, very good men can make horrible decisions. For some, it spoke to bad character, for others, they acknowledged their bad decisions and tried to atone. But, the bottom line for me was that I should put humans on a pedestal ( literally or figuratively) but choose leaders based on deeds more than words and that words should appeal to " my better angels" and not to my self-interest.

Anonymous said...

KF, I was limiting myself to Charlottesville and we both didn't mention Charleston. I didn't hear anyone suggesting the violence in those places was anything other than unacceptable. They didn't try to justify the actions of the murder beyond suggesting that hateful, inflammatory rhetoric is playing a part in what we see.

I agree that such rhetoric inflames the violently mentally ill to act and that those in leadership should avoid such rhetoric.

Your commenters are trying to suggest that the provocations were the same. I didn't see obviously armed and helmeted people with shields other than law enforcement trying to keep the peace in the locations you mentioned or hear racists rhetoric even close to the same level as we saw in Charlottesville by the Neo-Nazis.

Do watch the VICE films of interviews with these white supremacists leaders. These folks want a race war.

And, I would suggest we use to understand that there are limits on " free speech". It's not just slander and libel ( laws that we mistakenly weakened way too much IMHO) but it's the " yelling fire in a theatre" as well.

Those white supremacist were deliberately inciting violence and they knew it just a someone who yells fire in a crowd when there isn't a fire, knows that mayhem will follow and people will be hurt.

And, no one has mention that our President adds fuel to the fire by repeating a myth from WWI about Pershing that was created by those who were our enemies?

Our political leaders need to disvow the crazy, hateful, extremists in their own base, not cater to them! They need to call BS on the fake stories these extremists tell as well. NO political leader and NO honorable person should feed lies or excuse lies.

Anonymous said...

If you're still asleep look at Illuminati Card #223 printed way before Charlottesville yet the side by side pics are uncannily similar if not identical

Anonymous said...

Classic George Soros "Order out of Chaos" plan and it's working perfectly wherever he throws his $.Jackson and Columbus DA's races were funded mostly by a Soros' Open Societies Foundation. What did we think would happen??? Look at all of his other "color" revolutions around the world...he goes around pitting 1 against the other to divide us with our differences.Do you know he says that one of his happiest times was when he went around with his Nazi godfather to other Jew's homes to strip them of their possessions before watching many of his fellow neighbor Jews be marched off to death camps! Stop everybody and don't be fooled into blowing up our own community!!!

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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