Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Hinds County Election Thread

We got us some knockdowns going on in Hinds County elections.  The big one is the Sheriff's race.  Everyone wants to vanquish Victor.  Well, paying out $330,000 for sexual harassment, lying about child murder, killing K-9's through incompetence, and letting inmates  run the jail tend to bring challengers out of the woodwork.  Who will it be? The Chief, the Marine, the Green, or some unknown darkhorse. Then there is the District Attorney's race.  We got us a prosecutor, criminal defense lawyer, and a social justice warrior who thinks we lock up too many criminals in Hinds County. Makes you feel safer, doesn't it.  The Taxman actually has some opposition this year.  Then there are the supervisors.


We got us the Bennie Machine trying to take out McQuirter while our favorite wife-beater tries to beat him as well.  Don't forget District 5 where we got us the Caveman v. the Bobcat v. the Fireman v. good ole Patty Patterson.  There is another candidate but can't think of who he or she is so he or she must not be too important.  Don't forget the legislative races.  Horhn's protege decided he was now the master and no longer the student.  Gibbs has a couple of opponents.  There are some Justice Court races but does anyone really care about them?

Fire away in the comments. 

100 comments:

Anonymous said...

Need open primaries!

Anonymous said...

The social justice warrior will won the DA case, she is endorsed by Sean king and that’s all the locals need to hear. No doubt. Crime will get even worse. Property values will fall even more.

Anonymous said...

3:18 not sure if you got self-smarted at Bass Pro or what, but the civil rights lawyer is male, not female.

Anonymous said...

I think people quit caring about Hinds county elections about 12 years ago.

Anonymous said...

I live in District 5, and I have had enough of Bobcat McGowan and his unfulfilled promises. Who is the best candidate between Chris Carson, Tony Davis, and Henry Fuller?

Anonymous said...

Jackson/HindsCo will lose a House seat or Senate seat or both after the next redistricting.

Anonymous said...

Isn't Bill Denny something like 90 years old? Can’t believe he has no primary opponent.

Anonymous said...

If by some twist of fate Hinds County wakes up and hires a competent law enforcement officer to run the department and the jail, you'll all see an immediate change in the atmosphere of safety, professionalism and community relations. Vote Richard Spooner unless you want same old same old same old.

Anonymous said...

Sooner and Tannehill have zero chance. I don’t know what they are thinking. It’s down to Victor and Vance.

Now, the DA could make a big difference. Two quality candidates and the Owens guy.

Anonymous said...

If David Archie gets on the BOS, the state might as well take over 1/1/20.

Anonymous said...

I live in Learned. I know deputies. You should talk to them. I've seen deputies out here on a regular basis. Something I didn't see last term. I don't care what happens in the jail, I care that my home is safe and is under careful watch. Mason has my vote as long as he wants to be the sheriff.

Anonymous said...

3:03 nailed it. Our primary system is very unfair to both black and white voters and black and white candidates when you have a county that is predominately one party but a district or two that majority the other party. This comment is not specific to just Hinds.

Voters should not have to choose which race they vote in. If you live in Hinds and you don't vote in the democratic primary, you miss out and you risk watching the county go back to the Bennie Thompson, Doug Anderson Kenny Stokes days.

Anonymous said...

Finally getting rid of RSS and now you tell me David L. Archie might be on the board?

Anonymous said...

Eddie Fair in a landslide. Good politician. Not the most articulate public official, but very popular with his base and his employees and knows how to run a campaign.

Vance and Mason in a run off.

Credell Calhoun won't be a Peggy II. That alone could cause a big shift on this board.

Anonymous said...

Interesting comment by 4:01....people? There's 245,000 of them living in Hinds County. Maybe you should clarify.

Anonymous said...

It's all about jobs in Hinds County. These candidates are seeking job opportunities and it's hard to find jobs with less accountability. Where in the hell can the Sheriff find a job that will allow him to screw up the way he has and still get paid? Same for all the rest. Especially justice court.

Anonymous said...

Spooner has a better chance than people think. If there is a runoff it’s most likely him and Vance.

Anonymous said...

David Archie, wasn't he the one protesting the Nissan plant a long time ago? I think I've heard him on the Kim Wade show?

Anonymous said...

If David Archie wins, forget moving out of Hinds County, you better move at least 3 counties away.

Kingfish said...

The Street Committee says Warren Martin is making a big push to take control of the Board. Yup.

Anonymous said...

Darla Palmer or Stanley Alexander can do the job. I don't think Stanley has the energy and RSS hates him, so I think its Darla's to lose.

Owens is a community organizer and won't move a case in 4 years.

DA is THE #1 issue in Hinds County.

Anonymous said...

Spooner would be a great sheriff. But there's too many ads floating around with his white face on them. Bad campaign management.

Anonymous said...

D1 Graham easily
D3 Credell easily
D4 Morgan probably

D2 and D5 will determine which Robert Graham we see next term. Word is that Bennie wants McQuirter out. That should tell the voters in district 2 all they need to know.

Bobcat is the most harmless and probably the most effective of all of them.

Anonymous said...

4:22, I think all 3 of those candidates have said to take money away from the Siemens lawsuit and spend it on a county-owned grocery store in Utica.

Seriously.

As crazy as a county-owned grocery store sounds, its even worse that they think the county has anything to do with the Siemens lawsuit. Very very sad how misinformed the Hinds electorate is.

Anonymous said...

Timothy Lewis is a great guy. Started out with a bang. But you are right, Eddie Fair wins easily. he has 40 people "working" for him.

Anonymous said...

Pray for rain on Tuesday August 6. That is our only hope.

Anonymous said...

mcqirter is supported by speaker gunn and his posse. He's an "R"...and I don't mean "racist." That should tell you all you need to know as to why bennie wants him out.

Kingfish said...

Bennie Thompson. He wants to go back to doing to Hinds County what he did with the Raymond Detention Center.

Bennie means corruption and rule of the stupid.

Anonymous said...

The current power block is McQ, Peggy, and MM. Graham and Bobcat were on the outs for the most part. Since Peggy's husband was a state rep in the house and McQ & MM are both from Clinton, that gave Gunn the board. That's why bennie really wants the board back.

Anonymous said...

Do we care about experience? Stanley Alexander has the experience and proven record as a prosecutor! My goodness, we have the opportunity to elect at least one qualified person to office in Hinds County and we need to do it! Owens has no experience in the courtroom and Palmer’s experience is as a defense attorney. I sure hope voters won’t elect someone because of “a family name” or one who hands out free snow cones! A strong District Attorney is vital for Hinds County.

Anonymous said...

Bobby “Bobcat” McGowan is the only real choice we have in District 5. He has accomplished more than some citizens give him credit for. Malcolm Johnson revealed his true character when he made the statement “women shouldn’t be supervisors” referring to the mayor’s sister. Patty Paterson is too attached to City of Jackson to be of any help in the county of District 5 and Tony Davis would be another Kenny Stokes. Vote Bobcat!

Anonymous said...

6:45...that's great speculation until you consider the board thumbed their nose at the speaker's chief of staff Nathan Wells and told him to go pound sand.

McQuirter and Gunn have a good working relationship. I don't see how that is anything but positive for the county. But what has Gunn gotten out of that board? Frankly I don't think he cares one bit what that board does.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish at 6:40 is right. Bennie sees Darrel McQuirter as a threat. Heaven help Hinds County if Bennie starts running the county again from DC.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, the street committee is also saying that Bennie is bent out of shape with Mayor Lumumba. The mayor was supposed to wait his turn quietly, but Bennie doesn't like how popular Lumumba is with Bennie's core base in Jackson.

Look for Bennie to pull the same crap in the upcoming Jackson mayor's race.

Anonymous said...

Power block. That's funny. Morgan voted with Calhoun and Graham as much as with McQuirter and McGowan. And Bobcat is just being Bobcat.

All things considered, that board as a whole has actually had a productive term. Very productive actually. The issues in Hinds County are 1)DA 2) judges 3) detention center.

Now the next board might leap frog those three things, but this board is not the biggest issue.

Anonymous said...

5:56 - I've seen deputies in Learned myself. They tend to hang around Gibbes Steakhouse, directing traffic and telling you where you can't park. Their payoff is a steak and baked potato. They don't give a hoot in hell about your house. Don't be fooled. Excellent food.

Anonymous said...

Yall go back and read all of the JJ posts about that detention center. Millions down the drain. You could have hauled in 60 mobile homes and had a better jail. Every friend of Bennie Thompson within 50 miles made money on that jail, and the county has been suffering ever since.

And now the feds are going to force the county to build another jail. And Bennie is propping up candidates just in time to get more kick backs. Toni Johnson was hand picked by Bennie.

Anonymous said...

HINDS COUNTY BOARD OF SUPERVISOR
DISTRICT 1. ROBERT GRAHAM
DISTRICT 2. DARAYL MCQUITER
DISTRICT 3. CREDELL CALHOUN
DISTRICT 4. MIKE MORGAN
DISTRICT 5. MALCOLM JOHNSON

Anonymous said...

Just listen to WMPR for the next 5 days. You won't feel content living in Ridgeland or Brandon, you'll definitely want to head towards Oxford or the coast.

Anonymous said...

Um....what about Deborah Dixon? Seriously. She represents more than Hinds, but damn.

Anonymous said...

4:22, it is actually Tony Davis who wants to build a county owned grocery store in Utica and wants to somehow pull the business license for Continental Tire. And the others are less qualified. At least Bobcat drove a steam roller for 20 years.

Anonymous said...

It's not Bennie who wants to regain control of this board, its Jackson!!!! Wake up people!!! If you live in Hinds County but outside of the city of Jackson, you better vote democrat on Tuesday. Stay away from the supervisor candidates endorsed by Stokes and Bennie. And pay attention to the DA and sheriff race. If Jackson gets control of this board, you are doomed!

Kingfish said...

Gunn has no involvement with the board. Gunn is not exactly on great terms w the local officials in his district.

As for Denney, Gunn is all in on him as he needs him desperately for redistricting. Word went out that he would get six figures spent to win Denny's race.

Anonymous said...

7:30 that is sad. When they direct traffic at Gibbes, they are trying to earn some extra cash and are not on county time. Mainly because they barely make enough to feed their family. Give em a break man.

Side note....Gibbes is great. Better than most steaks in the tri county area.

Anonymous said...

I live in Raymond. Every main road in every direction has been paved. A few bridges were out for a while but they have been replaced. Don't mess this up. No way in hell a bunch of community organizers need to be put in charge of building a new jail. NO WAY

Anonymous said...

Good point by Kingfish. Next legislature and next board will be in charge of redistricting. Look at what happened last time Hinds County redistricted. The guy that drew the maps is now the national director of the NAACP and the county is still defending a lawsuit brought by the state GOP party.

Anonymous said...

Alexander for DA. The problem in Jackson/Hinds County starts with the supervisors. They are all criminals

Anonymous said...

Hinds / Jackson are toast...over! Zero leadership, zero care. I spent the day in 3 different government offices....place is a goner. No one cares or gives a shit about their job or people they are serving....taxes are ridiculously high and what do you get...murder a day, shitty roads, and shitty service from all hinds county agencies.

Vote away, not going to do anyone any good except those with handouts. Get out while you can............

Anonymous said...

Please vote for Bo Brown for House District 70 in the Democratic Primary. He is running against incumbent Kathy Sykes and Tammy Cotton. He is a class act.

Anonymous said...

8:14 only a loser spends all day in three different county offices. Try email

Anonymous said...

Do tell 7:52. Any specifics?

Anonymous said...

Jody Owens for Mississippi State Attorney General, he’s the best candidate! I wish he would have ran for AG!

Anonymous said...

Victor wins. No run off

Anonymous said...

Help me out. Is it Ponto Downing or Pronto Downing?

Anonymous said...

We cannot have a repeat of 8 years ago! Sheriff Malcolm McMillin was not defeated by a better candidate, he was defeated by this ridiculous election process we have. REPUBLICANS VOTE DEMOCRAT August 6 or we will have no voice in the Hinds.County elections. We must elect the most qualified individual for District Attorney and Sheriff. If not, this county is doomed!

Anonymous said...

Waller's (remote) chances die on the vine if Hinds Repubs cross over.

You already don't have a voice @9:38.

Anonymous said...

Victor Mason really is a POS. The worst office holder I know of Statewide.

Anonymous said...

I got a car tag about 3 weeks ago in Jackson. Lady was really friendly and helpful. The surrounding area looked like a hell hole, but no complaints about the service.

Anonymous said...

All the supervisors are criminals. Ok, sure. I guess that's why the MDA and the governor handed them a $2 billion tire plant.

Anonymous said...

I have not heard a peep about Toni Johnson. She is the woman who Bennie put up to take out McQuirter. She ran and won an election commissioner seat 3 years ago. Six months into the term she got fined by the ethics commission for illegal meetings. A year later she resigned. Now she wants to be a supervisor in the most populated county in Mississippi. Check out her Facebook page. Check out the absence of any qualifications. Check out this morning's endorsement by Bennie Thompson.

We are talking about another potential Kenny Stokes here.

Anonymous said...

Mason has done a great job running patrol and a crap job running the jail. I'll take it! I don't give a crap about the jail, but I do appreciate the HCSO showing up any time I need them.

Anonymous said...

Waller's chances died 2 years ago when he failed to start campaigning. You can't show up 3 month's before an election and run for the top office in the state. Especially with his lack of personality.

And for a kick, go Google "David Archie Jackson Jambalaya"

Anonymous said...

D1 Graham
D2 McQuirter
D3 Calhoun
D4 Morgan
D5 McGowan
SO Mason
DA Dorothy
TC Fair

Will be so glad when next Wednesday gets here.

Anonymous said...

Bennie Thompson....the US Congressman? How petty of him to not let go of Hinds County politics. I’m sure he sees financial opportunity for himself somewhere in this.

Anonymous said...

Tate
Delbert
Watson
Taggart
Lott

Yes, Waller will lose the GOP primary even in Hinds County.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, 7:08 a.m. for stating the obvious. If Waller had been serious about winning this race he would have started his campaign in 2017. His campaign, such as it is, has been anemic to put it mildly. He has my vote, but I'm not optimistic about his chances.

Anonymous said...

Mason and Vance in a runoff. Vance will win! Too many people in the race for anything else to happen.

Anonymous said...

8:58 OK. What about the money the Hinds BOS spent on buddy deals that were supposed to be used to maintain the radio systems for the county. The money wasted on the current jail contractor and the failure of the BOS to actually fix what they have at the jail or build a new facility. The BOS also has the option to hire additional prosecutors etc to move the docket. That's just a start. Enough details? probably not but you'll probably never be convinced anyway

Anonymous said...

8:37, if you are going to call them criminals, at least accuse the right people. This board is the one that fired the radio people. It was the crew two terms ago who brought in Airwave. Kenny and his friends.

Anonymous said...

8:37...there is no “current jail contractor”. The sheriff runs the jail. If you mean the contractor who built the jail, that was two decades ago when Bennie was in the board. Why do you think he is trying to get in the boards business again? Maybe a new jail is coming?

This is the best board Hinds has had in many years. Don’t give it back to Bennie.

Anonymous said...

What a minute....you call the board criminals because they haven’t built a new jail? And because the sheriff refuses to run the jail? And because the DA won’t push 3 year old cases to trial? Yeah, that’s a criminal board of supervisors. Thanks for pointing that out Bobby Shuler.

Anonymous said...

Malcolm Johnson would get my vote if I lived in Hinds County.

Anonymous said...

Yes the sheriff runs the jail but with limited means. Both 908 and 910 prove the point that they will never be convinced otherwise. Good luck with your election

Anonymous said...

The current sheriff is out. You don’t get challenged by 7 other candidates and make it. There’s a reason your getting challenged. You suck and everybody, but you, know it. The employees better get on board with another team because yours is going down in flames.

Truth be told, they already have, that’s part of the reason you are out come August 6th

Anonymous said...

Whoever wins each election, we all lose. I don’t see much bright and shiny future in Hinds County. Morgan is the hope I see in BOS and as long as the people of Hinds County elect judges and DAs that are soft on crime, friends of the criminals , and support the revolving door policies, we are all losers...

Anonymous said...

Bennie Thompson has personally blocked every proposal brought to the US House that would have benefitted Hinds County because of his jealousy of McQuirter’s popularity in his old district.

Bennie was totally in the dark the day Continental was announced because everybody involved knew Bennie would sabotage that project too. He gets re-elected by keeping people down. McQuirter comes along and actually does things to benefit his district and constituents and all hell breaks loose. What has Bennie ever accomplished other than getting elected?

Anybody he endorses is a pawn for more of the same.

Anonymous said...

Vance is a nice guy, but he’s worthless as a leader in law enforcement. Just look at JPD, he was the number one or number two man for years, but out of all his accomplishments he missed the one big one. Keeping Jackson safe. Violent crime was not squashed under his leadership. The needle went the wrong way. If you don’t want Jackson county wide don’t vote for him.

Anonymous said...

Kenny Stokes is pushing hard to get Bobcat McGowan out and Uncle Bennie is working hard to replace McQuirter. That should tell us all we need to know about those two seats.

Anonymous said...

Remind me which of these supervisors voted for Airwaves and for the jail contractor?

Anonymous said...

I don’t live in Hinds County, but I’m working all throughout it every day and I’ve noticed one thing in particular. You see Spooner everywhere. He’s at 5 functions and appearances to every one of Vance’s.

This guy shows up to work and has a genuine attitude and desire to make his county better. The people have taken notice and they are supporting him in droves. If he keeps doing what he’s been doing he’ll be your next sheriff

Anonymous said...

No one cares about Justice Court races until they're a landlord trying to get some deadbeat out of their unit or they're a tenant getting f*cked by some off-grounds landlord.

Those races are important -- and we're paying those judges 6 figures -- so get informed, y'all. They handle 200 cases per day, initial appearances, landlord-tenant, consumer debt, etc, etc.

With that said, Brian Grizzell has really impressed me for District 2... all the others, who knows!

Anonymous said...

I forgot about Justice Court. In District 4, Kenny Lewis is the leader of the pack and has the full endorsement of just about every leader in District 4, black and white. Kenny Lewis is solid.

Joanna Archie and Vern Gavin are still blabbering about the election being stolen from them 4 years ago because of vote irregularities.

Anonymous said...

Spooner doesn't have a chance, but if he is a strong third, the runoff candidates could sew up a win by naming him undersheriff.

Don't think Mason and Vance won't throw somebody under the buss to sew up a win.

Anonymous said...

11:34 Grizell may be well qualified and impressive but that won't matter. That's become a "family seat" and he's not family. That's becoming the way
in Hinds County, your qualification is your kin. The voters don't know better so why not?

Anonymous said...

Victor Mason has a snowball's chance in hell of winning! People I have talked to are saying Vance.

Anonymous said...

Who wins Credell's seat? Did his fight with Deborah Dixon hurt or help him?

Anonymous said...

9:57 makes a good point....keep electing bad judges and DAs and the future is grim.

But as far as your comment about the board, Morgan would be the first to tell you he can't get anything done without the support of the board or at least two other board members. The last 3 years have been very boring. No "yo mamma" quotes in the paper, no bogus contracts with companies like airwave, etc. Anybody paying attention knows this board is about as good as we could ask for. But they continue to suffer for the sins of previous boards. The comments on here about Stokes and Thompson should scare anybody.

Anonymous said...

All these lawsuits about districting and suppressing the vote, but nobody wants to talk about these closed primaries. Bad for everybody. Bad!

Anonymous said...

4:01, your comment is offensive. I live in the most populated county in the state; Hinds. And a lot of people care, black and white.

I guess you prefer to count Hinds' population as fractional people.

Anonymous said...

11:05 it’s evident you don’t live in Hinds County if you think attending functions for limited groups is what is going to get someone elected in Hinds County. Vance is a household name in Hinds County wether they like him or not he is known. Spooner was a backer of Mason 4 yrs ago, got sideways with him now wants his job...he has the backing of most of the radical Tannehill supporters from last election and many from outside counties who cannot legally vote for him and one of his major endorsers claims he is a Republican running as a Democrat. Hinds County has problems but the voters aren’t blind.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of throw-backs.....the guy running for supervisor in D4 was the administrator back in 2010. That was during the days of the Robert Graham, Doug Anderson, George Smith triumvirate. Nearly bankrupted the county. Remember the furloughs? So you got three seats in jeopardy of going back to the good ole days of Airwave and furloughs and bond rating cuts. And you just need one out of the three to fall.

Anonymous said...

Its bad enough that Bennie Thompson is my representative (ha!) but now the BOS is about to be back under his control again?

Just in time to build a new jail. Just watch, some federal money will show up like magic and by the end of the term, we'll have a new jail.....the same or worse than the old jail because all of Bennie's cousins will get the contracts just like the last jail.

Anonymous said...

Rather than base your vote on what you read on an anonymous message board, or worse base your vote on what coo coo birds say on social media, talk to your mayor or aldermen or legislator. They know what's working and what's not working in the county better than anybody and that goes for every town in Hinds County as well as Madison and Rankin. The rubber hits the road when you have to deal with mayors and city officials.

Anonymous said...

10:17, no.
Vance is more than a nice guy. He was a respected and experienced and effective Chief. The downfall in the criminal justice system is that JPD can arrest all day long, but the judges and DA release them and the cycle begins again.

Anonymous said...

I don't even understand why anyone is wasting keystrokes trying to push for Spooner. He and Tannehill will cancel each other out and Vance will end up in a runoff with either Mason or Cloy.

Anonymous said...

Vance is responsible for making JPD reactive instead of proactive. Success rises and falls on leadership. Under his leadership Jackson became the 5th most city in America to most likely wake up dead in. From there it only got worse.

Over 5 years he was the number 2 and number 1 man at JPD. He was in charge of everything.

These stats are what drives our questions...

With approx. $35million budget and approx. 350 officers, he elevated the city of Jackson, Ms from the #7 most dangerous city in the entire USA (as far as murder goes) to being a contender for the #1 spot...WOW!!!

We are going to actually beat Detroit, MI and Newark, NJ for murders per 100,000 people, an award they will gladly give up.

The Sheriff Office has an approx. $20million budget, but approx. 420 employees...not to mention, a lot more responsibilities than JPD, including a much bigger chunk of dirt to protect.

As the number one man at JPD (with close to 30 years with the dept) it’s easily depicted that he was keenly aware of how the dept functioned, yet with all that understanding, position, and budget, we went from #7 to being the contender for the #1 spot among all of the cities in America to most likely “wake up dead”.

If that is his TRUE past job performance, what is he going to do differently at the Sheriff Office, that he hasn’t done for close to 30 years? This is a question many are asking...they ask because at the Sheriff Office he’ll have to do more with less budget, and I know the residents of Hinds County do not want the same awards for violent crime that he helped win for the city of Jackson.

Anonymous said...

@ 1:33 you better pay closer attention to the voters, especially the ones in the city. They don’t follow or voice your line of thinking

Kingfish said...

The sweetheart contracts happened under George, Doug, and Graham.

Anonymous said...

From looking at the Madison election thread, I don't see a lot of difference in the discussion except for the color of the skin and the income levels of the candidates and voter bases.

Anonymous said...

Robert Graham has proven to be a good supervisor when there are other intelligent supervisors on the board, and he has proven to be an opportunist when the board is stacked with idiots he can manipulate. He took the 2010 board to the bank with him (Stokes was clearly an idiot and Anderson didn't know his own name).

Graham is desperately hoping a few supervisors get replaced by idiots next Tuesday. There are plenty you can vote for.

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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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