Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Time to Partaaaay!!!

Check this list to see if your hood gets a Chokwe Tour Stop. No word if Kenny Wayne and J-Rock Horhn will attend.


meople said...

all on the tax payers dime im sure...

reximus said...

I'm guessing that's Parham Bridges South on the itinerary.

Shoot 'Em Up Parade said...

Not botherin' to click to read fine print but will bet five points aka Freedom Corner on here or at least will get a 'swang by'.

Anonymous said...

Except for the addition of the ward events and the repetitive use of "People"in the advisory the inaugural activities appear to be along the lines of what we have seen with prior mayors elect. Mayor Johnson selected the then newly opened Convention Center for the 2009 swearing in and evening gala, and will be used again. Traditionally, private funds have been used to pay for inaugural events, and Merrida Coxwell has been soliciting contributions this time. The Inaugural Chair, Wilma Scott, is the director of the Jackson area office of the USEEOC.
As for Senators Horhn and Jones, my impression is that they will find the Lumumba event comparatively stayed. The Mayor- elect doesn't drink. Horhn endorsed the other guy. I hope Northeast Jackson will accept the invitation to attend the Ward One event at Parham Bridges. Councilman Whitwell has wisely devoted his leadership to improving the park.

Anonymous said...

Improving the park? For whom? Certainly not for the average Jacksonian. Whitwell's "improvements" are ripping out all of the wonderful trees for more tennis courts.

Anonymous said...

"The People's Inaugural Celebration"? Damn, he just went straight for the folk-socialist rhetoric, didn't he?

I hope the People's Revolutionary Guard (formerly JPD) will be on hand in case the people start throwing themselves at the Dear Leader's feet.

Anonymous said...

Was this the group I saw pictured with Lumumba - approximately ten black folk and one odd looking, overweight white dude I didn't recognize? Good to see him kicking off the term with an air of diversity. More of the 'we in charge' attitude.

Anonymous said...

He's going to ward 1? Amazing.

Anonymous said...

Over weight weird white dude = Bill Chandler. I was glad to see he made the transition team. What a bunch of freaks.

Pugnacious said...

The real Lumumba(Patrice) was liquidated by orders from POTUS Eisenhower to agent Larry Devlin at the DIA in January 1961, just days before JFK was sworn in as POTUS. And in a strange twist of irony, all that copper that the Belgian minning companies coveted in the Congo is now "owned" by Mississippi's own "CopperBug" Richard Adkerson, CEO of Freeport MacMoran. Adkerson is an honor graduate of MSU's business school and is a "behind the curtain" mover and shaker in Mississippi politics.

Devlin's statement on Ike's role in the "liquidation" of Lumumba at 5:36.

Longtime Jackson Resident said...

So, what is this "team" going to do? Any whites with city jobs and city contracts better get ready for the "transition." It's going to be an 80/20 black/white diversity thing for the next four or more years. Anybody want to bet that after the celebration there will be vendors who won't get paid? Just like the Stokes bus deal.

Anonymous said...

yawn.... what is so funny, now that da peoples have elected, um, what ever he is, the bold new city is dead and you don't even know it.. heck, sugar ditch is looking better and better!

Anonymous said...

Anticipating the impending love fest @ Parham Bridges the Chuckster's voters decided to hold a carjacking there yesterday. No word yet out of the Twitterwell whether or not carjackings and other crimes will help attract bigger tennis tourneys.

Anonymous said...

Drive by Parham Bridges Park one morning and see who's walking the trail. The apartments across the street are HUD. There will be plenty of enthusiastic Ward 1 residents to come get some free barbecue or whatever and enthusiastically greet the president-elect of Kush.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS