Friday, July 29, 2016

Tate addresses Neshoba County Fair

Lieutenant Governor Tate Reeves issued the following press release and transcript of his address at the Neshoba County Fair.


Lieutenant Governor touts record protecting Mississippi values, boosting education at Neshoba County Fair

NESHOBA COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS – Lt. Gov. Tate Reeves today recapped a successful legislative session that included the largest tax cut in Mississippi history and an effort to rein in wasteful spending by state agencies.

In his 14th speech under the pavilion, Lt. Gov. Reeves said the state is moving toward greater efficiencies in operations and economic growth with the help of Gov. Phil Bryant and Speaker Philip Gunn.

“Long-term economic growth requires a tax code that is fair. One that is flat. One that encourages economic development not discourages it,” Lt. Gov. Reeves said. “That is why Speaker Gunn, Governor Bryant and I joined together to phase out the state’s tax penalty on investments. That’s why we joined together to provide tax relief to self-employed Mississippians.

“And that’s why we have joined together to keep looking for ways to lower taxes - because we are focuses on growing the size of our economy, not on growing the size of our government!

Wearing a Flowood Police Department shirt, Lt. Gov. Reeves expressed his support for law enforcement across the state.

“The safety of all Mississippians is vitally important,” Lt. Gov. Reeves said. “I'm proud to be wearing this Flowood PD shirt today to show my support for law enforcement - whether they are from Baton Rouge or Biloxi.”

Remarks as prepared:

Thank you Neshoba County for the warm welcome!

This is my 14th year on this podium but, more importantly in this Presidential election year, this is my 2nd day in a row to be at the Fair. You see, yesterday, our previous speaker was in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania....While I was here in Philadelphia, Mississippi....he was working for Hillary Clinton...while I was here working against Hillary Clinton!

God has blessed me with four sweet, smart, beautiful women in my life – please welcome my wife Elee, and my daughters Tyler, Emma and Maddie.

I introduce them every year at the Fair just to make sure I get at least one applause line.

It’s been a positive year in your state Capitol. We have put our heads together and put our shoulder to the wheel –Together with Governor Bryant and Speaker Gunn, we are fighting for smaller government and making Mississippi an even better place to raise a family.

Now you may be surprised to hear this because if you read the headlines or listen to only Democrats – you may have seen the liberal media isn’t too pleased with our pro-family, pro-Mississippi agenda.

I recently read that the Democrats are trying to get organized here – Bless their bleeding hearts! They want to lead Mississippi – just like Obama is leading our nation – down the road of a bigger government, more government regulation, and more government spending of your hard-earned money!

They’ve even convinced the previous speaker to step away from his law books (and outside his constitutional authority) to try to rewrite the state budget!

He and other bureaucrats in Jackson are outraged they can’t double dip into side accounts anymore – hiding the true cost of government from taxpayers.

He’s even equated Mississippians with fools. And why does he think you are fools? For wanting us to protect your First Amendment Rights to practice your faith without being harassed by big government.

He sounds to me like he’s auditioning to be Hillary’s new Attorney General!

I guess we know with whom he stands…. I, on the other hand, stand with the 86 percent of Mississippians who believe marriage should be between one man and one woman.

And I ain't gonna change my mind.

After the US Supreme Court legalized marriage between same-sex couples, I heard from people all over Mississippi, many of them pastors, who were concerned at how far government could go to make them violate the tenants of their faith.

Your Legislature took action...Liberals hollered for boycotts because we gave those with deeply held religious beliefs a voice!

A leader on this issue was your own senator - Jenifer Branning! In one session, she has shown herself to be a sensible, sharp, and thoughtful member of the MS Senate.

Fellow first-year senators – and even her veteran colleagues – envy the opportunity she had to eloquently defend our First Amendment Rights when she handled this legislation.

Senator Branning took her oath and immediately took charge of one of the most pressing issues for Mississippi religious organizations and their leaders.

Unfortunately, just three weeks ago, Mr. Obama’s appointee to the bench in Jackson didn’t agree.

I’ll remind you this is the same judge that told Brandon High School their band couldn’t play “How Great Thou Art” at halftime. So I think you know where he stands on your right to express your religious beliefs!

If this opinion by the federal court denies even one Mississippian of their fundamental right to practice their religion, then all Mississippians are denied their First Amendment Rights!

I want to thank Governor Bryant for quickly appealing this decision when the Attorney General said he would not...

I wasn’t surprised by the AG's inaction, because I have seen it before.... Mr. Hood even told reporters just a few weeks ago the Legislature was “too focused” on social issues. What he doesn't understand is our conservative Legislature has this focus only because his liberal friends on the bench keep chipping away at our rights.

He thinks we are too focused on the Constitution. He thinks we are too focused on freedom. He thinks we are too focused on doing what is right and rejecting what is wrong.

Well, let me say and I may not be able to make Jim Hood defend our laws in court, but we can make him defend his liberal beliefs in the next election!!

I am not afraid to stand up to the judges because their decisions are changing the direction of this great nation!

Speaking of the courts, In June, the highest court in this land put women’s lives in danger by striking down our requirement to have abortion doctors obtain admitting privileges at a local hospital.

This is about the safety of women. This is about ensuring those undergoing a dangerous medical procedure are taken care of by quality physicians.

Why should we expect doctors to adhere to lower standards for abortion than appendicitis? Why should we tolerate inferior clinics just because their patients are only women?

We should not.

This decision was an unconscionable decision, but one I guess we should expect by now from the U.S. Supreme Court!

Your leaders in Jackson will not stop fighting for the rights of the unborn or the safety of these mothers. We did that this year by stopping a particularly gruesome method of abortion and prohibiting any of your tax dollars from going to Planned Parenthood.

I'm with Mississippians who believe life begins at conception and we will not rest until Mississippi is the safest place in America for an unborn child.

The safety of all Mississippians is vitally important. I'm proud to be wearing this Flowood PD shirt today to show my support for law enforcement - whether they are from Baton Rouge or Biloxi.

But we know law enforcement can't be in all places at all times. That's why, in the aftermath of the tragic shooting inside a church in South Carolina last year, the Legislature passed the Church Protection Act - putting very specific procedures in place to allow congregations to protect themselves – if they so choose.

When I travel Mississippi, the Number 1 issue I hear you talk about is job creation – bringing good-paying jobs to our state so our children and grandchildren will stay here and raise their families.

After college, Elee and I had the opportunity to move to a lot of different places. But we chose to stay Mississippians. We chose this place to have our children. And we are determined to help build an economy to allow us to grow old with our future grandchildren.

Now...I don't believe that government creates jobs. Government's role is to simply create the environment that encourages the private sector to invest capital and create jobs.

One way to create that environment is to lower the cost of doing business here - by reducing taxes for all Mississippi taxpayers.

States around this country that are economic powerhouses, that are creating the most jobs, like Texas and Florida – do NOT tax your income!

If you want more of something, you tax it less. That’s why we have taken steps to start eliminating the practice of taxing your income and small business's capital – because we want more and better jobs for our citizens.

Long-term economic growth requires a tax code that is fair. One that is flat. One that encourages economic development not discourages it. That is why Speaker Gunn, Governor Bryant and I joined together to phase out the state’s tax penalty on investments (the corporate franchise tax). That’s why we joined together to provide tax relief to self-employed Mississippians.

And that’s why we have joined together to keep looking for ways to lower taxes - because we are focused on growing the size of our economy, not on growing the size of our government!

Now, Democrats in Jackson are not happy with these lower taxes.

They believe the problem in Mississippi is that you are allowed to keep too much of your money.

They are wrong.

During the decades of Democratic control of state government, they built a maze of bureaucracy and back-door budgeting. They devised rat-holes and work around to hide how much of your money they were wasting.

Some call it the underground economy in Jackson. It let agencies build up their “off-budget” accounts and spend money on travel, furniture and who knows what else without accountability to you! “Off-budget” is not how Elee and I run our household, and it's not how Republicans should run our State Government.

The other issue we are focused on is how to raise the education attainment level of our citizens. We cannot grow our economy without it.

We must stop a system that pours money into the central administrative office of the school district not into the classroom.

Over the past five years, Mississippi is spending record amounts in education – including programs that work in the classroom!

Reading coaches to ensure those children know how to read when they leave the third grade!

Professional development for teachers who sharpen their skills for the classroom.

Appointing superintendents and consolidating school districts to move more tax dollars to the classroom – where it all starts!

Since these reforms have taken effect – our fourth graders are making gains with their peers in other states; more students are graduating from high school; and we are investing in reading skills and seeing results in the classroom.

I am the proud product of Rankin County public schools. I grew up in Florence where my teachers helped build a strong foundation for me – they’re part of the reason I am where I am today.

I was fortunate to live in a community that valued education and would welcome the investment we’ve made in all areas of education! Many of us here today are fortunate to live in communities that demand positive results for students.

Success in public schools means focusing on what’s best for the children — not the adults. I believe that every child in Mississippi deserves an opportunity for success. No matter their background, their family’s means or their zip code, they should be able to choose what's best for their kids to reach their dreams.

But Mississippi Democrats have convinced an out-of-state group to tell us that we should not provide all students with a quality education. They’re taking the state to court – costing you tax dollars – to tell us that not all students deserve that chance to succeed in the classroom!

I'll say this to that out of state group - If they are against school choice, then they are against giving families a chance to change the direction of their family tree!

And that is not only morally wrong, it is wrong for our economy in the long-term!

When you elected me as lieutenant governor, I promised to fight for lower taxes and smaller government. For a quality education for all children not the few. For promoting strong families and traditions.

I told you what I would fight for...and I am doing exactly what I told you I would do. Kind of refreshing concept from one of your elected leaders, huh?

Thank you and God Bless Mississippi!


Anonymous said...

Looks like nobody cares. He should be speaking at the Council of Coservative Rednecks. Much more in line with his small, predicatable, narrow world view life.

Anonymous said...

So much animosity for Tate. He's actually one of the few officials who has had a real job and who cares more about the state than playing games with the rest of the state-level politicos. And he can actually get something done in his chamber of the Legislature. All terrible, terrible things according to y'all.

Derrell Ray said...

Like i said before ever scence 1974 all thes guys talked about was lowering tax,,its 2016 now why are we still paying higher taxes??

Kingfish said...

Someone asked why Jim Hood's remarks are not published. There is a very simple explanation. Mr. Reeves's staff sent a press release and a transcript. Mr. Hood's staff did not do so. If they send one, it will get published.

Anonymous said...

I have never ever voted Democrat in a statewide election. If a credible Democrat, like Hood, runs for Governor against Mr Reeves, I will vote for him or her. I am 59. We need vision, not Bubba. #readhisspeech

Anonymous said...

I am 59.

BFD. So what.

I have never ever voted Democrat in a statewide election.

Sure, whatever you say.

Anonymous said...

Tate has been fortunate to be in the right place at the right time in his political career. It will come to an end in 2019 if he runs for Governor.

Anonymous said...

Tate had a real job? You mean one of those guys in a bank sitting in a glass cube/office? That's a real job of last resort.

Anonymous said...

Tate, Feel and Gunn embarrassed the hell out us all before the entire nation with HB 1523. They are the three stooges.

Anonymous said...

Tater's real job = Bank teller in Florence

Anonymous said...

Tate Reeves should have never been elected Treasurer in the first place. Gary Anderson had way more experience, he just wasn't the right color for many people. Like 'July 29, 2016 at 8:08 PM' said earlier, Tate Reeves has been fortunate to be at the right place at the right time.

The super tax cuts passed this year will lead Mississippi in the same direction as Louisiana and Kansas. The Mississippi Legislature is following the same exact fiscal model, cut taxes, give out corporate subsidies (welfare) to companies to allure them to come to Mississippi, borrow money for pork projects. Self inflicted austerity measures that are taking the state backwards, while all the other states are showing growth.

Tater is banking on the trailer trash to remain blissfully ignorant to how this machine (better known as Mississippi) works, by continuously pulling from the Dixiecrat playbook: "a resentment of African-American demands for social justice and the federal government's sanctioning the institutionalization of those rights (civil rights) resulting in a large number of whites becoming cynical, at times paranoid, about government and being alienated from it. Being resentful of this "big government" exercising too much control over their lives," Tater prefers "shrinking government" at the detriment of the state functioning and providing the necessary services to keep Mississippi running at a premium level.

Phil Bryant started the mess and Tate Reeves wants to carry on his Tea Party legacy. Borrowing to pay bills, to keep the lights on at higher interest rates, while not having the funds to pay for the essential services, cussing out the Federal government for being fiscally irresponsible, while taking money from the Feds at the same time. Mississippi will be upside down fiscally! And people actually voted for this mess and Tater is hoping on that trend to continues.

Anonymous said...

I aint necessarily a Tater fan, but Gary Anderson was a moron. He got where he was by being black.

Anonymous said...

@ 9:10am

So then you can say the same for Tater, getting where he was for being white.

That's a one-sided coin, either way you toss it.

Anonymous said...

Tater makes up for terrible oratory with outstanding budgeting skills.

Anonymous said...

Just so I argue Mississippi Republicans won't vote for Reeves for Gov because

1) he passed the largest tax cut is MS history
2) he has the largest balance in the Rainy Day Fund in MS history
3) he fights for the rights of unborn children
4) he is against Obamacare
5) he believes in the 1st Amendment and is against "big government" infringing on those rights
6) he is a strong advocate of the 2nd Amendment and our right to bear arms

do I have your theory correct??

Anonymous said...

Tate Reeves is lots of things, but a dumbass ain't one. I did think this speech was a bit overkill for him, but he torched Twitty Hood's ass after Twitty been running his mouth the last two months.

Anonymous said...

Yeah 2:20, Twitty may have been "running his mouth", but he ain't been embarrassing those in this state that don't circle the wagon of our state's lowest denominator. Striving to out redneck Feel. Where is Delbert when we need him?

Anonymous said...

Was Reeves talking this tough when that staff error lost $56 million? That error, if it was found, has not been added to the state's FY16 budget figures.

Anonymous said...

Twitty has every right to say what he wants and thinks, but he chickened out when he got on the biggest stage in MS Politics to double down. He got torched. Twitty is only embarrassing when it comes to failing to do his job bc "family" broke laws and placing that plum contract Ina donor's firm and living out of his campaign account. Yea, not embarrassing.

Anonymous said...


It won't be added to FY 16 budget figures. It's in FY 17. Maybe Mike Moore can sacrifice some of the earnings he got "negotiating" the BP settlement since It was over Jim's head to do.

Anonymous said...

@ July 30, 2016 at 11:18 AM

Two things:

1st - People WILL be dumb enough to VOTE FOR Tater as Governor after the snow job he and Feel pulled over on Mississippi - because they don't understand the repercussions of those two stooges actions on passing "conservative fiscal policy."

2nd - riddle us this - since Tater "passed the largest tax cut in Mississippi history" - how is he gonna replenish "the "largest" balance in the Rainy Day Fund in MS history?" That state is already short of revenues for the month of July @ $14 million - which means somebody is gonna have to make more cuts. As far as him being against Obamacare, he's hurting the the poor rednecks that support him, than the poor ghetto bastards that don't, by not expanding the damn program in Mississippi.

That som'itch thinks he's the sharpest tool in the shed, but don't have a clue on what to do with'em

Hairclubs of America, Inc... said...

Twitty Hood embarrasses this state every time he grins like a jackass and fluffs up that 1974 Boo-Font.

If you think this clown is supremely arrogant now, just picture him in the governor's office.

Anonymous said...

He couldn't embarrass the state any more than Feel has done this year with the legislative agenda. At least there would be a check in power to keep the legislature honest.

Anonymous said...

3:37 - Gary Anderson was much more qualified? Please, please tell us what qualifications he had. The only thing Anderson had as 'qualification' was that in every Democratic administration he had been appointed to some state position. He had no education background, or job experience, that qualified him for treasurer. Your reference to his color was the reason that he got appointments from the various democrat governors.

You might not like Tate and that is fine. But to say that he wasn't qualified and Anderson was is your colorblindness showing.

Second Interview said...

Current Secretary of The Navy appointed people who were born female due simply to their lifestyle choices. So, what's the big deal about color-appointments?

There's a theory in personnel work that, in the end, we all tend to choose people who 'look the most like us', either consciously or sub.

Anonymous said...

6:12 are you saying that Sec Navy Mabus looks like a female?

Or, are you saying that Sec Navy Mabus looks black (since he, just like all other Dem Governors appointed Anderson to a position where he could stay on the gubmint teat.)

Just wondering - since that's how the theory you pose would apply here.

Anonymous said...

@ July 31, 2016 at 4:45 PM

Thank you for calling me colorblind - that's actually a good thing.

How was Anderson more qualified? At the time of the election, he owned his own mortgage company, had a financial planning consulting firm, served as Vice President of Community Development for Union Planters/Deposit Guaranty Bank, and served as Deputy Director of MDA, and then went on to serve as Executive Director of the Department of Finance and Administration for the Great State of Mississippi. In other words, when Mississippi paid its bills - Gary Anderson's name was on front of the check. He had 20 years of administrative experience in the public sector.

As opposed to the Banana Republic Redneck who was 4 years removed from college serving as an investment banker with Trustmark and AmSouth (Regions Bank).

Anderson received his Bachelors and Masters in Public Policy from Ole Miss, while the snot nose kid had a degree in Economics. from Millsaps. Needless to say, both of them had education in regards to handling public policy.

Anderson had plenty of background in regards to handling the states money, his resume was clear and evident. He just wasn't the right color in many people's eyes. Tater was.

Its funny how people are saying the colored fella was receiving "welfare appointments" but he was receiving the same kind of work on his own in the private sector too.

The colored fella was more experienced than the snot nose kid from Jackson Prep, people in Mississippi just weren't ready for a colored fella to be in statewide office. Would have been really interesting if the colored fella ran as Republican against ol' Tater in the primary, what would have been the excuses then?

Kingfish said...

OK, I have an answer for you. Mr. Anderson is a very nice guy and definitely capable. However he is also a lazy campaigner. See his race against Mike Chaney. His two opponents out hustled him on the campaign trail. There are many capable people who are lousy at campaigning. See Dave Dennis.

Cabeza de Tomas said...

Would have been really interesting if the colored fella ran as Republican against ol' Tater in the primary, what would have been the excuses then?

Gee Sparky, what are Anderson's excuses for not doing so? Oh, that's right. He wanted the 90+% black Donkeycrat vote that he knew he would receive automatically because of his skin color and without regard to his merits.

Anonymous said...

As a Jackson Prep Alum, I am completely offended about the comments above. THE TATER IS NOT A PRODUCT OF JACKSON PREP. He is from the Rankin County School System.

Anonymous said...

@ August 1, 2016 at 7:25 AM

The momentum was strong for the Repubs at that time, so Anderson running as a Dem to obtain the black vote wasn't a smart move. Kingfish's assessment was logical and spot on. Agree on his campaign tactics at the time.

Anonymous said...

Funny you should mention that Insurance Commissioner race Kingfish. Many don't know this, but Jim Hood is buddy buddy with John Mosely, the class action lawsuit body shop man. If you think Jim Hood is a stand up guy you may want to research he and Mosely's strong arm attempts at the auto insurance business. If Hood surrounds himself with people like Mosely and his son, he will be no better then Tater Tot. Mosely thinks the hands that feed him should pay him some of the highest labor rates in the country because he is for the "consumers of MS".

Anonymous said...

@ 1:24pm

While I shutter at the thought of John Mosely being the Insurance Commissioner for the state of Mississippi, whether Dems or Repubs win the office, we are screwed as citizens when it comes to our rates.

Medical, property, or vehicles. If HRC wins the white house, you can forget repeal of the ACA, which means until Mississippi expands Medicaid, raises the threshold for the program and create a statewide exchange, medical insurance rates are gonna be high in Mississippi.

Until the roads and bridges in this state get updated, vehicle insurance we go up.

After Katrina, you just can't do much about the inclement weather either. But the other areas are easy fixes.

Anonymous said...

People should take a long hard look at any person who decides to become a politician. They are doing it for some reason and the good of the people is not part of their reason.

Anonymous said...

" you can forget repeal of the ACA, which means until Mississippi expands Medicaid, raises the threshold for the program and create a statewide exchange, medical insurance rates are gonna be high in Mississippi. "

Sorry Skippy - the rates are going up, and the state exchanges are closing, in states that did swallow the baited hook.

They are now trying to postpone the announcement of the 2017 rates from November 1 until after the election. Fortunately Trump has vowed to release them before the election if the Dems succeed in burying this news before the election. I'm sure Assange or Putin will have access to the numbers :-)

Anonymous said...

Sorry 6:50 am - I knew nothing about Tater or Anderson, so I read position or policy statements posted somewhere. NO PHOTOS, just text. I decided I liked Tater's plans better (don't ask me about being disappointed in his performance in office, this is BEFORE the election). I am also wary of Dems in general, although Shows was better than Pickering (or Harper) in representing our district.

After the election the whining immediately broke out about how Anderson was a victim of racism. That was the first I'd heard he was black, so stick your obsession with imaginary racism where the sun don't shine. Some people re so small-minded they cannot imagine any other reason for supporting a candidate then skin color. This degree of fanaticism tells us more about you than you realize.

Anonymous said...

Whatever your political philosophy, you have to admit this is a well thought out line in this speech:

"You and I may not be able to make Jim Hood defend our laws in court,
But we can make him defend his liberal beliefs in the next election."

That is the message we are going to hear from Reeves for next three years....
And it is likely to work in Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

7:04. please tell me that is a joke. I hope people in Ms. are not that damn dumb.

Anonymous said...

8:20 yes they are. James Eastland is running the state from the grave.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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