Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Election night thread. I42 going down? Banks lost???

Update: Karl Banks is down by 18 votes.... and there are supposedly well over 150 ballots to count. This will be fun to watch.

We will live-blog away here starting around 7:45 or so. Feel free to go ahead and comment about elections on this post.

Governor by 20
Leftenant Governor by 18
Secretary of State by 25
Auditor by 22
Commish by 30 over Da Hat.
Oh yes, almost forgot. AG's race. Jim Hood by 15.

Dick Hall by 13
Hmmm.... Cecil or Brent. I feel like Lee Corso.... Cecil by 2.

Rankin County Chancellor: Runoff for Grant and Roberts
Rankin-Madison Circuit Judge: Runoff for Ratcliff and Miller

Victor Mason beats Tannehill by 16
Mike Morgan, Jimmy Morton, and Jon Lewis win their races.

I42? This is the tough one.  This morning I thought I42 would win.  I don't think the Republicans took it that seriously and too many thought their parlor tricks would save the day.  Then there was the race-baiting up north.  Then I actually saw the ballot when I voted today.  Prediction: I42 narrowly loses.

Ok, here we go.

1% of precincts are reporting. Gray is down by only 62 votes to the Governor. Can he do it? Can he pull off the upset? Stay tuned.

 Int. 42 2 Precincts Approval 396 61% Against 258 39% (Statewatch)

8:00 PM
Madison Co. District 4: Banks  37-17 over Bishop. 1 precinct.
Jolly over Griffin  55-31. 1 precinct.

Circuit Judge (Madison County): Ratcliff 82, Chris Walker 24, Miller 10, Wolf 5

8:05 PM

Madison County,
Ratcliff 203 (41%), Chris Walker  122 (25%), Miller 123 (25%), WOlf 28 (8%); 3 boxes

District 4: Banks 628 (94%), Bishop 43 (6%) Ouch. 3 boxes
District 5: Jolly 55 (64%), Griffin 31 (36%), 1 box.

8:18 PM.

5% are in on the Governor's race.
Phil Bryant (R) 10,728 65%
Robert Gray (D) 5,498 33%
Shawn O'Hara (RP) 238 1%

Tate Reeves (R) 9,260 59%
Tim Johnson (D) 5,933 37%

Delbert Hosemann (R) 9,024 59%
Charles Graham (D) 5,784 38%

Jim Hood (D) 9,131 59%
Mike Hurst (R) 6,372 41%
Hood is kicking Hurt's butt when the other Republicans are winning by around 20 points. Its going to be a long night for the former Assistant U.S. Attorney.

8:25 PM

10% of precincts in Hinds counted. 4,980 votes. 12 precincts of 112.

Victor P. Mason (DEM) . . . . . . 3,466 71.95
Charlette Stewart Oswalt (REP) . . . 555 11.52
Les Tannehill (IND) . . . . . . . 701 14.55
Reginald Thompson (IND). . . . . . 88 1.83
WRITE-IN. . . . . . . . . . . 7 .15


FOR APPROVAL OF EITHER Initiative . . 3,057 66.51
AGAINST BOTH Initiative Measure No . . 1,539 33.49

FOR Initiative Measure No. 42. . . . 2,960 73.83
FOR Alternative Measure No. 42 A. . . 1,049 26.17

8:30. Back to Madison.

Circuit Judge.
Ratcliffe 502 (40%), Chris Walker 349 (28%), Miller 284 (23%), Wolf 104 (8%), 8/61 precincts

District 4 Supervisor: Banks 1,116 (91%), Bishop 114 (9%), 6/21 boxes
District 5 Supervisors: Jolly 297 (55%), Griffin 241 (45%), 3/14 boxes

This number probably means I42 is going to win going away.
For 42: 1,314 (83%)
For 42A: 276 (17%)
8/61 boxes.

AP & Everyone else is calling races for  Phil, Tate, Cindy, Gibbert, and Stacey.


Ohio votes down weed.  Mississippi could've had a monopoly east of Colorado.

 Back to Madison.

Ratcliff: 1,654 (51%), Chris Walker 861 (27%), Miller 501 (15%), Wolf 202 (6%)
Banks 1,178 (75%), Bishopo 384 (25%). 8/21.  Bet Steen feels stupid.
Griffin 558 (61%), Jolly 363 (39%). Race is over . 4/14.


Hinds County.  32/112 precincts are counted.

Victor Mason is kicking butt and taking names.
Victor P. Mason (DEM) . . . . . . 8,409 76.81
Charlette Stewart Oswalt (REP) . . . 922 8.42
 Les Tannehill (IND) . . . . . . . 1,262 11.53
 Reginald Thompson (IND). . . . . . 343 3.13

UH-OH.  Jermel Clark is winning. That idiot will be back at the election commission. He is a walking charlie foxtrot. A real oxygen thief.


Jim Hood (i) 72276 55%
Mike Hurst 58801 45%

Against 54009 53
Approval 47605 47

42 45,809 58%
42A 33,567 42%

23% of the vote is in on 42 so this one can easily go either way.


Dick Hall (i) 11,499 54%
Mary Coleman 9,869 46%

16% of the vote is counted but expect Dick to win. How is the PSC Central race doing?

Cecil Brown 11,568 54%
Brent Bailey 9,414 44%

Brent can still win the race but he suffered from a lack of name ID and more than a few GOP leaders did not like his stance on Kemper.

Against 75,900 53%
Approval 66,033 47%
29% of the vote is counted. Long way to go.


Hinds County. 40% of the vote is counted.  Victor is clobbering the rest of the field.

 Victor Newman (DEM) . . . . . . 14,166 74.90
Charlette Stewart Oswalt (REP) . . . 1,511 7.99
 Les Tannehill (IND) . . . . . . . 2,730 14.43
 Reginald Thompson (IND). . . . . . 489 2.59


Sam Hall just tweeted:  With 50% reporting, Rep. Bobby Moak, leader of House Ds, has slim 51-49 lead over R challenger.  We might need to start watching that one. Statewatch tweets:
Moak, Bobby (i) Dem 1,434 51%
Mangold, Vince GOP 1,372 49%

A third of the statewide vote is in on I42.
Against 87,709 54%
Approval 76,155 46%

9:15. Time to pour a second glass.

Madison. Did someone say Madison?

Ratcliff: 4,619 (50%), Chris Walker 2,487 (27%), Miller 1,507 (16%), Wolf 601 (7%). 50% of vote counted.
Banks 1,468 (68%), Bishop 692 (32%), 13/21 precincts. Good job, Gerald.
Griffin 1,208 (58%), Jolly 882 (42%), 50% counted. Is the landslide beginning?


Let us be honest. This entire election cycle was pretty boring. Oh for the days of Molpus and Fordice.

Hood and Hurst have tightened up a little. 45% counted:

Jim Hood (i) 138,373 54%
Mike Hurst 117,164 46%

Against 132,308 54%
Approval 114,953 46%

The lead is widening against I42.


Hall just tweeted: Big update… With 78 percent reporting, Rep. Bobby Moak, House D leader, trails R challenger 56-44
Wow. That would be a huge loss for Dems. Moak might have gotten redistricted right out of his seat.

Against 154,989 53%
Approval 138,239 47%
Tightening a little but still 26,000 votes is a nice margin to overcome. Did I mention LSU is #2 in the rankings?


Hinds County. 50% of vote counted.

Victor Newman (DEM) . . . . . . 16,217 71.32
Charlette Stewart Oswalt (REP) . . . 2,097 9.22
Les Tannehill (IND) . . . . . . . 3,852 16.94
Reginald Thompson (IND). . . . . . 547 2.41

Sheriff Mason. Get used to saying. He is da man.


What is going on in District 4?

Jon Lewis (REP)  3,035 47.65%
Leon Seals (DEM)  3,233 50.75%

Earl Young (IND) 100    1.57%
Jimmy Morton (REP)      3,190   50.40%
JoAnna Weathersby-Archie (DEM) 3,137   49.57%
Vern O. Gavin (DEM)    3,136   49.44%
Mike Morgan (REP)     3,204   50.51%


I42. 63% of vote counted.
Against 194,042 54%
Approval 168,497 46%


Anna Wolfe tweets: 45/50 precincts now reporting, Roberts still leads with 55% for Chancery, Miller leads 34% for Circuit with Ratcliff trailing 29%.

Dick Hall (i) 53,834 58%
Mary Coleman 39,543 42%

Cecil Brown 45,878 50%
Brent Bailey 45,629 49%


From around the state.

Upset up north? 3/5 boxes are counted.
Hughes, J.P. 2,226 55%
Mayo, Brad (i) 1,819 45%

Ass-kicking down south?
Mangold, Vince GOP 3,474 56%
Moak, Bobby (i) Dem 2,749 44%

Clarke, Eugene (i)GOP 7,178 60%
Thomas, Joseph Dem 4,800 40%
Many Republicans were worried about Buck losing.

Is Melanie going down in defeat? 91% of the vote is counted. Advice to Melanie? Less than 100 votes? Don't conceded, fight every step of the way.
Dearing, Bob Dem 7,089 51%
Sojourner, Melanie (i)GOP 6,888 49%


Madison County

Circuit Judge.
Ratcliff 10,858 (50%), Chris Walker 5,820 (27%), Miller 3,519 (16%), Wolf 1,465 (7%)
District 4 WOW!!! I spoke WAY TOO SOON!!! Put some Tony Chachere's on the crow and sautee for awhile. DAYUMN!!!
Bishop 2,313 (50.18%) Banks 2,295 (49.79%)
District 5 Griffin  2,981 (60%), Jolly 1,948 (40%)

Door is starting to close.  71% of vote is counted.
Against 225,203 53%
Approval 199,859 47%


2 precincts to go. Moak is getting pummeled.
Mangold, Vince GOP 3,840 57%
Moak, Bobby (i) Dem 2,946 43%
Moak lived in Jackson, played at being a Bogue man, his district was changed. It all adds up to a perfect storm.

Tom Miles is way out in front and he was a target of GOP redistricting.

Meanwhile Melanie is losing BUT this one is far from over. 2 precincts to go. She is down by 163 votes. She can win.
Dearing Bob Dem 7,466 51%
Sojourner, Melanie (i) GOP 7,303 49%


Hinds County update. 71% of vote is counted.

District 4 Supervisor
Vern O. Gavin (DEM) 4,607 46.98
Mike Morgan (REP) 5,194 52.97

Jimmy Morton (REP) 5,203 53.08
JoAnna Weathersby-Archie (DEM) 4,597 46.89

Jon Lewis (REP) 4,888 49.69
Leon Seals (DEM) 4,784 48.64
Earl Young (IND) 161 1.64


I42 73% of vote counted.
Against 232,614 53%
Approval 204,366 47%
28,000 vote margin. Running out of time.


Brown, Cecil Dem 81,237 56%
Bailey, Brent GOP 62,582 43%
Brent tried but he was taking on a guy with a base who had a good resume and was well-funded.

Hinds Sheriff:
Victor P. Mason (DEM) 40,256 72.30
Charlette Oswalt (REP) 4,784 8.59
Les Tannehill (IND) 9,265 16.64
Reginald Thompson (IND) 1,308 2.35


Anna Wolf (CL) posted this on Twitter:


I42. 78% of the vote is counted.

Against 251,770 54%
Approval 217,399 46%


Getting close to time to wrap this up.

Hood, Jim (i) Dem 289,085 56%
Hurst, Mike GOP 227,582 44%

Brad Mayo went down. All votes are counted.
Hughes, J.P. Dem 2,226 55%
Mayo, Brad (i) GOP 1,819 45%

Then there is I42. 82% of the vote is counted.
Against 269,304 53%
Approval 234,816 47%

Nearly 35,000 vote margin. Its gone.


Anonymous said...

No doubt all the clueless anti-JJ lunatics are lining up right now to find some sort of fault or error in your coverage.

Anonymous said...

With Hillary facing a possible jail term, the Dems have no horse to ride. I wish they could run Huey P. Long for Pres with Theodore Bilbo as V. P. Lets run them against Trump and Carlie. That would be interesting.

Anonymous said...

Long lines in stankin rankin. Voters loitering at machines trying to read and understand the bullshit initiative garbage.

Anonymous said...

5:40 - please post many more comments as amusing as that one. Your detachment from reality is a hoot.

Anonymous said...

I'm calling the race for Phil right now.

Anonymous said...

Low Low turnout. May have helped the pro 42 gang. Only interesting thing on the ballot was 42. If it passes it will be fun to watch one group of liberals (all state agency folks) fighting another group of liberals (education bunch) for the pie. Someone will go home hungry.

Anonymous said...

Just left the Northshore precinct in Rankin County. Over an hour wait to vote. And that's after the polls closed. Only 5 machines available and no plan B in case something like this happened. Paper ballot? Never heard of 'em. Believe me, I asked.

Anonymous said...

7:11 - It was called months ago.

Chris McDonald said...

Got a call last night from a Republican-contracted boiler room paid for by Friends of Melanie Sojourner. The caller sounded Asian and pronounced her name Ma-leen. I correct the caller twice and then she hung up on me.

Anonymous said...

If there is a run off for chancery in rankin, I think it's between roberts and willard. But I believe it's going to be roberts with over 50% of the vote.

Anonymous said...

Do they have run offs in general elections?

Anonymous said...

LSU at #2. Yea Baby!!!!

Anonymous said...

Melanie Sojourner is much prettier than Bob Dearing.

Anonymous said...

My brother just texted me to say he has been waiting in line to vote in Rankin County for an hour and a half, and there are approximately 50 people in line ahead of him and about 10 behind him. So, don't expect Rankin County returns anytime soon.

Anonymous said...

Hurst will be within 4 of Hood. Rs seemed to have turned out heavier than Ds in most places, but maybe not enough. 42 likely screwed him.

Anonymous said...

. The caller sounded Asian and pronounced her name Ma-leen. I correct the caller twice and then she hung up on me.

Like the call I received asshole from Indiana on behalf of the Pro-42 crowd. Like that kind of call?

Anonymous said...

they're folks on my neighborhood forum saying they didn't even see the section to vote on 42. it's a 2 side freaking ballot. you're voting read everything. looks like it may pass so they'll get what they wanted anyway.

Anonymous said...

If no majority with a dem, rep, and ind, is there a run-off or high man wins?

Anonymous said...

If in Hinds not voting the other side of the ballot hurts the 42 camp more than it helps. If in Rankin or Madison, the inverse.

Anonymous said...

What happens when "against" wins the first question but somehow "42" wins the second question? How does that work and why would someone select those two options?

Anonymous said...

Right now, with 23% of the vote in statewide, 42 is losing by about 8000 votes. Repub incumbents already declared winners in statewide races and Hood has a 10-point lead on Hurst.

Anonymous said...

26% reporting, Against 42 is 53%. Keep your fingers crossed.

Anonymous said...

29% reporting, still 53% against 42.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely amazing that a stiff like Charles Graham gets 1/3 of the vote just for being black and Democrat. Oh, wait, he's a Thad Cochran voter. Right?

Anonymous said...

8:57, If against wins the first question, the second question doesn't matter.

Anonymous said...

53% in, Sojourner @ 56%. Sure that will deflate Lange and Corder's erectile dysfunction pumps.

Anonymous said...

34% in, Against 42 holds at 53%!

Anonymous said...

45% reporting, AGAINST 42 = 54% !!!

Anonymous said...

I think it's safe to say Victor Mason is the next Hinds County Sheriff.

Anonymous said...

How is it possible 170k votes have been for 42 or 42A but only 109k have voted FOR it?

Thinking Out Loud said...

From the Secretary of State's website at http://www.sos.ms.gov/Elections-Voting/Pages/Mississippi's-Initiative-Process.aspx

"For a measure to pass, the number of votes in favor the an initiative must be equal to or more than 40% of the total votes cast at the

Reading this and some other online resources leads me to think that if 40% of the people vote FOR EITHER initiative, then one or the other will pass. As of this writing, 47% have voted FOR EITHER...and 58% are supporting 42.

Am I missing something here? It's not just a simple majority vote, from what I can tell.

Anonymous said...

Jon Lewis conceded Constable #4. Lost a good one there.

Anonymous said...

You weren't paying attention 9:25 PM.

Going forward just go ahead and skip voting since you don't bother to educate yourself in advance of going to the polls.

Anonymous said...

65% reporting, Sojourner @ 60%. Lange and Corder might want to stock up on lubricant. Going to be a long 4 years boys.

Anonymous said...

What is the world 9:30 PM ever led you to believe that Hinds County wanted good candidates?

Hinds and Jackson ARE LOST.

Anonymous said...

Bobby Moak losing big

Anonymous said...

Holy Cow, the establishemt Republicans have now crossed over to vote for Dearing. Time for Lange and Corder to double up on the lube !!!

Anonymous said...

The last precincts are always the corrupt ones that the Democrats or Pete Perry "Cochran" style Republicans bring in at the end when they realize how many votes they have to scam.

Anonymous said...

Cant wait to see mason fall on his face

Anonymous said...

Jim Evans and Bobby Moak. See any connection?

Anonymous said...

Over 70% of the Hinds vote in for I-42. Figure best case is another 9000 votes of closure which leaves I-42 still behind by 17,000. All of Madison counted and it finished 60-40 against. Have to believe that Rankin will fall the same way & cancel out much of the remaining Hinds vote. Don't see where the "yes" votes will be coming from.

Anonymous said...

Moak lived in Annandale. His boys went to JA. Can drive you right to his house. He's seen Bogue Chitto as often as he's seen his belt line.

Anonymous said...

Another 1% in on I-42 and the lead is padded by another 1000 votes. Trend has been this way since about 9PM. If this keeps up, I-42 will go down by between 40,000 & 50,000 votes

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, I appreciate your public service. Thank you for your hard work.

Anonymous said...

Now at 76%, I-42 down by 32,000 votes. The last 2% have added 4000 to the lead. I may be able to go to bed before long. The no vote starting to walk away from the yes votes

Anonymous said...

You like some of that Anna KF?

Kingfish said...

Rankin is not posting results on the website and she is the only one tweeting away from the courthouse. She provided a public service to all of us. Sarah Fowler covered Madison County but Lee Westbrook is very good about posting the results online.

Dear Anita, if you had any sense, you were there tonight seeing how Lee ran things during election night.

Anonymous said...

What? Rankin County Results

Anonymous said...

We live in the damn information age!

I will never believe there is a good reason that we can't have 100% of results in minutes after the election is over - with just one exception that polls generally stay open past closing time as long as there are people waiting to vote.

Anonymous said...

Rankin- https://www.rankincounty.org/egov/documents/1446612199_39737.HTM

Anonymous said...

LOL, go ahead and pretend those Rankin County results were online 30 minutes ago. Wouldn't want to make Anna feel unneeded now.

Kingfish said...

They are online now. They weren't online for most of the night.

Anonymous said...

First, Madison county appears to be in great turmoil. Please come back home Tim, we need you. It is obvious the state of MS isn't ready to embrace your brand of leadership, but the sheep of Madison county are straying from the pen and you need to get back here now and restore order. We've got an airport to build for goodness sakes.

Second thing, I attempted to contact Rep. Bennie Thompson's office some years ago concerning an issue that impacted the entire state. My online submission was rejected because my address wasnt in his district (his was the only one I received such a rejection from). Yesterday, I received a robo-call from none other than Mr. Thompson himself. My request for Mr. Thompson and his office, don't be robo-calling people when you won't accept feedback from them because they can't vote for or against you. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Of course Rankin County did not post immediately, they needed time to changes votes.

Anonymous said...

762 absentee ballots to count in Madison County before Bishop can claim it.

Anonymous said...

762 absentee ballots. Wonder what percent of those still live in the district? Maybe a better question is how many are still living?

Anonymous said...

Voters casting absentee ballots are verified with a picture ID at the courthouse when they vote just as the are at the polls? You maybe thinking of affidavit ballots.

When I voted absentee I had to show a picture ID.

Anonymous said...

Banks is in a fight. A lot of big money people will be left out in the cold if he loses.

Anonymous said...

It was 115 ballots last night. Where did the other 35 come from? CL reported 115.

Anonymous said...

Moak lives down the street from me. How come his name was not on my ballot?

Anonymous said...

Anyone who has any confidence in the absentee voter system in Madison County has never voted there before. No id is required. The teller just tosses it into a pile with the others. No supervision, control system, or id is required. If there's anywhere in the State where there is voter fraud, it's with absentee ballots in Madison County.

Anonymous said...

10:16 AM, Jim Evans may be able to answer your question.

Kingfish said...

That is what I was told over the phone but it sounds alot like 115 so I will say that 115 is probably correct. Sarah Fowler is providing good updates on Twitter this morning.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately there are several legislators that do not live in their district. I guess their voters do not care.

Charles Bryan said...

Hey 10:25
I voted absentee in Canton last week. I certainly was required to provide my identification to the clerk. After providing my identification, my ballot was printed.
In my opinion it was all handled in a professional, secure manner. Sounds as if you have had a different experience?

Anonymous said...

Moak's whole damn tenure in the MSHouse has been a massive contradiction matching his girth. Everyone owes Sam Begley a round of applause for reminding Mississippi that District residence matters and lying to the people back home will not go unpunished.

Anonymous said...

A different experience or an axe to grind.

Anonymous said...

Charles, I've had a completely different experience. When we voted on the School Bond month back, none of the proper regulations were followed. The procedure was so sloppy I have no doubt that the outcome did not resemble the actual votes.

Anonymous said...

10:25 is a MHB supporter, MCBOS and Rudy hater. Dont get me wrong I dont give two rips for Rudy myself. MHB came back home to be the fat fish in the little pond when she found out what the people in the state of Mississippi thought of her feeble attempt at a statewide office.

Anonymous said...

Madison county website reporting new totals.....Banks down by 12 votes after absentee ballots counted.

Charles Bryan said...

Thanks 1:07
I guess I had assumed that the Canton School System's bond voting process was handled by the city of Canton and not the Madison County Circuit Clerk. My experience with Lee Westbrook's staff was certainly different from the one you described.

Anonymous said...

The whole system seems corrupt and electronic votes can be changed and absentee ballots can be faked. Someone should check the names on those absentee ballots and find out if those were the actual people that voted.

Anonymous said...

They are counting affidavits and hopefully the absentees from Lake Caroline that were missing but now found. And there may be other missing ballots out. Shady. Of course when Dorsey Carson is involved what do you expect.

Anonymous said...

10:25- Liar liar pants on fire! They checked my ID. Bet you didn't know they have cameras taping you! LOL

Anonymous said...

If the people working in the clerks office want to change a ballot, they could. Just do it off camera. Your crazy if you think that doesn't happen. Just look at Rankin County.

Anonymous said...

The Canton school bond issue WAS handled by the city of canton and not Madison county. They used the county's voting machines and that was the extent of the county's involvement. I had to vote on the bond issue and you are correct it was a sloppy deal.

There are no cameras in the circuit clerks office at this time.

Anonymous said...

WAY TOOOO GOOOOO JACKSON!!!!!!! It is AMAZING how many complain complain complain YET still put the same ones back in office. Hood and many of his campaign contributors are laughing all the way to the bank!!!!! and many of you put your go ahead stamp of approval on him.


You can not possibly be surprised at why things in the Jackson area are deteriorating at such an incredible rate. We will all get/suffer more of what some of you voted back in.


Anonymous said...

10:53 AGREE what did MS rank 1st or 2nd of the 50 states as most corrupt state?
That is pretty impressive to beat out Louisiana for top spot.
Are you people proud?

Anonymous said...

Rankin County has to be the most corrupt county in Mississippi. Your vote does not count.

2016 Hottest Reporter Poll

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Who is the hottest reporter?


Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS