Friday, December 6, 2024

Can't Fight That Grand Illusion Anymore in Brandon

 Classic rock fans, get ready because you are going to get a triple feast at the Brandon Amphitheater next year.  




17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thankful I saw REO at Thalia before they both dissolved.

Anonymous said...

Does Code Enforcement also handle "noise abatement?" Will these old geezers provide their own walkers?

Anonymous said...

Styx is the greatest American rock band ever. The only reason why they get a bad rap is because most people are cynical assholes.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully folks will have an easier time buying tickets than trying to buy Rod Stewart tickets... 10 minutes after those went on sale there were NO 2 seats next to each other available in the upper sections except resale for 2x-3x the price.

Anonymous said...

Stewart will be, what, 80 years old when he performs in Brandon? No thanks.

Paul Mitchell said...

Man, that place is an utter sweatbox in August. They should do city hall, instead.

Anonymous said...

Rod Stewart now Styx? Come on now. Can we get some more hard rock bands to play? Sad we have a brand-new amphitheater, but we still have to travel elsewhere to see good main-stream bands.

Jeffrey Lebowski aka "The Dude" said...

You know what I said about the Eagles, man.

Robbie said: said...

Hey, psycho - we're not gonna discuss this, OK, it's over. Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.

Anonymous said...

The Brandon Amphitheatre will continue to attract those who can no longer afford the people and equipment needed for larger venues or who need to pick up extra money between larger venues between NOLA and Memphis or between casinos. The top tier entertainers expect more convenience and better "creature comforts" when they tour. I have close friends from by high school and college days who became famous. They have appeared at Thalia Mara and the Coliseum and one came once to Brandon. One often appeared as part of a tour with other acts. One friend who said they'd never go back to Brandon had a variety of reasons, but mostly because Brandon seems not to want to benefit by learning the business from the performers point of view. You don't do that by asking them in person or expect their agent to tell you. They aren't there to "teach" show business. To compete with Thalia Mara, you have to have bells and whistles and conveniences Brandon can't provide that add to the publicity for and profits of the entertainer. A new hotel won't help if it doesn't afford the privacy and individual services a performer still near the top expects. These aren't about being spoiled, but about sufficient time to recover and re-energize properly between gigs. Mississippi will lose if the state "powers that be" believe the fantasy that Brandon Amphitheatre and the Coliseum is enough. There are a lot of factors involved and Talia Mara has long gathered the informational history needed to learn the biz and are willing to " keep up". It's awful that so many these days seem to think they know everything they ever need to know their last day of school or by superficially gathering bits and pieces. Trial and error can doom you.

Anonymous said...

So this means that The Era's Tour isn't coming to Brandon?

Anonymous said...

@ 11:00 AM, just by what you wrote, "so many these days seem to think they know everything they ever need to know their last day of school or by superficially gathering bits and pieces," I sense you're describing yourself, friend.

Anonymous said...

Couldn't they wait until the Fair is here. Seems like a better fit.

Anonymous said...

Is it just me that I don’t recognize any of the performance artist at Brandon?

Anonymous said...

11:00 - same tour is playing venues in million plus cities in the same arenas that the biggest acts in the business plays

Anonymous said...

Most people survive and thrive through trial and error. Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

It's really easy to criticize. If you don't want to see Styx, then don't go. No need to diss on everyone that comes to Brandon. Is there a current "rock" band out there that could put butts in the seats ? I didn't think so. I saw ZZ Top, Jamey Johnson, Creed, and Jon Pardi this year in Brandon. Great time at all of those shows. Yes, I'm going to see Rod Stewart and will probably go to see Styx. Used to be a huge fan of REO, but Kevin Cronin's arrogance and politics broke them up so will just tolerate him. Don Felder never makes waves but plays a helluva guitar along with Eagles songs when he was in the band. Just appreciate the venue and the fact that we no longer have to go to Jackson to see decent live music.


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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