Friday, June 28, 2013

Bold New City. Bold New Crime. Updated again.

See end of post for latest updates. 

There is more crime taking place in the Bold New City and unfortunately the perps are getting more bold. This FB message was posted last night:

"Jackson Facebook Friends- I'm not sure how the postings of the crimes I endured were deleted, but somehow they were. I need to tell you ladies what happened this Tuesday. A friend of mine was driving down I-55 at the Waterworks Curve Tuesday morning around 9:00 AM. A man pulled a gun on her and shot into her car. Luckily, after removing some glass from her body, she is ok. The person who shot into her vehicle has the same description as the guy who pulled a gun on me while traveling down Old Canton 11 days earlier. I don't know if it is road rage or something targeted. JPD is on it. The suspect is 18-22 skinny B/M. Both times he was wearing a tank top and hat. Both times it was a weekday around 9:00 AM. For me he was driving an old 4-door beat-up brown and gray car. For her, he was driving an old truck. BE CAREFUL."

She posted this earlier message:

"Lets not forget the same day I had a gun pulled on me, I went into Dollar Tree at Maywood Mart and was followed in the store, in the parking lot and apparently they, found my neighborhood. xxxxxxx and I were able to get their tag number and a picture of the car. The deputy chief I spoke with yesterday said they are seeing more of instances of women being followed from stores to their homes and being robbed. So be alert. Keep your doors locked and your alarms on. Be careful!!"

I'm not posting her name. Any comments containing her name will not be posted. She gave me permission to post these messages. I called JPD and was referred to the precinct commander. I left a message for him but he has not yet returned my call. This is not gossip or a chain letter as I have communicated directly with one of the victims. I will post more information as it becomes available.

Update: I spoke to the victim this afternoon. She was turning onto Old Canton Road by Pear Orchard. Car decided to try and come into her lane.  Nearly ran her off the road. Then she wound up too close to him at Ridgewood and Old Canton Road. He pulled out a gun and pointed it at her car.  She immediately turned left into oncoming traffic and sped south on Ridgewood. He didn't follow her.  The other victim was definitely the receiver of gunfire as it shattered one of her rear windows.   The police were called in both instances.  The Sheriff told me he knows about this case but JPD is conducting the investigation.  This is a real case. I have the name of the other victim and have not been able to contact her at this time.

Update II: I spoke to the victim in the Stack shooting.  She was driving to Hattiesburg on I-55 South and approaching the "Stack".  She said a blue truck was behind her driving "crazy" after she passed the Pearl River.  She said the suspect was leaning out of the window while holding an object as he passed her car.  She said he was a black male wearing a tank top and baseball hat.  One of the rear windows in her car suddenly shattered.  Glass flew all over the interior of her car and she received several cuts.  She called the Mississippi Highway Patrol.  MHP advised her to drive to the nearest police station.  She drove to JPD.  JPD took a report and also contacted law enforcement officials in Rankin County. The police advised her a bullet caused the damage.  She also received medical treatment for her injuries.


90 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, one of the victims who is probably the most "look at me" drama queen I have ever encountered. I'm calling bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Why not? These morons see their new mayor as one who had no respect for the police or any other authority at their age so why not continue the trend.

Anonymous said...

Me too. The story this morning on th eKent and Larry show on WJNT, was that it was a blue truck firing away on the stack. I'm calling bullshit too.

Anonymous said...

This is not BS. It's true. I am female, and also had someone fire at me on Pear Orchard, near Old Canton Rd. The police took a report, and that was it. The vehicle was an older model Buick, dark gray or black with bad fading.

Anonymous said...

If someone 'fired on you', what did they hit? The car? You? The roadway? Nothing? Did they overtake your car going the same direction or were they passing you in an opposite direction? How many were in the other car? Who fired..a passenger or the driver? Was it a pistol or a rifle?

clintonrebel said...

I smell something being stirred up for sure. Surely somebody in the media would be all over this.

Anonymous said...

My wife had someone pull a gun on her while driving down 220 pulling onto I-55. 3 black males were in a vehicle, tail gating her. They pulled up beside her, the one in the back pointed a pistol at her. Then they pulled in front of her and slammed on their brakes. She said she almost had to stop in the middle of the interstate. Guess what JPD did about it?

Yep. Nothing.

Anonymous said...

Dear 11:26: I was too scared to look to see the make of the weapon. They fired at me while I was driving, but did not hit me or the car. I assume the bullet must have hit a building somewhere, seeing that I was close to the old Blockbuster store. They were behind me, followed me from the mall, and then came up beside me. It was a passenger. I'm sure it wasn't a rifle or I would have seen it. All I saw were a driver and the passenger.

Now that you have all the details, are you going to do something? Will you contact JPD and ask why they don't let people know? Or will you simply keep slamming people trying to warn others to be more aware of their surroundings?

BTW, Milk of Magnesia helps with your problem, somewhat.

clintonrebel said...

yeah, if I get shot at (and apparently all of my friends too) I'm going to go to a conservative website to alert everybody on a talk board. When the media (even Kingfish) actually interviews somebody that this happened to and the story actually stacks up, then I'll be alarmed.

Anonymous said...

Clinton rebel is right. Someone is just trying to stir crap up. Reminds me of that story where methheads were supposedly putting HIV infected needles under gas pumps in florida. Another false story to scare people. If this did happen, then I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that it didn't, in which case you need to get a life if you're spreading this.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if any paralegals or nannies/maids get bonused to reply with "yes it is true" type comments?

Anonymous said...

I workout with the girl whose vehicle was shot on the stack. The bandaids all over her elbow from the glass cutting her would tend to make me believe it happened. Not everything reported is to seek publicity. This is happening in Jackson. Random shootings of people driving down the road.

Doubting Thomas said...

11:57: What the hell would you like me to do about it. I questioned your story so I had additional questions I wanted you to answer. Surely you would know if a pistol were fired or if it was a shotgun or rifle. Since the whole event was over by the time the police arrived, what would you prefer they had done at that point? What did they NOT do that they COULD have done. If these men followed you from the mall to the Blockbuster on Old Canton at Pear Orchard, that's over three miles. Are we to assume you simple watched them in the mirror for three miles? And that their car was within four feet yours yet the shooter missed your car when he shot at you? Pardon me for being skeptical, but I never take anything at face value. Particularly obvious bullshit.

Anonymous said...

"more bold"
bold bolder boldest
thug thugger thuggest
N'est-ce pas?

Kent (of Kent and Larry) said...

It definately happened.....I know!!

Anonymous said...

12:55, the stack is in Rankin County, FYI. Not that it matters because this story is obviously made up. Sounds like something from snopes.com

Anonymous said...

12:55, the stack is in Redneck Rankin County, (probably where this bullshit story started). Kent I still call bullshit and learn to spell, if this is really you.

Anonymous said...

Reading these comments make me ask the people who claim it is B/S, is just because you have not heard about it on the news or did not see it actually happen, do you believe every one is lying or trying to stir up trouble?

Anonymous said...

doubting Thomas - go up a size on your tampex.

Anonymous said...

So how do you turn the Waterworks Curve into being the Stack? No wonder you fools don't believe anything, you can't even read.

Sometimes there are shots to scare people, so would 12:57 be happier if the person was now dead? Geesh. Go take some of that Milk of Magnesia and pop a valium while you're at it. You definitely have a cob up your ass.

Anonymous said...

It's pretty easy to confuse the stack with the waterworks. It smells to me like Donna's minions are working overtime to disprove something that 2 separate women have said happened to them on separate occasions. One of the women I know... She is a lucid, educated professional and she has no reason to lie.
I read both women's descriptions of the events on Facebook. They did not sound like they were making it up.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, ClintonRebel
Surely the media would be ALL OVER THIS. Just like they were about the robberies at the churches. Oh, wait, they didn't say shit until it showed up on this conservative website. I notice you didn't respond to the person @12:55. Why didn't you call bullshit over that? Asshole.

Anonymous said...

1:53 read 11:12. Kent and Larry swore this happened on the Stack. this morning. B/S CALL.

Anonymous said...

1:53... in addition to the comment at 11:12, you can look to comment at 12:55. First it's waterworks, then it's the stack. Inconsistency: the mark of an untruth.

Anonymous said...

What happened to my wife on 220 is not a lie. She called me absolutely horrified. I also believe the other two stories. I mean this is Jackson. Nothing should surprise people anymore.

Anonymous said...

I can tell some of you want this to be true so so so bad

Anonymous said...

And I can tell you want this NOT to be true, so so so bad.

Anonymous said...

To all the skeptics - fine, ignore it.

But please sign your organ donor card before you go out on the road again.

Anonymous said...

Too many varying descriptions of auto, location & weapon. Only constant: Black male(s). But it must be true 'cause we heard the 'blue truck' version on the Kent & Larry show.

Anonymous said...

WILL ANYBODY IDENTIFY YOURSELF??? ANYBODY? Stack, Waterworks, 220. WF'g ever. Liars pure and simple. LIARS.

Anonymous said...

It's not Donna you dumbforks. Far from it, total different socioeconomic strata. Funny to see the site owner pandering to the female in question. Not surprising, but funny.

Anonymous said...

Uh oh she's about to go live at 5!!

Anonymous said...

If it were true, you and the people who claimed these events happened would have the courage to go public with your names and faces. More BS by the We-hate-Jackson crowd.

Anonymous said...

I am the comment from 12:55. She was driving down 55 and yes technically had crossed into rankin county for all of a half mile. She was on the stack on her way to exit towards Hattiesburg when the guy pulled up beside her and fired at her car. The bullet went through the passenger side window. Luckily I guess the angle was away from her as she was not hit by the bullet.

And I am sure some smart ass will say wait, if she was going to Hattiesburg how did the guy pull up on her right when she should have been in that lane to exit. Again this story has to be bullshit.

I don't know. Maybe she hadn't gotten over yet. I didn't really press for details to that extent since one of my friends had some random asshole shoot out her car window for no apparent reason. Believe what you want. Just hope it doesn't happen to anyone else.

Anonymous said...

NAME

Anonymous said...

Watching the news RIGHT NOW.

Anonymous said...

I know the names of the women. Half the people on my FB feed are talking about it. Not sure why KF wont let their names appear here. Maybe they asked him not to.

Anonymous said...

Still not on the news. LIAR. And we all know that angry white man Kent Dear of the famous Kent and Liar Show can be trusted. Couple of old right wing bigot windbags. They need to put their sheets back on.

Anonymous said...

HMMMM wasn't on the news either.

Anonymous said...

5:22
yes, to please you, if my wife gets shot at, i will give you our names, address etc. hope your partner gets to prove how it feels.

Anonymous said...

After all, it WAS reported on Facebook, so it has to be true.

Anonymous said...

Ok 6:32. Humor us. At least tell us what city you live in.

clintonrebel said...

thanks 2:02. I mean Ross Barnett. Seriously

clintonrebel said...

Kent and Larry, the folks that swore the black guy didn't get run over by a racist from Rankin county while cruising in south Jackson. I'm one of the few remaining white dudes in Hinds County, but unless some people step up (besides I know somebody that knows somebody) I'm calling bull dick. We have enough problems without making stuff up. If you want to flee to Rankin or Madison, at least quit lobbing grenades back home.

Anonymous said...

Hey trash talker, yep, you. Im having dinner just now and reading how you have nothing important to do with your time. I will be back when Im done with a few words for you.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget Al Qaeda is hiding under your car at Hops and Habanas' parking lot. I got an email about it. First they jab you in the foot and when you look down, they grab your noonies. Please be careful, its all over the internet.

Anonymous said...

Aww all that hype and drama and they didn't show it? Maybe at ten. This woman has a tendency to get caught in a lie, then truly run with it for a long time to try to vindicate herself. Gosh it'll go on forever now. Bet they are spellbound at the country club.

Anonymous said...

why doesn't she and her husband just sue somebody and make it all right.

Anonymous said...

I was kidnapped and had a 9mm stuck to my temple a few years ago. I spent the evening locked away in the truck of a car.

Let Donna's crowd spend a night like that in the bold city and it maybe just might change their viewpoint.

Anonymous said...

sounds like al sharpton's reaction when he first got questioned about tawana brawley....how dare somebody question that it happened? I heard it did!

Anonymous said...

Well the new Chief is coming from within Lindsey Horton.

Anonymous said...

Hope so. Lindsay would be great. Class act.

meople said...

Sounds gang related so it will probably get worse... What color hat were they wearing? I bet the same color... Black as in VICELORDS AKA FOLKS. Remember back in the day @ Metrocenter?

Anonymous said...

These Sumbitches wouldn't care if Barrack or the Good Lawd Allmighty was Mayor. They would still be specimens that should have been spat !!!!!

Kingfish said...

Few time I've seen Mr. Horton was at E911 council meetings. Was professional and seemed like he knew what he was talking about. Also seemed like the kind of commander I wouldn't want chewing my ass and wouldn't put up with any bull.

noel said...

So, If I go to Hops and Habanas, they'll grab my noonies? OTW

Anonymous said...

Trash-talker, I'm finished with supper. And I'm here to speak to you, now, and I'm doing so because we come from the same place, the same roots, the same people, which, however, you are attempting to divide when danger lurks. The victim who reported her experience on FB and to the Press has done so to protect you, but no mind, you are not deep enough to comprehend this. Not smart enough, wise enough, schooled enough. That is crystal clear. You are picking a brawl, slandering, and cutting down your own. The lowest of the low, scum of scum, the least trusted among the most untrustworthy. I have figured out exactly who you are, from several states away. If you are a part of this criminal enterprise that has attempted to overcome the citizens of Jackson because you remain unemployed and uneducated, you will be tried. Be careful with your appearances here, and in other on line venues, Dear, because you are defaming an earnest woman and her child who were victims of crime, crime which you should care about defeating.

Anonymous said...

Trash-talker, not one more negative comment about the victims here. If you want to fight, and sling hate, sling it my direction; I believe you are an absolute coward for sitting behind your computer screen and generating controversy; and I'd like to take you on. You are an absolute hater. Bring it, Louse.

In fact, any one here demeaning victims, bring it my way, let's get to the heart of this. Otherwise, be seated and stay seated. Good people are trying to make a difference. You don't fit in that category.

Anonymous said...

This one of the more idiotic comment threads on this site, and that's saying a lot.

Let's say you are shot at. The driver hasn't been arrested yet. You don't know where he is, or if he'll ever be caught. Do you take the risk of putting your face & name on the news, just so people don't think you're "faking"?

Female Victim 1 is well-known in this area, and finding her wouldn't be too damn difficult. Female Victim 2 also wouldn't be too tough to search out if you were so inclined. Both are mothers. Both would probably not want the still free shooter knowing exactly what they look like, their full names, what city they live in, etc.

Your need for some trauma porn verification doesn't trump their concern for the saftey themselves and of their families. You have the right to know shootings occured, you don't have the right to know every little detail that could put someone's life in danger. Nope, you just don't. Period.

In short, the police took the reports and are investigating, so apparently they don't think it's bullshit.

I would say that I know both women, saw one the day after the shooting happened, saw the glass in her car and the cuts on her, buuuuuut Hell, y'all don't believe a damn thing unless it personally bites you on the ass. So I won't go down that road.

Calling BS said...

Kingfish must be out of town. Who's minding the store here? JJ credibility is going down the shitter due to tabloid bullshit like this entire thread.

As an example of just one of forty bullshit claims, here we have one 'witness to injury' claiming the woman had glass cuts on her elbow and the last poster saying he 'saw cuts on her butt'. If she was sitting on her butt, how did she get cuts on her butt and was her elbow up her butt at the same time?

Whole thing is total bullshit. If his bizarre, published, preoccupation with Donna Ladd doesn't bury Jambalaya this kind of crap will.

PS: What's a 'tampex'?

Anonymous said...

Dear "Calling BS": The story was on WJTV last night. I doubt an entire news piece was fabricated.

Anonymous said...

Trash talkers on here must be thrilled that we have a verified shooting of a woman and killing of a dog in Eastover. Just thrilled, aren't you, assholes.

Anonymous said...

Have I missed this on the news? Such a story with so many victims of a perceived serial criminal should be on all local news. They will mask your identity.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, post the police reports. Redact the personal info.

Anonymous said...

8:33. WJTV!!!! Good Lord the home of Ross Adams. Wonder why the "story" is not on their website?

Anonymous said...

11:34. It is not on ANY local website including the Clarion Ledger. Why? 15 seconds of fame for a handful of liars. Didn't happen.

Kingfish said...

Let me see. Spoke to one victim twice on the phone. Exchanged emails with another. Spoke to the Sheriff. They all said the same thing. I'll file for the police reports next as I always do. This must be Iwritepoetry. Same juvenile, ignorant but confrontational style I see on the CL website.

Banging head on the wall in sheer frustration said...

To 6:44:

I did NOT say I saw cuts on her BUTT, I said:

I would say that I know both women...that I saw cuts on her, (that's a comma, indicating a pause) BUUUUUUUUUT (emphasis added, one "T" indicating the word "but" and not "butt" as in the buttocks, she does not have cuts on her buttocks as far as I know), y'all don't believe a damn thing unless it personally bites you on the ass. So I won't go down that road.

If punctuation and reading comprehension aren't some of your talents, 6:44, I'll simplify that paragraph:
I saw Victim 2 the next day. I saw the cuts on her legs, ankles, arms, and elbows from the shattered glass. You aren't going to believe the story because your car wasn't the one shot.

I honestly don't understand why half of y'all are so eager to turn reported shootings into some conspiracy against Jackson and vilify these women WHO WERE ALMOST KILLED. What is wrong with you? How do you have this much instant hatred for these productive members of our community and city who were attacked?

While my hair is still on fire, I'll say this. Shooting Victim 1 wasn't in the car with Shooting Victim 2. Victim 2 was on I55, going south towards Hattiesburg, taking exit 94 and going over the large curving bridge toward Hattiesburg. Victim 1 mispoke when she said "Waterworks Curve." It happens. They are both curves in I55. Victim 1 got the exact spot incorrect. Holyjeezmustbemadeup!!!

Anonymous said...

I used to live in Jackson too, until the crime got to me. I was attacked by Manbearpig. Yes, Manbearpig - he is real, and he is black. He burned our whole house to the ground while chanting "OBAMA!". Now I live in the suburbs and everything is so lovely. My friends and I carpool to the bass pro shop and to wal-mart regularly. There are no black people living in my city, and the police knock on our door every night at 9:00 pm just to be courteous and see how we are doing. Every once in a while we return to Jackson to ride around and throw beer bottles at black people, but that's only once in a blue moon.

Please Kingfish, let me know where I can give you my contact info so you can post a story about me as well. My story is real!

-IH8JXN <3

Anonymous said...

12:18 I know you must be enraged. I am just confused. Who berates crime victims? What kind of person is so desperate that they berate women who've been shot at? Can they prove it is untrue? No. They can't.
The only thing that I can come up with is that they are over eager to scream and shout that it must be a lie, because if it is true can you imagine what this means? It means that you can't safely drive around, minding your own business. And that could have wide ranging implications for where people choose to live, shop, eat out, and work.

Car 54 Where Are You? said...

Kingfish and goobs: Nobody is questioning the authenticity of the Eastover crime. What's being questioned here, and what brings the blog's credibility into question, is the several bullshit claims of people being shot or shot at on roadways. But, hell, we read it on the internet, and you know what they say about that.

Police reports are public record. If crimes have occurred and reports have been taken, it's silly to claim you need to redact names. Or, perhaps now you'll claim the 'next of kin' haven't yet been notified.

Anonymous said...

... and what brings the blog's credibility into question ...

Authoritatively stated anonymously. ROFLMAO. Start your own gig AND get over yourself.

Anonymous said...

Multiple cars broken into tonight at a Fundraiser for Little Lighthouse. Windows broken a nd Guns stolen. But there is no crime problem. Hands over my ears and my eyes, I don't want to know otherwise.

Magnum PI said...

"Jackson Facebook Friends- I'm not sure how the postings of the crimes I endured were deleted, but somehow they were..."

The ole deleted Facebook posts. That makes me question all of this. I don't want to see police reports. I want to see pictures of shot cars. I doubt anyone that goes on a facebook rant would not post pictures if this were true. The cops would definitely take pictures.

Anonymous said...

I don't want this to fade away. I don't believe it happened but want to know. ARE THESE PEOPLE LIARS OR NOT?

All of you saying these events happened need to show some proof. Even YOU KF. Make us apologize and clean egg off our face or admit it was a hoax perpetrated by anti Jackson liars.

Kingfish said...

I'm requesting copies of the police reports tomorrow. That takes 7 business days. The Sheriff confirmed it for me. Guess that's not good enough for you. I suspect when I post police reports you will move the goalposts again and demand something else.

Anonymous said...

Depends on WHAT is in the report. How definitive.

Kingfish said...

That will be your problem. Not mine.

Watchful Eye said...

Kingfish is bought and paid for. His pattern of censorship is curious. Apparently the right people are responding to his requests for contributions.

Anonymous said...

10:08. Please lay off. The all-caps and anger is starting to get a little silly. Do you not think there is going to be some back-lash for all of that when Kingfish posts the police records? I'm not completely sure the incidents happened either, but just chill out and quit foaming at the mouth.

-Fellow Jackson resident

Kingfish said...

Watchful Eye, why don't you tell the truth. You have repeatedly tried to post comments that will reveal the identity of one of the victims. I flat out said in my post they were going to be identified.

Now because I won't let you have your fun, I"m on the take. Not hardly you trollish dumbass. There are two women here, women with children, who both spoke to me, and were threatened on the road. One was threatened with a gun, the other was shot at. Those are their allegations. I'm not going to put their identities out there in the public domain where something can happen to them. Don't like it? Oh well, not my problem.

Your comments, approved and unapproved, say more about your character than anything else.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I have a USMC sticker on the back of my car. Thugs don't want to find out what is underneath my steering wheel and how well I can use it.

Anonymous said...

Just read the report from Commander McGowen on this incident. As expected, totally bogus. Maybe Kingfish will post his reply.

Kingfish said...

In a few days I will get the same police report which I will be posting here.

I also called the commander and he never returned my call.

Kingfish said...

Just got a copy of it.

1. I called him for a comment last week and was referred to him by Officer Green.

2. The victim said she was told by the police only a gun caused the window to shatter as it did. She didn't claim to hear a gunshot. Just the pop when the window shattered. She was cut and yes, there is a medical report.

3. I have requested the police reports as stated earlier.

KaptKangaroo said...

Don't know about y'all but I have seen stories like this break on JJ only be lulled into boredom on traditional media sites. Politics is afoot; don't believe anything you read on FB, but if you see it here - wait a few days, many will find crow a delicious meal.

Personally I pray this is not a trend in the happening.

Anonymous said...

This BS trend has been going on forever on this site. Keep up. The only "trend" is the trend to pile on Jackson with BS stories. Shit give us a break. It is bad enough with just the truth being told. All these hysterical women always starting shit, and the burbanites take it and run!

Anonymous said...

Yesterday afternoon, I was headed south on I-55. As I approached the Pearl River and the Stack, my rear passenger window exploded. Did it scare the crap out of me? Yes. Do I think someone shot at me? No. However, I understand how someone might assume they were shot at if their window unexpectedly shattered. I heard about these alleged shootings last week, and I am skeptical. However, given the times and city we live in, anything is possible. If someone is out there threatening people with a gun on our roadways, they need to be caught and jailed (hopefully by our neighbors in either Rankin or Madison county). Lock and load...

KaptKangaroo said...

July 2, 2013 at 10:47 PM

Is it you? Or is it me? I'm going to go out on a limb and let you know something. You are the trend downward. Your thinking is not progressive, it is regressive. Open you mind.

KaptKangaroo said...

Bet few recognize the last sentence grammatically, phonetically or linguistically.



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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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