Sometimes something happens that shows all is right with the world:
OK, Bill. Get off your ass. It's time.
Monday, September 16, 2019
Could Far be Near?
OK, Bill. Get off your ass. It's time.
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2019
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September
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- Abandon All Hope.....
- Tonight on The Factor
- The Return of Zoltar
- Jay Hughes for Lieutenant Governor
- Bigger Pie: Is PERS Fair to Current Employees?
- The Honky Tax
- Stokes is Gone.... For Awhile
- When Faith Fizzles
- Bill Crawford: Predatory v. Preposterous in Missis...
- Ouch!
- Jackson Drops Ball on Library.... Again
- Dumbass of the Day
- Another Bank Dragged into Lamar Adams Case
- Dorothy Returns
- Priester Speaks!
- Heretic Alert!
- 50 Years Ago Today
- Silver Alert
- Hope for Those Caught in Addiction's Grip
- Meechigan Meltdown
- 2nd MDOT Employee Arrested for Embezzlement
- Homicide #63
- Northshore Parkway Closures Announced
- The Latest C's
- Good Guys Win One
- Sid Salter: Shades of 1999 in 2019?
- Just Wow
- NE Jackson Woman Indicted for Check Forgery
- Water Main Break Shuts Down Downtown
- You Can't Make This Up
- Bigger Pie Forum: Mississippi Overpays on PERS Man...
- Hate It When This Happens
- 12 Years for Witness Intimidation
- Looking Under the Hood
- District Attorney Candidate in Jail
- Police Seek Ridgeland Liquor Store Thief
- More Vaping Illnesses Occur
- Doing the South Bend Flop
- JPS Improves, No Longer Failing
- Madison Busts Auto Burglars
- To Open-Carry or not Open-Carry....
- R.I.P., Jevan Snead
- Hemp Task Force Meets Wednesday
- Sunday Morning Sermon
- Bill Crawford: Preposterous Promises Taking Over P...
- Coming Soon....
- The Ever-Shrinking Stingray
- Chancellor Barksdale?
- Thieves Darken Jackson
- Enoch Turns Snitch
- Finally Some Justice for Chuck? (Updated)
- Belhaven Moves Toward Forming CID
- Thug Convicted of Domestic Violence & Burglary
- UMC Builds New HIV Model of Care
- Madison Burglars Arrested
- Charter Schools are Working
- Please Like Me
- Bye-Bye Batte
- The Return of Dorothy
- WLBT: Zoo Management Company Doesn't Have Required...
- Fire at Trademart
- Sid Salter: Mississippi Needs Accurate Census in 2020
- Hope But No Change
- JPS Improves, Clinton, Madison, Pearl, Rankin Get A's
- More Mississippi Schools Earn A's
- River Closed This Weekend for Cleanup
- Warriors Bonfire Ceremony Friday Night
- Reward Offered for Alleged Voyeur
- Egbert's Wife Asks for Donations
- Hood Accepts TV Debates
- Could Far be Near?
- Buffalo Wild Wings Holding Fundraiser for Deputy S...
- Update on Accused Killer of Snake Man
- More Money + Fewer Students = F
- $778 Million? What $778 Million?
- Tate Accepts Debate Invitations, Crickets from Hood
- When Words Lose Their Meaning
- Bill Crawford: Preying Catching On in DC
- Booze Never Asks a Question
- Tate Fires Back at Hood
- Idiots of the Day
- Judge Says No to Snow
- A Day in the Life of Jay
- Into the Storm
- Ridgeland Police Seek Burglar
- 2 Classics Return
- Check In on FB, Check Out with Insurance
- Title Fight Tonight!
- State Auditor Gives Blues Commission the Blues
- The Incredibly Shrinking JPS
- Attorneys DQ'ed in Water Bill Lawsuit
- Hood Releases Report on Reeves
- Idiots of the Day
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- For Governor, Tate Reeves
- Sid Salter: Legislature to Change Leadership
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September
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
- Presenting the Mississippi State Capitol (Video)
- Editorial: The airport belongs to Jackson. Period.
- Kelly arrested for taking pics of Rose Cochran
- The Real Face of Mississippi Government
- PERS gets mo' money but funding level falls
- Majority black public school districts spend more, waste more, fail more
- Jackson's water bond failure: The REST of the story.
- Time to return fire on Banks
- Supervisor votes on projects next to land he owns
- Throwdown at the Levee Board
- Door shuts on another life
- Truth begins to come out in Irby case
- Judge orders interview of Irby
- Steadivest: Snakes or snake-bitten?
- Post-election thoughts
- Rest of the story about Crisler's shooting
- Jackson paying $4 million in fees
- Will Jackson end up like Birmingham
- Record-breaking fraud?
- FBI contacted MVT about Evans
- Heather Spencer police reports
- An open letter to John McCain
- Are your 401k's safe from Democrats?
- Democrats' Plans for Controlling the Media
- Who is Teresa Ghilarducci?
- Kingfish wins at Ethics Commission
- Tribe of Obama
- Berry V. Aetna (rankin County Cesspool)
- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
- Jim Hood: Liar
- JFP Tax Problems? (See comments)
- The SafeCity Bill
- Isn't this called secession?
- A Black Governor in Mississippi?
- Time to grade Miles' exam
- Domestic Violence & Divorce in Mississippi
- Truthwatch, eh?
- What is Jackson Jambalaya?
- Election Night Thoughts
- Counter-Insurgency for Beginners
- Jazz for Beginngers
- Mayor Melton's Soljah
- A Leopard Can't Change His Spots, Can Jere Nash?
- Harborwalk Hoax?
- A Pox on All Your Houses
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- Harborwalk Thread (Jackson's Latest Boondoggle)
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- Clay Edwards Show
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
6 comments:
HOORAY!!
Sanity returns.
Wonderful!
"Somewhere in the distance, a dog barked." So happy to get this news, KF.
I've been revisiting Calvin for decades on gocomics.com. It never gets old, but it would be a major treat to have some new material.
"The Inconvenience Store" I haven't laughed that hard in years. In these times, nonpolitical humor is precious.
That would be wonderful if The Far Side returns. It has always been my favorite.
Sometimes I bought papers solely for The Far Side. It is one of my favorite comic strips of all time. I even received a book as a gift. Larson is a genius.
If only Bloom County would come back.
The Far Side is particularly apt for an "End of Times" kind of era. I expect it to poke fun at the fact that we're destroying the planet and the comic strip to be branded a "liberal conspiracy." Anything that highlights billionaires building space pods for themselves while we run out of habitable land and food will be decried as socialism.
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