Monday, October 9, 2017

JPS collects more property taxes than ever.

Jackson Public Schools are short-changed because more affluent communities can pour more money into their public schools while Jackson struggles to keep its tax base.  Such is the mantra that is repeated over and over in the media and among community leaders.  However, the real truth is that JPS collects more money in property taxes than does any other school district in Mississippi.  What is really intriguing is that property tax revenue has been going up while the student population has been going down.  If anything, the working people of Jackson who pay taxes for their children to be educated are indeed short-changed but not by "disinvestment."  It is said a picture is worth a thousand words.  The pictures below illustrate the true state of affairs at JPS better than any long-winded column ever could.


The graphs posted below are based on statistics culled from the audits posted on the State Auditor's website. Such information is harder to get from the Mississippi Department of Education over the last few years and the audits are provided by independent third-parties. The statistics used do not include the current school year. 

As one can see, the property tax revenue for Jackson Public Schools continues to rise despite a few dips over the years.  The property tax revenue increased from $78.7 million in 2007 to $92.5 million last year - an increase of 17%.  The big jump in 2015 is probably due to the property tax increase that was passed. 



There is just one problem.  The JPS student population declined 13% during the same period.  Keep in mind that the current JPS population is 26,948, a decrease of nearly 200 students from the most recent audit. 


It is not known why the student populations decreased so much in 2013 and 2014.  It might be an issue with the reporting. 

JJ created a new statistic: Annual property tax revenue per student.  It increased nearly $1,000 since 2007:



JPS defenders claim that wealthier school districts get more money.  Not so fast, my friends.  JPS gets more property tax revenue than any other school district in Mississippi.  Compare the charts posted above to those posted below for Desoto County.  Pay attention to the trend lines.





Property tax revenue increased 45% for Desoto but it still lagged nearly $10 million behind JPS.  However, the student population increased 22% while JPS's fell 13%.  One could argue that at the trends for Desoto County Public Schools are moving in the same direction, which one would expect for a growing school district.  However, it is troubling that the revenue is increasing for a school district as it shrinks and is in danger of a state takeover.  The trend line for the property tax revenue is also flatter. 

JJ also conducted the same review for the Rankin County School District.  Keep in mind that RCSD settled a lawsuit with the Pearl Municipal School District over a section of Pearl that was in RCSD.  Thus RCSD lost students in that area as it gained more from population growth in the rest of the district.




These figures are somewhat at odds with a rather foolish column written by the Executive Director of Operation Shoestring and published in Sunday's Clarion-Ledger.  One excerpt spells out his thinking:

JPS is reckoning with decades of systematic disinvestment in it and its community. On top of that, JPS has to cope with extremely high rates of family poverty among its students, a declining tax base that affects school funding and, correspondingly, aging and dilapidated capital infrastructure. In short, the odds have been stacked against them for a while. Column.

JPS already has the highest millage rate in the Jackson metro area.  It collected more property taxes than any other public school district in Mississippi and collects more per student than similar-sized public school districts?  Where exactly is the disinvestment mentioned in Robert Langford's column? He finished his column with this advice:

 I urge you to think hard about how we, with all of Jackson’s challenges and opportunities, ensure that we can build a school system and a community that keeps children safe and provides them a top-quality education so they can realize their dreams and potential.
 Perhaps it is Mr. Langford who should try some actual thinking.  There is one word that is not mentioned in his column that operated on a shoestring of facts: accountability.  Only 38% of the employees at JPS are teachers. Meanwhile 55% of the employees at Desoto and 50% at Rankin are teachers.  Their central office staff is a fraction of the nearly thousand employees that populate the JPS central office.  Then there is the kicker: JPS spends $2,000 per student more than Desoto.  Mr. Langford never seems to mention anything about holding the leaders of JPS accountable for anything.  However, it's easier to insult the community than actually examine the facts and think


Related Posts
Guess who spent more money, had fewer teachers, and got worse results? 
JPS is just plain fat.
How bloated is JPS? 
A Tale of Two School Districts. 
We report, you decide: A Tale of Two Audits.  

Kingfish note: Here are the notes and raw data.


39 comments:

Anonymous said...

...better than any long-winded column ever could.

Like Langford's this past weekend.

Anonymous said...

But, but....this will destroy the narrative. It's hell having to come up with a new narrative since narratives have to have a basis in fact. Right?

Anonymous said...

The first rule of the hustler and pimp is to remember who you are hustlin'. The same ole game is to remind your victims that they need to kick in mo
money if they want things to get better. It's like "sowing the seeds" of prosperity. Sound familiar? Since KF is not one of the victims his opinion means nothing.

Anonymous said...

Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget to mention the people who reside in the "wealthier" parts of Jackson who pay property taxes with school taxes in them, very seldom "cost" JPS as they also pay for private schools for their children. I'd say to the tune of 90%+/-. I bet that fact is never talked about in the collective, narrative, or whatever big word the hustlers like to use. Rich, white folks who pay for something they will never reap the benefits of. Again, water is wet.

Anonymous said...

I agree there's inefficiency and it's likely in administrative costs. But, until you look at actual costs and the differences in mandatory requirements and plant and equipment, and include outside revenues of other school districts into the mix, you continue to identify there's a problem, but you don't point to a solution.

You may find that the waste is worse in some other area like maintenance or transportation.

And, 9:15 am, I don't have to have a child in the system to know I benefit from an educated populace. I knew that even when I paid private school fees.

I'm more concerned about those who need a good public school system and will not be lucky in a charter lottery!

Anonymous said...

October 9, 2017 at 9:43 AM = DENIAL & FUD

Anonymous said...

MDE and the Auditor's office should have the following and if they don't, then they have a reporting problem:
1. Number of schools in each district with the annual maintenance and utility costs
2. Number of buses in each district with the annual maintenance and transportation costs.
3. Monies received from sponsors, PTOs and grants.

And, if there is good reporting for any district, a takeover shouldn't be a matter of guessing what the problem is. MDE and the Auditor should already KNOW!

Anonymous said...

Education policy is no longer truly "policy"; it's religion.

There is a church of education bureaucracy, and it's built on elaborate myths and rituals, not facts. And no matter how violently the facts collide with these myths, they cannot be abandoned.

If you abandon the myth that the main variable is money, the tithes dry up.

If you abandon the myth that everyone has to learn together in a big, top-down government institution --or not learn at all-- the congregation starts to dwindle.

If you abandon the myth that government can engineer equal outcomes between kids with parents who care, and those without, the whole enterprise collapses.

It's sort of like how Christians can never negotiate on whether Jesus was resurrected, or how Muslims can't reconsider whether Muhammad was perfect. The evidence is 100% irrelevant. The assumptions are not debatable, because the whole operation depends on them being true.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Langford's column was long on sanctimony and short on analysis.
For full transparency, his child goes to St.Andrews.

Anonymous said...

Word from the smoke-filled rooms is that the Governor WILL NOT take over JPS. He'll wait till the District is labeled an "F" district and that will trigger automatic takeover....regardless of him as it is mandated by law.

Anonymous said...

Numbers don't lie!

Anonymous said...

If that's true 10:14, at the rate they are racing to the bottom it will happen well before the Guv leaves office.

Anonymous said...

10:58, that's the point. It's coming in very near future...and the Guv knows it. This will take the political pressure off him. He can deflect any "blame". Smart politics.

Anonymous said...

Phil is leaving. Instead of spending last period in office avoiding "tough" decisions, why doesn't he clean out JPS and MDE and appoint real educators who actually care about the children of the state. What a chance to be a man Governor.

Anonymous said...

For Kicks and Giggles,

Does anyone on here, including Kingfish, have any idea about the cost of educating a student population that is hyper-concentrated with poverty? One fact Kingfish does not present is the poverty rate of the student populations in JPS compared to Desoto, Rankin, or Madison. $2,000 per student does not come close to making up for the disparity in familiar wealth and income among the student populations in the districts. That $2,000 extra is hat is paid by public tax dollars, but it is not what is actually invested in the schooling of students in suburban districts, when you consider the valuation of the school buildings, the curricular supports that are paid for through private donations (PTA fundraisers, local business sponsorships and grants, etc.), and the fact that the supports in the homes and the community make schooling for suburban children much less expensive that children in concentrated poverty contexts in urban and rural areas.

Residential Segregation and the concentration of poverty creates situations where delivering civic goods and services like education, safe recreation and cultural amenities, police protection, and vital infrastructure supports almost untenable in urban and some rural areas. But yet, we refuse to interrogate the policies and practices that structure residential segregation, like zoning policies, new development residential square footage minimums, discriminant home loan lending, and PILOT programs that encourage gentrification that price out many poor and minority residents from their gentrified neighborhoods.

All of these things create concentrated poverty contexts that serve to deprive children of many developmental supports that are necessary for the development of academic skills that would yield success in school. Because of that lack of supports from the home and the community, schooling for children in those contexts is quite expensive and daunting. Its the price we pay for segregation.

Kingfish said...

Is there anything in JPS you won't excuse?

Anonymous said...

$2,000 per student does not come close to making up for the disparity ...

Tell us then, how much per student extra is required?

Wow said...

Kicks and Giggles. Let's discuss this.

I do think it is important to not ignore the very real consequences of history. This includes the blatant discriminatory policies seen in residential segregation that you talk about. It makes for a non-vibrant community which affects the opportunities these children have, no doubt.

KF has previously provided feedback on what he thinks needs to happen in Jackson:
1)higher percentage of JPS payroll being teachers (licensed, good teachers)
2)streamline top heavy administration (and get a really talented superintendent with proven results in these type of turnarounds)
3)invest in complete / total pre-school / after school programs to give kids structure that they are not getting at home (looking at demographics, very high percentage of kids born to unwed mothers and young mothers).


Do you agree with these? What suggestions do you have?

Kingfish said...

Almost right. I don't believe in so-called after school programs. Make the actual school day longer. By all means include sports and arts in the afternoon but make it part of the school day itself. Keep them in school until four or five in the afternoon.

And get a real forensic audit to see where all the money is spent.

Oh, and close down some schools. fewer students means fewer resources needed.

Anonymous said...

"Oh, and close down some schools. fewer students means fewer resources needed."

How in the hell will closing down 'some schools' equal fewer students?

That's about as dumb as claiming running a dam across the lake will equal fewer fish.

Anonymous said...

Seriously. Langford sends his kids to St Andrew's!

Anonymous said...

7:10, “How in the hell will closing down 'some schools' equal fewer students?”

Very simple, if the student population is dropping, you need fewer facilities and can save operational costs by shutting down excess facilities. You misread the post by KF, and you reworded his post to say something the original didn’t say. Shutting schools doesn’t cause fewer students, but if the student population is declining, you don’t need the same number of facilities as you,do for a larger population.

Jobs For Nuts said...

2:58 was obviously home-schooled and always wanted to be a sociologist. They don't have real jobs. They just opine about community issues and such and think what they have to say has meaning. They're just one step removed from being a community activist (neighborhood agitator). Most of them are also interested in setting up a Go Fund Me account.

Anonymous said...

JPS receives this money largely from NE Jackson a area that sends there kids to private schools. I'd love to have that portion of money go to prep for my 4 children's tuition. My brother in Belhaven sends 3 kids to St. Andrews. I'm certain he would rather use this money for tuition as well rather than letting JPS squander it.

Anonymous said...

Math and research don't lie if you have included all the key variables.
I'm not excusing anything. I'm just appalled at how poorly Mississippi measures performance and efficiency. And, I'm appalled at how politics has always infested the educational system including IHL. And, selective accounting and research has been a part of the failure of education system wide. Indeed, some of our leaders reject that averages hold any validity. Apparently, they never averaged their own grades.
2:58 pm has a point that can also be backed up with solid math and research. Perhaps, if you look at Appalachia's poverty stricken areas and compare them to affluent areas in West Virginia, you'd see that poverty is a factor when race plays zero role.
If you think it not more demanding or costly to teach a class of children with a lower IQs or who are ill prepared for school either physically or psychologically or who have to work to help support the family or have little time to study or any help studying, or who have to been transported to school by the system , you are mistaken.
I want you to compare apples to apples. So compare JPS to a district with the same socio-economic factors using the same measures. Then perhaps you can better identify where the " waste" is. Just the stats you have posted are a hint...the big winners in performance are college towns and districts with higher median incomes.
If a 1/4 of my class needs extra help, I can do it. If 3/4 of my class needs extra help for any reason, there aren't enough hours in a day to do that.
I would also respectfully suggest to everyone that by the time students get to high school, it's too late. It's the wrong focus. Indeed, if I picked ONE grade to study the system, it'd be the 3rd grade. That's when some very key skills going forward are taught and if missed, haunt a child the rest of his academic life.


Anonymous said...

@2:58, so you're saying parents and the communities in the 'burbs pitch in and spend some of their own money through private donations (PTA fundraisers, local business sponsorships and grants, etc.)? Novel idea isn't it? The term "it takes a village" comes to mind. Its not segregation. Those that want to better themselves do, as did their parents and grandparents that got them where they are. I'm assuming pulling the segregation card you may be of the African American community? If so, then why is it the "narrative" of the AA community these days are words like "collective", "Cooperative", "Community". Can the AA community not pitch in and help? Can they not make sure homework is done and grades are kept up like in the suburban communities? I'm not so sure its a money thing rather than a lifestyle thing. After a while, you back yourself in the corner passing out contracts to the hustlers rather than spending it the kids properly. Then when you come seeking a handout, get upset when people want to see where the money goes. Sometimes the community has to lace up their bootstraps and get to work to prove they want to do better.

Anonymous said...

October 10, 2017 at 8:22 AM = Pablum and NO PUDDING

Anonymous said...

I am not a person who invests much effort in making or defending excuses, but I do think problems can only be solved by complete examination of the contributing factors. 2:58 and 8:22 at least acknowledge a basic reality of education in Mississippi, that is, a large percentage of children in this state come from homes where education is not the priority item it must be to be successful. JPS has a concentration of such children. That is a fact. JPS does not provide 24 hour social services in the home. The Department of Human Services cannot do this job either, the problem is societal and it is extensive. JPS gets these kids and MUST, if they intend to be effective, provide remedial services to these kids that Desoto or Madison County can forego. The problem is, JPS is not using the resources it already has in the most effective manner. Of all districts JPS should be the one dedicating the most funds to classroom and academic operations, rather than padding it's administrative staff with cronies and friends of friends. It's like people on welfare who genuinely need financial help buying lobster and rib eye steak.

Anonymous said...

Actually surprised, but this is becoming a very fruitful discussion.

To the points KF and WOW made, the challenge with getting more and better teachers in a district like JPS is that performance evaluations for those teachers are too heavily tied in to the test scores of their students. Yes, good teaching is the best "in school" variable to improve student achievement. But the operative word there is IN SCHOOL. The biggest variable to student achievement, in aggregate, are social-economic factors, like parent level of education, income, and such. That’s why in any accountability model focused solely on test scores (like here in MS), suburban (college town) districts will fare better, and urban and rural (poor) districts will fare worse, regardless of what the school leaders themselves are doing in the buildings. Those are variables schools cannot control, unless they have a selective enrollment.

I agree more investments in early childhood and extra-curricular supports could help, along with other wrap around services like physical and mental health services, social work case management, and job supports for parents. But all of these supports come with a heavy price tag from a funding source that is leaner and leaner with every corporate and income tax cut from the state. The Department of Mental Health has lost over 650 positions in the last 2 years because of tax cuts, Medicaid was not expanded, and for the first time since its inception, CHIP program was not funded by the feds. So, practically, waiting for these supports to happen and to come from state and federal government is unfortunately, a pipe dream at best.

So, what we are faced with in district like JPS is a question of vision and institutional control/community accountability. If we truly want to see JPS turned around, the concept of "turned around" must be interrogated. I won't go into a long treatise on the subject, I'll just day this, what is a better indictor of an effective education and schooling experience for children in a community, a test core from a 5th grade science test or a 8/9th grade math test; or an account of how many of the graduates from the high schools are working/in school, started a business or are voting/civically engaged within 5 years of graduation? Measurement drives decision making at the local level. If we measured student outcomes after graduation, then we could better structure educational policy and schooling practice in the local levels to tailor to the needs of each community.

Anonymous said...

No one ever mentions the $150 million dollar bond issue that was passed by citizen's vote. It was project managed by a company called Jacobs, an expert in building public schools. They were associated with local people and some things were done correctly. Some were not done at all. Accountability. Seems like one more out-of-town expert ripped off Jackson. But, back to Langford, is $150,000,000.lack of reinvestment? Just like most liberals, if they say it, it is true.

Anonymous said...

Ha... for the complete moron claiming the race card bc whites in Jackson send there kids to private schools... well I hate to bust your race baiting misguided opinion but the private schools are much more diverse than any of the JPS schools. Go play your trumpet elsewhere like the 1960's.

Anonymous said...

St Andrew's? I love it when the hypocrisy of the pontificating class is exposed!

Kingfish said...

I'd rather base the teacher pay on a beginning and end of year diagnostic test than the test used now. Gives one a better indicator of how much child progresses through year although not perfect.

Anonymous said...

come on people why every time a discussion comes you all talk about race. We all know that race play no part in education rather a part in society. Every race has the same problems throughout this wonderful place we called Earth. I understand that Jackson has experienced white flight and right now is experiencing black flight. The most important is these kids are suffering because of something the top heads are doing and it's not just JPS heads fault it's the MS Dept of Education fault as well. Can we all take off the race hat for one minute and realize that a child has no color but are only taught to have it. Everything gets old and one day Rankin County and Madison county school system that will get old. By the JPS do have a couple schools that are A rated. When I see a child I don't see color I see a human that can learn from everyone. By the way when I watch the news I don't just see African Americans doing crimes it's all race. What I'm trying to say is I get how you feel but every African American is not the same just like people from the other race are not all the same. Just because you stay in Rankin and Madison county don't make you smart only mean you are smart at what society calls smart.

Anonymous said...

"Just because you stay in Rankin and Madison county don't make you smart only mean you are smart at what society calls smart."

Fo Reals dog! Them kinfolk from the burbs aint got that skreet smarts!

Anonymous said...

To be clear, I am no JPS apologist. Yes, the leadership in JPS is faced with a daunting task of educating a student population that is vastly over concentrated with under supported and under resourced students. And yes, they have failed miserably at it. The lack of innovation around school climate, pedagogy, curriculum and assessment practice, discipline and classroom management policies, community engagement, and transparency are glaring and indeed sad. Something vital and radical must happen to completely reimagine schooling in JPS. Simply having more local control ain’t the answer, but neither is state control if it isn’t innovative and creative in its leadership.

But educators in Rankin, Madison, and Clinton aren’t doing a good job with teaching poor black students either. Look at the disaggregated student achievement data in those districts. For example, there is a school in the Madison county school district that teeters between a D and F rating each year. Its Velma Jackson high school, and it is the only school in the district that served a 100% black population and eligible for community free and reduced lunch (at least 80% poor). No school system in the state does a good job with teaching poor, black kids sustainably or systemically. That is not to say poor black kids can’t learn in MS, they can and do every day. But, its not because of any scalable policy or practice that we can observe. The poor black students that excel academically around the state do so in spite of what districts fail to provide them during their schooling.

Given this reality, we can observe a striking phenomenon with school accountability ratings. The biggest observable variable that characterizes the difference in the ratings of the schools systems is the proportion of their student population that is poor and Black. This makes the accountability model more indicative of the social-economics of a district rather than educational excellence. This model incentivizes districts to segregate based on race and class rather than become better at teaching poor black children. From school zone law enforcement, to building and development zoning boards (Ridgeland was sued by HUD in 2015 because they tried to zone out apartments on Count Line road-to preserve school accountability ratings!), to funding initiatives and municipal bond votes; schooling is highly characterized by residential segregation, probably more so than any the variable we can think of. Yet, we seldom talk about the connection between the quality of schooling in a community and the residential segregation that characterizes community development around the state. I wonder why???...

Anonymous said...

And the award for the most words used to say the least goes to......
4:21 PM.

Anonymous said...

@6:17 PM

+1,000

2016 Hottest Reporter Poll

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Who is the hottest reporter?

Archives

Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.