Sunday, January 10, 2016
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
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- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
30 comments:
Knewt Knight was known for his hatred of the North and the South. He also was pro Interracial marriages. I happen to know one of his distant relatives and the family was, and to this day is not fond of him for that reason.
Stone County did not send any soldiers to the Confederacy. As many of you who have lineage, we are the Deep South and States Rights was very important as it still is. Paint it any way you want and hate what I say, but a lot of us here in Mississippi have strong ties to the Confederacy.
The very phrase 'Free State of Jones' has forever been misleading. It's a popular guffaw topic of introduction in the State Legislature. Would be politicians as well as seasoned ones think the phrase is cute while having no damned idea what it referred to.
Most airheads think it means a bunch of tough citizens who bucked city hall or government in general and did what they wanted to while embracing family values and personal rights.
The Free State Of Jones consisted of less than a thousand men who were too chicken shit to engage with their neighbors in resisting federal control and encroachment. Many of them sat on their hands during Lincoln's Unnecessary War and were in rocking chairs on their porches waving symbolic white flags and handing out cups of rum to invading troops.
@ Deo Vindice that is utter bullshit. Go read a history book about the free state. If you can read anything not written by David Duke, Ross Barnett, or George Wallace.
Perhaps you will correct Deo, 5:28. What is your counter? Well, other than calling bullshit.
The post at 2:06 is fairly accurate. During the War, both Jones and Covington Counties became places of sanctuary for Confederate deserters. The people in Jones who voted to oppose secession, based on their awkward understand of events of that day, obviously had no true Southern allegiance. The term chicken-shit is pretty accurate. They wanted all the benefits of Southern affluence (of the day) but wanted no part in its defense.
@ 5:51, you are correct and that's why Jefferson Davis Count and Forrest County was formed
5:51 - reading you and 2:06's comments I felt that you were pretty accurate. Then I realized you were talking about how they were in the 1860's. Thought you were describing the white folks of the county today.
Guess it would have been correct for either era. Nevermind.
When it came time to vote on Secession, most plantation owners were opposed to it. They were smart enough to know that it would likely lead to war which would put their investment at risk. The counties with the most affluent slave owners voted against secession, while the pineywoods counties like Jones County were riled up and voted to secede. Once the war started, many men served in the army, but others in Jones County quickly came to the conclusion that there this was not their war and bowed out. There was never any organized insurrection as shown in the movie. There were no recorded incidences of Blacks supporting Knight's activities as was added by Hollywood to be PC and "inclusive". The movie is fiction except for the basic fact that Knight was a Confederate deserter and had some skirmishes with the authorities.
A friend of mine is a historian who had an ancestor who lived in Jones County who avoided military service by dressing as a woman whenever the authorities were in the area.
Wow. Some real Mississippi Confederacy Historians around here. My Great Grandfather was from Jones County MS. Enlisted in the CSA. Walked home to Jones County from the hospital in Raymond after being wounded at Vicksburg, only to find his wife had died while he was away and his one slave, a female, who had her own living quarters, had kept his small farm producing just enough to keep his children alive. The majority of the people of Jones County MS didn't have a pot to piss in. "handing out rum to union soldiers"? that's absolutely laughable. These people owed no allegiance to anyone. Show me the vast cotton fields in Jones County. There are none. Maybe that's why it's called the Piney Woods.
But if you want to get all riled up and claim Newts bunch was a bunch of cowards and deserters, why not start with Newts Roster and one of his men....Ausberry McDaniel......nah, couldn't be.
My kin are from Stone county....lots of towns named after their first names....there are no family tales of valiant service during this time. Most of the people in this area fled to the swamps and tried to subsist by living on rivers and in trees. The only reason they were not slaves is because they were white. They had absolutely nothing to gain by fighting in the war and everything to lose by doing so. It made perfect sense to abstain. Now, I doubt seriously that anyone of them would have lifted a finger to help a slave do anything. This is the silliest trailer I have ever seen.
Apparently some of you Jones-Apologists think 'that war' was about slavery. Never mind that the war and secession were two different things. That the Mississippi Articles of Secession states slavery as a basis for that action, that has nothing to do with the fact that Lincoln forced federal troops into Confederate land, thus starting his war.
People on neither side voted to go to war, although some had voted for or against secession. Or their elected representatives had.
'Nothing to be gained'? Are you kidding yourself. The very economy and survival of the Southern United States were to be gained by opposing federal over-reach. The only way for The South to have survived was to secede. At that point, visions of imminent war were not abundant. It was thought that two separate countries, The Union and The Confederacy, could co-exist.
Lincoln would have none of that. Slavery aside. Slavery was ancillary to Lincoln's War and his claims of freeing the slaves was a damned lie.
But back to Jones. Those who opposed secession scurried into ditches and various rat-holes (or dressed as women) to keep from having to fight for the region's legacy and future. Did they really think they could exist as an island within a microcosm? Apparently.
Nothing to be gained correct.
Owned no slaves.
Dying to keep chattel of others not in their interests.
States rights? They didnt care about a state or a union.
They lived to survive not worry about this.
Captain William: Deflect as you please. The fact remains that Mississippi's elected officials voted, in sufficient number, to secede and secede we did. We don't really have a definitive way of knowing the mindset of various 'plantation owners' over 155 years ago. And the writers of 'historical accounts' could surely not have gotten it wrong, intentionally nor accidentally.
I suspect many from Jones were akin to those of today who say "If he wins election, I'm moving to Australia". "And if called to serve, I shall put on a dress." Notice I said 'many'.
I get the feeling states rights are the concerns of landowners & modern keyboard commandos.
So, the commie, liberal, red-baby-diaper bunch can discount the reality of states' rights and automatically defer to slavery and the notion of herding chattel as the reason for the reasoning of two hundred thousand people over 150 years ago. What an ability these children have. But, never mind having a sound basis for your thoughts. Nobody among your peers will ever question your thoughts. It's only when you venture out onto a public blog-site that you expose yourself as a nincompoop (with emphasis on poop).
Couple of young ladies from Brandon are in the film. The Flowers kids will be the daughters. Their brother has been in several movies and commercials. He currently is playing Payton Manning in ping pong on the Nationwide commercial.
Well, alright, alright, alright... All you "historians" are missing the point: It's a Matthew F@#$!&g McConaughey movie!!!
Yes, Carsen and Camden Flowers from Brandon are in the film. They are in this trailer as 2 of the daughters.
I love it when you guys call it "Lincoln's War".
Sock Puppets out in full force on this one KF.
Besides Lincoln (who started the damned thing), whose war was it?
I can't believe that over 150 years after the traitorous rebellion against our Union, these mouth-breathers still cannot come to grips with the reality that their ancestors went to war to defend the institution of slavery in the southern states.
2:04 Sore Losers are like that.
2:04 - have you ever met Jones County's top boy - Chrissy McDaniel? He's still wanting to fight the war as long as its against any federal intrusion, actions, or activities that might affect his personal lifestyle.
2:04 & 2:18
"You lose the battle but win the war"... ain't so.
Oh yeah, it was absolutely about states rights, the right of a state to attempt to the maintain a completely unsustainable economy based entirely on the engine of slave labor. Say secession had been a success. Just how long do you think others would continue to do business with the Confederacy based upon that fact alone? As Sherman warned before it even began, "you can't even make shoe leather." No chance whatsoever of victory against an industrial society that fought the war with one hand behind it's back. And egads. Romanticism about war. War. A war we still haven't recovered from. "Oh, them Federals was evil they destroyed our crops and our homes!" Because that's how you win a war. That's what war is. To quote what is no doubt a beloved film for most of you, "You called down the thunder and now you've got it!"
All that said, secession would probably go down easily today, in a "don't let the door hit you" kind of way. Prosperous states have to be sick to death of subsidising our asses. Oh, but we'd totally make it, with our largely retail economy and all the southern sweethearts that are convinced that they'll be the ones to finally make a successful go of a consignment shop. I suppose more Chinese industry might come here, with our aversion to unions and perfect willingness to pay "thugs" no more than we absolutely have to, but probably not. They seem to be doing pretty darn well with their status quo.
So, reactionaries and Lost Causers, please, please go en masse to sparsely populated places like the Dakota's where there's a great need for workers, higher education rarely required, you'll have hell of better chance at work and decent wages than you will here, and you'll be far enough away so we don't have be subjected nearly as much to your misinformation, spreading of meme "news" and "facts" you see and digest from Facebook, and apparent lack of critical thinking ability. Might be able to have your own little enclave, may even be a ranger station or two to squat in, saving your rent money to buy $300 ice chests and other such nonsense. I think the "thug" population is pretty low up there too, so there's another plus for you.
Were I in a more puckish mood, I'd go ahead and write your responses to this for you.
Utter lack of knowledge and dismissal of history resides comfortably at 2:04 and 2:18. Sadly, they think they can convince others. Instead of sitting at an outdoor table in Fondren, at least go sit at Barnes and Noble and pick up a book.
France and England would have traded with the South all day long as they had before. Keep in mind the northern industrialists wanted to impose high tariffs. They didn't like competition as seen after the war when they jacked up the railroad freight rates to keep Southern industries from developing.
However, you are correct about the larger threat to the South. It has been played out throughout history. The north becomes more industrialized and the South falls further behind. Germany and England enjoyed tremendous advantages over the rest of Europe because they industrialized on a wide scale. Rome had civil wars because of the commercial class and the landed aristocracy couldn't share power.
Then there is the matter of population. What would the South have done when a third or more of its population was black?
@12:02
Lincoln wanted to send them to Belize, so that's a possibility. Alas, the north decided it was a punishment to the Southern people to leave them in the South.
no thanks.
it's a total farce of a movie.
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