Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Highland Village manager says more changes are coming

Highland Village manager Masa Liles addressed the LeFleur East forum two weeks ago to discuss the changes taking place at Highland Village.  She said high-end retailers would be coming to the shopping center and that while "change is hard" but change can be good as well.  She said Highland Village is a "one of a kind" shopping center. 


She said the Fowler family sold it to WS Development in 2012.  WSD owns 88 shopping centers and is based in Massachusetts.  Ms. Liles asked the crowd to "be patient" and said there would be announcements in the spring.  She said it takes a year to move from discussing Highland Village with a prospect to actually executing the lease.  She said WSD is an "owner" and not just "an investor. 



72 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is good news. Highland Village looks better than it has in a long time.

Anonymous said...

Haters gonna hate, but Highland Village attracts a lot of economic activity, but its a shame that the surrounding area doesn't pull its weight with relation to security, upkeep, etc. And they have RESTRUMS!

Anonymous said...

Sorta like a diamond in a goat's ass? That's very unique!

Anonymous said...

Agreed. Fashioning something at the edge of the roof line to hide the HVAC units from view of I-55 motorist would do wonders for the already improved appearance. It's an understandable symptom of large, flat roof buildings, but there are ways to mask it.

Anonymous said...

Highland Village has gone from being a 6 to being a 9 under the new ownership. It's soon to be a 10. The paint job, new center court and new upscale tenants are an asset to Jackson. Any shops relocating outside Jackson should be ashamed.

Anonymous said...

Juniker Jewelry will regret their departure. Their northeast Jackson customers will not follow them up to North Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

10:10, the word "unique" needs no modifier such as "very". Something is either unique or not, period. Modifying unique is oxymoronic.

Anonymous said...

Juniker jeweler's owners are Jackson residents and they strongly support the city and are dedicated to Jackson.

Anonymous said...

11:17, you can write that all you want, but MOVING TO MADISON is not "supporting Jackson," no matter how you spin it.

Anonymous said...

Rumors were that Juniker "needed more room" but I find that hard to believe. At any rate, they will lose customers. If the family really supported Jackson they would have kept their sales tax revenue in Jackson.

Twist-O-Flex said...

11:28; Can you refer me to the page in the rule book that suggests a retailer owes support to a community? Juniker won't depend on NE Jackson gem buyers much longer. Besides, nice Timex watches with Twist-O-Flex bands, preferred by the aging population in that section of Jackson, are likely a thing of the past. There's plenty of traffic in Madison County and points east, north and west of Madison to keep their diamond cases hopping. Thinking, alert and vigilant people simply are uneasy about driving into Jackson to shop. Can't you people come to grips with that reality?

Anonymous said...

At any rate, they will lose customers.

Losing customers does not mean they will automatically realize a reduction in net revenue.

Anonymous said...

God. What pompous arses. No, very unique is not an oxy, moron. It's modifying an absolute adjective. Done by writers from Alcott to Bronte and on and on. Done all over this here "more perfect union." Good grief. Please attend your local MLK remembrance this January. I'm sure you can pop up, interrupt speakers, and correct their grammar, knowing MLK wrote: "I am in the rather unique position of being the son, the grandson, and the great grandson of preachers." They'll just love you as much as everybody else does here. Nope. Wasn't me, fwiw.

Anonymous said...

Should we wonder why Highland Village is now on it's third leasing agent in a year and a half? Sounds as if leasing this property isn't as easy as they thought it would be. Also it's my understanding that Juniker wanted to expand at Highland Village but were told there wasn't space for them This has been the case with several of the local tenants that have left or are currently looking to leave. After a year of trying to get a meeting to talk about her lease, the owner of The Early Settler was told that in addition to her lease going from $2100 a month, to $8000 a month, that she would only be given a 2 year lease, but if a national tenant wanted her space, she would be given 60 days to move...and now that space along with several others sit empty.

Let Them Pee! said...

Thanks 12:05!

Anonymous said...

Besides, nice Timex watches with Twist-O-Flex bands, preferred by the aging population in that section of Jackson, are likely a thing of the past.

Us old geezers dumped the Timex. We use our Iphones..........

Anonymous said...

as for me, I wish all people from Massachusetts would keep their money and their assets out of Mississippi and take the Plantation Masa with them.

Anonymous said...

Thanks 10:35! Now if we can get advertisers to stop offering something "for free" I can stop changing the channel.
12:05, just because the rich and famous do it doesn't make it correct.

Anonymous said...

Junikers cant compete with Brian Beckham! Beckham Jewelry rocks!

Anonymous said...

As for Highland Village looking better...take a closer look....the work done, especially in the courtyard is shoddy...and the finishes are cheap.

Ankle Bracelet said...

I've never heard of Beckham Jewelry although I'm sure it's a fine store. Thanks for posting, Brian. If you could compete, your store name would be well known, like Juniker. But, it ain't.

Anonymous said...

Old Navy and Babies r Us coming soon! HV will be nothing but Jeff's place and national chain box retailers before long.

Avery Wiseman said...

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say Juniker's insurance costs dropped dramatically. What? I didn't say it was a long limb. Or a very unique one....

Anonymous said...

Early Settler closed, Inside Out and Olde Tyme Commissary made the trek to Renaissance, Juniker to Highland Colony Pkwy, Albriton's building their own space. Jackson fan here, but I'm not liking the change that Whole Foods brought to our unique shopping center.

Anonymous said...

Where is the vocal 'Shop Local' crowd now that local businesses are fleeing HV?

Anonymous said...

That's funny, Avery

Anonymous said...

Oh, they're just as obnoxiously hypocritical in their silence as they were when they celebrated Whole Foods, who won't even use local banks.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I have been regular customers of Juniker for years but will will not support them In Madison. I don't care if they love in Eastover. They might as well move to Reunion

Anonymous said...

ditto to 625. Im not mad but Im not going there anymore. I know they wont miss me but I wont miss them either.

Anonymous said...

6:25; How air-headed can one be? Been a customer for years but will no longer shop there. Do you have a problem with walking from your Lexus into the store in Madison without worrying about being mugged? If you do, stay your ass in Jackson. Buy your jewelry at Wal-Markk. You did already, anyway.

Anonymous said...

6:41 Ew ..... my problem is walking from my Lexus and encountering some like you.

Anonymous said...

6:25: Please keep your arrogant a** on the south side of County Line Rd. Your short sightedness is showing. If you have been such a loyal customer of Juniker Jewelers why would you not support their move? I'm sure you're too young to remember when J.C Penney, Gayfers and others shut their doors at Jackson Mall and opened in North Park. Did your parents refuse to shop there? I doubt it. Then McRaes closed all of its Jackson stores. Have you ever set foot in McRaes/Belk at North Park? I hope your lawyer, account or doctor are not on the list of those that have left Jackson. Why in the heck would you bash the Juniker family for making a business decision that best suits them? They will not only own their building but will also have space to lease to others. I'm not bashing Jackson. I have spent my entire life in Jackson and the metro area. I would love to see it return to its glory days when the schools were great, doors didn't have to be locked, Mom could go grocery shopping without being beaten and robbed in the parking lot and kids could play outside without fear of being harassed by drug dealers and thugs.

PS Keep your a** out of Rankin county too! We don't need you and your bigot family over here.

Anonymous said...

There's two kind of customers at highland village. Those who have had their vehicle broken into, and those that will have their vehicle broken into.

Anonymous said...

I hope the stores stay local and not all national chains!

Anonymous said...

Good grief..... Just because you have shopped somewhere for years, it doesn't necessarily mean you are a loyal customer. Maybe it's just convenient. So someone doesn't want to drive to Madison, how is that bashing a business. Personally if my doctor moves to Madison, then to Madison I will go. If my favorite chevron moves to Madison .... well ... Probably not. I just don't see the justification for all the "arrogant... ass.... airhead... bigot" name calling. That's really more about you. I can see why you would not want anymore perceived bigots to move into rankin county... For the record....some days... I would walk to sephora if I had to.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what you call it, but when my dentist moved from south Jackson to Clinton, I didn't move with him. When my doctor moved to Grants Ferry, I didn't move with him. It's not about loyalty with me. I just like to get services near my home. I like to be able to pick my kids up from school and get them to the dentist and back home quickly. I live in south Jackson, and I don't have the time nor do I want to run all over the Metro chasing doctors. Years ago when
Toys-r-us closed in south Jackson, I started internet shopping. If a business leaves an area, surely they are looking for new customers, and I'm not obligated to follow them. Best Buy left Jackson, but my internet is still in my home, and that's how I will buy my next computer. See, it's real simple.

Anonymous said...

The criticism against the local stores leaving Jackson is misplaced. Juniker, Olde Tyme, and others aren't seeking greener pastures. Rather they have been forced out by as Massachusetts company that couldn't care less about family owned businesses, because national chains have deeper pockets to pay above-market rents. When the managing company won't return a store's email or phone call, you can hardly blame a business for moving somewhere where they are actually given a lease.

Anonymous said...

If you do get your car broken into at Highland Village, they will probably have the incident on tape, a there are cameras all over that place. They will not, however, assist the investigation in any way by letting you or any police officer see the tape. They will not be upfront about this, but will give you several hoops to jump through. After you do everything they ask, you and the police will eventually be ignored. Trust me, I know from experience and know someone else this happened to.

Anonymous said...

"My husband and I have been regular customers of Juniker for years but will will not support them In Madison. I don't care if they love in Eastover. They might as well move to Reunion"
October 6, 2015 at 6:25 PM

Nice Freudian slip!

Anonymous said...

A whole lot of economic chauvinism expressed in these comments. Most are as zealous in their bashing of Jackson as religious fanatics: "My denomination is going to heaven; the others are bound for hell".

Does it really matter whether people choose to live in Jackson? I thought this was a free country.

I moved here in 1998 and lived in Madison for 11 years. Eventually I moved to Brandon to be closer to the airport. And no, Brandon doesn't have the restaurants and other amenities. But I don't "eat out" much anyway. The metro offers a handful of good restaurants. The rest dole out expensive slop.

Granted, visiting a local Walmart is an eye opener. But not everyone in Brandon is trash. A few of us can even read and write.

As for the rich Jacksonians, they can afford armed guards if need be. Not sure why they would want to suffer that, but it's their choice, and their right.

As for the Madison residents, get ready. Uncle Sam is forcing vanilla enclaves to accept low-income apartments. It has happened in numerous places. And there ain't a damned thing you will be able to do about. Just a matter of when.

Anonymous said...

I'm not 6:25 am, but I've been a very loyal customer and I won't support the move out of Jackson either.

Leaving Highland Village because of rent is valid ( the parking over-reaction was always just that, an over-reaction to a commonly temporary situation ) but the rent increase doesn't require they leave Jackson...just Highland Village.

They decided to leave me.

It is not convenient for us to shop in Madison as we have busy schedules and don't want to add 30 minutes to our day on the highway especially at peak traffic times. I have needed to go to Apple for months and just haven't been able to find the time.

I'm sure they figured a loss of some customers in their business decision.

I like the family very much but for both of us this is a business decision. My time has dollar value and personal value.

I wish them well and hope they made a good decision for their business. I understand their frustration in the change that took place. But, I was surprised they didn't find a smaller place in Jackson and open a larger store in the suburb as family jewelers elsewhere have done. So, I'm concerned that there are some things they overlooked in the buying patterns and personal habits of their market. It may be that more of their Madison customers had reason to be in Jackson than their Jackson customers will have reason to be in Madison.

Anonymous said...

I still shop at BPO when I can find a parking place. Tried to eat lunch at Beagle Bagel a couple of weeks ago and couldn't find a parking place so after about 10 minutes I gave up and went somewhere else. I still get my hair cut there and the last time I did one of the other barber's appointments came in about 15 minutes late and apologized but said he couldn't find a parking place. I also buy almost all of my gasoline at the HV Chevron.
The owners of HV should be required to solve their parking problem before they lease any more space.

Anonymous said...

Crazy Cat Bakery is also moving out of Highland Village to Canton Mart Plaza where Majestic Burgers used to be. John hopes to be open in November 2015 or sooner. The best BLT in town!

And YOU Can't Make Me! said...

I'll just be damned if I'll get my hair cut at Beagle Bagle!

Anonymous said...

The comments here focus on Juniker and whether their Jackson client base will drive 9 miles north to the new location or not. They sell fine, expensive jewelry, not something the vast majority of us with even more than modest means are buying on a whim. Meanwhile, many very well off people in the Metro are buying items from high end jewelers all over the country. However, these NE JXN long time Juniker fans feel slighted so they claim driving 9 miles is a waste of their time. Guess they could've moved into Jackson Jewelers old space in Maywood Mart (moved to Dogwood)....sure the Dollar Tree crowd would love to ding your luxury car doors.

Anonymous said...

Where was Juniker before Highland Village? I do believe they were downtown. Was there this degree of outrage when they "abandoned" downtown? Heck No!

Anonymous said...

I live outside the Metro but have frequented HV in the past to dine and shop. I haven't been to HV but once since Whole Foods opened because the parking lot was a nightmare to navigate. I'm sure they had to redo the parking lot somewhat in order to accommodate WF, but it surely isn't as great as the layout was prior to WF.

Questions:

(1) Has the parking lot situation improved, assuming the WF "newness" has subsided?

(2) What is the word regarding Maison Weiss...are they committed to staying in HV, or is relocation a possibility? (They already have a smaller MW2 storefront on the Oxford Square, so I'd think a move north to Madison County wouldn't be out of the question.)

(3) I understand the new Juniker building/shopping center on HCP is leasing under the name "Madison Highlands." Are they looking to attract other displaced HV tenants in their "highland" development?

Anonymous said...

October 6, 9:00pm, goal seems to be to replace locals with nationals as they are not renewing local leases. But a mix of nationals and locals is a good draw, and remember, nationals employ local people and boost the economy. I do hate that they are making so many changes, though. Similar situation across the street at Maywood.

9:07, that's funny :-)

Anonymous said...

... nationals employ local people and boost the economy.

Yup, Walmart employs local people and boosts the economy. Damn right.

Anonymous said...

At 7:33, "But, I was surprised they didn't find a smaller place in Jackson and open a larger store in the suburb as family jewelers elsewhere have done."

One of the main benefits of a single location is to have all of the employees and merchandise in one store. There's no "Let me check and see if we have that at our other location." No having to get something from another location. And who would want to pay rent, taxes and other expenses in two places when completely unnecessary.

Anonymous said...

good gracious! so what if they move? maybe they think their customers will feel safer. but let me tell you this - jackson needs madison a whole lot more than madison needs jackson! if everyone from madison (myself included) never spent another penny in jackson, it would make difference. i live in madison but work in jackson. and please - jacksonions, stay in jackson. i am so sick of hearing people talk about driving to all the way to madison! it takes me longer to get down ridgewood road because of the potholes than it does to get from hwy 463 to your beautiful exit 100!

Anonymous said...

What is the status of the parking lot
across OCRoad from W Foods ?

Mister Choy Say Y'all Come said...

All this talk of jewelry stores and diamond customers makes me anxious for the next Carter Jewelers, Rain-Leak, 140% off sale. Except there ain't been no rain.

Anonymous said...

@2:33, but Wally won't use local banks...

Anonymous said...

1256: LOL. However, this old fart looks at his Rolex for the time. I believe it's about 40 years old. As to the iPhones, too many damn buttons!

What He Say? said...

"Economic Chauvinism"? That is pure bullshit!

Anonymous said...

COSTCO and WS have their data confused. Maybe WS should have bought Renaissance, they wouldn't have had to kick out any 20 year tenants - the space is already empty. Good luck, Kate Spade - Who owns/carries a Kate Spade Purse?

Vibrant neighborhood destination? After you have totally f'd every local merchant? Good luck with that. The Highland Village representative is a snakes oil salesperson. Highland Village shoppers, get out your anti-venom. You will need it. However, I do love what they've done with the exterior facade.

Anonymous said...

Since the " new" wore off Whole Foods, I've never once had a problem finding a parking place in Highland Village. I was there at noon yesterday. Some of you seem very unlucky.

I have, however, had trouble finding convenient parking ( not wanting to be on the " back 40") at Renaissance. Indeed, they are not configured for near store parking. You have to walk. Besides, if I want to shop a national chain, I can do that on line, have a better selection and be certain to find my size!

I have a Kate Spade tote, two dresses, and several of her shoes. Try to keep up. She's branched out.

It's 9 miles x 2+ the distance to my house ( I have to get back home)and it's 20 minutes in normal traffic on the Interstate . I have to get in and out so 25 to 30 minutes each way. That's an hour of my day. And, while at Highland Village, I'm also close to a grocery, drug store, clothing stores ,etc. so I can combine errands. I don't love driving or shopping. It's to make purchases and not a leisure activity for me.

And, it's more than a little convenient that my dry cleaning is picked up and returned to my house. My drug store needs are delivered. I can call several stores with whom I've established an ongoing relationship and ask them to have what I need ready for quick pick up. I can be at an emergency room for the humans in my house or neighbors or my pets in under 10 minutes. And, I haven't had to spend nearly so much time in an interior room with no windows while sirens were going off!

Maison Weiss just remodeled. It looks fabulous. They aren't going anywhere and their customers are also Juniker customers.

And, I've bought quite a bit of fine jewelry just because I was in the store and happened to see a piece I liked . I've stopped in every time I was at Maison Weiss or J Stewart to see what new things they had in. I and many others keep a " wish" list with Juniker's so my family might have a gift selection for me. What can and can't be an " impulse purchase" has fortunately changed over time. And, I choose to spend rather a lot every year on jewelry because I like having jewelry to enjoy and to hand down children and grandchildren as my family pieces are special to me and my siblings.

I want to live in a city. I've lived in a suburb. I don't like the 'burbs" and the accompanying inconvenience. You don't like a city with the risks you perceive. Fine.

But, I don't get on social media every time I hear of something bad happening in Madison neighborhoods or at Madison schools and I hear of something bad regularly. Yes , things are stolen in Madison ( you might blame a neighbor or "the help") and some of your neighbors are not very good neighbors apparently. But, I don't suggest to others on social media that they don't want to live in your neighborhood.

I'll tend to my business, and let you tend to yours. I'd appreciate the same.

Anonymous said...

Have you Jackson bashers noticed that the mayor of Columbia , South Carolina is African American? He's being interviewed about the flooding and with the rivers rising, you'll have another chance to see him.

You will not hear a South Carolinian trash talk their capitol city or it's government?

You have not and will not.

They have more pride and more sense!

Anonymous said...

They also have a female Republican governor who is not Caucasian? So what?

Neither competence nor integrity are limited to any one race, sex, religion, or city of residince.

Regarding natural disasters the people of Mississippi should be proud of their then-governor's response to Katrina. The people of Louisiana - not so much :-)

Jackson is circling the drain because intelligent voters are outnumbered. It will not improve.

Anonymous said...

12:19 It seems that you are the one who is confused. You should refrain from commenting on retail, of which you obviously know nothing about.

Kingfish said...

Parking at Whole Foods has not been an issue since the first couple of months after it opened.

The problem is the rest of the shopping center as employees need a place to park.

Anonymous said...

7:58 I shop at both Highland Village and Renaissance. With both being on the Interstate, there are only a few minutes drive time in between. You can park in front of Whole Foods and Fresh Market. Other stores may require a park and walk. That's what you do at outdoor centers, and that's what you do in enclosed malls as well. At Renaissance, you do have an option of front door parking down 2 main streets. "Back 40" is a quick walk down a sidewalk at both centers. A little exercise will do you good.

Anonymous said...

Never a shortage of parking spaces even with needs of employees. The obfuscation and avoidance by CoJ to produce materials in response to lawsuit is because there are many backdoor promises made by city officials to hide. The Chevron is soon to be history.

Anonymous said...

The Chevron is soon to be history.

Hope you are wrong about that.........

Anonymous said...

The Prophet's darling Tom Ramsey bites the dust. Downtown is BOOMING!

Anonymous said...

I take it back. Wherever the HV Cheveron goes.... I will pass all the others to do business with them. They are the best.

In Hunt Of A Better Stale Donut said...

Boy, now I've heard it all. Someone who says he will actually follow a gas station if it relocates. Is it the microwave, the hot dogs or the ICEE machine? Urinal deodorant? Sheesh!

Anonymous said...

@4:22
Yes, all of those you listed plus excellent customer service, something that is lacking at most "service stations." Do you even know what a service station is, or perhaps what one was?

Anonymous said...

4:22 am The Highland Village Chevron is the last of the full service gas stations.
So, yes, they get loyalty because they come fix flats, replace tires charge and change batteries when needed and do other car maintenance without long waits and lots of rigmarole at less cost. They know cars and their advice has always been spot on . I appreciate their honesty! They also have saved me a ton of money.
They are the good guys in a world of the greedy bastards!
Damn right I'm loyal!

Anonymous said...

Thank you 12:18 am, I'll tell my doctor that you know more than he does about how much and what kind of exercise I should get.

And, thanks for letting us knowing how far it is up and down the highways as if we didn't know. Here's a news flash. I rarely have to get on the Interstate unless I'm driving out of town.

And, you must have missed how many doctors are living in Bridgewater and have to go to the hospitals in ...drumroll...Jackson!

That you think Madison would exist without Jackson is a hoot! I take it you weren't an economics major.

Anonymous said...

Well, my goodness. 6:46, please do go back and read my 12:18 post again, because you got confused or wrongfully read far too much into it. I must have hit a nerve on suggesting a little exercise. You see I live in Jackson, and where you came up with my thinking that Madison could exist without Jackson, I do not know. in fact, I agree that the suburbs are successful due to their proximity to Jackson. I was being pro Metro in talking about Jackson and Madison County and ease of shopping and parking in both. I'm happy that you're happy that you drive in circles while enjoying your economics degree.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

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This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

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