The College Humor guys and gals got it right yet again. Enjoy.
Thursday, October 25, 2018
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2018
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October
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- The Great Pumpkin is Coming!
- Ten Years for Ripping Off Mom
- Back From the Dead!!!
- State Auditor Arrests Jones County Supe
- Lots of ways to support the Jackson Zoo!
- Sid Salter: Runoff Certain for Senate Race
- Lamar Adams Swindled Over $164 Million from Victim...
- Idiot of the Day (Simpson County Edition)
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- Jackson Repays Zoo Bond Funds
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- Two Hospitals Drop Medicare Advantage
- Birmingham or Bust!
- Continued
- Judge Orders Reddix to Pay Over $1 million
- Threaten to Blow Up VA? Do Not Pass Go
- SUNK!
- Trunk or Treat Moved to Tuesday Night
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- Shooting at Lake Hico
- Sunday Morning Sermon
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- Trick or Treat!
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- All Too True
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- Idiot of the Day in Gluckstadt
- The Latest Crime Stats
- Feds: Bribery in Jackson City Hall
- Sanders Speaks!!!
- A Hero Enters Valhalla
- Book Review: The Great Revolt
- Sid Salter: Stretch Runs in Senate Races Winding D...
- Need Help? Call St. Nick.
- Capitol Trio Protests Forest Hill Penalties
- No Comment: Debate Edition
- Save Us from the Bureaucrats
- Mother & Daugher Arrested in Murder for Hire
- "You Can't Guard Me!"
- Grayson Gone
- Out With Rainbow, In w/ Fondren Fitness
- Espy to CHS: Voters Can Think For Themselves
- It's Just a Name
- Trick or Treating in Jackson Will Actually Be on.....
- Find These Bikes
- Woman Killed in Domestic Violence Incident
- James Patterson, R.I.P.
- "How Rich Do You Want to Be?"
- Bill Crawford: Unseemly Politics Belies Christian ...
- Lamar Adams Gave Over $400,000 to Ole Miss, Recrui...
- Rangers Rock!
- Kenny Wayne Stands Up & Fights
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- We Got Us a Tough Guy
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- MBI to Jackson: See Ya
- Pedestrian Killed Near Fortification Street.
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
- Presenting the Mississippi State Capitol (Video)
- Editorial: The airport belongs to Jackson. Period.
- Kelly arrested for taking pics of Rose Cochran
- The Real Face of Mississippi Government
- PERS gets mo' money but funding level falls
- Majority black public school districts spend more, waste more, fail more
- Jackson's water bond failure: The REST of the story.
- Time to return fire on Banks
- Supervisor votes on projects next to land he owns
- Throwdown at the Levee Board
- Door shuts on another life
- Truth begins to come out in Irby case
- Judge orders interview of Irby
- Steadivest: Snakes or snake-bitten?
- Post-election thoughts
- Rest of the story about Crisler's shooting
- Jackson paying $4 million in fees
- Will Jackson end up like Birmingham
- Record-breaking fraud?
- FBI contacted MVT about Evans
- Heather Spencer police reports
- An open letter to John McCain
- Are your 401k's safe from Democrats?
- Democrats' Plans for Controlling the Media
- Who is Teresa Ghilarducci?
- Kingfish wins at Ethics Commission
- Tribe of Obama
- Berry V. Aetna (rankin County Cesspool)
- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
- Jim Hood: Liar
- JFP Tax Problems? (See comments)
- The SafeCity Bill
- Isn't this called secession?
- A Black Governor in Mississippi?
- Time to grade Miles' exam
- Domestic Violence & Divorce in Mississippi
- Truthwatch, eh?
- What is Jackson Jambalaya?
- Election Night Thoughts
- Counter-Insurgency for Beginners
- Jazz for Beginngers
- Mayor Melton's Soljah
- A Leopard Can't Change His Spots, Can Jere Nash?
- Harborwalk Hoax?
- A Pox on All Your Houses
Local Media
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- West Jackson Facebook page
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- Jackson Free Press (Jackson, MS Alternative Weekly)
- Harborwalk Thread (Jackson's Latest Boondoggle)
- Darkhorse Press
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- Clay Edwards Show
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
36 comments:
I remember when we didn’t have any form of social media. We drank from a water hose, mom put salt pork in our peas, we stood up on the front seat, swam in ponds and creeks, shot BB guns, we turned a crank to make ice cream, watched 3 channels on tv, some of us rode our bikes on gravel roads, OBEYED law enforcement and actually had fear of doing something wrong. And here is the best thing. We NEVER had to count how many attorneys had ads on bill boards. Social media and life in general has changed. I don’t do any type of social media. I guess I’m unsociable.
5:35, you and I are in the same generation. What you posted is US. You and I can be unsociable together! I can add a few other danger tricks we all did but I'll refrain for now.
Thanks for posting, Brother...
I remember my youth, too, 5:35 AM. Waking up when it hurt to sleep any more, tuning into channel 3 and turning on my Nintendo over a bowl of Count Chocula, then washing it all down with an abundant supply of Sprite. Then when I got bored, I would waddle over to my Windows 98-run Dell and log into AOL to talk to my 3rd grade girlfriend. I was in the 3rd grade, too, so it was all legal.
AMEN @5:35!! I'm right there with you. I'm middle-aged now, and I actually wish that I was in my twilight years. This 'modern' world does NOT impress me at all. Our quality of life now is no where near what it was 30-40 years ago, and in the name of progress, we have done it to ourselves. Technology is going to be the death of us all.
5:35 AM, that existed long before your time but your generation destroyed all sense of normalcy by marketing electronic junk to kids and constantly turning the crank of "progress".
@5:35 we also rode 3 wheelers with no helmets and tossed bottle rockets at our friends and lived to tell about it. grew up in south jackson and it was awesome, such a different place now :(
5:35 Luxury!!!! When I was a kid our dad would wake us up a half hour before we went to bed, make us lick the road clean, give us a cup of rat poison for breakfast, then thrash us before stabbing us with a bread knife.
And you know what - if you tell that to young people today, they won't believe you!!!
I remember when we didn't have electricity. Or fire. We drank from the primordial ooze, Mom put salted brontosaurus in our kelp, we told Professor Og that the wheel would never work, swam in ponds and Krag wound up in a deinosuch, we used thagomizer to make tender steak, watched 3 cave walls for entertainment, obeyed gods of Oooga Booga, and actually had fear of being eaten by T Rex. We had only one attorney, Richard Schwanz, and he was just as big a jerk as the ambulance chasers today. I'm still not very sociable, too. Get off my lawn.
I'm reminded of the boob here a few days ago chortling about how he called out somebody at WLBT on Twitter. As if doing so means jack squat.
"...I don’t do any type of social media."
Not so... JJ is your outlet.
People have always longed for "the good ole days".
Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions.
Ecclesiastes 7:10
I'm of that older generation, too. We rode in the back of pickup trucks, 14 year old boys bush hogged pastures, girls had to wear dresses to school regardless of the weather, air conditioning was rare, and we put peanuts in our Pepsi Colas during recess. OMG, how did we survive?!
dirt clod wars and chasing the mosquito truck on your bicycle AND WE LIKED IT ..cough cough
Anybody else remember playing mumblety-peg?
The phone was attached to the wall and had a dial and a dial tone and an operator. Some were party lines. Kids didn't have phones and were rarely allowed to use the house phone, and then for only a few minutes. You did your homework with the encyclopedia and a pencil. There were no computers or video games. You could play pinball down at the bowling alley. The one TV in the house had 3 channels, all of which went off the air at midnight, and you changed them by turning the knob on the set and sometimes adjusting the rabbit ears. You might have to wait for the tubes to warm up before the TV came on. Cartoons were on for half a day on Saturday, and that was it. There were no VCRs. Music came cut into grooves on round vinyl disks called records, which were played on a turntable machine by use of a needle. Later you could get it on 8-track tapes. Cars and trucks had clutches, bias ply tires, drum brakes, steel dashboards and bumpers and no seat belts. Vent windows in cars were a thing, as were attic fans in houses. CB radios had 23 channels and required an FCC license available through snail mail. Stamps were a dime or less. There was no other kind of mail, but you could send a telegram. Kids got to make beds, clean rooms, do yard work and put up the dishes and behave properly for their allowance of 50 cents a week. Cokes came in glass bottles for a dime and you got a penny or two back for the empty bottle. The bottle tops had cork gaskets. We wore Buster Brown shoes.
The media told you what the news was, but not what to think about it.
People whose politics with which you disagreed were your friends and neighbors, not your enemies.
Be Bop Record shop and Corduroys
Is the entire/majority of this community of commenters on this site/blog beyond age 60?? If so, what a bunch of old geezers/farts/senior citizens!
I can’t help but laugh at this thread. You 50-70 years olds are a worthless generation. It’s you idiots that have ruined this country. Don’t preach to us about how good you had it. We will be paying for you dumbasses for years to come.
12:53 Thanking you in advance.
Seeing how old all the commenters here are gives me hope for the future. A large part of our population just got left behind and has no chance to adapt to the times.
Remember riding Go-Carts without a helmet and going as fast as they would go? Remember collecting soda bottles to turn them in for the deposit?
Remember taking a shotgun to school for "show and tell?"
I also clearly remember coaxing @12:53 PM's mom into our hay loft and getting some stink finger.
My favorite was all the kids in the neighborhood jumping on their bikes in the dark (no reflective anything) when we heard the "mosquito truck". Would follow blindly behind the sprayer enjoying the DDT spray. Not one two headed kid around.Millions of children in Africa died from malaria when DDT was banned. Thanks Rachel Carson.
Clay tablets and styluses. Going over to Og's cave to shoot the ox. The discovery of the Thagomizer (may Thag rest in pieces). Opening packages on Christmas Day. Rocks, sticks, and dirt, again. That first sunrise. Memories....
Now, 12:53's Mama. Yep. She was the original Big Bang.
@1:41 PM, indeed, 12:53's mom was a real punch-board, with round heels, knee pads, and she sure knew how to pull the train. Choo choo. Good times.
LONG LIVE READY KILOWATT, SEAL LILY ICE CREAM AND BOB NEBLET ! ! ! !
Who here remembers them?
This would be funny if it wasn't true. What a joke this presidency is and not in a funny way.
1:31, how many of you idiots prancing around in ddt got cancer? The whole nation is paying for your dumbass. Unfortunately all that money can’t fix stupid.
After all the many decades of use, there is no conclusive evidence that DDT causes cancer. NONE! It is suspected, but that's it.
Is it toxic? Yes, but not proven to be a carcinogen.
12:53 and 1:01, I’m the 5:35 commenter. I’m 53, have an excellent work ethic and can outwork anyone younger than me. Not all of us ruined your so called life. We had fun in our youth and there is not a damn thing wrong for appreciating it. Any and ALL generations can say that the previous ruined it for them which is not so. Appreciation of how you were reared is something you value as you get older. A man who does not share or pass on his knowledge of his trade, skill or profession, or his experience is no good to himself or others in his field. Many things in your youth shape you and it’s either going to be in a good way or a bad way. So when you get of age that you see younger generations really screwing up you want to at least give them some guidance...because we came from a generation that believed in a two parent family that believed in discipline. And put to it quite frankly, these kids today wouldn’t have made it 30 years ago in my trade. Your generation is too soft.
6:37, You poor snowflake. Did they hurt your feelings? The younger generations just see you screw up so bad they are trying to get you to change your destructive ways. You see, we care about you and when you screw up, we want you to do better. After all, we have to live here long after you are gone and forgotten. We want their to be natural resources left. Keep blaming the millennials for everything you screwed up. Won't be the last time your generation fails to own up to your shortcomings.
12:53, it looks like I actually worked longer than you've been alive, and that was after I learned English, a skill you should acquire. We built everything you have or will have.
7:38, what makes you think we will let you live that long? Ditto on the English for you.
Smart millennial 7:38? "...their to be natural resources..."
The point we are trying to make is that we can survive without Twitter, Facebook and all that other shit. But, can you? What makes you think you will outlive us? Really?
The telephone was attached to the wall? is that where the phrase, "I'll hang up" comes from?
I would like all of the negative commenters to list exactly what we “screwed up”. Negative as in millennial. Did we make it that horrible for you? Did you ever think that some of us struggle to keep an even keel when our federal government workers are more corrupt than anyone can ever remember? Let’s sit back and think on that a while.
Now, for those of us who appreciate the days gone by because they were dear to our memories, let’s just pay no attention to the negativity. and yes...Jackson used to be a great place and some of the best people I ever had the pleasure to know came from here and most were just down to earth people from South Jackson. Remember McDowell Road!!! I just wish our children had the opportunity to have a place like that to socialize, or what we refer today as social networking. I met my wife there 32 years ago and we are still married! So, for the naysayers who feel as though we are at fault for their misery....do what we did. Get up, put your work boots on, tighten up your laces, and get ready for a hard day of work, come home and enjoy your family as you sit down to supper together and Love one another and pass it it down!
Sincerely,
5:35
A good 15-minutes of enlightenment:
"This is Why You Don't Succeed" (Simon Sinek on "The Millennial Generation")
https://www.facebook.com/fearlessmotivationofficial/videos/732114443801770/
@10:12: “confefe”
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