Friday, August 24, 2018

Senate Passes Lottery, Hides Lottery from Public Records Laws

Update (5:00 PM) House removes exemptions from Public Records and Open Meetings Acts.  House passes bill and returns to Senate for concurrence.

Nutshell version: State creates agency that is exempt from Open Meetings Act, Public Records Act, and state purchasing requirements, i.e. bids. 

The Senate took a chance and voted to create a state lottery yesterday. SB# 2001 passed on a vote of 30-20*.  Supporters claim the lottery will produce $40 million in tax revenue during its first year and eventually reach $80 million per year. Some observations about the bill are posted below. 
*There does not appear to ban the hiring of lobbyists. 

*The bill creates the Mississippi Lottery Corporation.  A five-member board oversees its operation.  (Section 4, line 138)

* The Governor appoints all five members.  The State Treasurer and DOR Commissioner serve as non-voting board members.  All board members must be Mississippi residents.  After the initial terms are served, each term is five years.  No one can serve more than two consecutive terms.  The Governor can remove a board member (173).

*Board members get per diem and travel expenses.  The board meets monthly for the first 18 months but then only when the Chairman or three board members call a meeting.

*Board meetings are open to the public and follow public notice laws.

*The Board appoints a president of the corporation.  The Governor must approve or reject the nomination.

*MLC must submit quarterly and annual reports to the Governor, Lt. Governor, State Auditor, PEER, and DOR. The reports must provide financial information, gross revenues, expenses, and net proceeds. (322)

*Quarterly financial statements must be made available to the public within 30 days after the close of the quarter. (551)

*MLC "SHALL BE EXEMPT FROM THE MISSISSIPPI PUBLIC RECORDS ACT OF 1983." (KF note: Oh really? The Act already exempts proprietary financial information and personnel matters from disclosure.) (342, 2158)


*Proposed annual budget submitted to Board thirty days before beginning of MLC's fiscal year.  (KF note: Is this budget exempt from the public records act?).  Sauwces say that the House sill make changes to this exemption, if not strike it altogether. 

*The bill EXEMPTS MLC FROM THE OPEN MEETINGS ACT (2158)


*"Certain purchases" are exempt from state bidding requirements (2903).

*No board member, officer, or employee can have a financial interest in any vendor doing business with MLC. (482)  They can't go work for a vendor after leaving employ of MLC for a period of one year. 

* Background checks will be conducted on all  job applicants before hire.  MLC will not hire felons or a crime involving "moral terpitude."

* Lottery proceeds over $600 are subject to state and federal income taxes.

*No one under the age of 21 can buy a ticket.

*Identity of lottery winners can't be disclosed without their permission.

*Owe child support? Tough luck if a lottery winner.  MLC will withhold any outstanding child support that is in arrears.  The withholding applies to other outstanding debts owed to the state as well.

*No less than 50% of revenue must be paid to lottery winners.    Operations and expenses shall not cost more than 15% of the total revenue from sale of lottery tickets.  However, this requirement is not operable until one year after MLC begins selling tickets.

*DPS will perform full criminal background investigations on all potential vendors, retailers, and employees (1188).

*All funds generated by lottery will be deposited into the State Highway Fund until 2028.  The funds are deposited into the slush, oops, I meant general, fund after 2028.

*Yeas: -Barnett, Blackmon, Blackwell, Burton, Butler, Carter, Caughman, Chassaniol, Clarke, DeBar, Dearing, Doty, Gollott, Harkins, Hill, Hopson, Horhn, Jackson S. (32nd), Kirby, Michel, Moran, Seymour, Simmons W. (13th), Tollison, Turner-Ford, Watson, Whaley, Wiggins, Witherspoon, Younger.

Nays: Nays--Blount, Branning, Browning, Bryan, Carmichael, Dawkins, Fillingane, Frazier, Hudson, Jackson
G. (15th), Jolly, Massey, McDaniel, McMahan, Norwood, Parker, Parks, Polk, Simmons D. T. (12th), Wilemon.

67 comments:

Anon-E-Mouse said...

We got casinos because we didn’t want a lottery. All a lottery will become is a tax on poor and stupid people.

Anonymous said...

Thank heaven! A panacea that will solve ALL our state's problems and keep those billions of dollars that have been going over the border in the state! We will never be hungry again!

I wanna be first in line to piss my money away at my local Tote-Sum!

I can't wait until the state lottery corporation is running tasteful and classy ads like this!

Or this!

Or this!

Play responsibly!

Anonymous said...

This development is a admission of the bad condition of Mississippi's finances and is an act of desperation, IMHO. We need new leadership. VOTE in November, folks.

Anonymous said...

This is going to blow you away, there goes our tax cuts before we even got it.

Anonymous said...

What garbage.

Has anyone ever been to an Aaron's to price a mattress? Huge ripoff of the poor- just like this "lottery". I suppose it is the state government's chance to get in on the action with the payday loans, furniture lessors, etc to rip of the "proles" among us. Sad.

Anonymous said...

Since the Governors son in law is representing said company do they have to report that or is it exempt from open records too?

Anonymous said...

11:09 is correct. If Mississippi is only one of six states that do not have a lottery, then not only is this move a major indication of how bad Mississippi and our state government is managing its money but its also an indicator of how bad the rest of the states are doing with their money.

The necessity for having a lottery to attempt to fill the hole in the state budget is at best a panacea. How long before the proponents of it will want to hide from their support of it? Remember when the casinos came in? The casinos were going to fill all of the state budget gaps for funding education. Did that happen?

. . . .

Anonymous said...

To everyone complaining that this is a "tax": If you don't want to pay the "tax" don't play the lottery.

And this is exactly what everyone on the right screams for: Run the state like a corporation. Here the state is establishing a corporation and everyone is screaming about it being a corporation.

Anonymous said...

This will give our pols more tax money to squander but I will assure you have a very negative net effect on the economy of a state as poor as Mississippi. Not smart !

Anonymous said...

*Identity of lottery winners can't be disclosed without their permission.

If I won a ton of money in a lottery I would not want my identity disclosed either. However, I see a huge potential for fraud resulting from this.

Anonymous said...

The Governor has WAY too much control over this Board. It should be appointed with at least one other state official having appointees.

So no open meetings, no public records. What happened to transparency?

The good ole boys are frothing at the mouth.

Anonymous said...

Lumumba 2.0 is at the capital petitioning law makers for the City of Jackson to get a "cut" of lottery proceeds to fix infrastructure. And the hustle continues...

Anonymous said...

All a lottery will become is a tax on poor and stupid people.

Yeah, but I ain't stupid and I ain't poor so I don't care none.

Y'all excuse me while I cash my disability check then drive 100 miles round trip to drop 80 bucks on somethin' I have statistically zero chance of winnin'.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish your trolls need to down a couple gallons of Kaopectate.

Anonymous said...

Calm down folks. The House Bill will address most if not all of the points y'all have brought up.

Anonymous said...

Thank KF for not breathlessly publishing that the lottery was "on the ropes" like the Ganuchump did yesterday.

Anonymous said...

Anon....Stupid People are going to be Stupid People regardless...We are all responsible for our actions....
SO happy MS joined the OTHER 45 States that have the lottery....EVERYBODY is not STUPID!!! NOW.....I believe the Gulf Coast will grow to be a mini LAS VEGAS!!!! YES!!!!! ENJOY!!!!

Kingfish said...

What did he do?

Anonymous said...

Much needed, this will fix education once an for all..... oh wait, that was casinos. This will fix infrastructure once and for all..... oh wait, that was gas tax.... Oh wait, this will make stupid people believe they are not getting taxed as we raise more money for us to piss away on SLRP and PERS and fix a few bridges in the initial years. Yea, let's do it. But keep it a secret so they don't know it is really just a tax increase on people who prefer luck over hard work (which is most legislators).

Anonymous said...

The lottery will go the way of wet counties and cold beer in Mississippi stores -- it will pass. Poor folks (and more financially secure folks as well) make stupid choices and I'd rather keep the money from them in Mississippi where it will do us all more good than it would in neighboring states.

As far as lottery corruption and ineptitude go, Mississippi will have a learning and correction curve -- just like many other states did. I don't give a damn as long as my roads and bridges improve and stay open.

Hey 10:51 -- "stupid is as stupid does..." applies to everybody looking for something from nothing.

Anonymous said...

Is it certified? Will Costco sell tickets? Will they accept SNAP cards for lottery tickets?

Asking for some friends.

Anonymous said...

At least it is a tax that we can decide if we want to pay.
Name another tax where we are given the same choice.

Burke said...

I'm not so opposed to a lottery as I am to the cowardice of the Governor and the Legislature in not raising the gasoline tax to help pay for infrastructure improvement. Even South Carolina recently raised its gasoline taxes. It's always better to let the actual users pay a fair share for what they use.

Anonymous said...

Tip of the day: Don’t want a Lottery or have beliefs against one? Don’t buy any lottery tickets.

Burke said...

Adam Ganucheau is a good reporter who covers all sides of an issue. His story in "Mississippi Today" focused on a bill that was lengthy and was being taken up in haste. Not surprising that the House will have to try to prevent the possible damage that the Senate bill could do. I hope they are presently doing so.

Anonymous said...

That senator from Jones county does not believe in liberty...he thinks he knows how to spend your money better than you.

Anonymous said...

1966 - Legalizing liquor sales in Mississippi will fix our schools, repair our infrastructure, and prevent dollars from leaving the state.
1990 - Casino gambling will fix our schools, repair our infrastructure, and prevent dollars from leaving the state.
2002 - Raising the sales tax to 7% will fix our schools, repair our infrastructure, and prevent dollars from leaving the state.
2014 - Raising the sales tax at restaurants and hotels will pay for a convention center, repair our infrastructure, and keep convention dollars from leaving the state.
2018 - Passing a lottery will fix our schools, repair our infrastructure, and prevent dollars from leaving the state.

Anonymous said...

Lots of potential lottery players commenting here based on the stupidity of the statements being made.

In the first place, the bill passed by the Senate yesterday is not law yet - its an opening salvo to what will probably be a long discussion. But, shielding the winners from disclosure is a common procedure in many of the 44 states that currently have a lottery - and if I were to win, I would want it to be in one of those states. It does not lead to "corruption potential" at all but it does keep all the winner's new-found friends from rushing to their front doors.

Board all being appointed by Governor a problem? Why? What makes it any different than the Gaming Commission? Or the Commission on Environmental Quality? Or the Dept of Wildlife Commission? Or many, many others. Or, the constitutional appointment power of the Governor, by his/herself, to fill vacancies in statewide offices, judges, DA's, etc. If you want to have government run by commissions rather than by appointees themselves, what the hell difference does it make that a single elected official makes the appointments?

And of course, the oft-repeated but still untrue story that casino revenue was supposed to be used to pay for education. Despite the attempt to still sell that smelly fish, it still is as untrue as it was yesterday, or last week, last year, or ever. There was never a commitment of the casino revenue (which has been substantial) to one use - as should be the case with the lottery revenue, no matter if it is $40 Million or if it eventually reaches the lofty goals that some want to believe.

Anonymous said...

If you don’t like the concept of a lottery, don’t play. It’s as simple as that. Don’t pretend to care for the poor on this one. Where was the outrage when it was time to expand Medicade? What’s more funny is that the “moral police” commenting on this site think that their representatives are opposed to this for the moral reasons they cite. Follow the stakeholders, follow the money, follow your own brain and stop listening to those dicks under the dome!

Anonymous said...

Spare us Burke. Ganuchump is a partisan hiding behind the false notion that he works for an objective outfit that "covers all sides of an issue".

Anonymous said...

But, shielding the winners from disclosure is a common procedure in many of the 44 states that currently have a lottery - and if I were to win, I would want it to be in one of those states.

Only 6 out of 44 states allow blanket lottery winner anonymity. So much for your BS.

Anonymous said...

I believe this is part of the Mississippi Infrastructure Modernization Act which includes several measures including internet sales tax collection with everything going to MDOT.

Anonymous said...

@ 1:59 ... is there a trend there or am i missing something? cause i don’t see a thing!

Anonymous said...

@10:51

You'll just have to es'plain to all yo kin folk that they shouldn't be doin dat!!!!!

If you idiots really think that these people aren't gambling now, then you live in a la la fantasy land. If all the people who keep talking about the tax on "poor" people knew just how many back room crap games and poker games operating, it'd make your head spin!

But hey, this gives all you do gooder naysayers something to talk about Sunday morning.....all us poor down trodden people gambling, drinking and having sex with loose women, but fun is fun!!!!!

No Jewels for Vivie said...

Name another tax where we are given the same choice.

Cigarette tax. You can either buy them or not. Just like you can buy lottery tickets or not.

The difference is that the lottery ticket is 100% tax.

Anonymous said...

When are they going to start Taxing Weed. You can it just about anywhere. There must be a surplus somewhere.

Anonymous said...

No, the lottery is not a 100% tax. Your example of the cig tax is a good one, and there are plenty of others, generally referred to as use taxes. But the lottery is not close to a 100% tax - "x" amount goes to winners, "y" goes to the operation of the lottery, and "z" - the amount left, is the tax. Just as in cigs - part of the price of a pack is for the manufacture, part goes to the wholesale and retail vendor, part is for part of the national settlement (so that Dickie and Trent can continue to live in their nice lifestyles) and part is the tax.

Just as casino gambling has a tax attached (as does eating at a restaurant, or buying a new 60" flat screen) lottery tickets will have a tax attached. You don't want to pay it - rich, poor or like most of us, in-between - don't buy one.

Anonymous said...

3:36, true - but: some other states allow winners to be shielded by use of a trust, with others considering moving to allow a trust. Also, winners in even other states have been shielded by use of a protective order, thereby negating their 'openness'. Most of those that don't require disclosure are the more recent entrants into the game; the early players didn't consider it as an issue

Get to the heart of it - the reason most lottery operators want to be able to disclose the winners is for public relations. Advertising. Just like those billboards about slots winners holding a life-size check on billboards. Its not about disclosing that Joe is now suddenly rich, its to draw in more slots players.

Nothing to see here about the issue of non-disclosure of winners, except to be surprised that those in our legislature would allow this rather than falling for what the lottery managers want which is absolute disclosure.

Anonymous said...

If you make less than $10,000 a year you should get tickets for .01

If you make $500,000 a year you should pay $20.00 a ticket.

Winner takes all.

Anonymous said...

The poor need to pay their fair share of taxes. Bring it on.

Anonymous said...

I won a $1,500,000.00 Lottery in 2006 in another state. Best feeling in the world. Better than SEX! Be careful if you do win. Everyone want to be your friend. The money will flow away like water. Lamar Adams got $800,000.00 of it.
Wife left me for a younger man & took a hug chunk of it. Taxes eats you up too.

Now, I'm down to $ 20,000.00.

Good Luck Folks.

Anonymous said...

Try to keep up here.

The lottery is 100% tax in the sense that you get nothing for your money. No goods, no services, no investment, nothing but a mere chance at luck.

With use taxes you at least get something for your money (e.g. cigarettes, alcohol). That is not true with the lottery. As has been pointed out here, the return on lottery funds is under 50%, so even if you win a buck or two, you are paying more than you are making. You are effectively handing your cash to the government willingly. It's why it is commonly know as a stupid tax.

100% stupid tax.

Anonymous said...

When did the less government interference, personal responsibility, lift yourself up by your bootstraps, corporations are people crowd start caring about poor people?

Anonymous said...

Maybe next year I won't have to drive to Louisiana to play Powerball. I have a vision that one day I'll also be able to buy a fifth of Jack at Kroger's on a Sunday.

Anonymous said...

1:59 PM...yes and I remember the sales tax increase from 6 to 7% was sold as a "temporary" measure. Ha!

Anonymous said...

When do you think I might be able to contribute to this stupid tax ? '19, '20?

Anonymous said...

1:59 PM, I remember the state sales tax increase from 6 to 7% was sold as a temporary measure. We knew that was a &$%# lie.

Anonymous said...

I find this discussion very taxing.

Anonymous said...

1:59 said it all. I would love to know where all the money has gone for the casino revenue that was supposed to help the schools. Don’t we still have to send a couple of bags of items to school each year per child? I thought that the casino revenue was to put an end to sending copier paper, toilet paper and disinfectant. I guess the politicians think we have short memories. I vote every election and try my best to keep out the low life’s, but it keeps getting harder when you have no pool of candidates to choose from. Sort of like the pool of talented workers in this state who can’t read a tape measure or actually read, or have ANY type of marketable skill for that matter because OUR SCHOOLS ARE FAILING teaching. But wait, let’s build a new football stadium so the bag men can swing by, get a pic of a kid running a ball and hand it to a Coach at USM, MSU or UM. Lot of good the casino money did for us, huh?

Now, we need infrastructure repaired and I bet you if they raised the tax to 50% we STILL couldn’t get our roads and bridges repaired. As I said before this little kingdom where 200 families with money rule this state!

Anonymous said...

The St. Jude dream home raffle is a form of a lottery. The purchase of that ticket is not classified as a donation, at all. And if you somehow win the house, you have to pay the taxes BEFORE you legally acquire the property and pay the amount levied in one lump sum. How many people can do that?

Of course there are other prizes too. You get to choose weather you want to support medical research/bills/ what have you with the added "dream" of a home on the ticket purchase.

It looks like our roads need some doctoring too, along with our finances. Innocent people may die because of the financial cancer the state finds itself in. Commerce has been affected and will be affected even more. There is no law against general stupidity. Half of you, if not more, would be locked up if there was such a law without ever getting a chance of making bail seeing as how you'd be a flight risk and a danger to the community.

Voluntary gifting to the state, without coercion, is simply a better way. It won't solve all. It just staves of the beast for a couple of years.

I love the notion of purposely bankrupting err umm starving government so that it just withers away. I really really do. But I hate car damage because of a stinkin' pothole more than I love that ideology.

Anonymous said...

Another way for government to get in the pockets of those who can least afford it.

Big signs with big winners!

Can’t win if you don’t play!

What’s a dollar or two?

Next to check cashing places and citi loan shark stores and Aaron Rents....this is par for MS.

Staying last first.

Don said...

If, and when the lottery is approved, how long will it be before the lottery starts up and actually sells tickets?

Anonymous said...

Most of these "It's a tax" must have been educated in the JPS system.

Cigarette Tax......don't buy, no tax
Liquor Tax..again, no buy, no tax

Lottery Ticket, no play, no tax!!!!!!

Even if as you say only a 50% return, I'd still rather have $500,000.00 of the million I didn't have before. On the $10,000.00 I won, the taxes were nowhere close to 50%.

Besides, what business is it of yours? It's my money, none of your frik'n business how or where I spend it.

Shelby Stewart said...

Government run Corporations is fascism? Right

Anonymous said...

I don't see the needed oversight in this bill that I hoped to see.
I hope the House does fix it. KF, look at similar bills in those states where the lottery is doing well.

Beyond that, I have no objection to a lottery.

Those of you who expect that you are can control how other humans spend their money are foolish. All you can do is criminalize some kinds of money exchanges and even then, you'll argue over those when it comes to campaign contributions and tax fraud.

The fact is when you give your money to someone else to manage, they will manage it to their profit, not yours.

And, if you give that money to a person(s) with a poor history of money management and a record of dealing with crooks, you meet the definition of a fool.

It would be good to find those will a history of honesty and fair dealing who can resist temptation. Know anyone?

Anonymous said...

Even if as you say only a 50% return, I'd still rather have $500,000.00 of the million I didn't have before. On the $10,000.00 I won, the taxes were nowhere close to 50%.

Dumbass, pay attention. A sub 50% return means that on every buck you spend, you get approx. 46 cents back. That's if you play over a long period. People who play once in a while have a far lower rate of return.

Hand me a million dollars and I'll be happy to give you $460,000 back.

Anonymous said...

Everyone wants nice roads and criminals in jails. Reasonable expectations from any Government. I'm thankful we have politicians in Jackson that are willing to work in an effort to fix the problems we citizens face. It takes money to fill the pot holes and to house criminals. Other services provided by our Government are too many to list. I wouldn't want the headaches Politicians face from being criticized for attempting the impossible--making everyone happy. Reminds me of arm chair quarterbacks. More people should suit up and declare for a local/state Political Office. Great Job to everyone who worked on this bill along with everything else that never gets mentioned as so many services are taken for granted. Regardless of any thoughts to the contrary, Mississippi is a wonderful place full of very talented people.

Anonymous said...


Lottery will be used to supplement ... or supplant ... Ed funding?
Shell games ARE entertaining

Ask South Carolina

I'll buy a ticket though

I'd Like To Cash In This Roll Of Pennies, Please.. said...

For the critical thinkers who believe gambling is all tax since you get nothing for it, what about eating a fine meal out? All you get is a belly full but as soon as you take a healthy dump before bed, you still have nothing. Oh, wait...poor people don't get to eat out since they can't handle money, so dining is a vice affordable by and afforded to only the nuveau riche.

And for 8/24 @ 1:59...all those comments you claim about gambling will be taking care of the schools and will fix all our school problems and your assorted bull-shit comments about the lottery, gambling and sales tax increases fixing the ills of our education system......Post one damned link to any of that or shut the fuck up. No elected official, politician or bill ever made such a claim. Find one and post it. You can't.

Of course we will forever hear from the crowd (like leg-rubbing crickets) that claims the poor can't handle finances, this is a tax on the poor, they'll piss their money away, people looking for something for nothing who won't be able to afford shoes or food for the baby ----GOTT KNOWS! Stick a sock in that fucker's mouth!

Anonymous said...

The legislature should have passed a bill requiring all Mississippi lottery ticket sales stations to be located just across the state line in the states of Tennessee, Arkansas and Louisiana, with an additional station at the Tom Thumb store in Florida, just east of the FloraBama Beer Joint at Gulf Shores, AL. This approach to having a Mississippi lottery would assure no one in Mississippi would be forced into buying a lottery ticket somewhere other than where they are already buying it today. It would be our Mississippi lottery, but no tickets would be sold in Mississippi, thereby protecting the poor folks who live in Mississippi from this punishing Tax that some of us thought it was their right to pay if that was the choice they made.


Maybe I'll win Powerball tonight and at that point, all of you can pound salt.

Anonymous said...

We don’t need zero chance games to entice the already poor to waste what meager earnings they make/get.

I cannot wait until someone gets busted selling ebt cards for lotto tickets.

A better idea? Raise the gas tax for a certain period of time and dedicate those funds to roads and bridges.

Raise income tax rate for x period of time and use that money to shore up PERS.

This is not the way to govern.

Anonymous said...

Think about this: There were no Cash-For-Titles, Payday Loan Companies and a mere handful of pawn shops in Mississippi prior to the legislature authorizing 'Riverboat Gaming' which ain't got shit to do with boats on the river.

Anonymous said...

@ 6:29 pm, you have an idea that has been used in the past>

I believe in '85-87 time frame, they put a tax increase on gas for 15 years to four lane the 82 & 84 corridors across the state.

Well that got completed, so where is the rollback? I believe is about 6 yrs past due..... So what has MDOT been using all that money for?

Oh wait, I remember, MDOT wanted a new building and Dept of Finance & Accounting said no. MDOT tore their building down to the slab then refurbished it!!!!!! Maybe that is where all the un rolled back taxes are.

And don't even get started on the oversized ego of the ass known as Central Highway Commissioner. From dealing with his crew while working for the state, I'd say someone needs to put a boot up his ass, but since his head is already there, wouldn't be enough room.

Nope, a tax will never be placed on an issue, then stopped.

Anonymous said...

9:49 Post....You are right on.....WE are responsible for our actions...
I figure if the lottery were put out for vote it would pass 75-25....
I am tired of driving to LA and buying tickets with money earned in MS and seeing the millions LA is putting in Their Treasury...WE absolutely need the lottery in the great state of Mississippi!!!!!! AMEN.....

Important People said...

"Anonymous said... Since the Governors son in law is representing said company do they have to report that or is it exempt from open records too? August 24, 2018 at 11:24 AM"

Didn't know that. Please elaborate. I knew the governor's son in law and family were about to move to the most exclusive, upscale community in Madison County (from another). And don't overlook the fact that the Governor's daughter was magically placed as the lawyer for Madison County Board of Supervisors to the tune of 200 thousand dollars per year.

DAYUM! Feel has more power than we imagined.

Plain ol' Catfish said...

@ August 24, 2018 at 12:57 PM

At least it is a tax that we can decide if we want to pay. Name another tax where we are given the same choice.

Well said! My sentiments exactly

George Whitten said...

It should be called a "state exploittery." The typical lottery ticket buyer has a below-average income. People in the bottom fifth of combined measures of socioeconomic status have the highest rate of lottery gambling (around 61%). State lotteries make poor people poorer.

States that operate a lottery become guilty of at least three vices:

1. Governmental greed to get more of other people's money.

2. Deceptive advertising to hoodwink the government's own citizens into losing their money on lottery tickets.

3. Governmental disregard or contempt for citizens who are gullible enough to fall for the seductive come-on.

No government should exploit vulnerable people who can't resist chasing a pipe-dream with ticket after ticket.

Finally, every dollar won came from someone else's pocket. A lottery does not generate capital, produce wealth, or grow the economy. A lottery works like a leech. It is a parasite.

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Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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