Sunday, November 30, 2014

No comment.


Bob Hickey-bottom's car. Ward 1 candidate. 


Click Here to Read More..

NYT posts evidence presented to grand jury in Mike Brown death online.

The New York Times was nice enough to post online all of the evidence presented to the grand jury in the Mike Brown case.  Testimony, police reports, photos, its all there.  Read it all here.

Click Here to Read More..

Benjamin story raises more questions.

Warden, consultant, prison wizard, former state senator, lobbyist Irb Benjamin said his recent resignation as warden of the Alcorn and Grenada County jails had nothing to do with the MDOC scandal.  Emily Le Coz at the Clarion-Ledger followed up JJ post last week about the sudden termination of jail-management contracts by Mr. Benjamin with some new information.

Click Here to Read More..

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Ward 1 GOP candidates debate

IF you are bored and have nothing to do today,  here is the complete video of the GOP debate for the Ward 1 City Council candidates held Monday night at Bellwether Church.   Enjoy.

Click Here to Read More..

Friday, November 28, 2014

Ouch!

Hate it when this happens.

Click Here to Read More..

Dorsey Carson on Jackson



This post is a paid advertisement.

Click Here to Read More..

Milwaukee police chief has a few things to say (video)

Milwaukee Police Chief Edward Flynn's comments about race, crime, and protestors on November 6 went viral this week.   The video and transcript are posted below.

Click Here to Read More..

Ali "Paula Deen" Shamsid-Deen challenges election

Losing Hinds County Circuit Judge candidate Ali Shamsid-Deen filed a petition to challenge his loss to Judge Jeff Weill in Hinds County Circuit Court  last Monday.  The Mississippi Supreme Court appointed Neshoba County Circuit Judge Vernon Cotten to hear the challenge.   The county website states the results were:

Click Here to Read More..

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving


Click Here to Read More..

Prisoners are money. Keefe: $40.4 million, G T Enterprises: $3.2 million

Time for some MDOC porn. JJ obtained the contracts and payments to Keefe Commissary Network and G.T. Enterprises through a public records request. Keefe earned over $40 million and G.T. over $3 million in gross revenue through MDOC inmate services.

Click Here to Read More..

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Free admission to Zoo tomorrow

The Jackson Zoo offers free admission on Thanksgiving Day as a thank you to the community! Bring your family to visit with our Zoo family on Thanksgiving! The Zoo is filled with family fun adventure for all ages. Have the kids work up an appetite or come "walk off" the Thanksgiving meal. Either way, the animals will be glad to see you!


The Zoo is open from 9:00 a.m. 4:00 p.m. 

The train and carousel will be open ($2.00) 

Click Here to Read More..

I'm Dorsey Carson



This post is a paid advertisement.

Click Here to Read More..

WJNT today

The Kingfish discussed all kinds of groovy things such as littering, father-rape, and whether someone who has been arrested is moral enough to kill people.


Click Here to Read More..

Rankin crime stats

Here are the October crime stats for Rankin County:

Click Here to Read More..

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Skinner & Larita win

Read 'em & weep:

Click Here to Read More..

JA grafittied last night. Racial hoax?

UPDATE:  JJ has confirmed that security cameras at JA and a nearby home show the perp was a white male wearing a hoodie.  Not racially motivated.  

Jackson Academy was vandalized with spray paint last night:

Click Here to Read More..

FB post says man robbed & beaten near Baptist Hospital. Here is the REST of story.

A Facebook post making the rounds claims a woman's husband was robbed at gunpoint and beaten "near Baptist" hospital and accuses JPD of incompetence as well.  However, the police reports tell a different story.

Click Here to Read More..

Ward 1 debate for GOP candidates tonight.

Hinds County Republican Party Executive Committee Chairman Pete Perry issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Monday, November 24, 2014

Dorsey discusses Colonial tomorrow night

This post is a paid advertisement.

Click Here to Read More..

She did it!!!!!!

Yes, it's true.   State Senator did pay her $500 fine to the Secretary of State.   

Sent from my BlackBerry Q10.

Click Here to Read More..

Candidates on rental properties.

I slacked off a little bit and didn't post the rest of the questions from the forum for the Ward 1 candidates for city council.  This particular question dealt with rentals and blighted properties. 

Click Here to Read More..

Barbour to sign tax pledge today

Ward 1 City Council candidate Charles Barbour issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Alcorn County warden suddenly resigns. Ended contract to run Grenada jail on Oct. 27

Update: JJ confirmed with Grenada County Board of Supervisors President Chad Bridges that Mr. Benjamin informed the board on October 27 that he was terminating the management contract to operate the Grenada County jail.  The letter is posted below.

Original post on November 22, 2014: 

A former lobbyist for Mississippi Prison Industries resigned his position as warden of the Alcorn County jail yesterday.  WTVA reported:

Click Here to Read More..

Sunday, November 23, 2014

I'm just a bill....

Click Here to Read More..

The irony.

Governor Phil Bryant said this about President Obama's Executive Order on illegal immigrants:

Click Here to Read More..

Meet & Greet with Amile Wilson

This post is a paid advertisement.

Click Here to Read More..

Friday, November 21, 2014

WLBT reports on non-prosecuted drug bust

WLBT reported on the dismissed indictment of Marlon Williams last night in this video:

Click Here to Read More..

Governor announces MDOC task force

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Is there a spoiler in Ward 1?

Bob Higginbottom switched his voter registration to Ward 1 two days before the qualifying deadline for the Ward 1 City Council race.   Hinds County voting records state Mr. Higginbottom was registered to vote at the Medger Evers precinct prior to November 10, 2014.  Mr. Higginbottom became prominent as a defender of Frank Melton during his administration. Hinds County tax records do not show Mr. Higginbottom as owning any property.  He is the only black candidate in the race. His Medgar Evers address was a property owned by Constable John Brown.  The Fernwood property is owned by the Reverend Jeffrey Stallworth.  He does get around. 

Click Here to Read More..

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Court uphold SOS against Watkins, orders $655,131 payment.

Secretary of State Gibbert Hosemann issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Wolfe pleads guilty

Marshall Wolfe just pleaded guilty in federal court to bankruptcy fraud. Judge Carlton Reeves scheduled his sentencing for December 8.  Read this earlier post for coverage of his indictment and JJ's reporting of possible bankruptcy fraud in 2009.  The notice of intent to plead  guilty is posted below.

Click Here to Read More..

DA drops prosecution on another high-profile drug bust.... after indictment.

The Hinds County District Attorney  dropped several charges against Marlon Williams after it claimed the state could not meet its burden of proof for conviction.  Hind County Deputies arrested him on March 19 for possession of 25 lbs of marijuana and possession of a handgun during the commission of a felony.  A grand jury indicted him on August 20 on the two charges.  However, the District Attorney filed an order of Nolle Prosequi on September 15 to dismiss the case.  The order stated:

Click Here to Read More..

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

To compromise or not compromise.....

Stand your ground or compromise? Tis the question always asked by politicians.   Wall Street Journal political columnist Gerald Sieb reported a substantial increase across the board in the number of voters who favored compromise in a poll conducted by the newspaper.  Mr. Seib wrote:

Click Here to Read More..

WJNT today

The Kingfish discussed Mr. Kenneth Stokes today.

Click Here to Read More..

Want some weed with that oil change?

This is a re-post from March 19. It is your homework assignment today. We will explain why tomorrow.

The Hinds County Sheriff's office busted a drug operation at Williams Complete Car Care on 1555 W. Northside Drive tonight.  Deputies seized 25 lbs. of marijuana (street value is $6,200), a handgun, cash, scales, and other paraphernalia. This was the third drug bust made by Hinds County deputies today and the fifth one this week.  Deputies arrested Marlon Williams (35), Joshua Holly (29), Curtis Bozeman (33), and Odarron Washington (22).  The charges are possession of marijuana with intent to distribute while in possession of a firearm.

Click Here to Read More..

Frank Williams indicted for NE Jackson burglaries

A Hinds County grand jury indicted little Frank Williams on three counts of house burglary in October.  JJ reported Mr. Williams' criminal history in an earlier post.  The case has been assigned to Circuit Judge Jeff Weill. He is represented by Hinds County public defender Michelle Purvis.  Mr. Williams lives at 5326 Clair Street.  He was "no-billed" twice by grand juries earlier this year.  He has been arrested several times for suspected burglaries and aggravated assault.  The indictments charge him with committing house burglaries against the following homeowners:

Click Here to Read More..

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Judge denies Mayfield petition.

‎Madison County Justice Court Judge McKinley denied Robin Mayfield's petition at a probable cause hearing against three Madison police officers.   He said the statute cited by Mrs. Mayfield, 97-17-93, did not give the court the power to issue citations. Mrs. Mayfield's lawyer and brother, John Reeves, did not appear in the courtroom. More to follow. 

Sent from my BlackBerry Q10.

Click Here to Read More..

Spiderman nabbed

‎JPD just took Spiderman into custody. 

Sent from my BlackBerry Q10.

Click Here to Read More..

Stokes makes Google Earth

Google Kenneth Stokes's home address and voila:

Click Here to Read More..

Monday, November 17, 2014

Judge Skinner fundraiser tomorrow night

This post is a paid advertisement

Click Here to Read More..

Stokes unleashed

 Update: The home is owned by a Fabian Nelson according to Hinds County landrolls.

750 Parks Road Place sits just outside of Byram in a nice neighborhood. The house has become a major eyesore, however.  The house lacks a roof. The resident clear cut over 100 trees and left nothing but stumps in their place.  The neighbors complain to the county.  The county decides to take action.  Nothing could go wrong, right?   Enter Kenneth Stokes and the lawyer for the homeowner.  Well, here is a preview of a later post.  Stokes, cross-burnings, and picking on someone because he is black.  What could possibly go wrong? See for yourself.

Click Here to Read More..

Governor issues budget recommendations

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Politico burns Mississippi

A writer from the Kaiser Health News blasted Mississippi's rejection of Obamacare in a "Letter from Mississippi" published in Politico.  Sarah Varney makes some good points but engages in a little bit of advocacy journalism as there is one thing missing from her story: interviews from the other side.  In this case, the other side are people who oppose establishing Obamacare or expanding Medicaid in Mississippi.  Having said that, the article is fairly in-depth in nature and worth reading.  Some excerpts:

Click Here to Read More..

NYT questions state's use of private prisons.

The MDOC scandal made it to the national media.  The New York Times reported:

Click Here to Read More..

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Oops!

State just can't get any respect from the media.

Click Here to Read More..

Democrats call for MDOC hearings

The Mississippi House Democrats issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

You can't be serious, Gator edition.

Sports Illustrated just reported that Florida fired football head coach Will Muschamp. His firing might have something to do with plays like this one that took place yesterday:

Click Here to Read More..

Sponsored: Ashby Foote will attack wasteful spending.

Ashby Foote has experience at attacking wasteful spending at the highest levels in corporate America.   He is committed to bringing that insight and ‘sunlight” to Jackson’s city finances if elected to represent Ward 1 on the Jackson City Council.  Here is an example from an op ed he authored in the Clarion Ledger in July 2012.

Click Here to Read More..

Friday, November 14, 2014

And they vote

This is scary.  I wonder how well these brats would know the answer to these questions if we had a draft.

Click Here to Read More..

Sanders SPEAKS!!!

Hello Peoples.  Here is another edition of Sanders Speaks for you Caucasians.

Click Here to Read More..

Chris Epps is...... the Untouchable

or so he thinks.  Indicted? No problem.  Wear gold Rolex to court.  Lose house and condo? No problem.  Lose cars? No problem. Just go get another Benz. Yup, the day after Mr. Epps appeared at his arraignment last week, he went out and got another Benz. Wife got to have a car, you see.  The Clarion-Ledger reported:

Click Here to Read More..

Ashby Foote fund-raiser

This post is a paid advertisement. 

Click Here to Read More..

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Br'er Haley and the T** B***

It looks like Br'er Haley  got into a briar patch of his own making.  Politico reported:

Click Here to Read More..

Wicker elected to Senate leadership

Senator Roger Wicker issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

WSJ gives Mississippi its place in the sun on a no-bid contract.

No bid contracts seem to be the norm instead of the exception in Mississippi.  The Wall Street Journal gave Mississippi some nice publicity yesterday.  It seems our Department of Education awarded a no-bid contract for Common Core testing after it was rejected by the contract review board.

Click Here to Read More..

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The field is set for Ward 1.

The deadline for qualifying for the race to replace Quentin Whitwell was at 5:00 PM today.  The candidates are:

Click Here to Read More..

Bomb threat at airport

Jackson Mayor Tony Yarber issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

The splendor of St. Peter's Cathedral in Jackson

Raphael, Murillo, and Michelangelo echo through St. Peter's Cathedral in downtown Jackson.  Father Charles Oliver supervised its construction in 1900.  The red brick building sits across from the Governor's Mansion, its stained glass a window into the Christian past.  The stained glass windows are copied from the works of Raphael and other masters. The cathedral was completely renovated in 2009.  The marble for the altars came from the same quarry used by Michelangelo.  Jackson Jambalaya commissioned local photographer Rick Guy to photograph the cathedral. The pictures of the stained glass windows were shot during the day unless otherwise specified.  Many thanks to the Catholic Diocese of Jackson for its cooperation in this project. History of the cathedral.  

Note: If using a mobile phone, please view pictures on a larger screen. Click on each photo to enlarge.

Click Here to Read More..

Rankin Crime stats

Here are the September 2014 crime stats for Rankin County:

Click Here to Read More..

Holiday? What holiday?

WAPT reported Northpark Mall will open on Thanksgiving Day:

Click Here to Read More..

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Remembering our Veterans

Here is an off-beat story of sorts as told by a survivor of the Battle of the Bulge.

Click Here to Read More..

Inmate gets 20 years for prison attack.

Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Amile Wilson Meet & Greet for Lake Trace tonight.

This post is a paid advertisement. 

Click Here to Read More..

MDOC contractor fires McCrory, claims Epps said hire McCrory for $12K per month.

Management & Training Corporation (MTC) stated in a press release it terminated its relationship with Cecil McCrory, and threw former MDOC Commissioner Chris Epps under the bus, in a statement issued yesterday.  The Seethespending.org website states MTC earned  $104,668,361 from MDOC to operate several prisons.  MDOC payments to MTC do not appear on the website of the Department of Finance and Administration.*JJ obtained a copy of the statement from MTC and posted it below. The emphasis added is mine.

Click Here to Read More..

Madison: don't park on the grass.

Don't park in your front yard if you live in Madison.  The Madison Board of Alderman adopted the International Property Maintenance Code last week.  The Board also amended  Section 302.8.1 (p. 8 below) to include :

Click Here to Read More..

Monday, November 10, 2014

Mrs. Mayfield files charges against Madison police officers in Justice Court.

Robin Mayfield filed trespassing charges against three Madison police officers on November 3 in Madison County Justice Court.  She is the wife of now-deceased Mark Mayfield.  She accused officers Vickie Currie, Scott Dean, and Chuck Harrison of entering her home without permission after she reported her husband's suicide on June 27, 2014.

Click Here to Read More..

Governor Bryant appoints new banking commish

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

The slap heard round the world

Stupid ***** of the day.  Warning: language. 

Click Here to Read More..

KiOR files bankruptcy, excludes Columbus plant, misses payment to Mississippi.

 The death spiral continues.  KiOR issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Ashby Foote: Veterans Day



This post is a paid advertisement.

Click Here to Read More..

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Leon Lett, move over

Dumbass of the day, make that year, in last night's Oregon-Utah game:

Click Here to Read More..

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Farewell Sherri Hilton

‎She passed away last night. Visitation Monday at Breeland funeral home in Canton from 5 to 7. Visitation again Tuesday at 1:00 followed by service at 2:00. All at Breeland.

State Treasurer Lynn Fitch issued this statement:

Click Here to Read More..

Joshua Cecil McCrory represented MDOC employees, EMCF in lawsuits

Joshua Cecil McCrory apparently represented MDOC, MDOC employees, and Keefe Commissary services in MDOC-related lawsuits. He is the son of Cecil McCrory.  A review of federal court filings revealed Mr. McCrory's role as an attorney in these lawsuits:

Click Here to Read More..

The District at Eastover announces loft apartments

The District at Eastover issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

There she blows

Lelia Drive this morning.  Too bad its not oil.

Click Here to Read More..

Friday, November 7, 2014

Governor creates task force to review MDOC contracts

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Cecil jumping in?

Looks like Representative Cecil Brown (D-Xanadu) is taking some baby steps towards running for Public Service Commissioner.

Click Here to Read More..

Time for a break

We've had some major serious stuff happen the last 24 hours so here is a break: Out-squatting the squatter.

Click Here to Read More..

Latest crime stats

Here are the crime stats for Jackson for the week ending October 19, 2014:

Click Here to Read More..

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Governor orders review of all MDOC contracts.

MDOC issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Epps & McCrory free on bond. US Attorney: scheme continued for nearly a decade.

U.S. District Judge Keith Ball set bond at $25,000 each for defendants Chris Epps and Cecil McCrory.  A grand jury indicted the pair in August for 49 counts of various charges, although the indictment was sealed until today.  The charges are listed in the press release posted below. Mr. Epps resigned his position as MDOC Commissioner yesterday while Mr. McCrory resigned his position on the Rankin County School Board earlier this week.  The scene in the courtroom was surreal as one of the most powerful men in state government stood as a defendant at the mercy of a judge. Both men appeared in suits as they were not in custody. 

Click Here to Read More..

Michael Guest Fundraiser Tonight at Table 100




This post is a paid advertisement.

Click Here to Read More..

EPPS and McCrory indicted. Feds allege McCrory paid off Epps mortgage for sweetheart deals.

Copy of indictment is posted below. 

Highlights: 
-McCrory spent over $350,000 (allegedly) to pay off  Epp's home mortgage
-Epps awarded numerous no-bid contracts to companies owned or represented by McCrory. 
-Feds seek forfeiture of all Epp's properties, cars, and funds for tax evasion. 
-Epps & McCrory had a kickback scheme making monthly payments based on "consulting" fees. 
-Epps and McCrory used a money laundering scheme  
-McCrory served on the Penitentiary Committee in the Mississippi House of Representatives from 1990-96.

A federal grand jury indicted former MDOC Commissioner Chris Epps and former Rankin County School Board President Cecil McRory on 49 counts of fraud, tax evasion, .  Here are the highlights from the indictment:

Click Here to Read More..

Epps & McCrory to be arraigned today on 49 count indictment.

The U.S. Attorney issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Epps' buying of properties raises questions

I am working on the post right now and it will take some time to scan and upload the documents, but here is the nutshell version.

Click Here to Read More..

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Breaking: McCrory resigns, PEER report critized MDOC for no-bid contracts with McCrory

Update: JJ confirmed Mr. McCrory is linked to the federal investigation for former MDOC Commissioner Chris Epps. 

Rankin County School Board President Cecil McCrory resigned his position yesterday. Mr. McCrory owns several companies that provide telephone and commissary services to prisons such as G T Enterprises of Ms, Correctional Communications of Ms, and Mississippi Correctional Communications.  A 2011 PEER report criticized MDOC for issuing  a "no-bid" contract to G T in 2007 even though it was legal.  The report stated G T  was the largest provider of canteen goods for MDOC.  MDOC awarded a similar contract to Keefe Commissary Network, LLC in 2008. 

Click Here to Read More..

Epps quits

MDOC Commissioner Chris Epps today.  JJ has confirmed he is indeed the subject of a federal investigation. 


Click Here to Read More..

WaPo: How the Republicans took the Senate

The Washington *#$% published an excellent story on how the Republicans took the Senate. There is even a blurb on the McDaniel-Cochran race. Long read but worth it for the polijunkies.

Click Here to Read More..

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Election night thread. Weill kicks ass. Skinner & Larita to runoffs?

This is the election night thread.  Will the Tea Party help Childers beat Cochran?  Will Ali and his barbarian hordes run Weill back to Lelia Drive? Can Skinner keep his seat and his tan? Will the Republicans take the Senate? Stay tuned.

Click Here to Read More..

Rules? What rules?

Ali Shamsid-Deen peeps are handing out these sample ballots at the Belhaven College precinct:

Click Here to Read More..

Mayor Yarber: Ban the box

Mayor Tony Yarber just issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

The Branding of the Queen?

These flyers about Madison Mayor Mary Hawkins-Butler appeared on cars in several church parking lots last Sunday:

Click Here to Read More..

Monday, November 3, 2014

RIP Click

Tom Magliozzi of Car Talk died today.  Listened to his show on NPR for years. He will be missed. Here is one classic: The Andy Letter:

Click Here to Read More..

Ward 1 candidates on crime.

The Lefleur East Foundation held a forum for the candidates for Ward 1 City Council.  Former WLBT news director Dennis Smith moderated the event.  JJ is posting the video of the forum by question.  Here are the candidates on crime.

Click Here to Read More..

SHE DID IT!!!

Melanie Sojourner actually filed her annual campaign finance report:

Click Here to Read More..

Amile Wilson: Flooding



This post is a paid advertisement.

Click Here to Read More..

Was "baby" killed in a "high speed chase"?


Keisha Redmond accused JPD of killing her 15-year old daughter Keonna in a "high speed chase".  Keonna died in a stolen car that crashed into a tree after police stopped the car.  JPD states the driver drove off in the car after the police officer got out of the car and that there was no chase.  However, JJ obtained a picture of the deceased that casts "baby" in a different light.

Click Here to Read More..

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Get out a box of tissues.

The Daily Mail (UK) published a story recently about how an elderly man lay dying in the hospital- until his dog was found.  The newspaper reported:

Click Here to Read More..

Can't deal with men? Kill 'em all. Radfem cra-cra.

Our favorite little radfem is back to write about her vision of Utopia: a world without men. I mean this lady is talking about euthanizing  most men and lowering their life spans of those who survive.

Click Here to Read More..

Saturday, November 1, 2014

State judicial election committee tells Shamsid-Deen to stop illegal campaigning.

The Special Committee on Judicial Election Campaign Intervention issued a cease and desist against Hinds County Circuit Judge candidate Ali Shamsid-Deen, as well as a cease and desist order yesterday.  The committee ordered Mr. Shamsid-Deen to stop using campaign materials that are "misleading" and imply that "he is the incumbent Circuit Court Judge."  The order and press release are posted below.  The committee states Mr. Shamsid-Deen ignored the order.   The committee also ordered Mr. Shamsid-Deen to stop using materials showing his picture along side that of Travis Childers.  Mr. Childers is the Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate.

The press release states:

Click Here to Read More..

Rankin burglars caught

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following press release:

Click Here to Read More..

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.