Lord Protector Lynn Fitch issued the following statement.
Friday, April 2, 2021
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
30 comments:
Is she even aware that Mississippi has joined this band-wagon?
Ms Fitch wants to tell another State (California) what its gun laws should be. Based upon her legal reasoning, any other State has the legal authority to tell Mississippians what our laws can be. This won't sit well with the majority of Mississippians. Again she engages in pandering, this time to those who fear their 2nd Amendment rights are imperiled. She doesn't do her job as Attorney General. Ms Fitch, you are a failure.
I'm not thinking the 9th Circuit gives a flying shit what Mississippi's attorney general thinks. This is pure political posturing and pandering by the AG. But hey, they all do it, so who's to blame her from following the good ol' boy political tradition established by her predecessors.
Great, now if ole Tater Tot would only grow a pair
It’s like that kid senior year who discovers that not doing anything for four years is not a good look for college applications and just starts joining any extracurricular group will take him.
Thanks General Fitch! 2A is the way and we’re proud to have an AG fighting for our gun rights!
Someone should tell her she is not Attorney General of California.
Airbrush General Fitch, fighting for the rights of Californians everywhere!
She’s the last one who need to be worried about gun rights. I saw a picture of her with her finger on the trigger while posing for a picture. She needs a gun safety course before she worry about gun rights!
She should sue Carey Wright for wasting our tax dollars on such a crappy education system while bragging how great it is.
7:49 - Mississippi now graduats 88% of students. We are finally one of the leading states in the USA. We should all be thankful for Carey Wright.
Virtue signalling.
You don't have to join extra-curricular activity groups to get into college. All you have to do is fog up a mirror. Your nine year old is half way to college. Book it.
I, for one, cannot wait for California to start telling MS how to run its affairs, since this seems to be a thing.
Aren’t you glad she’s using your tax dollars on the important things?
She is not fighting for "our" gun rights. Decisions by the 9th Circuit, also known as the 9th Circus, only impacts the left coast and Hawaii, Guam, etc., not Mississippi.
The case is not a California issue...it is a Constitutional issue...until the Constitution is officially jettisoned, any precedent touching the constitution effects ALL states and is, therefore, an issue for all states.
Finally Mississippi has a strong conservative as Attorney General. Gun right restrictions in California will eventually impact gun rights in other states. A strong, pro-gun attorney general we now have!
When dies she get in front of a camera to explain her position. Has anyone actually seen her-apart from the photographer who ensured 12 hours of head shots earlier this month
We don't necessarily need a strong conservative in this office. We need, at minimum, an experienced lawyer. What good is a conservative in this job without legal experience? Anybody can sign up for all these 'Won't You Join Us' lawsuits.
Some staffer spent an hour composing the letter, she signed it and sent it along. If you're a voter in MS you can vote against her next election; until then, suck it up and deal with it. If you're not a voter in MS, butt out. The "progressives" spouting this bullshit about interfering in California politics are no doubt fully supportive of MLB moving the All-Star game.
The Ninth Circuit decision is clearly and flagrantly unconstitutional, and these AG's should line up in support of the appeal; see Aisle B. Bach's comment above if your understanding is insufficient of why we should support the citizens of the Ninth District. Fitch does strike me as an opportunist (she is, after all, a politician), but even a blind hog finds an acorn from time to time.
@10:24
The problem with Lynn, and apparently you, is that she doesn’t actually understand the political philosophy she purportedly adheres to. She just signs on when it sounds like something but actually isn’t. Because, you know, state’s rights. It’s fine to try to tell California what to do, but what is she going to say when California tells Mississippi what to do. You site the all star game? MLB is a business, laissez faire. Go read your Goldwater and Reagan, you need a refresher.
Please keep it up Ms Fitch! Mississippi needs you!
@12:50 you really should try reading the constitution...you are referring to the 10th amendment I would assume from your snarky answer...this is NOT a state's rights issue...the first 9 amendments are in that order for a reason. The 10th leaves all OTHER issues not delegated or forbidden by the aforementioned to the states. Please refrain from projecting your own lack of "understanding" to others. Argue if you must but please do so from an informed position.
Aisle be bach - the appellate courts address constitutional issues? Who knew?
@7:00 am
Wow. You don’t see how Mississippi butting into a California state law is not a state’s right issue? Remember that next time MS passes a heartbeat bill and the liberals in California sue us. You, and Lynn, will be yelling about state’s rights.
And just FYI, the bill of rights is not ordered in degree of importance. The order is a result of James Madison and Roger Sherman arranging the hundreds of purposed amendments in the order of the sections of the Constitution that they would have modified.
For example, The original first amendment, which did not pass, outlined how the number of seats in Congress would rise in response to population growth (Article I, Section 2). Similarly, the original second amendment, which did not pass (it would come back as the 27th Amendment) banned members of Congress from raising their own salaries before voters had an opportunity to oust them (Article I, Section 6).
Nice try though. Thanks for playing
Aisle B Bach
The word sciolist comes to mind
When will the Enhanced Carry Law apply to the State Fairgrounds? Brandon Ampitheatre? Fix your own house first.
@1:46pm Exactly! Fitch should have been spearheading the enhanced carry initiative that would have allowed trained, responsible gun owners to carry regardless of certain state agencies blatantly violating Mississippi law. The corrupt IHL prevented the law from moving forward when it's colleges that need it most. Where's Fitch? Buying hairspray and wrinkle cream.
You should find & read the original 1933 NFA Bill submission. FDR instructed his Attorney General Homer Cummings to use the same playbook as used in the 1914 Harrison Narcotics act, to TAX & criminalize certain Narcotics out of existence. Opiates & Cocaine (That Worked Well)
In the Original 1934 Bill, HANDGUNs would be subject to the same regulations as Machine Guns. Never let a crisis go to waste. Only the refusal of Congress saved HANDGUNs from being regulated as Machine Guns. This was effectively a Gun Ban, (Disguised as a Tax) as New Pistols could be bought for less than 3.00, just as Suppressors. Adding the 200.00 tax stamp on HANDGUNs would essentially ban them just like Machine Guns. (Companies who used them in Strike Busting had no problem getting permits & paying the 200.00) At the last moment, the NFA that was put into law, removed HANDGUNS & suddenly inserted Suppressors, without any explanation of why suppressors were added.
Not to be discouraged, Homer Cummings recruited a North Carolina Senator to reintroduce legislation in 1938 to add HANDGUN registration again to the NFA & a National Ownership & Finger print database + went on NBC Radio to attempt to gain public support for it. Fortunately it didn't pass.
Homer Cummings 1938 Radio Transcript pdf
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.justice.gov/sites/default/files/ag/legacy/2011/09/16/04-25-1938.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwi1hoXJl-jvAhX0B50JHX3ICbgQFjAAegQIBhAC&usg=AOvVaw1KzVRtwKnk5umcFJJiFgId&cshid=1617662913388
Anonymous
The word SuperCaliSciolisticexpialidocious comes to mind
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