Thursday, August 18, 2022

Dan Berger: First Pick

 It's harvest time in many U.S. wine areas, and the first grapes to be picked annually, almost everywhere vines grow, are those that make sparkling wines.

        Wine with bubbles, a most celebratory beverage, is almost always made from grapes that are earlier harvested, mainly because the best of these wines call for higher acidity. And it is usually best to use the natural acids found in grapes to make a balanced sparkling wine.

        For that reason, grapes for sparkling wines are typically harvested as early as August, sometimes at the beginning of the month. On rare occasions the sparkling wine harvest begins as early as late July.

        Most consumers who love sparkling wines are prepared to spend a little bit more to get them, partly as a result of the difficult processing that it takes to make them in comparison to standard table wines with no bubbles. But also, the taxation on sparkling wine is higher than it is for still wines.

        Wines with bubbles can be produced using carbonation, which essentially means infusing still wine with carbon dioxide, or they might be made using a bulk process (called Charmat) in which the bubbles are produced in a large tank by a second fermentation, which calls for the yeast to be removed so a clear wine can be bottled.

        There are several other methods for making sparkling wines from still. And the most expensive method, harking back to a technique developed in France, calls for a table wine to be put inside heavy glass bottles along with additional yeast and a bit of sugar, thus allowing the second fermentation to occur under a steel cap.

        Since the second fermentation produces carbon dioxide, and the steel cap prevents it from escaping, the CO2 has nowhere to go except into solution, adding bubbles to the product.

        At that stage, removing the spent yeast cells is a complex process, and it is one of the reasons why production of the highest quality sparkling wines including Champagne usually is more expensive.

        Champagne from France remains the most expensive sparkling wine in the world, and over the last five years the sale of it in the United States has been so strong that prices have basically exceeded the rate of inflation. Recent research indicates that prices for France's best bubbly may be stabilizing a bit.

        One more thing that has made California's less expensive version of Champagne a little more attractive is that the earlier harvest of sparkling grapes has been accomplished for the last several years well before the California wildfires erupted, which had a detrimental effect on red wine grapes and even a few white wines.

        Since sparkling wine grapes were never affected by the wildfires' smoke taint, prices for modestly priced domestic sparklings have remained stable at $7 to $13.

        The more classic French method sparklings that are produced in California typically sell for between $20 and $50 per bottle and with remarkable skill, California winemakers are making some of the best bubblies in the history of the state.

        At higher price points, the best of these wines usually carry a vintage date and are four to six years old when they hit the retail shelf. Most offer much more complexity than the less expensive products. Also, the bubbles are much finer.

        Nonvintage sparklings can be superb, however, and many of them work beautifully with food, even though many consumers see them solely as before-food celebrations. Try NV brut with seafoods for a flavor match that's appealing.

        Wine of the Week: NV Gloria Ferrer Brut, Sonoma County ($18) -- Bright, lilting citrus-laced fruit and a classic soft midpalate lead to a crisp finish that enhances almost any dish. Made in the classic European style.

        To find out more about Sonoma County resident Dan Berger and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com

COPYRIGHT 2022 CREATORS.COM

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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