And there arose to the north of Eden a
tribe called the Hotty-Toddys, who were also called metros. And the
Hotty-Toddys were very displeasing; they didst place centerpieces on
their banquet tables, and didst exalt themselves much. And they didst
glorify the southern kingdom of the past.
And
for a brief time they didst enjoy success on the battlefield. But in
the second year of the reign of John son of Joseph, a man named James,
of the house of Meredith, of the nation of Cush, didst attempt to enter
the seminary at Oxford. But the Hotty-Toddys despised and oppressed
the Cush-ites, and refused him entry. But the Judges decreed that James
must be allowed to enter. And the Hotty-Toddys rose up with great
vengeance and furious anger, and didst burn their own city, and even
slew two aliens in their midst. And the LORD saw that it was no good,
and was much angered, and uttered a curse upon the Hotty-Toddys:
"THOU SHALT TASTE VICTORY ONCE MORE, THEN NEVER AGAIN SHALL THOU BE FIRST AMONG THY BRETHREN"
And
after the following harvest, they didst enjoy their last great
victory, then their warriors became lost in the wilderness. And a man
named Elisha, who was also called Archie, didst attempt to lead them
back to glory, but was wounded in the land of Eden and tasted not the
fruits of victory. Then a great famine fell upon Oxford, until Eli son
of Archie arrived upon a white horse. Eli led the Hotty-Toddys to many
small victories, and girded his loins against an invasion by the
warriors from Eden.
But
Eli fell backwards*. And a great roar arose, and Johnny of the house
of Vaught, the great king of the Hotty-Toddy past, didst ask "What be
the meaning of this tumult?" For Johnny was a very old man, 93, and
nearly blind. And the Hotty-Toddys cried in despair, "The invaders from
Eden hath carried off the West championship! Our curse is still upon
us, and the Heisman shall never come to the house of Manning."
And
the LORD then caused a great delusion to fall upon the tribe of
Hotty-Toddy, and they drove their general David from their midst, even
though David had led them to victories for the first time in forty
years. And they chose a recruiter of warriors from a western land, Bay
Bay of the house of Yawyawyawyaw, because their delusion kept them from
seeing he was a fool. And Bay Bay disdt tear his garments, and shout
words none could understand. And the LORD loosed against the
Hotty-Toddys bands of Cowboys, and Bulldogs, and even Commodores, who
laid waste to Oxford. And the Hotty-Toddys continued to exalt Bay Bay,
even as half his warriors disappeared from Oxford, and rued the days of
Cutcliffe. And finally Les of Eden came to Oxford and destroyed it once
and for all
1 Samuel 4:3.
Then there arose a false prophet from the House of Nutt. Although he was cast out by swine, the faithful's hope was restored as he trampled the Tiger, vanquished the Raiders of Red, and slew the Cowboy in the House of Jerry. There was much feasting as milk and honey flowed from the rivers of the Delta to the lands of Elvis. However, more sorrow smote the tribe as the prophet's promises proved false when the curse struck him with a madness that left him speechless and confused. The prophet wandered at times on sidelines alone, quiet at times, babbling at others, while the faithful said oh no, we've been cursed yet again. However, Les of Eden was not without mercy as he was indeed a just man and knelt to end the game. 1 Samuel 4:4.
Yeah, I know. LSU has one
loss and Ole Miss lost three games. This IS LSU-Ole Miss. The series
is also a tough one from the LSU side. Don't believe me?
2001: Ole Miss win.
2002: LSU by 1.
2003: LSU by 3
2004: LSU by 3 despite a record-setting rushing performance by Broussard.
2005: LSU blowout because Ole Miss quits on Orgeron.
2006: LSU in OT
2007: LSU comes back in fourth quarter
2008: Ole Miss ass-kicking
2009: Les Miles can't tell time.
2010: LSU wins at the end of the game.
2011: The knee game.
2012: LSU needs 4th quarter comeback to win game.
Then there is Les Miles yesterday:
Sunday, October 13, 2013
The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty Toddy
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- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
19 comments:
Your colors celebrate the debauchery of a Christian holiday and you smell of bad fair food.
you just lost ANOTHER follower with those idiotic comments. get a life, other then cheap gossip and stir-er of the pot
@ 1:35; What gossip are you suggesting? The only thing he left out was "And it would come to pass that the chariot from the town of Trailways would appear to whisk away the son of Mrs. Nutt, the elder, and although it would take a year to load his goods into the chariot, he would depart with bags filled with gold and silver and the tribe would forever wonder what had happened."
Never gets old.
Seems like a football team that has no in state rivals and double the population would always dominate.
Ha but it's LSU.... enjoy your run. Ole Miss is breathing down your obnoxious neck.
ps. "Go to hell LSU!"
4:45 take solace in that half their team can't vote.
Thanks Kingfish, this is funny every year !
A new tradition has taken hold, it's like watching "Rudolph" at Christmas, listening to Alice's Restaurant Massacree on Thanksgiving.
Earlier manuscripts add:
And, in the year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred and seventy, God called forth an obscure tribe from the Piney Woods to do battle with the Hotty-Toddys. And Elisha, who was also called Archie, looked upon the Piney Woodsmen and taunted them, “Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?” Then the ranks of the Piney Woodsmen parted and there appeared Wee Willie of the House of Heidelburg, the Ethiopian, and entering onto the field of battle he smote the fair-skinned tribe of the Hoddy-Toddys until sundown. And Elisha rent his garments, and darkness covered the land, and panic swept through the streets of Oxford, and Johnny of the House of Vaught took to his bed. And then, after a season of fasting, Johnny rose up from his bed and gathered the elders of Oxford around his feet and proclaimed: “Lets us go forth an embrace the tribe of Cush.”
Hail State ! ! ! 3 wins and climbing
GEAUX TIGERS!!!!! Love your posts kingfish!
Damn!!!! I thought it was spelled Haughty Toddy........
At least it's not "Tighty Whitey!"
I sure hope they show the good ol' film of the All Time Greatest Punt Return In History during the game again....
THAT's a tradition that I look forward to every year... :-)
Great post Kingfish! Love it!
This is beyond hilarious. Living in a land w these Hotty-Totty nitwits - stupid people who somehow have money often - is enough to tax the patience of even Job. Idol worship in spades for these HT fans . That is the curse.And the reason our state is dead last almost in every category .
What about the rumble in the Grove between Bryant's Boys? Word is a ruckus occurred between Kirk Sims, Pierce Moore and the often mentioned Josh "show you the money" Gregory. Somebody bitch slapped somebody while they were following Phildo zombie style thru the Grove gladhanding all who would. Even Coasty Scott Walker was in the crowd. Hotty Toddy gosh almighty who the hell are they, to act up in a this totally embarrassing way? A video of the slapdown is out there.
More to the story in 2003. Best place kicker in the nation misses two FGs, and Ole Miss loses by 3 points to the eventual national champion.
Yep, 2003 Ole Miss kicker Jonathan Nichols hadn't missed a kick of any sort all season, and ended up winning the Lou Groza award for best place-kicker in NCAA football that year. That game, he missed two FGs - and Ole Miss lost by one FG.....to the eventual national champion.
Ole Miss ends up going 7-1 in the SEC, normally enough to get to the conference championship game in Atlanta. LSU also goes 7-1, but because of the head-to-head victory, claims the SEC West's spot in the Atlanta game. And Ole Miss still remains the one team (not counting A&M) from the SEC West who hasn't been to the championship game. Sign....
And the Hotty Toddy tribe surprised the Corn Dogs and took away their hopes of being the No. 1 Tribe in the Land....
Where is the video
Is the video on you tube?
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