And there arose to the north of Eden a tribe called the Hotty-Toddys, who were also called metros. And the Hotty-Toddys were very displeasing; they didst place centerpieces on their banquet tables, and didst exalt themselves much. And they didst glorify the southern kingdom of the past.
And for a brief time they didst enjoy success on the battlefield. But in the second year of the reign of John son of Joseph, a man named James, of the house of Meredith, of the nation of Cush, didst attempt to enter the seminary at Oxford. But the Hotty-Toddys despised and oppressed the Cush-ites, and refused him entry. But the Judges decreed that James must be allowed to enter. And the Hotty-Toddys rose up with great vengeance and furious anger, and didst burn their own city, and even slew two aliens in their midst. And the LORD saw that it was no good, and was much angered, and uttered a curse upon the Hotty-Toddys:
"THOU SHALT TASTE VICTORY ONCE MORE, THEN NEVER AGAIN SHALL THOU BE FIRST AMONG THY BRETHREN"
And after the following harvest, they didst enjoy their last great victory, then their warriors became lost in the wilderness. And a man named Elisha, who was also called Archie, didst attempt to lead them back to glory, but was wounded in the land of Eden and tasted not the fruits of victory. Then a great famine fell upon Oxford, until Eli son of Archie arrived upon a white horse. Eli led the Hotty-Toddys to many small victories, and girded his loins against an invasion by the warriors from Eden.
But Eli fell backwards*. And a great roar arose, and Johnny of the house of Vaught, the great king of the Hotty-Toddy past, didst ask "What be the meaning of this tumult?" For Johnny was a very old man, 93, and nearly blind. And the Hotty-Toddys cried in despair, "The invaders from Eden hath carried off the West championship! Our curse is still upon us, and the Heisman shall never come to the house of Manning."
And the LORD then caused a great delusion to fall upon the tribe of Hotty-Toddy, and they drove their general David from their midst, even though David had led them to victories for the first time in forty years. And they chose a recruiter of warriors from a western land, Bay Bay of the house of Yawyawyawyaw, because their delusion kept them from seeing he was a fool. And Bay Bay disdt tear his garments, and shout words none could understand. And the LORD loosed against the Hotty-Toddys bands of Cowboys, and Bulldogs, and even Commodores, who laid waste to Oxford. And the Hotty-Toddys continued to exalt Bay Bay, even as half his warriors disappeared from Oxford, and rued the days of Cutcliffe. And finally Les of Eden came to Oxford and destroyed it once and for all. 1 Samuel 4:3.
Then there arose a false prophet from the House of Nutt. Although he was cast out by swine, the faithful's hope was restored as he trampled the Tiger, vanquished the Raiders of Red, and slew the Cowboy in the House of Jerry. There was much feasting as milk and honey flowed from the rivers of the Delta to the lands of Elvis. However, more sorrow smote the tribe as the prophet's promises proved false when the curse struck him with a madness that left him speechless and confused. The prophet wandered at times on sidelines alone, quiet at times, babbling at others, while the faithful said oh no, we've been cursed yet again. However, Les of Eden was not without mercy as he was indeed a just man and knelt to end the game. 1 Samuel 4:4.
However, Les suffered the same fate as King Saul by showing mercy to the enemy. The Lord shewed his wrath and withdrew his favor from Les of Eden. Les and his Edenites came back to the land of the Hotty-Toddys, boastful of their strength. The Hotty-Toddy's drank the blood of many sacrifices to their false idols in their pagan temple called "The Grove" as they worked themselves into a frenzy. The Edenites fell into a trap as their exalted general Zachariah slept while the Hotty's caught them unawares. When Zachariah finally awoke, he slew many Hotty's but alas he fell in the end. The Hotty's made more sacrifices to their false idols as they feverishly danced naked after they vanquished Les of Eden.
However, the Hotty-Toddy's grew lazy as they lived off the fat of the land and drank much wine. They returned to the Valley of Death led by a young king named Beaux, III. He danced naked before the enemy, pointed three fingers at the heavens, ignored the counsel of his lord, and died in the Valley of Death. The Hotty-Toddy's were held to much scorn as their pride went down along with their downfall.
Prediction: LSU by five points. Ole Miss had a good game last weekend while LSU has won two SEC games in a row. However, LSU has a very thin line. It only has 8 scholarship players on the OL. Guards are playing tackle and center. Ole Miss has a much better qb. The LSU defensive line is thin as well and is only one or two injuries away from disaster. Then there is the fact LSU is playing 20 freshmen. That means a great play one moment and a bonehead play the next. Oh, and notice I didn't remove the Orgeron parts of this epistle. Fire away on that one.
Howevvvvvvver, this IS LSU-Ole Miss. The series is also a tough one from the LSU side although LSU leads the series 11-5 since 2001. Don't believe me? Check the history.
2001: Ole Miss win.
2002: LSU by 1.
2003: LSU by 3
2004: LSU by 3 despite a record-setting rushing performance by Broussard.
2005: LSU blowout because Ole Miss quits on Orgeron.
2006: LSU in OT
2007: LSU comes back in fourth quarter
2008: Ole Miss ass-kicking
2009: Les Miles can't tell time.
2010: LSU wins at the end of the game.
2011: The knee game.
2012: LSU needs 4th quarter comeback to win game.
2013: Ole Miss wins by 3.
2014: LSU upsets Ole Miss 10-7.
2015: Ole Miss won 38-17
2016: LSU won 38-21
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty Toddy
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29 comments:
Ole Miss says LSU is its Real Rival.
Yes and JJ aka "KingFish" says that Ole Miss is its real rival as well...looks like a consensus. (Now eat your hearts out you lowly, pitiful, "inferiority complexed" pups).
Ole Miss by 10.
8:17 LSU says Ole Miss should look to Conference USA for a rival. Ever listen to the song "What a Fool Believes"?
Big Sister just let out a LandShart over this. No one must disrespect the Oxford School for Drunks. Ole Mess: the LSU of the East -Land Shart University.
Oh, to remember the good ole days....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n1KPQmdddY
8:39 AM - The NCAA is Ole Miss's biggest rival.
@8:39 you seemed to be obsessed with the idea that State fans have some sort of inferiority complex. I don't know and have never known any State fans, including myself, that have EVER felt inferior to OM fans. As a matter of fact, I personally don't feel superior or inferior to any other person for any reason, especially for being a fan of a specific university. If that's how you gauge folks, then you are clearly delusional. I can guarantee you that when we all meet St. Peter at the pearly gates, he is not going to give a rip what university we supported here on earth. You need to gain some perspective on things that really matter.
Ole Miss is LSU’s rival? Tell that to LSU.
Coaches don’t get fired for losing to the bears, but they do get fired for losing to Bama.
Hey KF, you gonna add this one to your playlist? GTHLSU!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th51wVMLOEM
Ole Miss considers LSU it's rival.
LSu just laughs at Ole Miss.
As does the rest of the country.
9:15, It's the same inferior feeling people have who lived in south Jackson. They felt totally inferior to Northeast Jackson folks---I can't explain why but it is a fact. I have friends from South Jackson that still at 60 and 70 years old make comments regarding their own status in the community. WOW---I can't talk about this anymore---it's past stupid. The whole world is "F--KED UP !!!!
8:17 here,
8:39, not a state fan but I like how you used your jump-to conclusions mat. Hilarious actually. Your school constantly acts like they are more than they are, better than anyone, yet currently are the laughing stock of NCAA sports. That arrogance got yall in the mess yall are in. BTW, where is Archie? Yall should disassociate from him quicker than Hugh's burner phones.
10:27, 9:15 here again. Actually, that's not a fact about people who lived in South Jackson. I grew up in S.J., and I have never felt inferior to N.E.J. folks. And there's a whole lot more people from S.J. that feel that same way. Yeah, there's a lot of those N.E.J. folks that were more well-to-do than my family, but that didn't make me feel inferior to them. However, I'm pretty sure that most of them felt superior to us, but whatever. I guess I just don't get the whole superior/inferior complex that some people have. I wake up each morning and put my pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else, so I don't consider anybody above or below me. I don't give a shit how much money a person has or had, who their daddy is, where they went to college, where they grew up, etc., etc. etc.; that kind of stuff doesn't make a hill of beans to me.
10:27 here again, you are right.
You can't change how people think---all I know is that my friends from SJ make it clear that they feel inferior just by their comments.
I don't feel superior to anyone. There are more important subjects we can discuss such as world peace, hunger, "THE DONALD", Philbilly,
Thad Cochran------------------------------------.
This conversation has somehow devolved into the psychological backdrop of Mississippi history: the plantation mentality. White people looked down upon by other white people whose only comfort in life is being able to look down on black people. And for some reason we want to perpetuate that shit. Even among so-called college educated people. Hopeless.
12:06, You have a real serious problem if you read anything in my statement that mentions Black people.
You are not one of those people who like to stir the pot---are you ?
There is a reason MSU conspired and used athletes to lie and take down Ole Miss. Mullen wins 8 games and loses to the Rebels and he is on the hot seat. The next year, he wins 5 and beats Ole Miss and he is a hero. That is obsession.
I feel for the players who were used by the MSU leadership to lie about OM.
South Jackson boy here who left 25 years ago for Madison and saw his kids go to Madison Central and then to college with huge scholarships while his smug NE Jackson friends paid Prep $15k per kid per year and got less college scholarship money.
If you think being a smart south Jackson boy makes me inferior to my smug NE Jackson friends, so be it. I have a lot more money saved.
1:05 No. I just couldn't understand what the Fall of the House of Hotty-Toddy had to do with class-envy in South Jackson. What pot are you stirring?
Why do I think that 12:06 reads the Jackson Free Press?
2:32 Probably because you are so limited in your literary scope, you can't imagine any other source of competing information. Just a guess.
Great article! Well written hilarity always makes me happy. Well done.
As an alumni of South Jackson and MSU who now lives in Austin, I just want to say that all these references to "inferiority" have reminded me of why I left Jackson altogether. I never felt inferior to anyone - I just didn't like them. And now I'd bet that I make more $$ than most snooty people in north Jackson (Madison, Gluckstadt, etc). So I actually feel superior to every snooty person who was crappy to me when I lived there. Not that money matters to me, but it sure does to north-jackson "elites".
If UM beats LSU, it will most certainly improve their bowl destination.
Wait......
Lulz
@ 4:43, I'm not from Jackson, but this made me laugh.
"I never felt inferior to anyone - I just didn't like them."
That is what people who feel inferior always say.
If LSU wins, it will be interesting to see their fans go from from freaking out over Orgeron back to their cocaine boudin parade.
8:26 Cocaine boudin? Do tell! You get this at Bergeron's or no?
There is an eerie silence emanating from the Adidas sponsored basketball program at cow college.
@12:56
If you have facts about a violation, send it to compliance@olemiss.edu. If not, please do not slander these young men or insult their family
Speaking of eerie silence, no one has heard much from Hugh, Archie, or Vitter.
Who writes this shit?
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