Here are the Hinds County sample ballots for the primaries next week. Get out the sharkbats and brass knuckles. Keep discussion limited to Hinds County. You guys have been going at it about the Senate race on the Madison thread so keep it over there.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Hinds County sample ballots
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
30 comments:
Which thread KF do you want us to use to discuss Bill Billingsley and the international relations fiasco killing of Cecil the Lion?
Did Bill kill a lion? Man, you take a nap...
Zack Wallace. Anyone else for Circuit Clerk will be a disaster. The Sheriff and DA get all the attention, but we need a capable Circuit Clerk. He's been running the place anyway, might as well pay him for it.
Billingsley release the results of his polling of NEJackson yet?
Tyrone Lewis has been instrumental in keeping Hinds County together. He's honest and loyal and Hinds County needs him.
7:38 is exactly right about Zack Wallace. I have admired his work ethic and ability since he started working for the Circuit Clerk's office.
Zack knows the office and will start on day one doing an excellent job as Circuit Clerk. He will not need to have a learning curve time and waste taxpayers money.
KF, are you doing statewide races tomorrow?
There are a handful of great candidates running in the Aug. 4 primary in Hinds County: Eddie Fair for tax collector, Victor Mason for sheriff, Zack Wallace for circuit clerk. I'm also voting for Cecil Brown for PSC. All of these folks seem exceptionally qualified and interested in public service.
Cecil Brown is interested in Cecil Brown. And PERS.
Hattiesburg Jambalaya? Are you expanding Kingfish? Is yalljackson.com and yallmississippi.com you also?
Forgive me for not knowing, but do any Justice Court judges in Hinds County have opponents this year???
Hopefully you all are aware that Greer is merely Phillip Gunns puppet. If you want Gunn out, better vote against Greer.
8:32.
You're joking right? Tyrone Lewis is the worst thing to happen to Hinds County in the last decade. No one of sound mind will vote for him.
Unfortunately it's a lot of mindless people that will vote for the train wreck Tyrone Lewis. I just hope there is more sensible people who realize the administration is detrimental to Hinds County. Tyrone Lewis is for Tyrone Lewis the man has made a mockery of the badge by giving one to any and everyone. That man has to be sent home.
A few years ago The State Supreme Court labeled the Hinds Circuit Clerk's Office as a "clerical disaster." These matters give me confidence that the office will improve under a Wallace administration. He's nice and polite but the job requires proven leadership. I am voting for Mumford. Sure the trial lawyers may be uncomfortable because they will not get their "picks" but one must do what is best for the County.
Let's not forget Lynn Fitch's disasters, beginning with the new performance appraisal system for state employees implemented while she ran the state personnel board. The new system does not count or grade performance of an employee's duties, but instead only asks a bunch of touchy-feely subjective questions like does he have a good attitude, get to work on time, mentor others and consider stakeholders' views. All good things, but if one's job is to pave roads, they probably ought to ask how many miles of road got paved correctly and how long it took. She got rid of those kinds of questions.
District 3 Supervisor is a no-win scenario - God help us. Zach Wallace will do a fine job as Circuit Clerk, Munford is another Kenny Stokes. Victor Mason has a big job trying to undo 8 years of T-bone's mess. Santore is not a great candidate but Fair is a fiscal and personal nightmare - remember the $60k 'supposedly' stolen from his office in Raymond?
LOL The McRae campaign is running on fumes.
This Circuit Clerk's Office is poorly run and has been so for many years. Its the dirty little secret among lawyers I speak with. I am amazed at how this office and its leader has escaped the scorn of this group. Entitlement and privilege perhaps? This office needs an overhaul. I agree with 8:32 a.m. and I will be voting for Mumford.
Not sure where to post this but it's pretty funny. I know what this actually is, but it looks like Tony Yarber went to the Middle East to give a state of the city address: http://wlbt.images.worldnow.com/images/8447912_G.jpg
Cedric Morgan is an experienced professional in local and state government and is the best choice for Hinds County Circuit Clerk. He has a rare combination of technology and government experience. He has the capabilities to modernize the office. I think his vision is the way to go into the future.
Why not to vote for Vikki Mumford as we all know she is a secretary not a clerk. If Mrs. Mumford could do such a great job why didn't she beat Mrs. Dunn. I'm so glad someone told Dunn to step down and stop costing us money for her illegal mistakes Birds of the same feather will flock together. "illegal, jail" Now the last guy, hmmmmmmm I don't know much about him, his name is Morgan. I say at this point anybody is better then those other two.
Remember how great Mumford ran Judge Wingate's office? NOT. Zack Wallace is the go-to guy at the Hinds County Circuit Clerk's Office. Wish he could be cloned and placed in ever government agency.
Part of the problem is people have just plain given up on Jackson and Hinds COunty. The post about Madison sample ballot got over 5,000 hits. Rankin County got over 2,500. Hinds? A little over 500.
Rec'd Billingsley's weak attempt at an attack mailer at my Jackson abode today.
Billingsley is a Successful Businessman while Longwitz is an Attorney.
Billingsley is a Decorated Military Veteran while Longwitz has No Military Experience.
Billingsley is a Citizen Legislator while Longwitz is a Career Politician.
Billingsley is Anti-Common Core while Longwitz Voted to Keep Common Core.
Billingsley is For Special Needs Children while Longwitz Voted Against Special Needs Children.
But Billingsley forgot to mention one add'l point of differentiation.
Billingsley FULLY SUPPORTS dumping OXFORD HOUSES into unsuspecting neighborhoods while Longwitz opposes the homeowner capitulation dictates of MDMH government bureacrats like Mikula and Avery.
Can anyone here provide useful info about the three people running for supervisor in district 1? I see tons of signs for Graham, Grear, and Wilson, but haven't received information from any of them. I know that Graham is the incumbent, but compared to the other two, does he deserve reelection?
Lt. Robert Graham may get re-elected but there is no way, no how that completely corrupt politician should be re-elected nor deserves to be re-elected.
Robert Graham is the one vote sitting there on the Hinds BOS who in the blink of an eye will vote to fuck Hinds County over in wave after wave of new corruption the very second two other like minded people take the oath for the BOS.
This is the Supervisor who still, to this very day, traipses around these United States doing his dispatcher training flat out lying that he was a sworn Lieutenant of the Jackson Police Department and was at one time actively out on the streets doing police work. Graham is a serial impersonator. What does that tell you?
At the very least, if enough people vote for Grear or Wilson the election can be forced into a runoff. Don't vote for Graham and if the election goes to a runoff do all you can to turn him out.
AIRWAVE AIRWAVE AIRWAVE
I don't think people have given up on Jackson and Hinds County. People have lost trust in the political process. Many believe that their vote does not matter. Big money in politics is destroying our democracy.
Have to agree about Graham. He's disgusting.
Aug. 1, 3:56 (Amile)(Mrs. Longwitz), did you realize that Billingsley's efforts to rid the neighborhood of the Oxford House scourge have yielded exactly the same result as Longwitz's? I admire your dedication to your candidate and your fake cause, but lots of us aren't single issue voters and appreciate what the other guy brings to the table. Plus, we already know that it's a federal issue and there's nothing Longwitz can do to rid us of OH and nothing Billingsley can do to help them.
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