Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Switch!!! (Updated)

State Senator Chris McDaniel is withdrawing from the race for Senator Roger Wicker's seat. He will run for the Senate seat that will be vacated by a retiring Thad Cochran. The special election will be in November.

Update: Governor Phil Bryant issued the following statement:

 This opportunistic behavior is a sad commentary for a young man who once had great potential. 

Senator Roger Wicker also issued a statement:

Until Senator McDaniel removes his name from the ballot for this race, we have no choice but to continue our campaign as planned. Gayle and I are grateful for the outpouring of support we're receiving from all over the state. We will not take anything for granted and will continue the hard work of once again earning the support of Mississippi voters.

96 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is sad, very sad. He has no chance in either race. Has he even been an intern in DC?? All of this effort to leave a State in which he has spent his entire life.

Anonymous said...

McDaniel is real piece of work. Since he announced for Wicker's seat all we have heard is how horrible Wicker has been. Now all of a sudden he's decided Wicker might not be so bad after all? Could it be polling is showing he wasn't going to be able to defeat Wicker? I damn sure won't be voting for this mud slinger to replace Cochran!

Anonymous said...

He's another ambitious idiot. Mississippi will be well represented.

The Accountant said...

I would not vote for Chris McDaniel for dog catcher after the way he and his supporters showed out last time. He cost the taxpayers of several counties several hundreds of thousands of dollars with the ill-conceived lawsuit of his backers. What a waste! Not to mention the other actions of his supporters regarding Mrs. Cochran. NO WAY!

Anonymous said...

The thought of this guy representing Mississippi as a U.S. senator is frightening.

Is there any real chance he might win this special election?

Anonymous said...

This is an admission that he is a poor candidate and so weak that he would rather run for an empty seat.

Anonymous said...

Stevie Wonder saw that coming.

Anonymous said...

This gives Mike Espy a very good shot at winning. Espy will have one of the two runoff spots and the GOP vote will be split which gives McDaniel a good shot at making the runoff. There are no GOP candidates that Phil can appoint which would prevent McDaniel from making the runoff.

Anonymous said...

This guy has never achieved anything or any position of leadership in the state senate. Now he wants to be a US Senator. He is a back bencher at best.

MadisonRulz said...

City council in Madison is much more prestigious.

Cornbread and Coffee said...

I'll vote for a cold bowl of chitlins before i vote for Mcdaniel

Anonymous said...

If not for Haley's machine in DC and Mississippi not having party registration requirements, he would have won his last attempt straight up. Nobody thought Trump could get so far. Many folks are living in LaLa Land. The times they are a changin'....so people should get ready.

Anonymous said...

Under this scenario, Mike Espy might become both the first African American Congressman (1986) and first U.S. Senator (2018) from Mississippi since Reconstruction.

Anonymous said...

I think Mike Espy would be a great rep for Mississippi

Anonymous said...

Typical, so much for being a “Principled” individual. Wicker should rake his narcissistic ass over the coals.

Get ready for Sen. Espy! I will not vote for that guy period and many I know won’t either. Rather have a reasonable D than him.

Anonymous said...

Madison doesn't have a 'city council', 5:58. And you're just as ignorant as the other twelve posting here. They'll all be at Krystal first thing in the morning for the breakfast special and grape jelly, headed to their 8 hour job counting bolts and screws at Ace Hardware and Wal Mart.

William E. (Bill) Fold said...

Even a novice student of sentence structure and syntax can tell that all the negative posts were written by the same guy.

Anonymous said...

What does syntax mean? Could you text it to me?

Anonymous said...

Cochran backed out. He will finish

Anonymous said...

Chris has turned out to be just another craven political swamp dweller. No different than the rest.

Anonymous said...

Espy is a true politician, ask Don Tyson.

Anonymous said...

Cochran should announce that he's changed his mind and will finish his term. Even McDaniel would realize he couldn't then decide to run against Wicker once again, and it would give the state GOP time to find a candidate to mop the floor with McDaniel once Cochran's current term expires.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn’t vote for McDaniel for Dog Catcher. BUT, the good ol’ boys of the Republican party are making a good case for having nonpartisan elections in Mississippi. If they don’t like you, they will do anything and everything (i.e. timing a resignation, etc.) to tilt the table in favor of this preferred candidates. This is a sad statement for this party and our electoral system. Elections should be open to anyone and everyone, regardless of whether the purported leaders of a party approve.

Anonymous said...

Phil appoints Haley, Haley then runs (and treats McDaniel and any other Don Quixotes stupid enough to suit up like stolen mules) and wins, Haley resigns before the end of his term and whichever MSGOPer is Guv at the time appoints a Barbourette, who then runs with the full weight of the MSGOP behind him. McDaniel, by that time, is an even bigger laughingstock than he is now. That's not a prediction, just a random thought - do with it what you will.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I see from the comments that there is still a serious contingent out here in Mississippi that is so stuck behind in the old days of the Thad/Lott/Barbour glorious old white man's day, that the mere thought of a younger candidate like McDaniel, who has already been elected to the Mississippi State Legislature, sends them to swearing that they will vote for a,a,a,a Democrat!

Yep, not just any 'ol Democrat, but one that pretty much DISGRACED Mississippi when he was a former CLINTONISTA appointed Agriculture Secretary doing what he knew best, shaking down lobbyists and corporate types for goodies and perks.

Fast forward to yesterday, ya know, modern times like the year 2018, and watch the national news just constantly crowing about a 33 year old guy in Pennsylvania named Connor Lamb, never run for or been elected to ANY office, wins by a nose-hair a Congressional seat and is hailed as the future of politics!!!

You old white men, and old men in general, and those of you that are trained to think like your daddy and granddaddy about politics, life, work, etc., y'all just stay stuck in 1975 where you belong, and stay out of Mississippi's way forward, and maybe your offspring will have a chance to THINK on their own!!!

Anonymous said...

McDaniel and any other Republican run and split the vote (no primary) and a Democrat walks away with the Senate seat. McDaniel is basically telling the people of Mississippi it's my way or the highway. MickeyD is willing to watch the ship sink if he can't be the captain.

If his group of ignorentsia are willing to drink this kook-aid let's watch the ship burn. Frankly I would rather see a Democratic Senator than vote for a man that was willing to exploit an elderly invalid to get ahead.

Anonymous said...

He could not beat Cochran. He could not beat Wicker apparently. But now he wants to take on an unnamed candidate that will certainly be more conservative than either.

Anonymous said...

Just sayin’, I can’t support a group that is lead by Feel, Feelip, and Tater. The smell just won’t let me go there.

Anonymous said...

8:24 if Cochran still had enough wits about him that would be the ultimate parting shot to the nuts of McDaniel. I wish he would come out of the fog just long enough to do just that.

Anonymous said...

Now that McDaniel has gotten Wicker and his financial backers good and worked up he shifts fronts. This is par with Hitler attacking Russia. By surprise. In the winter.

How many more enemies does CM want to make?

Anonymous said...

The Barbour Machine Establishment trolls are out in full force today.... :face palm:

Anonymous said...

I'm a moderate R and most definitely not a MSGOPer - socially pretty liberal, fiscally pretty conservative - and I'd vote for RuPaul before I'd vote for McDaniel.

I made the "Phil appoints Barbour" post above, and here's a real-world, shorenuf idea: Phil appoints Gene Taylor (the only Dem I ever recall voting for), Taylor runs and crushes McDaniel like he deserves to be crushed, and Mississippi gets just about as good as its likely to get for at least the next several years. Gene isn't perfect, but hey, he's about as decent as Mississippi has had since, well, Mississippi. Yeah, I know, that just about makes it a non-starter.

Anonymous said...

Kkkris should run and spend $10,000,000 more Koch dollars.

The Trump circus will cause enough MS people to pause and McDaniels negative hateful Christian comments will fall flat.

Espy for the win.

Anonymous said...

Everyone is always hating on Chris, but he loves the way his names comes off your lips. He’s stolen the headlines once again. Free advertisement. Well played McDaniel

Anonymous said...

Espy was personally acquitted but in December 1997, Tyson Foods Inc., the nation's largest poultry processor, pleaded guilty to felony charges of giving Espy gifts.

Our next Senator? I hope not.

Anonymous said...

Alphonso Michael Espy (born November 30, 1953) is a United States Democratic politician.[1] From 1987 to 1993, he served in the U.S. House of Representatives from Mississippi. From 1993 to 1994 he was selected to be the Secretary of Agriculture by president Bill Clinton.
In 2008, Espy became an attorney at Morgan & Morgan law firm where he handles general plaintiff’s law, mass tort, bond and governmental finance, and international relations cases. One of his notable case is Pigford lawsuit where Espy worked in conjunction with a black farmers advocacy group, the National Black Farmers Association, to represent those farmers. He will be our next senator.

Anonymous said...

I hope 9:41's hateful secular comments fall flat.

Anonymous said...

Between tea party and corporate GOP I wonder if a Democrat could be worse.

Anonymous said...

Gov. nailed it on McD.

Anonymous said...

Can we all welcome Senator Epsy, to the flow.

Anonymous said...

"This is par with Hitler attacking Russia. By surprise. In the winter. "

How'd that turn out for him?

Re: Taylor - I could live with him as a Senator except if it means Schumer becomes Senate Majority Leader......

Anonymous said...

Wuss!

Anonymous said...

I don't see why so many of you are trashing McDaniel for doing what anyone else would have done. To me he would be a fool not to switch. I have read 20 or so posts about it, yet no one has explained why they think this is a bad thing. Seems to me that Wicker will be reelected and McDaniel will win Thad's old seat, which is what should have happened last time.

Anonymous said...

I understand people on the Gulf Coast want Gene Taylor to run for the Senate.

How many votes would Taylor (D) pull from Espy (D)?

On a different note, any idea how much the loss of Cochran’s seniority and influence will cost Mississippi in terms of federal dollars directed here?

Anonymous said...

What a negative bunch you establishmentarians are.

Anonymous said...

@ 9:06

Conner Lamb was a United States Marine. Where did you and McDaniel serve?

Anonymous said...

Didn't vote for McD last time around but gotta say this is a smart gambit on his part. Makes it a real bitch for Bryant. Mississippi Republican Party gets all the blame. Stupid asses. And consider this. McD voters turning out for the Nov special at the same time vote for Baria vs Wicker and really screw the party over.

Anonymous said...

Smart move by McDaniel. He gets out of a race he was likely to lose and gets into a
race he will likely win. No matter who Phil appoints, the runoff will almost certainly be
between Chris and Espy. Chris pulls out the win.

Anonymous said...

1:03am My crystal ball says Baria will get beat by Scott in the Democratic primary. Simple demographics (see truck driver in '15 and Dupree in '11).

Anonymous said...

If Bryant appoibts Tate, Tate gets creamed by McDaniel. Tate knows he can’t beat Chris so he won’t take the offer.

Anonymous said...

Once the blue wave sweeps the country it really won't matter who wins.

Anonymous said...

Appoint Haley, he'll wipe the floor with Chris? Gtfo. Haleys name is absolute garbage with the voters. Pick your poison: pardongate, KiOr, Stion, Twin Creeks or my personal favorite Barbour boondoggle Kemper's lignite plant.

Anybody have a running total on how much Barbour has cost MS taxpayers?

Anonymous said...

McDaniel's day has come and gone. He will not get Trumps support.

Anonymous said...

An empty suit for an empty seat is Chris McDaniel's new slogan. He snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

Joseph said...

Not that I personally think the Gene Taylor talk is going anywhere, but didn't he switch from Dem to GOP back a few years ago?

Puggy Jay Jones said...

Woof!

Anonymous said...

Please, Anthony Kennedy, retire ASAP. while we can still fill your seat.

Anonymous said...

Gene Taylor last ran as (R) attempting to get Palazzo (yet another useless MSGOPer) out of the office Palazzo won from Taylor (running as a D). I voted for him as a D and I voted for him as a R, and I'd vote for him as senator, R or D. More importantly, I know lots of others who would do the same, but he did lose (about 52-48%) to Palazzo in the R primary. I have no idea if he would win, but of the current crop of possibles/potentials, he is the best I see. But most importantly, I have no idea if he would have the slightest interest in the job, appointed or elected.

Anonymous said...

Aside from all the comments I've seen here, I can't help but point out one thing that has bothered me for days. Wicker has been running ads for a week now and all he has done is attack Chris McDaniel. I'm neither here nor there about Chris but, why isn't Wicker touting his accomplishments in the Senate. Oh, that's right, HE HAS NONE. An absolute POS, in my opinion. I may vote Deamon-crat just to throw a wrench into the mix!

Anonymous said...

I think it's awesome how 9:06 both (1) supports a candidate whose platform essentially consists of yelling at immigrants, black people, and gays; and (2) lectures "old men" about being stuck in 1975.

"Woot woot! It's the hip NEW John Birch Society Television Hour, fellow kids! With your hip young host, Krazy Kris McD!" (Dabs)

Anonymous said...

Wise up people and read my lips. WE CANNOT SEND A DEMOCRATIC SENATOR TO WASHINGTON. As much as I despise Chris McDaniel, I will hold my nose and vote for whoever has an R in front of their name.

Anonymous said...

Wonder if Baria switches to go after McDaniel. His camp knows he can’t beat Wicker, was banking on McDaniel beating Wicker in an upset. But then his issue becomes can he beat Espy.

Anonymous said...

Look in the mirror establishment MSGOP. You screwed over your own voters and now you get to pay the price.

Anonymous said...

Yack Yack Yack.....Espy and Wicker are our next Senators.....period.

And for our failing military historians above....Hitler did not attack the Soviets in winter. He invaded in June you dolts. The Soviets just retreated and let them get deeper and deeper into their territory and strung out the supply lines, slowing things down. Then winter did what winters do in Russia.

If you try to make a point by using a historical event, make sure your dumb ass has the event correct.

Kingfish said...

He also got tied up in the Balkans saving Italy's ass, which took precious time away from invading Russia in summer.

Anonymous said...

McDaniel's talk about "conservatives" reminds me of the quote from A Princess Bride, "That word, I do not think it means what you think it means." For centuries, conservatism meant respect for institutions, preserving them by allowing gradual change to prevent revolution. Best definition I ever heard comes from Parade's End,"Duty and service to above and below. Frugality. Keeping your word. Honouring the past. Looking after your people. And beggaring yourself if need be before letting duty go hang." McDaniel and his fellow travelers are radical nihilists, not conservatives. He is not and never has been a Republican or conservative, no matter how many fond memories he has of Reagan. I can't wait for whomever it is that runs against him to trounce him in this race, and then whomever he runs against for statewide office in 2019 to beat him then. His money will run out long before his delusional ambition.

Anonymous said...

That McDaniel won't have Trump's support may favor Chris. Think about it. Trump is on a 'support losing streak'.

Right now my money is on David Bishop for animal control officer.

Anonymous said...

Stalin played a purposeful rope-a-dope? Nope.

Anonymous said...

Does it get more rich than Phil Bryant alluding McDaniel isn't playing by the Mississippi Republicans' house rules?

Anonymous said...

What the McDaniel supporters need to realize is that there are more Democrats, moderates, normal Republicans and normal conservatives Statewide than their narrow kind, and Wicker and Espy appeal to that majority.

Anonymous said...

Just like the Bushes voted for Hillary rather than supporting a non-establishment candidate like Trump, Mississippi's elite RINOs would gladly voter for Espy, or any other Democrat they believe will play their game, over a true conservative like Chris McDaniel who will put his principles over politics and will not be persuaded by power and money.

Everyone accusing Mr. McDaniel of "whining" about losing the last election needs to remember, or admit rather, that the only reason he lost is because Democrats were persuaded to cross over into the Republican primary. If actual Republicans had decided the race, Senator McDaniel would already be making progress draining the swamp. That scares a lot of fat cats to death, and it should.

Anonymous said...

Brevity is not your strong suit Smith.

Anonymous said...

But not enough "normal" Republicans and "normal" conservatives to carry Cochran across the finish line without the help of black Democrats.

J. Beauregard Overseer, III said...

"But not enough "normal" Republicans and "normal" conservatives to carry Cochran across the finish line without the help of black Democrats."


What what what? Since when are THEY allowed to vote for whomever they feel might best represent their interests?

Anonymous said...

This is going to be one crazy political season.

Two Senate competitive Senate seats

Phil Bryant calling out McDaniel

People actually thinking Mike Espy has a fighting chance?

I like Baria's chances against Wicker more than Espy's, believe the bigots will come out in droves to keep a black fella from getting that title of "first black Senator from Mississippi, since Blanche Kelso Bruce"

Then, of course, the dang Governor's race where Republicans are too scared to run against the little Dic'tater

Tweety Hood keeps dancing around the topic

Gilbert, of course, took the easy route of Lt. Governor - but oh well - by all the destruction Tater will impose on this state fiscally, the state will probably swing moderate blue by the time he thinks its his term to be governor.

Oh well, get your popcorn ready

Johnny Wadd said...

Everybody that has been talking about the primary for Cochrans seat, remember that there won't be a primary for the special election. There won't be a R or a D by anyone's names. This will play out like the special election did when nunnelee died. There will be lots of potential republicans and 1 potential Democrat. The potential Democrat will make the runnoff with the top Republican. If that top Republican is Chris, then the Democrat will have a real chance at winning. I hope a Gene Taylor or Brandon Presley runs, and someone talks Espy out of it. They would be great senators for us, especially Brandon.

Dee Ray said...

"What the McDaniel supporters need to realize is that there are more Democrats, moderates, normal Republicans and normal conservatives Statewide than their narrow kind, and Wicker and Espy appeal to that majority. March 15, 2018 at 1:30 PM"

You wasted a lot of keystrokes on that 'bathtub fart', 1:30. Actually, nobody outside the Canton MB churches and the Blackmon crowd give a hoot in hell about Espy.

Anonymous said...

Espy Acquitted in Gifts Case

By Bill Miller
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, December 3, 1998; Page A01

Former agriculture secretary Mike Espy, forced out of office in 1994 by allegations that he improperly took gifts from businesses and lobbyists, was acquitted yesterday of 30 corruption charges brought against him by an independent counsel whom Espy likened to a "schoolyard bully."

Anonymous said...

The jury acquitted Espy, 45, of illegally taking tickets to sporting events and other benefits from Tyson Foods Inc., the Arkansas-based poultry giant; Sun-Diamond Growers of California, a large fruit and nut cooperative; Oglethorpe Power Corp. of Georgia; Smith Barney Inc., the international banking and securities firm; EOP Group Inc., a political and business consulting firm in Washington; and Quaker Oats Co. of Chicago. Jurors also acquitted him of charges that he lied to investigators and on financial disclosure forms.

Anonymous said...

The trial had a racial undercurrent, with two witnesses -- lobbyists Richard Douglas and Michael O'Bannon -- saying they were concerned about their friend, Espy, because they viewed USDA as a racist bureaucracy. Douglas and O'Bannon, who are black, said they expected Espy to be held to higher standards than his white predecessors.

Smaltz tried to offset that testimony by telling the mostly black jury that race was not an issue.

In response to suggestions that a majority black jury in a city that is overwhelmingly Democratic was more likely to acquit Espy, Wells said, "I would like to think Mike Espy would have gotten off anyplace, because he didn't do anything."

Anonymous said...

Phil Bryant wants everyone to know that only the Republican establishment's hand-picked candidate will be allowed to play with the marbles. Drain the Governor's mansion.

Anonymous said...

Why is Gov Phil so upset?

Anonymous said...

Gene Taylor was good for this state. I'm sorry that I got caught up in the party of the person hype and voted for Palazzo. He has turned out to be just another self serving guy looking to payback his friends and supporters. If Gene would run I would not only vote for him but would donate as much as possible.

No way does McDaniel get my vote. If he were the only one on the ballot I simply wouldn't vote.

Anonymous said...

Just like people (particularly minorities and women) didn't vote for Roy Moore because of what he said; minorities crossed over to vote for Cochran because he had a long record of working with everyone and he didn't have a history of talking about heritage and the state flag and other not so subtle racially divisive statements. Yes, Cochran courted the black vote (still not sure why that is a sin) but he got the black vote because Chris McDaniel and his rhetoric scared the bejeezus out of minorities (and anyone with linear thinking). Believe me, his words will be used against him and it won't just be minorities. It will be the coast folks who don't want McD in office the next time there is a natural disaster. Or, the coast folks who work in the very industries Cochran and his influence have helped. Chris McDaniel likes to foment and stir the pot on his FB page and he will have a definite showing of his allies, but there will be a major get out the vote effort to vote for anyone who isn't McDaniel. Heritage not hate doesn't resonate with at least 38% of the population.

Anonymous said...

Hey y'all, I would like to know what's was in it for Phil how McDaniel's switch rained on his parade?

Anonymous said...

Soooo the RINOs tried to box McDaniel in by waiting until after the filing deadline in Wicker’s race to announce they are vacating Cochran’s seat, the more vulnerable seat. They played games first and got burned. Spare us all the phony outrage. You’re also playing games with the electorate.

Anonymous said...

Drain the swamp!

Anonymous said...

Feel's mad because he's already publicly stated that he won't run. Now he's got to try to find someone who can beat Chris, and there aren't many promising candidates.

Mississippi DAs for Soros said...

Reeves and Gunn are vulnerable because they have records. Hosemann or Bryant himself are really the only viable choices. A real wild card would be if Bryant appoints Michael Watson to serve until the November special.

Pender's conflation that there exists a McDaniel vs Bryant imbroglio and that it "could" split "tea party-leaning branch of the state GOP" is laughable.

By the way Smith, you've got to be the most windy ass RINO in all of Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

Not surprised that Phil's radio stooge Galtelli is already on the attack.

Anonymous said...

11:30 AM is correct, there are no good choices who can stop McDaniel. This will end up Espy vs McDaniel. Espy will win.

Anonymous said...

Premature to conclude that the black community is uniformly behind Espy because it isn't and he won't have a chance without blacks voting as the mindless skin color voting monolithic bloc he hoping to exploit. Wait until the filing deadline to determine if Espy's early announcement cleared the decks.

Anonymous said...

Just wait, I'm going to Washington!

Anonymous said...

The Governor resigns. Tate steps in and appoints Bryant to complete the term. Hosemann becomgs Lieutenant Governor. Bryant brings home the bacon being a friend of the President. Bryant runs against Espy.

Anonymous said...

at 9:41 Not a bad strategy actually, if they had the balls to do it.

Anonymous said...

Hosemann doesn't elevate to Lt Gov w/o an election. Sorry.

2016 Hottest Reporter Poll

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Who is the hottest reporter?

Archives

Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.