I really don't know which one of you knuckleheads did this but I must admit it is pretty funny. Go to dorseycarson.com. Whoever did it, after we've had fun for a few days, switch it over to his campaign website.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
33 comments:
Isn't that election already over? I thought "Ike" Cottonberger had already anointed Carson the winner.
That is funny.
You can also go to www.electdorsey.com for his real website.
40% BVAP spells trouble for Mr. Denny...who is madder than hell that he could not erase some neighborhoods from his district.
Should prove to be interesting anyway.
I'll admit to going to the URL twice before I understood what it was doing. A funny/odd practical joke.
when i go to dorseycarson.com it brings me back here... im not seeing anything. what am i looking for?
40% BVAP spells trouble for Mr. Denny...who is madder than hell that he could not erase some neighborhoods from his district.
You obviously don't know dick about the district nor the proposed House plan Sparky. If Bill Denny is upset, AND HE'S NOT, about anything it wouldn't be about neighborhood subtraction. If you are an example of the idiots supporting Carson then Denny will win easily.
I'm with NMC. Did the same thing before I got it. Nice!
Somebody has too much time on their hands.
KF: can you put a banner up telling folks to search for stories about Carson on your site? Or would that make you a little too complicit with the joke?
Dorsey is Rudy's lawyer and is running against Bill Denney for a seat in the house.
You want banners about Dorsey there is one solution: buy an ad.
Maybe Carson can do some joint campaign appearances with Superstar Bobby Graham.
11:04 AM Wow. Someone is a little testy!
Bill Denny was about as animated as a human could be at the hearings on redistricting. He did want to run under the "new" district because it erased heavily black voting areas which have changed over the years. The neighborhoods are in Ridgeland near Amerigo.
And I have seen the maps and the BVAP is much higher under the "old" district. Its near 40% now and would have been closer to 26% under the "new" district maps which were rejected.
So if I don't know "dick" about it...that means you know even less...but you still manage to be a "dick" about it...which is cool....you can be a dick all you want...you are pretty good at being a dick...dick.
3:37 - so, "Bieber Fever" is old hat, now replaced by "Wiener" Fever ;-)
dorseycarson.com bring you back to here. somebody has a dns problem. whats the big deal?
Someone apparently went out and bought the domain name, probably cost ten bucks or so, then re-directed it to this site. No idea who it was. Didn't even know about it until one of his pals emailed me about it a few weeks ago.
Please Matt. Give Bill a call before talking about shit for which you are without a clue. Were you standing right next to him during that animation listening to his every word? Do you even know what he said? Do you want his number? I'm sure he'd be happy to talk to you and set the record straight.
The one Ridgeland precinct doesn't mean diddly squat in the bigger picture of the district. The lower BVAP in the House plan that you've gone all harpy-as-Ladd about was the result, by far, of the white precincts that were being added to the district NOT the exclusion of that one lonely Ridgeland box with high resident churn that averaged less than 425 total votes in the last two district-wide generals (509 TOTAL in 2003 and 309 TOTAL in 2007) for H64.
Your narrative about Denny's vulnerability because of that one solitary Ridgeland box has more holes than bad swiss cheese but you keep repeating it over and over again as if it will magically come true if you just say it enough. Like I said Matt, you don't know dick.
Denny will be just fine. I'm sure of that.
Someone needs to clue in 10:30+3:37 that BVAP is an unreliable predictor of turnout.
FYI. I see 6 Dorsey Carson related domains pointing here KF.
11:04 AM and 4:26
All I am saying is the election will be a lot closer than most people think...and I think with the changing demographic (which Denny does not like and wanted to avoid) Carson could actually win this race. Yes, voter registration and turn out are most important. BVAP is just one indicator.
It should be interesting to watch...and extremely competitive.
Carson is actually a pretty good guy who wants to do something for his district.
I am sure Denny is a great guy....but I have not seen any legislation he has passed...well...ever...I know he wanted to add an attempted murder statute but somehow that chore has evaded him for 20 some odd years....am I missing something Denny sponsored and helped pass?
And..thanks again for being a dick....I am sure you will not disappoint.
Dorsey is a dick because he defended Madison County Kingpin Rudy Warnock.
The fact that he was paid to do it makes him a whore.
Now, can we please cease and desist with the playground shouting match?
Matt Eichelberger: All I am saying is the election will be a lot closer than most people think.
No that isn't what you've been saying Matt but it is understandable that you would try to change your story when presented with actual facts.
Dorsey Carson is a spoon-fed white boy attorney from a privileged background of private schools and special considerations who thinks that black voters in H64 are so monolithic and brain dead that they will automatically vote for nearly any dumb fuck as long as they see the 'D' seal of approval affixed next to their name on the ballot.
And there is no way in Hades I can disappoint you Matt as long as your dick remains firmly planted in the palm of your hand there in your downtown high rise apartment.
5:49 it's hard to argue with that...cause Rudy was found guilty of fraud righ? Oh...no....he wasn't was he? In fact the state auditor found Rudy underbilled....
You are clearly just an idiot.
5:56 Yes...read my first post...said the race should be interesting....did you read that? Dick.
Um...spoon fed? Dorsey? He was certainly not on WIC growing up....and has class parents but spoon fed? No.
If being spoon fed means one should not run for this district seat as you state...then Bill Denny needs to quit ASAP.
One thing is for sure...you are an abject moron...do the world a favor (including your kids, ex wife and the bartender she's banging) and stab yourself in the forehead with some scissors
Ohhhhh SNAP!!!!!
Well, that was an unproductive thread. Thanks.
Then why did you comment?
Let me ammend my statement, after reading that unproductive thread, I came to the conclusion whoever wrote it is wasting my time.
BY the way, Matt, the district BVAP is 35.48%, not 40%
Pete Perry
Matt always round way, way up Pete. It makes the bullshit he's pumping smell that much sweeter.
At the rate the Wvap is leaving combined with the influx of the Bvap....it will soon be a democrat seat...question is...can Carson convert?
Even has Pete Perry stepping out of his Jaguar to take note....
If this is people who aren't worried...I would hate to see a full fledged problem!
/\/\ Another substantiation-free swag courtesy of Matt Eichelberger /\/\
Dorsey has no interest in the citizens of the district and is only interested in Dorsey. Someone should look into the cases on which he has worked and what that says about him.
5:16 Please elaborate. What cases has Dorsey taken on which demonstrate your theory, i.e. That Dorsey has no interest in the people of his district and he is out for only himself?
Get real. Dorsey is nothing more than one of Bobby's paid House Chippendales.
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