Thursday, January 3, 2019

Tate Announces Run for Governor

Leftenant Governor Tate Reeves issued the following press release.

Lieutenant Governor Tate Reeves formally entered the 2019 gubernatorial race today, committing to be a governor dedicated to growing the careers of the future while guarding the Mississippi values that never change.

“I believe in the great potential of our state and of our people,” said Reeves, who was joined by his wife Elee and their three daughters at state Republican Party headquarters. “We are growing a strong economy that will provide good-paying careers for the next generation. Mississippi needs conservative leaders who will stand with President Trump and work to strengthen our state.”

Reeves plans to kickoff a border-to-border retail campaign across the state after the legislative session ends in the spring. “I am going to finish the job voters elected me to do as lieutenant governor – guarding the taxpayers’ dollars and implementing strong conservative policy,” Reeves said.

As lieutenant governor, Reeves pushed for a smart balanced budget, lower taxes and better educational options for all. He has been the strongest voice in the capitol against unnecessary spending and debt and for education reform. He is committed to making Mississippi the safest place for unborn children and protecting Mississippians’ Second Amendment Rights.

“I am proud of my record as a conservative fighter,” Reeves said. “I pushed successfully for economic policies that encourage job creation and get more investment in classrooms and I have protected the Constitutional freedoms that are important to all Mississippians.”

“Our way of life is second to none. We have to defend it against liberals in Washington and Hollywood and we have to create the business climate and skilled workforce that will enable our kids and their kids to stay here and make Mississippi’s future even brighter.”

114 comments:

Anonymous said...

I guess that is one way to get Jackson streets repaved.

Anonymous said...

OMG, no!!!!

Anonymous said...

"Our way of life"??? what is that way of life?

Anonymous said...

I hope he doesn't survive the highway scandal.

Michael Scott said...

NO, GOD!

NO, GOD PLEASE NO!

NO!

NO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Anonymous said...

Rankin County's Big Boy enters the fray.....he screwed up PERS.....he paved his driveway with my money....no thanks biggun…...im done with you

Anonymous said...

Usually the first one to jump in ain't the winner.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait to see the private service road from the Sillers Building to the Guv-na's Mansion to help Tate avoid traffic. Will MDOT charge a toll? Will it be Republican only? So many answers and so little time.

Anonymous said...

Lawd, what a way to kick off his campaign, what a mealy mouth fool he is. He's going to need that optimism. Hood is going to mop the floor with him.

Anonymous said...

Never Tater!!!!

Anonymous said...

No, just no.

Anonymous said...

Everything he says is a contradiction. Preserving Mississippi' "values" is what made us the asshole of the country in the first place. How the hell will those same ole policies make a future for ALL of Mississippi's children. Maybe ALL don't matter anyway...

Anonymous said...

His election as governor will allow for continuation of 1) young talent drain 2) lackluster economic growth relative to peer Southeastern states 3) a state flag that offends a large percentage of our own population, let alone other capital investors 4) crumbling of the state’s only true urban core and capital city and 5) healthcare disparities, including continued financial struggles for rural healthcare centers. Hopefully one day we will wake up and realize we need to elect transformative leaders, not those who aren’t willing to do the right thing for the next generations.

Anonymous said...

He's got my vote. We need a strong conservative.

Anonymous said...

I will always vote for him over corrupt Jim Hood, but please find a GOP alternative. Thanks

Anonymous said...

The GOP's best, and only, argument is "hey, at least we are better than the democrats".

Anonymous said...

Way to go Tater - insult your wife and daughters, classy!

@2:51, c'mon, you know..."our" values, "our" way of life.

Anonymous said...

This is a great day for Mississippi! God Bless Tate

Anonymous said...

Guess that one "nay-sayer" finished their thoughts, finally. Tate has my vote and I see no one else on the horizon I would even consider. He is an honest, God-fearing, family man who is trying to bring our State into this century. It is embarrassing to see a map of the USA and Mississippi be one of the top 5 tax states. We have work to do and he has done his homework and knows how to get it done. Go Tate!

Anonymous said...

He's a helluva lot better than Hood!

Anonymous said...

Pssshhhh!!!

Anonymous said...

His war chest will help but he is disliked by way more people than he thinks. Having a democrat in office at the state level wouldn't be the worst thing. Cant put them at the federal level-especially senate but a democrat governor for 4 or even 8 years wouldn't be the end of the world.

Anonymous said...

So many anti Trump, anti Republican, anti Tate dummykrats on here. Y’all really think you can put “Conway” from the hood in the governor’s mansion. Dream on. Better still, quit trying to obstruct everything and try cooperating and getting along for a change. Naaaah! That isn’t going to happen. Tate will squash him like a bug.

Anonymous said...

Tata Tot might just lose to Jimmy the Kimmel Hood.

Anonymous said...

Does every single Mississippi politician have to mention abortion, guns, and "Hollywood liberals"? Even Lucien Smith's stump speech included that trifecta.

What is laughable is the comment about protecting "Our Way of Life" but also wanting to encourage people to stay in or move to Mississippi. That way of life is why everyone leaves!

Anonymous said...


I like Mike

Anonymous said...

I think Hood would be infinitely better

Anonymous said...

Governor Tater-Tot!

Anonymous said...

All you pin headed, college educated, intellectual snobs, who want to change our way of life and Mississippi values can leave any time now!

What. Already gone. Never mind.

Anonymous said...

That was a really awful announcement speech. "Our way of life is second to none" is a really delusional statement to make. I hope Delbert Hoseman and Bill Waller Jr will join the race.

Anonymous said...

Best wishes to him. But, I'm voting for Hood, unless Bill Waller, Jr., enters the race for governor.

Anonymous said...

This lifelong Republican will vote for Hood over Tater. Hopefully another Republican will beat him in the primary.

Anonymous said...

Having a check on the yahoos like Gunn and others would be a good thing. They’ve become drunk with their power and adopted corruption. It’s a well known on how they peddle their influence to friendlies. A vote for Jim Hood is a vote against the idiots in the legislature and the elites that gave us Cindy Hyde Smith. And no, I’m not a D.

Anonymous said...

Tate Reeves is a basically a breathing, waddling metaphor for Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

Tate is the Hillary Clinton of Mississippi. He feels entitled to a higher office but everybody hates behind the scenes. Wait and see.

Anonymous said...

“Our way of life....” He sounds more like Ross Barnett.


Anonymous said...

@4:28
Maybe not the end- but surely the beginning of the end.

Anonymous said...

Tater has a well oiled machine with all that special interest money. Hence all the strongly worded pro-Tate posts that appear so quickly. They look nicely pre-planned with conservative buzz words. Seriously, I run in the top R circles and all I hear is how much people don’t like Tot a bit but wont say anything till the voting curtain closes.

Anonymous said...

Believe me or not - I have never voted for a Democrat, but unless Bill Waller runs, this election will be a first for me. I will NEVER vote for Tate Reeves. He is completely out of touch, an absolute idiot that can only parrot what he hears in conservative talk. He does not at all understand the huge drain of educated people that are running out of this state, the embarrassment the state flag is, and what he has done to demolish education. Jim Hood may be crooked and he many be crazy - but at least it will be a different kind of crooked and crazy.

Anonymous said...

6:30 nailed it!

So I guess Tater likes the Mississippi way of life... 50th in everything!

Anonymous said...

Just saw Reeves on television. Didn't take him long to start with the Fire Pelosi nonsense and the Evil Schummer schtik they used for Palazzo.

Good grief.

Anonymous said...

Every Republican candidate claims, or has claimed, they will bring good paying jobs and great education to the state of MS.

Question- Are they lying or are they just really bad at the job description they stated?

Anonymous said...

Don't know the name of the representative/farmer who is running against Tate but he said he was told to "wait his turn". Funny how the "anti entitlement" crowd sure feels entitled to their turn at public office.

Anonymous said...

I hope Waller is reading this... please give us someone to vote for that’s not Tate, otherwise We’re gonna have to vote for Hood...a democrat

Anonymous said...

"The top R circles". Seriously? Do you believe all the negative Tate posts are not pre-planned? Maybe they came from the "top D Circles", LOL.

Anonymous said...

I have always voted Republican, but cannot vote for Tater. We need a gas tax and Bill Waller.

Anonymous said...

Another black eye for Mississippi. Tater as governor? Poster boy for every stereotype imaginable.

Voting for Hood. The rebublicans are outta control in this state. Time to remind them that the voters are actually in charge. Even if it means a democrat sits in the governor's chair. Not sucking too badly for our neighbor, Louisiana. Time to mix things up.

Anonymous said...

I am a conservative, although I am a registered Republican. Can't we (the voters of Mississippi) do any better than Reeves and Hood? Chief Justice Waller would be my first choice by far, but if Mike Espy would get into the race for governor, it would be a no-brainer vote for Espy (assuming Justice Waller sits this one out).

Anonymous said...

No matter how hard he tries and how hard I try, I DONT LIKE HIM. He’s an entitled, arrogant, power hungry, boss hog protoge. I will never vote for that man. Hillary could move here and run against him and I wouldn’t vote for him. He’s what’s wrong with our nation, our state, and the Republican Party.

Anonymous said...

Waller! PLEASE!!!

Anonymous said...

There have been 38 posts so far regarding Reeves announcement and 33 have been negative against him. Yet 6:52 complains about Reeves' "well oiled machine" and "all the strongly worded pro-Tate posts that appear so quickly."

6:52 fits well into today's Democratic discourse where no dissent is tolerated.
























Anonymous said...

Tate will win and it won’t be close.

Anonymous said...

Tate says we’re thriving. I looked it up: double-wide w flowers out front. Go Tate, we can’t wait, we need a tater to lead our state.

Anonymous said...

@8:17 I agree that Tate has the highest probability of winning. But I’m afraid it’s going to be very close. Tate has my vote albeit I will have to hold my nose to vote for the arrogant SOB. And I’m damn sure not fooling myself into thinking Tate will win with a significant margin. It’s gonna be a heavyweight fight but at the end Tate should pull it off but by a split decision.

Anonymous said...

I guess by mentioning President Trump’s name it suppose to make things right when in reality Mississippi need someone who can stand on their own two feet. Mississippi need someone who is for Mississippi and not just someone who jumps on the wagon with others just because it’s trending.

Anonymous said...

Thanks to the trolls for your help in paying KF's electricity bill.

Cousin Eddie said...

Bill Waller Jr. please throw your hat into the ring. PLEASE
We need someone blacks & whites can vote for.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad Feel Bryant and Feel Gunn took time out today to stand with Tater.

What's that, you say?

Anonymous said...

8:17pm Unless Waller gets in.

Trump Supporter said...

Tate never endorsed Trump and didn’t like Trump until he won and because he is so popular in Mississippi. Tate is a career politician—not what we need.

Anonymous said...

Keep in mind candidates have to win a majority of state house district AND the popular vote. If not, it goes to the house. This favors Republicans. Insurance for Tater if he doesn't win the majority of votes.

Anonymous said...

“He is an honest, God-fearing, family man who is trying to bring our State into this century. ”

By, for instance, slagging on the TV/movie industry that MS has been trying to attract?

He’s an ignorant panderer who will scare off outside investment and make our schools worse, not better.

Anonymous said...

11:01, neither did Phil......

10:48, not sure what you are implying, but Phil Bryant was there and is supporting Tate.

Anonymous said...

Ain't voting for a Democrat under any circumstances....period.

Anonymous said...

Tate hates Trump! Never Tate!

Anonymous said...

Bill, it's time to hit the road again, just like in your dad's campaign. We're never too old to do what's right for the state we love.
J C

Anonymous said...

Clayton Townley speech right out of Mississippi Burning.....someone ought to do a side by side comparison

Anonymous said...

The Little Emperor.

Anonymous said...

If Tater gets elected, I sure Mississippi will Shut Down.

Anonymous said...

When will we start to seriously address the real problem we are now having in almost every national/statewide election: YOU MUST HOLD YOUR NOSE WHEN YOU VOTE.

It's starting to become routine and it's ridiculous. The parties have become counter-productive. Time to make real change. (I don't mean electing a jackass like the president)

Anonymous said...

There are far too many "our way of life"ers in Mississippi who believe in just what that is.....those OLD Mississippi values. Tate's just using code to put those millions at ease. And yes, Mississippi will remain at the bottom because of the cotton snobs of old maintaining the power structure that drives white supremacy throughout the halls of power in the magnolia state. Tate will win for the same reason Cindy Lou Who did.....the silent (albeit racist) majority will enure it.

Anonymous said...

My ballot will join many in the "undervote" category associated with the Governor race. Skipping those two $h!++y selections.

Cynical Sam said...

"Time to make real change." Yep, never heard that one before.

Will his platform include "A tater tot in every pot?"

Anonymous said...

Time to make real change.

What do you suggest? Give us your Top 5 changes. Be specific.

Anonymous said...

The Hillary Clinton analogy is the best I have heard. Potato's entire justification for the office is that he's next in line. That is the crappiest reason in the world to elect someone, IMO.

Of course, he's ridden that, "I'm a Republican, vote for me!" strategy successfully for 16 years, so why the hell should he do things like present plans and options and tell everyone exactly how he will endeavor to make the state a better place.

If there's an emptier (ill-fitting) suit in the state of Mississippi, I'm not aware of it.

Anonymous said...

Who is taking bets on the first day we will see THE commercial? You know - the one with a slow drive into and through Tate's gated high-dollar neighborhood, maybe even a stop at his house - while the voice over tells of the $200,000 driveway to the stop light and shopping center. All while rural drivers are detoured around closed bridges and all drivers are avoiding huge potholes on old, patched roads.

Anonymous said...

defend MS from hollywood and liberals. that’s really laughable

Anonymous said...

I remember way back when rosy cheeked Tate was a teller at our local bank in Florence. He was such a nice young man and he always gave my grand children candy when I would make a deposit. He was a good boy then and he is a great man now. he has come a long way from those days.We miss him in Florence,

Tate. You have the poultry farmer's vote. We know you will look out for our interests.

Anonymous said...

The “hold my nose and vote for…” types are the reason this state has such pathetic, regressive leadership and remains stuck at the bottom in nearly all categories.

Anonymous said...

Well, the Democrats and the lobbyist crowd are out in force on this post. You're not fooling anybody with your "lifelong republican supporting jim hood" anonymous comments. Republicans support Tate and have time and time again. He will easily beat Hood because he's the better candidate for Mississippi.

bill said...

Nobody wants to look at what he's done - lower taxes, smaller government, he even killed the bond bill one year to reduce spending. They only want to look at the iron fisted approach he's taken to getting his agenda through the Senate and that nonsensical road to his subdivision. You can't argue with his results, so I'll be supporting Tate for Governor.

Anonymous said...

The results? Poor schools, not a single Fortune 1000 HQ, horrible roads and a brain drain. Yeah, let's look at what he's not done. In his zeal to placate the conservatives he's left this state in even worse shape. Roads are a legitimate function of government and Tate doesn't even have the balls to raise the gas tax a few cents per gallon. I have had visitors, and you're lying if you say you haven't also, been in utter shock at the condition of our roads in this state. What do you think a decision maker from a company thinking of relocating thinks? You wonder why our children leave the state? Take a look in the mirror. I will be very surprised, and happy, if my children return to MS after college. I'm not holding my breath though. No way I'm voting for Tate.

Anonymous said...

"A Tater Tot in Every Pot" That was funny. I laughed.

Anonymous said...

Hi "bill" or should I say "tater". The public liberry compooters are for actual patrons, not "nonsensical" pranxterz.

Anonymous said...

"Come on people, it's his turn."

My name is Hillary Clinton, and I approved this message.

Anonymous said...

Good GOD that was unwatchable.

Y'all will elect him, don't worry.

And the rest of the nation will keep laughing at you!

Anonymous said...

Mississippian's voted for a guy who has no Values at all two years ago. Despite many of it's citzens feeling the pain of his trade wars and tariffs they still support him.
The case is the same with Tater, his private drive is proof of his self dealing and lack of concern for the common man in Mississippi. He will get elected because we always vote against on own interests in Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

For January 3 @ 3:33 pm - Please list any 'capital investor who has been offended by the state flag'. You can't do it. We've heard you people throw that straw-monkey in the ring for fifteen years.

Next - Please know that our governor is not empowered to address a 'crumbling of the state’s only true urban core and capital city'. You will also be displeased to learn our governor can't declare this to be a sanctuary state for illegals.

Next - If you're looking for 'transformative leaders' you might want to move to Connecticut, Maine, Oregon or Vermont where the primary concern is requiring that donut shops bake wedding cakes for rainbow weddings. Or were you thinking of Jerry Brown when you mentioned 'transformative leaders'?

There's time to throw your hat in the ring. We'll stay away in droves when you make your announcement from an umbrella table in The Fondren.

Anonymous said...

Past is prologue, right? Tate has been in there for eight years (not
counting however long he was treasurer). Does anyone believe that Tate has any plan that is going to slow the brain-drain emigration from Ms? The state’s population has been in decline, the population decline of educated young people is steep, not unlike the last aboard the helicopters out of Saigon. I guess if you don’t mind flying to New York or Seattle to see your grandchildren twice a year you’re cool w Tate. That changing planes is a bitch though.

Anonymous said...

Hey 4:10 from the BP settlement their is an 800 billion Gulf Research Center in the works. The flag is only one of the reasons Mississippi need not apply.

Anonymous said...

Kim Jong-Tater...the “wanna be” supreme leader of backwoods Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

Mississippi voters will continue to watch their educated sons and daughters rush across the state line within weeks of graduation to join all those Demoncrats in Atlanta, Austin, Dallas, etc. and congratulate themselves for upholding the great traditions of the state when they visit their grand children. The traditions of Vardaman, Bilbo, Barnett, et al, seem far more important to Mississippi's Konservative Kristian Klan than offering their children opportunities in this state unless they can make those opportunities exclusive to the Right people. Tater's people are all about "Separate but Equal" laws...... Wink-Nod. And of course those people currently have the White House on their side.

Anonymous said...

@12:54

If my kids were dumb enough to move to New York or Seattle then there wasn't much I could do for them here or anywhere else. Why don't you google brain drain and bring us some facts instead of bullshit.

Anonymous said...

... the population decline of educated young people is steep ...

Provide a link and prove that the decline is "steep".

Anonymous said...

Waller please run!!!

Anonymous said...

Ya know I wasn't excited about voting for Tate til I read the liberal, snowflake BS on here. Thanks to you whack jobs I have my bearings back. Now I can't wait to get to the polls to vote against yall !

Anonymous said...

7:27 - That's bullshit. Besides, where in Mississippi would a so-called 'Gulf Research Center' be located. The entire coastline is taken up with casinos that shit up the place and suck money out of this state.

An 800 Billion Dollar research center? Do you even understand that's almost a trillion dollars? Link please? And lay down the crack pipe.

Anonymous said...

Can Waller be Governor and draw his state retirement?

I'm asking for Bill.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the many posts urging Chief Justice Waller to run. I went to law school with him and am familiar with his stellar career in the Mississippi Supreme Court. I am also aware of AG Hood's buddy system with MS plaintiff's lawyers. I would urge anyone thinking of voting for Hood to look at the case of State Farm v. Hood in the Federal District Court of MS, Southern District, wherein he was asked about his meeting with Dickie Scruggs' co-conspirators Steve Patterson and Timothy Balducci. Chief Justice Waller would be a breath of fresh air compared to either Reevs or Hood.

Anonymous said...

4:01 - NO.

Anonymous said...

Representing "The Real MSGOP" for the Never Tater Campaign

Anonymous said...

Run of the mill Political leaders can't make Mississippi a more attractive state for investment nor can they transform the culture. If you've spent any time in 3rd world countries you will notice marked similarities; systemic corruption, rampant cronyism, a poorly informed populace, black market economies, and the obvious disparities in public services from region to region. Our infrastructure and roadway scheme, coupled with largely incompetent leadership make Mississippi the last logical choice to invest. Waller would be a good choice as would General Augustus Collins. Still waiting for a centrist that doesn't appeal to all the Kool-Aid drinkers in both parties. I think most Mississippians are sick of this partisan BS.

Anonymous said...

January 5 at 5:55PM wrote, "...would be a breath of fresh air compared to either Reevs or Hood."

Yeah, well, the shithouse at a all-you-can-eat truckstop buffet serving nothing but boiled eggs, cabbage and beans would be a breath of fresh air compared to either Reeves or Hood.

Which is not to say that either one is "evil" or anything like that, just that neither are truly good candidates for the majority of the average Mississippians, regardless of color, stance on the state flag, feelings about alcohol or pot, sexual orientation or any other distinguishing individual characteristic(s). Look no further than the Hyde-Smith/Espy/McDaniel race for yet another example of such an election. The real problem is that those who would be at least decent officials have no interest in running and wouldn't be elected even if they were interested.

Unknown said...

Robert Foster for Governor! Even if it hurts your "middle of the state" hearts...

Anonymous said...

It speaks volumes that Tate Reeves is even in a position to be Governor. We can do so much better.

Anonymous said...

re: 1.25 PM and request to prove the Brain Drain in Mississippi.

Recall that Feel Bryant fired the head of IHL (Boyce) after he was quoted in multiple platforms that 2 of his 3 children had to leave Mississippi to find jobs.

Also, use your google finger to look up "Brain Drain in Mississippi." About 1.8 million citations, including quote by Roger Wicker.

Anonymous said...

Re brain drain issue: see 2016 IHL report: five years after graduation from Ms’s four-year colleges almost half of grads have left state. The highest % departures are from engineering, math and physical science grads, who earn the highest bucks. Is there really any debate about this? You may not like New York or Seattle, but how about Charlotte, Atlanta, Nashville, Asheville, Orlando, Austin, etc.? Ignore at your - our - peril.

Anonymous said...

Waller please..

Looking Back At Leon said...

Did someone actually mention 'General Augustus Collins' being a good gubernatorial candidate? That's impossible to imagine. I knew him thirty years ago when he was a technician in the Unemployment Insurance Division of MESC. Of course then he was Leon Collins. No background in anything real-world, then or now. Basically what he did for those ten years or more was show up at an office with a group of bureaucrats from Jackson and count claims-filed and tally how many forms were filled out incorrectly.

Other than this spell as appointed adjutant he's got zero management experience and zero private sector experience. He's never supervised employees, never met a payroll, never drawn up a budget, never hired employees, never sat down and looked at a profit-loss statement of any sort. But he is exactly the type fellow a governor might appoint to a board or some other meaningless position.

Anonymous said...

General Collins still is Leon, and he is CEO of MINACT, Inc. But since he is black, @7:22 felt compelled to trash him. Typical.

Anonymous said...

I am ordering my “No Tater Tot For Me “ bumper stickers today. Mississippi has to move forward.

Anonymous said...

Question for all those pushing for Waller to run?

There's no assurance he will run as a Republican. Would you still vote for him if he ran against Hood in the primary to win the Democrat ticket, to run against Tater Thot?

We know many of you are programmed to only vote for certain kinds of Republicans - would you actually vote for a good candidate regardless of party affiliation?

Anonymous said...

To 1/4 at 4:10 - “name one capital investor who has not invested in MS because of the flag” - you CAN’T name them - we will never know what opportunities we missed because of that flag that is our brand. And you will notice that the Nissan plant in Canton refuses to fly it. Like it or not, the Confederate flag has been hijacked by hate groups and it is not the brand for The Hospitality State. I speak as one whose relatives fought on the side of The Confederacy so I get your argument. And yes, Tater’s point about “our way of life” is a nod to those who support the flag and old times. We’ve been 50th long enough. Tater is not the answer. Our state deserves better.

Anonymous said...

@ 6:42pm

Good points

But in regards to capital investors, you are not going to find an actual list. But you can pinpoint the companies that avoid opening shop here, compared to being located in the contiguous neighboring states.

I can think of two major organizations that would contribute to our local economy in the metro area if we were to change the flag, that's the NCAA and NASCAR.

They have been building hotels and updating motels around the metro for a good minute. We can host regional and super-regional tournaments for the southeastern region in college sports. We can host a bowl game. Hell, look at our weather today - a high of 70 in January. We should be capitalizing on our location - in regards to logistics and our weather. Tourism is not Mississippi's strong suit.

Being 50th in everything gives this state a terrible reputation, that's bad for tourism. Changing the flag is an opportunity at rebranding this state. Its practically doing plastic surgery for a cheap price.

We're not losing anything by changing the damn state flag, because we are already at rock bottom!?

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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