U.S. Attorney Miguel Hurst issued the following statement.
Thursday, January 7, 2021
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
47 comments:
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out
He will be greatly missed by his party of unlawful disorder.
To the victors go the spoils. Let the appointments begin.
So many negative consequences to November's results. Losing good USAs like Mike is one. Now the US Attorneys' offices will be back to the "hear no evil, see no evil" approach from the Obama days.
The resume appended to the resignation is irrelevant and preposterous. These positions are appointed by the president. Biden, like Clinton, will replace them all. You can look for the lawyer for the MadCo Board of Supervisors to be ceremoniously shoved into this or another position of equal stature. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it might be a Tyson chicken.
Just in time to receive a judicial appointment.
Job well done! Unfortunately his replacement will likely be a progressive Soros-like appointee, though of course appointed by Biden or the incoming defacto POTUS Harris.
Possible candidate: Baby Chok
This is routine, and is not effective until Trump's last day in office. The MSM's headline of course makes it sound like it is something else.
Cool so we will get a Soros Jr. hand picked AG.
One of many consequences of the stolen election. More yet to come. A good man gone. Hate to see this happen.
Hurst did a good job as U.S. Attorney. I hate to see him go, but it's what happens when there's a regime change. I'd like to think we'd be lucky enough to get Greg Davis back; he did a fine job as the former U.S. Attorney for our district.
Poor Mikey, he wasn’t able to ride his appointment through to his next run for public office.
Accomplished nothing in Jackson. Nice work if you can get it.
Project Eject, anyone?
I can't remember, but who did Hurst succeed as US Attorney?
Gonna work with Espy then run for office?
Can't say I blame him for getting out now,
God Bless for him trying to "do right" for as long as he did.
The troll force is strong on here.
Classy. This guy sends out a seven page manifesto taking credit for the work of investigators and prosecutors when he was just a figurehead and an empty suit.
Y'all are a bunch of retards if you think he's resigning now because Trump is in some sort of trouble. He's resigning January 19th- like ALL US attorneys do at the start of every new administration .
Posturing aside, why did Hurst resign?
This was bound to happen.
The Dems can blame everything on themselves.
Over the last four years,thugs burn down cities and they are "peaceful protesters".
Then, some pissed off patriots show what they can do . . . and the media freaks out.
If anything came out of yesterday, Schumer and Nancy were on their toilets longer than normal this morning.
But the thud antics on I-55 at Lakeland Drive concerns me more than anything in Washington DC.
“... Soros-like appointee”
Why do you assholes give a fuck about Soros so much?
Time to get a job, Mr. Coattails rider.
He did a great job! With every new POTUS resignations are required as these positions are Appointed by the incoming POTUS! Thank you for your service Mike!
@ 8:21 Not required, but they are the norm. A few can stay on between administrations, but they are rare.
Why would he time it for Biden to replace him????
We will do much worse no matter who the Dems appoint. Mike tried to help clear the backlog in Jackson. He is a fine young man and will go far despite his being a Conservative! We are going to need every well experienced person in the very near future.
Street Committee says Ole Greg will return to his job. Background check will be much easier for him.
Greg was horrid. And his house just got shot up and his office was burglarized a while back. He was not a good choice.
Baby Chok will be pleased
As well as the criminals
Didnt this guys officr successfully take down some bad actors that local leo was unable to as well as bag some traffickers?
I hope he will run for the State attorney general's position in three years. I think he'd make an excellent attorney general.
Mike tried to make Jackson a better place to live.
"I hope he will run for the State attorney general's position in three years. I think he'd make an excellent attorney general."
Agreed, but, as with a certain Rep up in Madison County, you'd have to keep a lot of girls out of the voting booths and on the tennis courts on election day to take down 'red dress'.
Biden will most likely appoint whoever Obama had while in office. He has in pretty much every other position or indicated he will.
Ole Greg will receive his 2nd AA appointment. Baby Chok, Bennie, criminals, ACLU, and NAACP will be dancing for joy. LEOs, not so much.
Did Greg get much done when he was there before?
January 7, 2021 at 7:42 PM
Pay attention to who Soros funds. Like the Jackson DA. I'll go ahead and spoil it: Progressives.
You can't fire me, I quit!!!!!
1. The US Attorney is a political appointee, and when a presidential election occurs, the US Attorney is out of a job typically when the opposing party wins the election.
2. I worked with Mike in the US District Court system for many years, and he is one of the most hard working, honest and wicked smart assistant US Attorney’s I had the privilege of working with in that office.
Those of you who don’t know him or aren’t familiar with the way the position is filled might want to do a little research before commenting.
The criminals in Jackson are breathing a sigh of relief.
Wasn’t there some sort of controversy when Trump replaced the attorney in the Southern District of New York?
A great man, natural born police.
Yes, 3:36, there was. As I recall it was because Bill Bar announced the resignation before even talking to the U.S. attorney first, as his office was investigating some of Trump's pals, in order to replace him with someone who had no prior experience as a prosecutor.
This simply opens up the process that always results in more people like Ginsberg.
Mike Hurst was a pro and all the things a sane, decent, not smart ass person would want as a US attorney. People here on this white trash blog just love being "little". The "anonymous" comment section has saved many a dog from being kicked.
Time to get a real job?
No...he will go to some PAC sponsored cush job until he runs for his next government gig.
He might can help donnytrump cause donny is in a heap of shit.
I expect 2021-2024 numbers to match 2020s.
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