Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Madison PD looking for two thieves

The Madison Police Department issued the following alert and needs your help finding these suspects.  There are some real winners in these pictures.


Anonymous said...

Why the hell does Mary let a place like this exist anyway? Gimme a break.....The Ulta Store? Two obese women steal multiple bags of fragrance and run jump into a car with no tag and speed away. WTF?

39110 said...

Grandview Blvd.

I see that street all of the time in “Madison the City” crime reports.

Anonymous said...

Rapid access and egress has dramatically improved in that area.

Anonymous said...

Crap, we better move 3/4ths of a mile to the north. That will solve everything. Like it always does.

Anonymous said...

They need to upgrade their security cameras. There is a company called Hikvision that makes super cheap 3MP cameras you can get from Amazon.

Anonymous said...

I would NOT hit it.

Anonymous said...

$5 gets you $10 MadisonPD will not only catch them but will learn they are a couple of our fine "Capitol City" residents.

Anonymous said...

If you build it, they will come and ruin it. Been that way since the first boat.

Anonymous said...

"They call it paradise
I don't know why
You call someplace paradise,
kiss it goodbye"

Don Henley and Glenn Frey, "The Last Resort"

Painted Turtles At The Ten Cent Store said...

That whole area is inundated with cheesy little store-fronts with cheap rent and shit merchandise. It's Mary's contribution to the concept of diversity.

No different from other areas in The Metro that might feature nail salons, check cashing, 'ten cent stores', South of The Border Heartburn Cafes and fingernail polish outlets. The names might be different, but the draw is identical. All we need now in 39110 is Cash For Titles and that isn't far off. Can a Police Precinct be far behind?

Anonymous said...

@8:39 Actually Ulta is a higher end store. It's not like all the weave stores in Jackson. It actually sells nice products. But yeah, the close access to the interstate often brings in the trash.

bill said...

Wonder why people in the Grab 'n Go Program don't practice their trade in liquor stores? My guess is they like to drink as much as they like smelling nice. It's a real mystery. Wait...could it be that the people working in liquor stores are usually armed? The rest of the retail world could learn something here. I'm not saying you should shoot someone over some perfume or a bottle of whiskey, but knowing that the person you're stealing from has a gun on his hip or under the counter might cause the thief to reconsider his options.

Anonymous said...

And I've read so many times on here that crime does not spread out of Jackson to the suburbs. That somehow some magic wand keeps crime out of the suburbs. That crime will never come to Madison or Rankin counties. Well, I'm guessing these thugettes are residents of Madison because there's no way that criminals get in a car and drive to a suburb to commit a crime.

Kingfish said...

The difference is you are not seeing repeat offenders in those two counties. Once they commit a crime in Rankin or Madison, that is usually it for awhile. There is no $10,000 bond on armed robbery to go kill someone. There aren't 8 continuances agreed to by prosecution so the perp can go kill someone. There is going to be some crime from Jackson but when they grab them, that is it. Ask Eddie Devine.

Anonymous said...

They were just shopping for stocking stuffers to go along with the donated freebies under the tree. Facial recognition software that can be run against DMV Licenses and ID Cards isn't far away.

Anonymous said...

Don't really know why y'all are whining. The great Mayor Mary has let Sams come next it will be Target. People crime is coming to our city. Our bubble is slowly bursting

Gimme That Cuticle Stick said...

10:03 says 'Ulta is a high end store'. I wonder if that's the reason not a damned one of us has ever heard of it. And, by the way....what's the definition of 'high end' fingernail polish and 'high end' hair relaxer and 'high end' bubble-bath?

Anonymous said...

@10:03 I would assume you are either a male since it is marketed toward women or you don't buy nice makeup and hair supplies as a woman. Or possibly you don't follow the Nasdaq since it is a publicly traded and well known company than most any woman was excited about.. upon hearing it was coming to Mississippi finally a few years back. Nice comment though smart*ss.

Anonymous said...

@ 10:03 "what's the definition of 'high end' fingernail polish and 'high end' hair relaxer and 'high end' bubble-bath?"

High end in this case means that it was manufactured in a really nice part of China.

Anonymous said...

At the end of the day, none of these tiny stores that measure 14 feet across the front ought to be in our midst. They can open or close over-night and are magnets for............well, fill in the blanks. You get what the hell you deserve when you open these shit stores.

Anonymous said...

Why is anyone opening and investing in NEW massive brick and mortar strip centers? That type of shopping is going by the wayside. Talk about a shortsighted plan. Eventually those places will become cash n check type places for people who don't have the Internet.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS