Wednesday, September 10, 2025

Robert St. John: The Table is the Real Destination

SOMEWHERE OVER THE ATLANTIC—Flying home from Scotland, I feel two things at once—tired and thankful. Travel always does that to me. For the first half of my life, there wasn’t much travel outside of work. The only time I made it to Europe before age fifty was on a honeymoon trip paid for by one of my food suppliers. These days, every trip feels like a gift I don’t deserve but am grateful to receive.

Of all the places I’ve been in Europe, Scotland and Tuscany speak to me most. Different in scenery and climate, but the same in spirit. The people are warm, they welcome strangers, and they take hospitality seriously. That spirit carries over into meals. Dinners have their place, but lunches often become the real heart of a journey.

The first day, right off the plane, we drove an hour out of Glasgow into the lake country. The streams, woods, and rolling hills looked so much like North Carolina that it hit me why so many Scots ended up in Appalachia. It felt familiar. Lunch that day was in a greenhouse on an estate. Grapevines hung heavy overhead, a small grill smoked just outside, and a chef turned out plates that were simple and perfect. Sourdough with salted butter. Beets charred just enough, paired with smoked yogurt and hazelnuts. A tomato salad with capers, anchovy, and basil that let the tomato taste exactly as it should.

The next day we took a boat across to the Isle of Mull. That meal may have been the most local dining experience I’ve ever had. John, the husband, is a fisherman. He caught the lobster, crab, and fish that morning on his boat. His wife, Carla, grows the vegetables and does the cooking. Herbs and flowers foraged right outside topped the plates. Every dish came from their land and their water.

The following day we climbed into vintage Land Cruisers and drove up a mountain to a bothy. I didn’t know what a bothy was until then. It’s a small stone hut, usually in the middle of nowhere. Ours had a wood-burning stove inside. Lunch was venison salami, smoked ham terrine with parsley, smoked salmon, and Scottish cheeses—Arran cheddar soaked in whisky, a brie from Clava, even a blue called Blue Murder. There were oatcakes, hummus, grapes, and sourdough. A spread that fit the place. Rustic, hearty, filling, perfect on top of a mountain.


Later in the week, we had lunch in a castle hosted by a member of the King’s Archers. His five-times-great-grandfather left Scotland for America in the early 1800s and spent time out West before returning. The massive dining room was filled with art and remembrances of that journey. The stories were almost as good as the food. Another day, sitting by the Firth of Forth with the sea breeze and a view of the three bridges, we ate halibut with courgette, apple, and Sandeman white port. Our last day in Edinburgh, after fourteen straight Scottish meals, we went back to a Chinese place my wife and I know well. Good Chinese food is nearly impossible to find back home, so it’s something we always seek out when we travel.

One afternoon we sat down to a farm lunch served family-style. Platters of roast chicken, potatoes, and vegetables came down the long table, and everyone passed dishes as if we’d known each other for years. Later in the week came a playful murder mystery dinner in a castle, and then the final night, the most Scottish of all. We dressed in full Highland dress—kilts and jackets—while a piper played us in. Our host Bill rose and recited Robert Burns’ “An Ode to a Haggis.” For a night, we stepped into their tradition, and I’ll carry that with me.

The older I get, the more I realize just how rare these moments are, and how blessed I am to experience them. Meals like these would be worth remembering for the food alone, but what made them unforgettable was the company. Harvard tracked a group of men for decades and proved what we already know—happiness isn’t about money, it’s about relationships. Another survey I read once showed that people who eat with others regularly feel less stress and better health. None of that surprises me.

I’ve been blessed with outstanding friendships all my life—some going back to childhood, others made in just the past few years. Traveling with friends is good for the soul. And I’ve realized something about the Yonderlust tours we host. My wife and I have never been into group travel. But after seven years and around 1,400 travelers, I finally figured out why ours never feel like group tours. It’s not the itinerary or the sights. It’s the three meals a day we share at the table that turn strangers into friends.

It happened again in Scotland. We laughed together in a greenhouse under grapevines. We passed bread across a castle table. We warmed ourselves by a fire in a mountain bothy with cheese and venison. The food was excellent, but the people around the table are what I’ll remember.

For me, meals have always been about more than food. When I was a kid, Sunday lunch after church was less about what was on the plate and more about who sat at the table. The same is true in Scotland, Tuscany, and Mississippi. The food is the excuse. The table is where it happens. And the friendships—old and new—are the true feast.

Somewhere over the ocean now, gratitude is what keeps coming to mind. Grateful I can still sit at a table with childhood friends, and grateful I’m making new ones in my sixties. But mainly thankful to the Man Upstairs for opening life up to me after 50 in ways I never expected.

The table is the real destination.

Onward.

Chutney Mayo

1 Tbl Olive Oil

2 Tbl Yellow Onion, minced

1/4 tsp Salt

2 tsp Garlic, minced

1/2 tsp Curry Powder

2 Tbl Sherry

3/4 cup Chutney

3/4 cup Mayonnaise

In a small sauté pan, heat olive oil over low heat. Place the onion, garlic, salt and curry powder and cook for 1 minute. Add sherry and cook until almost dry. Remove from heat and cool completely.

Once the cooked mixture is cooled, combine with the remaining ingredients. Store covered and refrigerated until ready to serve.

Yield: 1 1/2 cups


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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