Friday, July 24, 2015

Stacey responds

Shempbabadoowopbimbamdingdangbam! It has been a boring as hell election season but we finally got ourselves a food fight.  A conniption.  Election controversy even.  And the week before the Neshoba circus.   State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following statement:


STATEMENT FROM STATE AUDITOR STACEY PICKERING
 JULY 24, 2015
I was disappointed to read yesterday a series of vicious and untrue attacks leveled upon me by my opponent, Mary Hawkins-Butler.  She entered this race with the strategy of attacking the Madison County Board of Supervisors and other Madison County vendors, and now has sadly turned her attacks toward my family and me.  She knows her campaign is in dire trouble, and with 11 days until Election Day she is using the oldest trick in the book by trying to smear my credibility.  I am embarrassed a so-called Republican would stoop to this level of personal destruction.
I have spent 12 years in public service working on a daily basis with FBI and law enforcement to investigate and prosecute those who misuse public funds and proactively account for our tax dollars.  My record speaks for itself.  I will not stand by as my opponent throws an election-eve "Hail Mary" to try and tarnish the work of the State Auditor's office over the last eight years.  It is important that I set the record straight regarding the accusations toward my family and me.
There are three points of concern that the Clarion Ledger article addressed.
  • Point #1 – Reimbursements filed on my campaign finance reports
    • My campaign finance reports have always been filed in a timely manner and strictly following state law.  I have thoroughly disclosed disbursements from my campaign account and to whom they were given.  They are fully transparent and are in compliance with state law.
    • Being a statewide elected official is more than a 9-to-5 job, and the state auditor's budget does not allow for extensive travel. Throughout my political career, I have traveled extensively during weekends and evenings on behalf of Mississippi Republicans and national Republican candidates. As Auditor, I'm keenly aware that not all of those expenses should be borne by taxpayers. They're political in nature. I have made countless campaign stops on behalf of state legislative campaigns, fellow statewide officials, local Republican officials and the Mississippi Republican Party.   I proudly served as the state Chairman for Mitt Romney's 2012 presidential campaign, which required multiple trips in and out of state.  Serving on boards for the Governmental Accounting Office as well as the National State Auditors Association, some travel was paid for out of the campaign fund and fully allowable under state law.
  • Point #2 – Reimbursements to staff
    • Over the years, I have had several staffers from the Auditor's office who have worked on minor projects for my campaigns.  They did this work during their own personal time.  As reiterated by the Clarion Ledger, this is not prohibited, thus, I reimbursed them from my campaign account for their travel and/or expenses.  
  • Point #3 – Campaign purchase of a campaign car, mobile campaign office and home security 
    • Following the same path of many campaigns, my campaign purchased a campaign car in 2011—when my daughter was 15.  It was an 8-year-old used car (2003) purchased to perform the regular functions of a campaign car.  We personally paid the car insurance and taxes on the campaign car since its purchase to cover any personal use and it wasn't until it reached well over 180,000 miles and was worth less than $1,500 according to Kelly Blue Book, that our daughter drove it on a consistent basis. The car is still used for campaign functions.  Katie drove it to numerous campaign stops this month.  She frequently campaigns side-by-side with me and even as a surrogate for events that Whitney and I cannot attend.
    • When I first decided to run for statewide office, my four children were still very young.  Whitney and I decided that it would be a wise investment for the campaign to purchase a small, Class B RV, so that our family could spend as much time together as we campaigned across the state.  This ended up saving the campaign money on costly hotel rooms.  It was important to me that voters not only personally meet me, but also meet my family as well.  They are an important part of who I am and voters needed to see that. We have paid the insurance and taxes on the vehicle since it was purchased to cover any personal use. 
    • When I am performing my job as State Auditor, it sometimes causes me to make harsh enemies.  It's part of my job and I will never back away from that aspect of it.  However, I refuse to have my family's safety threatened.  On a number of occasions our home garage was ransacked, which was very frightening to my wife and children.   Unlike other statewide elected officials, I do not have a security detail, so I made the decision that I had to install a garage door at my home to protect my family.  I filed it on my personal taxes, following the law. I am not going to stop pursuing high-profile cases because that is what I was elected to do.  However, my family's safety is my top priority, and that is why I took the action to secure our home from those who may wish to intimidate or cause me harm.
My opponent is using a former disgruntled campaign employee of mine as a pawn.  Mary Hawkins Butler is entitled to her own opinions, but she is not entitled to her own set of facts.  Them pinning their hopes to my campaign finance statement shows how utterly devoid of substance her vision for Mississippi is. My family and I will continue to campaign throughout the state over these final days of the primary election, and we look forward to talking with voters and those in the media about my successful record as State Auditor and my plans for the next four years.

Sent from my BlackBerry Passport 

72 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've never been impressed by his performance on the job, but even living in Madison I have never heard one word from his opponent as to what she would do differently, or even what she would do at all. Having had to deal with her in court before, I am convinced this was a smear job, and the C-L is either extremely gullible or in cahoots with her on this.

She and the C-L have ten more days to change my mind about this, and I doubt that's going to happen.

Anonymous said...

My record speaks for itself.

Yes. When it comes to the Airwave contract in Hinds County your record of inaction speaks for itself.

Anonymous said...

I was looking for: "I have no knowledge of an FBI inquiry into these matters."

No one doubts MMHB is whatever she is. But one can be a First Degree Hater and still find themselves in the broken clock position.

SP, have you been contacted by the FBI on these issues?

Anonymous said...

He forgave over a million dollars of his original demand from Bill Walker-R and the Marine Resource Foundation,a fake nonprofit set up by Walker and others to steal taxpayer's money. Why? The Friends and Family program that is why. He left many other issues of misuse, embezzlement and just plain stealing untouched in this matter. Was he on Haley Barbour's leash? Did he stop because the trail was leading to Jackson and he got pulled back? Many think so.

Anonymous said...

When I am performing my job as State Auditor, it sometimes causes me to make harsh enemies. It’s part of my job and I will never back away from that aspect of it. However, I refuse to have my family’s safety threatened. On a number of occasions our home garage was ransacked, which was very frightening to my wife and children.

Pickering responds to alleged FBI probe

No politician (or any member of the public for that matter) should have to put up with clear violations of the law such as Auditor Pickering states happened here. Did Auditor Pickering or anyone else report these clear violations of the law to law enforcement? Hopefully this was done so that the alleged crimes could be investigated and the perpetrator(s) dealt with by law enforcement.

Anonymous said...

What is the hook to this that brings the FBI into investigating the finances of a state candidate?

Anonymous said...

Held in contempt by a state court? CHECK.

Approving “no bid” contracts for work in the State Auditor’s office? CHECK.

Personal use of a state-owned vehicle? CHECK.

Conflicts of interest in his fundraising (DMR scandal)? CHECK.

Using campaign funds to purchase BMW? CHECK.

Using campaign funds to purchase garage door? CHECK.

Using campaign funds for a lavish traveling lifestyle? CHECK.

Dude is corrupt.

Anonymous said...

The problem is the campaign finance laws. Pickering's filing is completely legal. If anything, he offers more information than required. That's how he got into trouble. He should just do what Jim Hood and Lynn Fitch do: Big payments to credit cards with no explanation what the payments were for, and using campaign funds to pay interest on loans no on knew you had.

Pickering could lead the way to reforming the law and require every campaign expense above $100 be accompanied by a brief couple of words note about the purpose. And credit card payments should be itemized so the actual expenses are itemized.

Come on Stacey, show some leadership.

The MSGOP. The Gift that Keeps on Giving. said...

For years this "mobile campaign office" has been parked at the Mayes Lake Campground for multiple weeks at each stretch and not used for campaigning but for other purposes. During the few times in non-election years when the "mobile campaign office" is taken out on the road -- ostensibly being used for "campaigning" -- the particular state officer occupant's favorite space in the campground has been saved for him so that it is open and immediately available day or night upon his return. I doubt Mississippi's State Auditor will investigate and audit this state officer occupant's extensive stays there nor report on the unreported fair market value of a near-permanent lake front "mobile campaign office" space during occupation, when held specifically reserved though vacant and when being used for, effectively, "mobile campaign office" storage.

Park personnel will be appropriately briefed, or have already been briefed, on how to respond to questions regarding their resident state office "guest" while he toiled away there in his "mobile campaign office".

Anonymous said...

@11:13- there isn't one.

The FBI isn't involved in this.

If I call the FBI and complain about Mary I can then state truthfully that I've "talked to the FBI" about her.

I believe that's what's happened here.

Anonymous said...

I like Mr. Pickering. I think that he has done a good job. However, I am not sure I buy the garage door thing. Even if his garage has been vandalized, that does not justify using State money to buy a garage door. His logic may be sound, but he is still wrong.

If his office was vandalized and he bought a security door of a garage (if applicable) then yes, the State pays. However, a garage door for a house is a homeowners' expense.

Anonymous said...

A clerical error?

That's the defense raised by every individual Pickering has ever prosecuted.

Anonymous said...

But can he throw an ax? That is the true test of a leader.

Anonymous said...

How is home security due to one's job a campaign expense. It sounds like a work expense.

Anonymous said...

What's not said is whether he declared the personal use of vehicles as income on his returns. Read what you will into that omission.

Anonymous said...

We have seen this from Mary Hawkins Butler for years. Destroy, attack, and smear. I hope the people of Mississippi will not fall for her ugly disgusting tactics like some in Madison have for too damn long.

Anonymous said...

Hey Pick - kinda sucks when allegations are sent your way, huh? Welcome to the show...

Anonymous said...

11:34, at least he didn't have to hire a photographer to take pictures of him during his obligatory election year visit to the pistol range. I'm so tired of sissified politicians who probably don't own a gun trying to show us how manly they look in ear muffs.

Anonymous said...

This is what Mary Hawkins does, people. We have been living through this nightmare for years. If she can't control you, She is going to destroy you and your family . Please wake up before it is too late, Mississippi. If she gets a badge, she is coming after you next.

Anonymous said...

@11:24 AM
Cub Scout campout @ Mayes, sometime Fall 2012, think October.
Park Ranger, nice fellow, emphasized three points.
Evac rules in event of sudden rise on Pearl.
Alerted parents that gators known to pull out on shoreline @ night.
Asked parents to make sure scouts remained wide at all times of Pickering's parked RV.

Anonymous said...

Your contributors deserve transparency and Mississippians have much more respect for someone who owns up to their wrongdoing - not to say that you shouldn't step down, or at least step aside until this matter is settled. In short - itemize your bullshit expenses, beg not to be prosecuted and do the taxpayers a favor and get out of public service.

Anonymous said...

@ 11:54 - kill the messenger often?

Anonymous said...

Mississippi Repubs will talk you ear off about the need for transparency then effort like crazy to make sure the average Mississippians gets none and sees none.

Anonymous said...

Pender can be slow and late to a story out of an abundance of caution. He had all the proof he needed to expose Senator Hoochie Koo except a photo of him and Kay holding hands kissing. When Pender smells blood in the water and has the corroboration he needs he'll aggressively go after a story. No way, no how he runs with this if he isn't 100% convinced there is a real story.

Anonymous said...

The AMEX loophole needs to go away. Big enough to drive Chris McDaniel sized RV through.

Anonymous said...

Looks like an "Ocean Springs Jambalaya" is operating........

Anonymous said...

He never said he reported these things on his tax return. If he did not, this is tax evasion and he can go to jail. He should resign.

Mary is usually right. She is certainly right about the corruption in Madison County.

Anonymous said...

It is time for Pickering to have one of those Trent Lott epiphanies at Sunday service and resign on Monday.

Anonymous said...

12:18,

I fixed it for you...

"expose Senator Hoochie Koo except a photo of him and Melanie holding hands..."

Anonymous said...

Pickering on his opponent: "I am embarrassed a so-called Republican would stoop to this level of personal destruction."

Uh, look no further than Uncle Thad's last election.....

Anonymous said...

“State and local governments in Mississippi spend billions of dollars in taxpayer money each year. As a fiscal conservative, I want to make sure that our tax dollars are spent with the integrity the taxpayers expect and deserve.”

Anonymous said...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Her campaign and attacks on others are just a smoke screen to hide her impropriety. I suspect the FBI is more looking at her than at Pickering. They may certainly be looking at Pickering because sometimes, you had to chase bad accusations, but the only reason in my book she is running, is so that when she is indicted, she can scream "political attack". Pickering may be guilty, but if I had to chose, she is the one with legal problems forthcoming.

And no, I'm ot a pickering supporter. Would vote against him if there were a viable alternative.

As to comments by others about Pickering not reporting the epxnese reimbursements on his tax return, those are not reportable if paid under an accountable plan. FYI

Anonymous said...

This is very simple. If he paid tax on money he is "legal" but stupid. If he did not pay tax on money then is on the wrong side of the law and is in bad trouble. So just show tax returns and we will know is he just stupid or a crook. Very very simple!!

Anonymous said...

1:25, enlighten us. What is the FBI looking at on Mary? Whether it's meaningful enough to rise to the level of an FBI investigation remains to be seen, but the public documents certainly show some impropriety on Pickering's part. What's out there on Mary that you can use to back up your theory, or is it just something you heard?

Anonymous said...

@11:33 am obviously you didn't read the article or anything else... He used CAMPAIGN MONEY to purchase those things NOT taxpayer dollars HA jokes on you!

toejangle said...

I have known the Mayor for at least twenty years and one thing I am absolutely certain of----If she gets elected she will put all those redneck good ole boys in jail if she can. What has happened in Madison County with taxpayer dollars is a joke and someone should go to jail. At least we have an election coming up where we can vote to clean house.

former staff said...

Slowly but surely the truth starts coming out. Glad I am not part of all that anymore. This isn't even the half of it.

Anonymous said...

3:27 PM You are absolutely right, Mary Hawkins Butler has my vote! I want to see her send all these good old boys living off other peoples money to Jail!

Anonymous said...

"accountable plan" does not apply. The campaign money used personally(strong evidence that it was) is subject to Federal and state taxation. Notice he did not state that he paid taxes on it. Will DOR go after him? Probably not. GOB system.

Anonymous said...

Search and destroy, the motto of the so called queen! How disappointed she is going to be when the tables are turned on her. Seeking political office to destroy people is not why we want to elect candidates to office. It doesn't speak well of the work they intend to accomplish.

Anonymous said...

State Frauditor?

Anonymous said...

I am convinced this is not rumor and innuendo. I would tend to believe the FBI made investigation. Pickering can't say why the campaign worker was disgruntled. She was simply asked about a car she sold. If the FBI knocked on my door, I would tell them whatever they wanted know about anything...so would we all. The funniest thing about all of this is that Pickering blames Hawkins-Butler. If everything he said is true about her bringing this out, that makes her a pretty good auditor, doesn't it? Is Pickering disputing any of these numbers? This is the office of the STATE AUDITOR!!!! A very good thing comes of this all in that now the public is more aware of the duties of the office and the function of it. Mississippi is voted #1 in corruption, and that happened under this official, this auditor. Madison, on the other hand, has been voted one of the best places to raise children, to retire etc...Recently, one of the Rankin candidates locally ran an ad about the spending of Rankin's Chancery Clerk vs...other Chancery Clerks. The figures were obtained from the Auditor's office. the auditor's office looked into that? There have been many rumors here and there about people being investigated by the FBI, what I usually do if I hear one is call the FBI and let them know because they might want to look into who is leaking info about an open investigation if there is one. That is a reasonable way to handle hearing an FBI rumor from someone. Has Pickering called on the FBI at all about this? If it was me, I would be over at the FBI asking to give a full statement. I don't give credence to a media address aimed at voters...want to see a sworn statement to the FBI.

Anonymous said...

Pickering can park his camper in Madison County Lake to No Where park. His failure to proper audit Madison County should give him free rental space

Anonymous said...

At best, Pickering needs a new Press Secretary.

It is a horribly written press release.

It is written to target readers on a personal level, almost to trigger a guilt trip.

It's manipulated excuse after excuse line by line, in my opinion.

Anonymous said...

3:59 the tax payers are begging for the corruption to be destroyed. It is kind of hard to accomplish anything useful in most offices, if you do not clean up the mess first.

Anonymous said...

@4:17

The McDaniel name check was for the win!

They should have included that the whole family attends church regularly.

Anonymous said...

@12:29, there isn't an AMEX loophole, but some politicians THINK there is.

Mississippi Code 23-15-801(f)(i) says you gotta disclose anyone given "anything of value," like say a credit card authorization. Also 25-15-897(d)(ii)(2) says if anybody pays anything on behalf of a candidate, like say AMEX, the candidate has gotta disclose who received those payments too. And that's just state law, that's not including federal tax and money laundering laws.

Based on what I've seen on the campaign finance reports, Longwitz has concealed about $15,000 in these type of payments just in the last couple months or so.

Don't believe me? Go to Delbert's website and check it out.

Anonymous said...

The State Auditor is the watchdog of public money. For a State Auditor to do anything that would draw this kind of inquiry, which appears for all purposes to be credible inquiry that he is questionable....is audacious and unconscionable in this particular office. The party needs to do something.

Anonymous said...

4:17 Anonymous
Priests who molested children and ministers who embezzled or abused members of the congregation, had affairs...etc...They attended Church each Sunday too. It probably violates the commandment not to take the Lord's name in vain. Religion has nothing to do with anything. We can't vote for someone in politics as Christians just because they appear to have religion or claim to. Religion is an easy political device in politics, especially on a Republican ticket in the South.

Anonymous said...

Really humiliating for his daughter. Grown men who lie and cheat usually get re-elected in Mississippi. This must be a conspiracy involving Mary and Chris working together to bring Pickering down. Little did they know his own actions will do it for them.

Anonymous said...

To 4:07-------------Thank you Mary..................

Anonymous said...

I am a Catholic...so, I appreciate that statement, "Thank you, Mary." I am not the Mayor. It is a true statement, nonetheless, that I made. You can't skirt it. Do you believe that priests and ministers who commit crimes and moral offenses are innocent because they attend church each Sunday?

Anonymous said...

What is it about fancy cars that infatuates State Auditors so much? Part of Steve Patterson's downfall was the tag for a Land Rover and now Pick's possible downfall is a worn out BMW. If you want a fancy car then get a real job! Or consider County Engineer in Madison County and you can get a Trump hairdo and get your wife a Bentley to boot!

Anonymous said...

The only Mary sign I've seen (haven't seen any Pickering signs)in my area has "Mayor Mary Hawkins Butler.....". I was under the impression that a candidate was not suppose to use their present elected position on a political sign when running for a different elected position.
Is there such a regulation? I'm just curious.

Anonymous said...

They can have volunteers or legitimately hired campaigners put out signs and the like while they do their elected job.

Anonymous said...

7:47, no such regulation. Candidates do it all the time. Love that 7:26. Rudy's Trump hairdo and his wife's Bentley. Rudy does love his hair.

Anonymous said...

The auditor should be above reproach. He should resign, plain and simple. He should put the best interest of the voters above his own.

Anonymous said...

LMAO Pickering sits down with Bert Case just like Senator Hoochie Koo did to repeat his lies about Kay Webber. Go get 'em MSGOP! See you at Fenian's!

Anonymous said...

Can Pickering release to the public copies of the police reports he made when his garage was ransacked repeatedly?

Anonymous said...

Bert: FBI?
Stacey: Waaaaaaahhha!

Anonymous said...

Queen Mary stepped in it this time.
She's hurt herself for any statewide run in the future.
She looks desperate and cheap.
She's better than this.

Anonymous said...

Damn, what a choice....the crook or the kook....

Anonymous said...

We have a mess on our hands as republican voters. MSGOP needs to stand up right now.

Anonymous said...

The auditor needs to go. No crook needs to be our auditor. His appearance on the news tonight was not addressing issues. Smug and indecent.

Anonymous said...

The mess is the MSGOP. Reap what you've sown.

Anonymous said...

Agreed 10:40. If MSGOP doesn't do right in this situation....they reap what they have sown. Very well said 10:40.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, as always, KF, for a good forum.

Anonymous said...

Why isn't Pickering trumpeting that he's demanded a retraction from the Clarion-Ledger? Is Bert Case now the go-to reporter for establishment Republicans when they need to lie?

Anonymous said...

Nothing from the Sun Herald and it's in Washing Times.

Anonymous said...

When you realize what politicians spend your "campaign donations" on it becomes very clear that those who donate are either really dumb or expect a favor in return.

Stop donating money to politicians. Let's see how many of them want to spend their own money to "make the city better", "do it for their kids", "save America", blah, blah, blah.

Anonymous said...

I was going to say this is the most sour grape saga on both sides I've seen in some time. Nope, it's persimmon time.

Anonymous said...



I would like to know how much of our Hinds County tax payer dollars have been returned!!

You couldn't possibly believe that there is no corruption there!!

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Loading...

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Who is the hottest reporter?

Archives

Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.