John Gruden really doesn't like Starkville.
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
- Presenting the Mississippi State Capitol (Video)
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- Jackson's water bond failure: The REST of the story.
- Time to return fire on Banks
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- Door shuts on another life
- Truth begins to come out in Irby case
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- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
40 comments:
Who does?
Starkville is already a good southern small town, and everyone with a brain knows that. But when they get done with the new Crossroads development sandwiched between the Cotton District and MSU campus, it will become one of the best cities in the south. There is a snowball effect to nice development. It will continue.
Panem et circenses. Starkville and the golden triangle is a perfect area for a college.
I really don't like mayonnaise, nobody cares.
I really don't care what John Gruden thinks. Or his nearly 40 year old impression of a town.
I agree. Cowbells are the worst!
1. This made the rounds a few months ago, I believe.
2. I don't mind it. Starkville has become a great little college town, and it doesn't feel so manufactured and packaged as others. It's actually a Mississippi college town, and it's not pretending to be anything else.
The surge in new restaurants, businesses, and property values reflect the city's successes, as do the numerous awards the city has won in the last recently.
It's become great place to live or visit, and managed to do so while keeping it's percentage of a$$holes at a minumum. There are very few who feel like they have to prove their net worth at every turn. I think of it as how Oxford once was.
It's way past time for the SEC to do away with the cowbells. I'll never understand why State gets this special exemption. (I suppose the folks in charge feel sorry for State and its failure to ever achieve anything meaningful athletically except for the CWS win a few years ago.) No other school gets to bring in artificial noisemakers. If the SEC won't ban them, then every road game State plays, the opposing fans should be allowed to use the artificial noisemaker of their choice. I'm thinking vuvuzelas.
/Cue the leg humpers' outrage/
Do they still allow cows to roam freely in downtown like in India?
John Gruden has always been an asshole, but as a State fan, I have to agree with him about the cowbells. I'm a 50+ while male, and I swore 5 years ago that I would not attend another game in person because of the cowbells. They are awful!!
Starkville is a sh*thole.
He's right, you know.
The same assholes saying "Starkville is a shithole" have only been down Hwy 12 and haven't been to Starkville in a decade. Spruill is a libtard but she has done a great job with making the roads better and bringing in new development. South Montgomery, the Cotton District, and Main St/Downtown are great areas. Starkville may have the best roads of any city in the state now!
"it will become one of the best cities in the south"
You are out of your mind.
Boo fucking hoo. I got a fucking vicious migraine just from the noise at at an LSU game. No cowbells there.
3:35, the noise? What about the smell?
@3:15 maybe I should have clarified it will be one of the best small cities in the south. But the point stands. Please see the renderings if you have not.
The land that fun forgot
I couldn't get them banned, dig up Johnny Vaught and complain to him…
For context, in terms of major SEC college towns, Starkville and Oxford both rank at the bottom at around 25K. Auburn is next at 76K followed by Fayetteville at 94K. You could put three Oxfords in Auburn. The university student enrollment is similar -- at the bottom.
In terms of total population, MS has 2.96M followed by LA with 4.57M and AL with 5.11M. MS is really too small to have two SEC teams but we seem to remain competitive. Both teams do well in multiple sports.
The only "good thing" that has ever come out of starkville is Highway 82!
Starkville is not, never has been ... and never will be Oxford.
Cowbells make up about 20 percent of the decibels at Scott Field, now drowned out by the rap selections (not music) blasting from the Jumbotron. I hate going to a rap concert and having a football game breakout, but that’s what it is. And yes I’m an old sob who would rather hear the marching band get revved up on a big third down play instead hearing lil’ Boozy Wayne or Snoop Tupac.
I did 4 years in Starkville as a student. It was a crappy place then, it’s not much better now.
I could’ve used a little more cowbell
3:05- I was there yesterday. It’s still a sh*thole.
Why would anyone want to go to school there there there are much better campuses and towns in the state and region.
I love the comment from OM people claiming MSU sports are irrelevant. OM has never one a single SEC regular season title in any men's sport with an integrated team.
That is irrelevance.
The Mississippi State crowd pretends their "junction" is on par with the
Ole Miss Grove.
News flash ... never in their wettest dreams.
BTW, it would serve them well to get rid of that goofy "State" script on the football helmets.
MSU used to have impressive uniforms.
I do like their cheese, their famous Redneck alum Jerry Clower and their other colorful personalities. (Coach Sherrill and his motivational castration of a bull, head Coach Mike Leach and the legendary Jack Crystal).
Crystal :
"Bulldogs on their own 20.
Maroon jerseys and white britches ... 80 yards away from the land of milk and honey".
Crystal was one of the best !
I’ve only been to Starkville three or four times. It was surprising to me how much was there, places to eat, stores and stuff, because I’d only ever heard from others what a potato patch it is. Having lived in Oxford for three semesters, I found Starkville (and, admittedly, I haven’t been there a lot) to show less pretense and snootiness than Oxford.
@ "Why would anyone want to go to school there there there are much better campuses and towns in the state and region."
Maybe to actually learn something. Like English.
Little Brother.
Funny watching all the ole miss keyboard warriors circle jerk each other over hating on Starkville. Maybe some folks like a slower wold where you don’t have to go crazy in debt just to prove a point that your opinion doesn’t matter 🤷♂️
Gruden still rocks, and is a great coach. But in today's wussified world, he's mocked as "old school, boomer".
Starkville is small town USA with some great spots.
Oxford is plastic land for Mississippi's wealthy whites. No soul.
Starkville is the Pelahatchie of SEC football, with no disrespect to The Hatchie. Oxford is the Gluckstadt. Both are small but unique.
Maybe it's time to do away with the rebel f'n flags also....petty snobs.
Both kids had free rides to go to Ole Miss and Miss State. They opted to go get an actual education out of state.
As far as towns, Oxford is nice enough. It’s fine, but not the Heaven that delusional OM fans think it is. Decent restaurants for a town its size. I actually enjoy visiting occasionally for work.
Now Starkville? First, let’s start with the whole “Starkvegas” thing. It’s really cringy. Then add the strip malls and low-budget restaurants, well , I would hate to spend a single night there (which I have).
Don’t sleep on Hattiesburg. That place has taken off with that new mayor. Every time I visit the place gets better and better.
The city with the most upside right now? Although it doesn’t have a school, Tupelo has really improved and is a good place to spend a night. Good hotels and restaurants.
But back to Starkville, yeah, it’s a sh*thole.
Not everyone who attends games in Oxford have money. A lot of it is financed. I know some uber rednecks from the north delta, Sardis, Grenda, Batesville, and other surrounding areas who can't make a loan payment on time during football season but them and white trash Barbie post pictures from the grove every home game weekend.
Also, Oxford isn't in The Delta like many like to proclaim....
You save a lot of money for rehab by sending your kids to third tier public colleges.
"Maybe it's time to do away with the rebel f'n flags also"
I believe that actually happened some years ago.
A lot of people like Starkville. Good for them, that they have a place they like to go to. If other people don't like to go there, don't go.
But those cowbells , , ,
All these Ole Miss Fans sound just like cry baby liberals from the left.
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