Monday, April 27, 2015

The Stephenses bring the country to Northeast Jackson.

It appears Neil and Anna Stephens were running an egg-selling operation that was complete with chickens and chicken coops in their back yard at their home on Newland Street in Jackson.  They are currently at the center of a controversy as they leased several Northeast Jackson homes to the Oxford House. The Stephenses kept chickens in their back yard and sold eggs under the label "Urban Eggs". They even advertised the eggs for sale online.   Social South published a story positively gushing about Urban Eggs in February:




My friend Anna Stephens is one of my favorite people in the world for a hundred reasons! We’ve known each other since childhood. We’ve eaten Mexican food together on a regular basis for years now, played basketball both with and against each other, and she even let me live tweet from her account at her wedding! I love to laugh at her about these ugly shoes she wears all the time and she laughs at me about how tall and uncoordinated I am. I also love to laugh at her about the fact that she and her husband have about 15 chickens living in her backyard. But even more, I love that she sells me eggs that these chickens lay. We’ve got a good friendship going!

 So why does Anna have chickens in her backyard? Well, that’s a pretty awesome story!
One day about two years ago, Anna’s friend Kathleen ordered her a box of baby chickens as a fun little prank. I think Kathleen was thinking, “It’s going to be hilarious when Anna comes home from work to a shipment of live baby chickens on her doorstep. She’s gonna freak!” But I’m not sure Kathleen thought Anna would actually keep the chickens, much less name them, build a complex for them in her backyard, and start the business we know today as Urban Eggs! Yes, Anna and her husband Neal have a chicken’s paradise built in the backyard of their Jackson home for Caramel, Yoli, Yanni, Runt, and the rest of the UE gang to live and lay. 




When Anna and Neal decided to keep the chickens, my first thought was, “Wow, your neighbors are going to hate you. Don’t roosters get super loud at sunrise every morning?” I know I wouldn’t be too fond of a 6 a.m. wake up call every morning from my neighbor’s chickens!

But Anna said she and Neal made the difficult decision to give away all the men to keep the neighborhood peace. I believe that was a great decision. Now, they have a gang of gals that roam around the yard, lay colorful eggs every day, and eat Anna and Neal’s gourmet leftovers. (I swear these chickens eat better food than I do… The Stephenses are master chefs!)

 Because these chickens have a whole yard in which to roam, and because they eat homemade lasagna and eggplant parmesan in addition to their special chicken feed, they lay the most delicious (and beautiful!) eggs ever! I’ve always heard that happy chickens lay better eggs, and Anna and Neal’s brood have proven that to be very true. Urban Eggs eggs come in all different egg colors and they definitely taste superior to your average grocery store eggs!

In addition to being prettier and tastier than everyday eggs, they come packaged in a lovely gray egg carton with a stamp of Anna’s moped on the front! Buddy, the name we’ve given this moped, is Anna’s signature transportation source, so her mom had a stamp made that they could use on the cartons to set them apart. Very clever and cute!

To get your own carton of Urban Eggs eggs, all you have to do is email  urbaneggsjackson@gmail.com and tell Anna how many you want! She’ll coordinate with you on getting the eggs to you. And to keep up with the Urban Eggs fun on a daily basis, you can like them on Facebook or follow them on Instagram!

I hope you get a chance to order and enjoy some Urban Eggs in the very near future! 
Laurel Donahoo is a regular contributor on The Daily Social as the Social Bee. For more Social Bee posts, click hereRest of article

 Cute, heartwarming story.  However, a check of city records reveals that the business may not have a license to operate from the city of Jackson.  The business appears to have no permits.  A Jackson ordinance also states:

602.02.2 Uses Which May Be Permitted As Special Exceptions:

3. Dairying and animal husbandry on sites of not less than one (1) acre provided such use does not constitute a nuisance or health hazard. The maximum number of animals per acre shall be two (2) and when
A. the indoor and/or outdoor enclosures are located at the rear of residential structures with minimum setback of one hundred (100) ft. from all adjacent property lines 
B. upon the granting of the Special Exception, all types of enclosures, bufferings and the plan for the removal of wastes must be approved through the Site Plan Review process 
C. prior to the granting and renewal of the Special Exception, a notarized letter from a licensed veterinarian verifying the health status and current shot record of the animal(s) is submitted

 The couple also does not appear to have Urban Eggs registered as a company with the Secretary of State.  The Department of Agriculture must issue a permit before such an operation can take place.  No such permit was issued by the department.  



70 comments:

Anonymous said...

KF- Hoooah! Great reporting!

Anonymous said...

Don't let up on these fools until they move to Mexico

Anonymous said...

Bet they also aren't paying any taxes on any of their proceeds since apparently rules don't apply to them at all.

Anonymous said...

The Chicken Ranch- wonder if this operation resembles the TX house where chickens were not the main attraction. After all if she will run an unlicensed halfway house and chicken ranch, what will she not do?
Dance a little side step. Is the gub-ner gonna shut Ms. Mona down?? Could be a hard candy Christmas for Anna and Neal.

Anonymous said...

Did that post say $5.00 for a dozen eggs????

Anonymous said...

I have chickens and I can assure you that she is not getting rich off of this enterprise. I would be impressed if she was breaking even. Chickens are fun and a hobby, if her neighbors are cool with it, so be it.

Anonymous said...

When Anna and Neal decided to keep the chickens, my first thought was, “Wow, your neighbors are going to hate you. Don’t roosters get super loud at sunrise every morning?”

But then Anna said, "Like I give a f*ck! Think about who you're talking to, here. Those plebes will be lucky if I don't take daddy's money and turn this place into a hog rendering plant when we move to Bridgewater!"

And I thought, "That's so Anna!" Ha ha!

Anonymous said...

Now....where to build our factory? How about Fantasy-Land?

The guy is a darn used car salesman. This keeps betting better and better! You gotta admit its kinda funny......

Anonymous said...

How can Kingfish be contacted by phone or a direct email address?

Anonymous said...

OK - This is not a matter of profitability. This is a matter of chicken feces in a residential neighborhood is NOT a good thing. Flies, flies and more flies unless the area is cleaned and maintained frequently. Let's get real people.

Anonymous said...

She'll have plenty of time to raise chickens and open unsupervised halfway houses once JA cans her ass at the end of the school year.

Anonymous said...

Remember, they got Al Capone for failing to pay his income taxes.

Anonymous said...

Only in the "City with Soul" can you raise chickens and nobody complains. Yet you dare to discuss poor water quality, raw sewage in all the wrong places, delapidated homes, run down crime infested apartments, strip clubs, and high crime. I won't even mention the educational system.

Anonymous said...

Those eggs look awesome!

Anonymous said...

Chickens may be fun and a hobby for you,2:45, but apparently they are an unlicensed, unregistered, illegal business for Anna and her husband.

Anonymous said...

This is a matter of chicken feces in a residential neighborhood is NOT a good thing.

Yep.......I raised chickens when I was a wee lad. They are nasty, nasty, nasty......

Anonymous said...

Pales in comparison to the discovery that public school tax dollars are being spent on the DORE scam.

AETNA: "There is insufficient evidence to support the effectiveness of the Dore program for the treatment of patients with ADHD".

DORE scam: Dore can help people overcome their ADHD symptoms by tackling the root cause of their difficulties, the brain’s ‘skill center’ or cerebellum.

Shit meet fan.

Anonymous said...

$5 a dozen? You mean $4 per half dozen and endorsed by Jackson Academy football.

Anonymous said...

Out dated link but,
http://www.backyardchickens.com/a/jackson-mississippi-chicken-ordinance

Surprised our ordinance allows roosters. But, in most cities you can have up to a certain number of chickens for laying eggs and eating if you don't get to attached to them. Atlanta allows up to 25 with no roosters. Buddy of mine sells them to all his neighbors. And yes, $5 for fresh eggs locally sourced is not a bad deal. This is really much ado about nothing. More of a hobby than a business. Seriously, this is nitpicking. Stick the Oxford House. That's the real problem.

Anonymous said...

Bet they also aren't paying any taxes on any of their proceeds since apparently rules don't apply to them at all.

Use Form 3949-A to report if you suspect or know of an indiviual or business that is not reporting income. Send the form to:

Internal Revenue Service
Fresno, CA 93888

Considering what we've seen from Neal and Anna so far the odds that they did not report any of the egg income on their 2014 return are very good. Enclosing a print version of this JJ report and other documentation is more than enough to stimulate an investigation.

Anonymous said...

IRS - I know some agents follow this blog - can you say UNREPORTED INCOME - no license, no inventory, sales or other local taxes paid - do we really believe they would report their chicken egg business to the State and Federal revenue services. What other taxes are they not paying? Forgot - we are the stupid stooges that pay our taxes, not the 'smart set' that run 'ministries'. NON PROFIT I bet!!! $5.00 DONATION! to the Anna and Neal Fund for Thinking Good Thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Seriously 4:14 PM, start your own blog.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, I think it is nothing but a bunch of chicken sh!t!

Anonymous said...

"OK - This is not a matter of profitability. This is a matter of chicken feces in a residential neighborhood is NOT a good thing. Flies, flies and more flies unless the area is cleaned and maintained frequently. Let's get real people."

You are what I would call a "stick in the mud". Those chickens of hers are not hurting anyone and you know it.

Anonymous said...

Anna and Neal's CHIIIIIIIIICKEEEEENS have come home to ROOOOOOOOOOOST! (ala Reverend Wright!) Sorry -- couldn't resist.

Juan said...

Chickens waste stinks.
That's a fact.

Anonymous said...

Those fuzzy wuzzy little peeps in the last picture are sooo cute!

You don't think Anna could be so heartless as to fatten them up for the deep frier, do you?

Anonymous said...

Seriously, selling eggs out of chicken coops in their NE Jackson backyard for a buck or two instead of giving them to their neighbors, family, and friends? I thought this couple was all about giving back and helping others and not about making money. LOL Don't think so.

Anonymous said...

This information coming to light may be the final straw with JA. Blighting the JA neighborhood with a glorified flop house puts you on think ice. Moonlighting as a chicken farmer? UNACCEPTABLE, YOU CLOSET LEG HUMPER!

Anonymous said...

Someone who knows them well told me the megalomaniac is Neal and that Anna is under his spell with the videotapped tennis ball marriage proposal and such. Since a poster above brought it up. Do you own research. The whole Dore thing is as bogus as Scientology and the PR campaign to make it look like some sort of 'real' science keeps Father and Son Stephens rolling in the money. Ask someone at UMMC in the behavioral sciences if they've seen any research at all that clinically proves Dore works.

Anonymous said...

Did JA agree to be her Chicken Ranch front and advertisement partner? Other searches and links show her with kids at JA holding up egg cartons with her company logo. Did their parents give permission for their kids to be used as advertisement props for her egg business? Photos also show JA staff promoting her egg business (probably unwittingly). Is JA in the egg business now?

Anonymous said...

That much more egg for two young faces.

Anonymous said...

Keep the chickens away from Brody.

Anonymous said...

6:41 -- I thought about that when I saw those pictures also -- more importantly when I taught school, schools were unable to post students pictures on websites, or publish them in any way, without a parental release. Parents normally signed that release at the beginning of the school year. Without it, you couldn't even post a sports photo with the student in it --- online.

Obviously Ms. Anna -- did not understand this! ONLY with parental release, can a MINOR have their photo posted online by an adult (especially for business purposes). Seems we need another investigation beyond the "chicken farm".

ANNA?????? Do you have those releases???????

If it was my child -- I'd be in her face.

Anonymous said...

Y'all are all overlooking the most important part. THEY NAMED A CHICKEN YANNI !!!

Anonymous said...

The fact that JA ever employed Anna is enough for me to forget sending my unborn child (wife is pregnant) to that school. Whether or not they fire her. I know Anna very well. She has no business being around young girls and JA should perform a more in depth background check on their employees.

Anonymous said...

Anna Fiser is rogue JA employee without a remote clue about the term and concept of discretion. The sense of entitlement that she and her husband share is staggering.

Anonymous said...

The award for most funny goes to 2:50 pm.

Anonymous said...

DORE is not a scam. I've seen its positive results first hand in my own child.

Anonymous said...

Can you point us 9:07 PM to any peer-reviewed clinical studies? Why is a young huckster with no professional training or licensure in medicine, psychology or counseling traveling around the state hard selling the "program". Happy for you and your child but Dore is pseudoscience, at best, that has been roundly debunked.

Anonymous said...

Dore in Mississippi seems more like swaydo science!


Seriously, you find believers in tinfoil hats too. That doesn't prove they work.

There's a lot of state funded quackery, especially in red states. A recent example


Harris therapy controversial
But DHS site recommends it.


Some context for the circumstances in the Harris home was provided by the Harris family lawyer, Jennifer Wells, when the Times asked about the girls' treatment. She said the couple relied on techniques found in a book called When Love Is Not Enough, A Parent's Guide to Reactive Attachment Disorder by Nancy Thomas, who Wells described as a "recognized expert on therapeutic parenting techniques." Wells also told the Times that exorcisms "are not part of the Harrises' religious practice."

But Thomas' book might have put ideas about demonic possession in the Harrises' heads.

Here is what "When Love Is Not Enough" has to say about children with Reactive Attachment Disorder, which Justin Harris says the girls were diagnosed with:

"The infant rage they often internalize that first year, instead of internalizing a loving parent, makes them fascinated with destruction, fire, blood, gore and evil. They often identify with the devil."

In fact, Thomas paints a bleak picture of children with RAD, describing them as "sneaky," potentially dangerous liars who should not be let out of their rooms at night lest they harm family members.

Anonymous said...

@9:36PM. I don't need a peer review study to tell me what I've witnessed with my own two eyes in my very own home. If it didn't work for people like us, we wouldn't pay for it. It's less expensive than other therapies and produces measurable (good or bad) results for you to compare. You can quit at any time if your results aren't to your liking. Once completed, you are finished for good. Not a very good "scam" if you ask me.

Look, I'm not a friend of these people, nor am I fond of the Oxford House. It is a really stupid idea on their part and shows very poor judgement. But it's absurd to try to delegitimize every other business or profession they have. Eggs for Sale......SCANDALOUS!

Anonymous said...

"lovely gray egg cartons"

ROFLMAO

Have people gotten so ostentatious that becomes a selling point?

People can't be seen walking from the point of sell to the refrigerator with an unlovely carton of eggs?

And, the eggs you eat have to have a pretty shell as well?

People,if you have friends who are impressed by the attractiveness of your egg cartons and the color of your egg shells, you need new friends!

Anonymous said...

The Governor Finally Speaks on the Oxford House and Chicken Ranch

Fellow Mississippians, I am proudly standing here to humbly see.
I assure you, and I mean it- Now, who says I don't speak out as plain as day?
And, fellow Mississippians, I'm for progress and the flag- long may it fly.
I'm a Sherriff’s Deputy, come to greatness. So, it follows that I cannot tell a lie.

Ooh I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don't-
I've come and gone and, ooh I love to sweep around the wide step,
cut a little swathe and lead the people on.

Now my good friends, it behooves me to be solemn and declare,
I'm for goodness and for profit and for living clean and saying daily prayer.
And now, my good friends, you can sleep nights, I'll continue to stand tall.
You can trust me, for I promise, I shall keep a watchful eye upon ya'll...

Ooh I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don't-
I've come and gone and, ooh I love to sweep around the wide step,
cut a little swathe and lead the people on.

Now, Miss Anna, I don't know her, though I've heard the name, oh yes.
But, of course I've no close contact, so what she is doing I can only guess.
And now, Miss Anna, she's a blemish on the face of our good town.
I am taking certain steps here, someone somewhere's, gonna have to close her down.

Ooh I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don't-
I've come and gone and, ooh I love to sweep around the wide step,
cut a little swathe and lead the people on.

Anonymous said...

7:41

A little early for happy hour--

Anonymous said...

Word on the street is that Anna has lost her job at JA, or at least will not be offered a contract for next year, due to her lack of judgement.

Anonymous said...

I heard the same thing (unofficially) this morning-she was nonrenewed.

Anonymous said...

Well -- 8:58 -- I'm not 7:41 but WHERE is the governor in all of this, since the core of funding is coming from the Mississippi Department of Mental Health and they appear to heavily back Oxford House?

7:41 has a point. Phil "Now you see me now you don't" Bryant.

Anonymous said...

For those of you that are worried about taxes, they'd be fools NOT to report it. It's just a schedule F on their tax return. A quick search on the MS SoS site shows "Anna Stephens, LLC", which is probably the umbrella/parent/holding company for the "farm". In essence, 15 hens would probably only yield about 3500-3750 eggs per year. And that's maxed out. So if she's selling these things for $4/half dozen...that'll give her a whopping $2333-$2500 in farming revenues. Again, that's if she's selling 100% of the eggs produced. My guess is she's selling about 25%. And if you consider feed costs, materials/coop expenses, packaging, etc... There's no way she's making money. So not reporting it on a tax return would actually cause them to pay more taxes. Even if they are maxing out sales and producing a profit of let's say - $1000, you think the IRS would really throw a fit over a couple hundred bucks?

But as others have mentioned, the real issue here is the permit and city ordinance. If I was her neighbor, I'd take a half dozen eggs per week as hush money.

Anonymous said...

I can not believe this whole situation. I have been trying to get assistance from the lower school principal since 5th because he has ADHD and she has refused me at every step. Eggs, recovery homes....the Mayor needs to make a visit to their home personally then visit Jackson Academy.

Anonymous said...

3:24, you're really confusing me here. Lower school principal since April 5th or 5th grade? And what school? Ans who has ADHD? And what does this have to do with the Stephens and their actions?

Anonymous said...

7:41
Brilliant! I think Phil might actually get a chuckle out of it.

Anonymous said...

7:41
If you set this to music, you might have a hit!

Anonymous said...

Apparently their current neighbors don't mind as I've seen no objections or other mentions. Not sure their Bridgewater neighbors will be as open armed to an egg laying business, but with the $ they'll make on the Oxford Homes, maybe they will eat, uh, I mean "retire" that business. But this is all chicken feed compared to what they are doing to some families in NE Jackson. Hope someone can get this overturned. If anyone has an avenue to submit complaints or whatever, please share. I'm not near this but Fondren, Leftover, and Heatherwood, y'all are next in line. We need to do more than rant on a blog (although it is therapeutic).

Anonymous said...

This is a little off topic, but has anyone really dug deeply into Sore, the Stephens and the contract Dore has with MS Department of Rehab Services.

As I think of the Oxford House/government contract connection, the relationship of Stephens to Millcreek and the deep pocket that has historically had in state funding, i cannot help but wonder about the use of state and federal funds for "rehabilitation" using Dore, which has no current supporting research ( that i can find.)

Does anyone know about the contract there and who is working with them to make it happen?

Anonymous said...

They could probably donate eggs to the OH residents and claim a tax write off.

Anonymous said...

Do chicken houses and their eggs attract snakes?

Anonymous said...

5:15
No, but snakes have been known to run them.

Anonymous said...

DORE is pure quackery.

Anonymous said...

When trying to connect all the dots here, particularly when it comes to state/federal funding, I do wonder if the Institute for Disability Studies (IDS), Mississippi's University Center housed at the University of Southern Mississippi, is a "dot."

The Stephens' opened a DORE office on the USM campus in 2012:

http://www.usm.edu/news/article/unique-dore-program-opens-new-office-southern-miss-campus

There appears to be federal and state (Mississippi Development Authority, for one) funding involved in the IDS housing initiatives...initiatives that have as a focus "individuals with disabilities defined by the ADA..."

Here is a link to IDS housing initiatives, several of which certainly sound like they could be connected in some way to Oxford House:

http://www.usm.edu/disability-studies/housing-overview

Anonymous said...

Yes. Chickens ABSOLUTELY attract snakes. That's why they call 'em CHICKEN SNAKES. Chicken houses also attract rodents. Rodents are considered the primary vector for Salmonella in poultry. And yes: the rats can go right from having a nice nosh at Anna's Chicken Ranch, and under the fence to your dog's food bowl. Then, after Fluffy is finished licking your child's face, you've got a toddler with Meningitis - all because somebody thinks her chickens don't stink.

Anonymous said...

Well said, Bubble Boy 8:48 PM

Anonymous said...

Everyone here is so ignorant. Ignorance breeds hate. OH is not a halfway house. It is A SOBER living home where people can rebuild their lives. The government is Not paying their expenses. Some have multiple jobs and are becoming hard working TAX paying productive citizens. And guess what...they are human beings just like YOU. Y'all are making your own property value go down by acting so ridiculous. Go and meet these men and women in their homes and see how great they are.

Anonymous said...

Y'all are making your own property value go down by acting so ridiculous.

Unfortunately, that is not the real world. If you own a house next door to a Fiser Stephens Halfway House...you own it forever.

Anonymous said...

11:19 - exactly, or at least until the neighbors figure out how to shut it down along with the gravy train to Anna and Neal.

Anonymous said...

9:33 must be a Fiser, a Stephens (maybe even extended family such as a VanDevender), someone with Oxford House, or one of the Urban Eggs chickens.

Anonymous said...

9:33am,

It's obvious you have been drinking the Fiser Stephens kool aid.

A sober-living house is just another name for a half-way house. Group home and recovery home are other aliases. Interchangeable terms.

Quick search provided these tidbits:
"Sober-living homes, also known as halfway homes or halfway houses,..." Recovery.org

"A sober house, or a halfway house,..." SoberHouse.net

"Sober living homes are group homes for addicts." Rehabs.com

You come across as a naive friend, maybe a relative, who is just parroting what she has been told by Anna.

You definitely should not be calling anyone else ignorant.




Anonymous said...

9:33, wtf do you think a halfway house is, exactly? A place where they just let ex-cons get wasted whenever they feel like it?

You can call a whorehouse an "Intimate Companionship Center," but it's still a whorehouse.

Actually, forget that last part. I don't want to give Anna and Neal any more ideas.

Anonymous said...

you people need to get a life and stop trying to ruin other people's. are you seriously acting like 7th graders over a few chickens? My God, this makes me ashamed to be from Jackson.

Anonymous said...

I bet most of the people involved with this post also claim to be Christians. Christians are killing Christianity.



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.