Tuesday, January 26, 2016

JPD conducting a citizens academy

JPD issued the following press release:

Jackson Police Department Accepting Applications for Citizens’ Police Academy

The Jackson Police Department’s next Citizens’ Police Academy is scheduled for Monday, March 14, 2016. The mission of the Citizens’ Police Academy is to educate and inform the community; to provide a forum for police and community interaction; to identify community problems, needs and concerns; and to foster a partnership with the community and the Department in working toward creating a safer community.

In each session, a qualified instructor will explain how each division of the Jackson Police Department operates. The weeklong event includes a tour of the Public Safety Communications Center, an overview of the Community Relations/Crisis Intervention Unit, a S.W.A.T and Bomb Squad exhibition, and Driving and Firearms Simulator training.

This Academy is conducted from 6 p.m. until 8 p.m., Monday through Friday, and Saturday from 9 a.m. until 11:30 a.m., at the Police Firing Range for the SWAT /Bomb presentation and firearm instruction.

For information and registration, please call our Office of Community Relations at 601.960.1389 or e-mail Renee Walker at rwalker@jacksonms.gov.


Anonymous said...

Lesson 1: Run in a serpentine fashion.
Lesson 2: Safe Rooms: a Good Investment
Lesson 3: Domestic Violence: A Career Killer
Lesson 4: Outside Po-Po is a No-No
Lesson 5: Bottled Water-Not Just for Mexico
Lesson 6: Airport Investments: A Primer for Personal Growth
Lesson 7: Rush Hour Hijacking: What to Do
Lesson 8: Rush Hour Drive Bys: Review of Lesson 1
Lesson 9: Multiple Murders: Myths and Misconceptions
Lesson 10: How to Find a Realtor in Madison or Rankin County

Anonymous said...

As a graduate of this "Academy", I highly recommend it. Informative & Enjoyable.

exjxnres said...

For 10:35.....NAILED IT....!!!

Anonymous said...

10:35, you forgot another important lesson, "Protection Schemes: Making Crime Pay for You."

Anonymous said...

Thanks KF and 10:36. Great that they offer this. Some of you naysayers should give it a try. Would give you some insight and perspective and make you a good citizen.

Anonymous said...

I am getting too old to run in a serpentine fashion.
My answer to crime is to shoot them when they try to commit a crime.

Anonymous said...


'...and make you a good citizen.'
Well, I already am one, and don't want to spend a week after work attending show & tell bull about how great and professional they are, while ignoring the obvious.. 10:35 summed it up nicely. Pass.

Anonymous said...

Glad you're a good citizen. Insight and positive energy will do wonders for you. Maybe you won't be so tired after work.

Da Fat Man said...

@10:35 Please give the Jackson bashing a rest. At least they are trying to make a difference. All people do on this blog is complain about how bad Jackson is, well why don't you stay here and try to help improve things instead of running away.

Anonymous said...

3:51 - for my money I'm glad these folks that think they are "a good citizen" are gone and hope they stay away. I just wish they would STFU. If they ever had an original thought it might be ok to put up with their crap, but to read the same bash over and over does nothing

Anonymous said...

It does something. It tells you that quite a few people know what is going on in Jackson.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS