The President's desire to create a new "Space Force" brings this to mind.....
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
- Presenting the Mississippi State Capitol (Video)
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
21 comments:
Just another example of hoe lame SNL has become.
I agree SNL has become lame....its not because the people on snl are less funny...its because trump is so awful that its not funny to watch things go spiraling down...
Is it funny when Trump coddles David Duke?
Is it funny when he appoints judges solely to deny people rights?
Is it funny to see taxes cut to benefit him and his friends?
Is it funny to watch Trump trash 70 year old alliances?
Is it funny to watch him berate war heroes?
Is it funny to watch him make people hate each other?
Is it funny to watch our world crash around us?
Is it funny to see prices surge and wages stagnate and jobs move over seas due to his actions?
No..none of that is funny and all of that and more is happening now.
The idea of a "Space Force" may sound comical until you think about it a bit. For starters, we have had a Space Force since the 60's with the National Reconnaissance Office. I don't have secret insider information but I do have their Wiki page:
NRO's technology is likely more advanced than its civilian equivalents. In the 1980s the NRO had satellites and software that were capable of determining the exact dimensions of a tank gun.[18] In 2012 the agency donated two space telescopes to NASA. Despite being stored unused, the instruments are superior to the Hubble Space Telescope. One journalist observed, "If telescopes of this caliber are languishing on shelves, imagine what they're actually using."
At this point, it's safe to assume that their mission has adapted to move well beyond simple reconnaissance. I don't think it's too much of a leap to think they might have communications jamming/disrupting capabilities. Could they not also be putting up lasers and other more active weapons? So, if you have a branch of the military that has the ability to observe, attack, and defend from space, you pretty much already have a "Space Force".
There will be a Space Force Academy established at a location yet to be announced.
The students will be known as SPACE CADETS.
//bada bing//
@8:58 AM: So a show that puts out roughly 70+ hours of material a year should be judged as to how "lame" it is based on a few random skits you happen to come across on the internet? On top of that you throw in "has become", as if this show used to be the pinnacle of comedic value. Newsflash, every season EVER has had its fair share of "lame" material. Pull your head out of your ass and quit acting like just because you don't like something, it is indicative of the greater value, or lack thereof, of said thing.
Complete and absolute stupidity or total disrespect for the intelligence (if any) of the American people. A purely egotistical idea to create a totally unnecessary new branch of the military, costing billions or maybe even trillions, to enhance his own "legacy" as a great leader. The Air Force already addresses these threats and can do so just fine with the proper funding and authority. A new level of bureaucracy supported by the same apologists who decry unnecessary government spending will be the icing on the cake.
I swear I remember Carter floating a similar idea back in the late 70s, but I can't find any record of it. Does anyone else remember this?
Not going to happen but it sounds cool to him so therefore it sounds good to his fawning, mindless base.
Trump is motivated by his EGO. Nothing more. He loves the idea that this would be created under his watch, damn whether it makes sense or would cost trillions that we DON'T HAVE.
Also it is a distraction tactic to draw media attention from other issues.
Thank you President Trump for not letting the world walk all over us anymore. Thank you for being strong and putting the USA first. Thank you for the vision of needing a space force as we go forward into the future. Trump 2020.
Space cadet bone spurs sure does like to spend money. I bet he’s spent over a million dollars in his lifetime on late night infomercial crap. What a POS.
Heinlein wrote a novel called "Space Cadet," about a guy training to join the Space Patrol. There will come a time, long in the future, when such an entity might make sense, but aren't we deep enough in debt already?
The military-industrial complex would love to get more taxpayer money for a whole new branch of the military, but I'm tempted to see this as just another way for the GOP deliberately to get us so far into debt that the government will be "forced" to cut back on any program that benefits only ordinary Americans instead of Big Business and oligarchs. I'm no fire breather, but all of this begins to smack of tyranny.
Keep in mind that our president is actually and openly proud of how he has taken advantage of the bankruptcy laws. The SOB has even said that it wouldn't be so bad if the United States of America were to have to renege on its debts. Now that calls for an all-time WTF response.
@10:3338 Compare the old, 70s version of SNL to the last 0 years. IT has nothing to do with the available material, everything to do witn the lack of talent and thoughful writing.
@12:59 PM. Rose-colored glasses much? The current generation is no better or worse than what SNL has pumped out for years. While there are certainly some highlights that seem to stick in the public conscious more than others, and certain season casts seem to click together more than others, the last 10? (20? 30? not sure what you meant to put there, but the bigger the number the more ridiculous a claim it is) years was no better or worse as a whole than anything SNL has ever done.
And for the record, I own many of the seasons of SNL, including the first several seasons. The majority of the sketches from the 70's are PAINFULLY terrible.
While others debate the relative merits of SNL now vs. then, I'll just say thanks, Kingfish, for this Space Force tie in. The skit is about as silly as Trump's idea, so it fits.
Space Cadet Bone Spurs? Isn.t that the name of a rock band? Well, it certainly should be.
Holy cow, 9:40. I don't care much for Trump, but you either:
A) found an alt-left website and posted verbatim OR
B) are not well grounded in reality
"make people hate each other" - He DOES have some power...
Does this mean I should pursue a certificate in Space Law?
Love the Trump haters - piling on here as everywhere.
Yes, SNL has become lamer and lamer over the years, as has most of TV. But that's beside the point.
The "Space Force" is not "Trump's plan". It has been discussed for years with bills introduced in Congress (and passed at least once by the House) for years. Different DOD positions have been taken over it, with the most recent position (prior to Trump) in favor of it but not as a separate department - opting instead to house it in the Air Force where the basics of it have existed for decades.
While I have laughed at the idea and wondered exactly what was being proposed, once I read the proposed functions (safeguarding our many satelites -both those used for commercial purposes and those we don't acknowledge that are part of the DOD's network that allow us to manage the other high tech machinery that defense has become) I have become less skeptical. Not for a new department - because I think the Army, Navy, AF should all be merged into one - but to focus on the threat makes much more sense than many other programs maintained by our government.
After 911 a new Department was formed the DHS (Department of Homeland Security). After Russia/China shoots down several satellites President Hillary Clinton will make a Space Force.
@9:40am
It is really funny to watch libtard snowflakes like yourself absolutely blowing a friggin’ gasket over our great American Presidential, Donald J Trump!!
Once the Space Force is in place Mr. Trump should direct the creation of a new military branch to combat the drones and robots that will most certainly threaten us in the near future. "Trumpian" will be a new term to describe the modern era of national defense, or will it describe egotistical bragging. Whichever.
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