After an extended absence, I am returning to the dating world. I will need assistance, as my Cougar days were a few years ago, and I have no idea what women over age 50 in Jackson do to meet men these days. I have an ominous feeling there are no men left in the 50 year-old age range who are available without multiple issues. Please tell me I'm wrong!
There's got to be a decent guy out there, somewhere. I'll be taking suggestions over the next two weeks or so of where to go, and what to do, to meet that one decent guy who is interested in a monogamous relationship, but nothing too serious.
A new series of posts will be forthcoming regarding "twilight" hunting in the Jackson metro area.
See my older posts from a few years ago:
http://www.kingfish1935.blogspot.com/2008/03/dwf-my-life-as-soap-opera-diva.html
(Links at the bottom of the above story to all posts.)
Please post the best bars, spots, activities, etc., in our area for singles ages 50+ (if there are any).
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
DWF Returns to the Hunt: Gray Fox Available?
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
44 comments:
Is Tom Head 50 yet?
I don't think he likes females.
Before we all start spending a lot of time on this, what happened with the guy from 5 years ago?
A woman who's out looking for a man and advertising that she needs one, won't find one of worth.
Get involved in activities. Be a happy , joyful person who is enjoying life and interested in people and you'll attract men like a magnet.
Don't look like you know how to pole dance but rather that you can be elegant at a dinner and accomplished in any room of the house!
Travel but not with large groups of women.
Make eye contact and smile but then be a bit embarrassed that you might have seemed too forward.
Like all humans, men most want what doesn't seem to easy to obtain.
The guy from 5 years ago turned out to be a nut case after a while. He was clingy and obsessive, came down unannounced once, and I had to put a stop to it. I tried returning the engagement ring twice and he wouldn't take it back, so it's sitting in a drawer.
Men who are fifty date twelve year olds. If you are around fifty, I suggest looking for someone in the 200 plus range. Because men are clueless.
"A woman who's out looking for a man and advertising that she needs one, won't find one of worth."
Well, to me, this is no different than being on one of the "dating" sites. That, too, is advertising that you would like to meet someone. I met some of the worst guys ever on those.
A woman who's out looking for a man and advertising that she needs one, won't find one of worth.
So where in the world did you get the idea that DWF was "advertising"?
Can't hide from issues, sadly. Every male who registers with Selective Service has them randomly issued to them it seems.
With all due respect to DWF, this struck me as " where are the best meat markets around?"
I'm simply suggesting that travelling to nice places,volunteer activities,going to ball games,getting involved in church activities and being a person who is accessible and engaging and who seems happy in her own skin works. I would add not too look too high maintenance...tasteful, not ostentatious.
I come from a long line of women who never get divorced and who never remain widows for long and always marry well. While not dog ugly,we are seldom the prettiest in the room. At 67, I'm still approached by men who are sad to learn I'm not available.
There's nothing special about us other than we truly like the company of men and women and find people interesting. We like to listen and in being interested , you become more interesting because you are learning and doing.
I'm just telling DFW what my mother and grandmother and aunts told me.
You can certainly meet men and maybe end up with a proposal or marriage other ways.
As grandmother said, " Anyone can get married if they set their sights low enough" and " You want to be accessible,not easily available" and " If you need a man, you won't get one. He has to need YOU".
I do a Kemper post that is more important to taxpayers and ratepayers wallets while you do schtick and get more hits. I allowed you to post, why?
My male suggestion, after years of experience, is just be a lady in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. Just be versatile.
I don't know, Kingfish, why did you? :-)
Unfortunately DWF, you're too close. I have a 60 mile buffer on big game hunting near my home. Otherwise, I'd gladly stuff and mount another cougar.
Seems like the woman should post a picture.
I'm asking where to meet people, not advertise. I'm not posting a picture.
Sugar go to the state capital, or whatever watering hole the politicians gather. Neither should be hard to find.
You will do well if you meet a man who takes a bath. In my experience men stop being well groomed around age 50. Can't explain it but even well dressed men smell musky.
DWF, have you tried Christian Mingle? I met a very sweet ex-nun who had just left the convent. Seems to be as pure as goat milk soap. Loving it with my none.
I'm all about suggestions. Ticos, any day after 4:00 p.m. when legislature is in session. Only single men go to Ticos. Burger King in Madison and Motel 6 in Jackson are both good spots to find eligibles. The Wing Stop, just across the Spillway is a cool place to hang out. Or grab a bar stool early at Bonefish Grill. A good ice-breaker is, "Y'all know anything about Hot Tamales?"
As my mother said, when I suggested that she perhaps go out to dinner with a nice gentleman after she was widowed in her fifties,"Sweetheart, I don't need some old man. All they want is a NURSE or a PURSE."
DWF,I have spent the last 30 minutes reading you posts from five and six years ago,as well as your post today.I enjoyed the wisdom of an older,experienced woman expressing herself in such an enjoyable,easy to relate to way.Grew up in Jackson and loved it.That was 30+ years ago. My thinking brings me to the conclusion that to start asking strangers where to go to find a man in 2013 Jackson doesn't seem consistent with your obvious intelligence as demonstrated by your writing. Good Luck with your search. Be Happy and be Smart.
Table 100 has an Early Bird Special menu, and is wheelchair accessible. Their Bloody Mary's are good too.
Ya'll have lost your minds!
DWF as a man who remarried in his 50's after being single a long time, you have some good advice from the other posts. Be active and approachable. I personally found that Jackson does not have a large pool of talent to pick from. I met my new lady while traveling with a couple of friends. Beware the well intetiioned friends or family who want you to meet the perfect person...usually nuts.
This is not hard. Figure out what you're looking for and then go where that type hangs out.
For example, if you want a middle-aged, red-faced, pot-bellied, borderline or full-on alcoholic with self-aggrandizement issues, I recommend any of the legislators' haunts or Oxford on a football weekend if you'd like all that accompanied by an unhealthy obsession with young males.
Want an outdoorsman? Take a shooting class or two.
Want an intellectual? Hang out at your local bookstore like it's a coffee shop or library. Or take some adult ed courses at Milsaps or somewhere else.
Want someone who's active? Join a tennis league or start going to one of the several Fleet Feet or Stinky Feet group runs each week.
How about a traveler? There are plenty of places that specialize in singles trips. Bon voyage!
Another one to consider is to figure out what makes you happy and go do a lot of it. Sooner or later you'll find someone who likes the same things.
Alternatively, you can sit at home with a bunch of cats and alternate between watching Lifetime and trolling Internet dating sites. Entirely up to you.
Go to Zoosk, show a few pictures with a little skin.
Consider that DWF may not be all that desired or desirable. By the time a man makes 50 plus, he's been around the block a time or 2 also, and been taken as a sucker. I'm 50 plus, single, and have no desire to have a cougar, or ex-cougar to keep. There are many looking for cruises, meals, sparklies, and other amenities for a man to provide, with little or no reciprocation. What does DWF have to offer?
If you like men in overalls, try Miss. State on a football weekend.
That is best suggestion yet! MSU men are awesome !!
what happened with the guy from 5 years ago?
I suspect he found out she is pathetic and sad, much as her original post is.
KF - I am appalled you are posting these nasty personal attacks. She does not deserve this abuse.
"A woman who's out looking for a man and advertising that she needs one, won't find one of worth.
Get involved in activities. Be a happy , joyful person who is enjoying life and interested in people and you'll attract men like a magnet.
Don't look like you know how to pole dance but rather that you can be elegant at a dinner and accomplished in any room of the house!
Travel but not with large groups of women.
Make eye contact and smile but then be a bit embarrassed that you might have seemed too forward.
Like all humans, men most want what doesn't seem to easy to obtain."
What lovely advice! Do you collect old issues of Coronet, or are they on microfilm, now, at the library? Of course, there were all those wonderful Coronet movies, like 'What to Do on a Date?', and 'Going Steady'. Too, there were valuable lifesaving films from Sid Davis, like 'Girls Beware'.
Again, that was wonderful advice! All I can add is that, "Boys don't respect girls who listen to dusty stories."
I went to State on a duck calling scholarship, and majored in cow tipping. One of the things we studied was pedigrees. I wonder if DWF is registered, has papers, or knows anything about her lineage? Her breeding and offspring would be a significant factor in making recommendations.
Yep, I have papers from Ole Miss and my ancestors used to beat your ancestors in checkers.
Help us get a little better snapshot of you.
On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being completely liberal ant 10 being completely conservative, where are you politically?
As far as career progression, are you climbing, have you plateaued, or are you descending? And how far up the org. chart have you gone, again on a scale of 1-10 so that you don't have to be too specific.
Still on the topic of your career, where have you spent more energy: career or family/social pursuits?
Ole Miss heifers were classified as cutters. Their papers were not recognized outside of Oxford, therefore not recognized as a pedigree, and were deemed as bologna.
4
Plateaued - probably can't go up further
2 people upwardly between me and the big boss (8)
Career until about 5 years ago, more family and outside interests
What's your sign?
First, make sure you aren't being too rigid in what someone else has to be. You'll find more potential matches if you're the puzzle piece with the neat, rounded part rather than the crooked, spade-shaped piece. It's fine to keep your standards, but be realistic about how many puzzle pieces in the pile will match you.
Second, you have to accept that what you've tried in the past hasn't worked. That's just the facts. You mentioned 2 divorces. The reasons aren't important for this, but they are proof points that some thing(s) didn't work out. Maybe it was them and maybe it was you, but figure it out and be honest.
You're successful and I'm assuming you've got a world view that you'd describe as more "progressive" than your parents'. Figure out how those traits manifest themselves in your actions because that's how you're perceived. Now make sure those perceptions conform to your geographic reality. (Or vice versa.) Put another way: consider changing your attitude or changing your latitude.
Forget what books, magazines, movies and Oprah say that men want.
You can expand the hunting grounds by going to new places or you can expand the hunting grounds by widening your field of view.
Like Avery said at 10:53, "figure out what you're looking for and then go where that type hangs out." Problem is, it doesn't sound like you know what you're looking for other than a 50-something decent guy without issues who's willing to be monogamous.
I like that, 1:21
So, adventure number 1 will be Bonefish for happy hour next week.
Most of the good ones of either sex are taken. Who would be monogomous but only occasional? Who most older ladies need is a guy twenty years their junior for once a month servicing.
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