Friday, August 7, 2015

Jackson furloughing employees

Jackson Mayor Tony Yarber announced that most city employees will be furloughed four hours every two weeks.  The furloughs were announced in  this memo accompanying the release of the city budget:


Anonymous said...

Damn good business plan of 'our fair city's' so-called leadership. Let's raise the minimum wage of all the city employees - make them feel good and show what progressive leaders we are. But then find out what anybody in a real business (one who has to earn its dollars, not get the option of taking them by taxation) - can't afford these feel good actions.

So - the workers get more per hour but now work fewer hours. Guess they come out even and we the citizens get better service because we don't have the incompetents at work for 16 hours every month.

Anonymous said...

4:02 Hey math wizard -

Before you criticize their math skills you should have someone explain to you that "Four hours every two weeks" comes out to 8 hours every month, not 16.

Good luck balancing your own budget.

Anonymous said...

And then they require all employees to actually live in Jackson, so they can spend their dollars there. Simple math says at $8.00/hr. X 16 hours = $128.00 PER MONTH. That my fine feathered a$$holes is legalized robbery! BTW I'm one of those rednecks that don't work there, live there and avoid the city because of the crime. What your doing to YOUR employees is just plain WRONG. Now look at one of your studies and figure out how these residents are going to pay their sky high water and electric bills. If I do see ANY of your City Leadership eating out/spending money this weekend, I'll make sure to send a photo to the media, to show how THEY have extra money to spend.

Anonymous said...

OK, wasn't looking at the two week pay period. Same result, we just benefit from them not wasting time playing video games or insulting folks at their counters by half.

Guess they don't get as much 'time off' as I said. But still make the same money for less work.

Anonymous said...

An almost 10% tax increase when Jackson already has the highest millage rate in the metro area. And a fee increase in all services. Hiring freeze so that the Public Works department that has over 100 vacancies thus giving us our current street and water system can't be fixed.

More taxes. More fees. Less services. Guess our Mayor never thought about balancing the budget by cutting expenses. That would mean that he couldn't award over priced contracts to his campaign contributors and finance team.

Anonymous said...

"Math Wizard"

8 hours per every 2 week pay period works out to 17.33 hours per month, not 16.

You must have never done a payroll.

Anonymous said...

5:02- I, 4:4pm flunked math, too. LOL Forgive-me-father-for-I-have-sinned. The rest of the post is correct. Even incompetants deserve to be treated fairly. Equality, remember?

Anonymous said...

5+ mil increase? What an idiot.

Meet the Young Harvery Yarber, same as the old Harvey Johnson.

Yarber Economic Stimulus Plan for the Jackson Suburbs said...

An almost 10% tax increase when Jackson already has the highest millage rate in the metro area.

### Metro Ad Valorem Millage Rates (2013-2014) ###

Jackson = 63.14 mils (Yarber's #GoodThingsJxn)

Jackson = 58.03 mils
Canton = 56.32 mils

Edwards = 47.0 mils
Clinton = 41.49 mils

Bolton = 36.3 mils
Byram = 34.1 mils
Flora = 33.5 mils
---> AVERAGE = 32.97 mils <---

Brandon = 29.0 mils
Madison = 28.8 mils
Terry = 27.85 mils
Pearl = 27.5 mils
Raymond = 25.62 mils
Florence = 22.9 mils
Ridgeland = 20.03 mils
Flowood = 20.0 mils

Richland = 19.0 mils

*excludes County & School District

Anonymous said...

Restructuring of General Obligation debt?

C'mon Kingfish, are the Malachi refinance pimps in there?

Anonymous said...

Mayor Yarber is a farce, he came in and created several high paying positions in his administration. He let the Police department remain top heavy with positions, he just purchased a Tahoe through the police budget that he didn't need. Gus McCoy and Crisler are making bank for useless positions. JPD has 1 Chief 1 Assitant Chief 4 Deputy Chiefs 2 District Commanders 10 Commanders. Public works director make 150,000.00. Tony Yarber has pimped the city

Anonymous said...

4:44. You missed the minimum wage increase voted in by the Council last year raising the minimum wage of City of Jackson employees to $10. They did this without looking at the cost to the city, but it damned sure made the council members look like heros to the city employees. Do the math again (or get your fourth grader to help you) with the new wage and see how these poor 'public servants' come out. Looks like the net is nothing but additional paid vacation

Anonymous said...

If he isn't too busy still picking up all the McRae campaign signs on Old Canton maybe we get get Ashby Foote to tell us if his magic bullet fix-the-parking-meters plan can bridge this budget gap and save the day?

Anonymous said...

6:44- No, I didn't bother to check current wages, which I knew were probably higher. The higher wages just make it more hurtful. Instead of criticizing every word, you should be happy someone from outside that sewage, crime ridden dump will try to defend somebody who is just trying to make an honest living. I guess what they say is true, "You are Jackson!" Now live with it! LOL

Anonymous said...

Wonder when the push for a commuter tax will start?

Anonymous said...

Yarber asked NEJackson for their votes to stop Lumumba and now he's happy to redistribute their wealth. Every f'ing new housing developer outside of Jackson will get their funding approved on Monday. The JPS School Principal is an economic wizard.

Anonymous said...

You usually cannot cut a budget without reducing personnel. So, instead of laying off people, Yarber is spreading around the savings to all with the furlough. I personally think this is a better way to do the cut. When you have to make hard choices they are never popular with all the citizens. Although it is very evident that nothing is too awful for some of you to gloat at Jackson's misfortunes.

Dane Kitto said...

There will be little effect on production. Most of them don't work anyway.

Anonymous said...

When you furrow someone who was paid to cut grass, patch pot holes, or type letters you save paying them except that when they return to work the grass is not cut, potholes not patched, and letters not typed. So you save nothing. Except
that you insured them for a day when you did not need them. So you lost money.
The way to save is to fire your least efficient workers.

Anonymous said...

When Yarber was hired, didn't he create 3 new administrative positions @ $72,000 each.

And is the hot shot City Engineer still only making $150k? I heard she got a hefty pay increase.

And the new water meters were installed in what section of the city right off the bat? If you guessed affluent NE Jackson, you are correct.

Payday Loan Applicant said...

Having experienced similar furlough, I never could quite get a grip on how this does NOT violate federal employment law. The lawyers in such situations claim they've got it figured out. However, federal employment law (D.O.L. Wage/Hour) requires that 'salaried exempt' personnel be paid the same weekly or monthly (agreed upon) wage for hours worked 'whether many or few'.

That typically means that the exempt/salaried employee MUST receive the same pay, even when their work hours vary (for whatever reason). A simple illustration is that whether the month contains 28 days or 31, the paycheck is the same.

I've always wanted to see this challenged by a group of salaried/exempt employees. Of course some of you will harp that even the managers (etc) should endure the pay reduction (furlough) if the hourly employees must. But, that is not the point of my post, which is to challenge the application of this policy as compared to federal law.

And I've never thought that pissing off the workforce is the best way to proceed with cost savings. Surely there are other measures available.

Anonymous said...

"Math Wizard"

8 hours per every 2 week pay period works out to 17.33 hours per month, not 16.

You must have never done a payroll."

Actually, I have.

I was rounding off and estimating (yes, I do understand the difference between 12 monthly paychecks and 26 biweekly paychecks).

But the bigger problem than my rounding error is your inability to read English. The release says they are cutting 4 hours every 2 week pay period, not 8.

Anonymous said...

As a 50-year Jackson resident homeowner (moved three times) and former small business owner I have watched this city fall apart with crime, pot-holed and car destroying streets, water woes, high water and sewage rates, added sales taxes on everything I purchase and increased taxes in restaurants, car tags that cost more than a mortgage payment, property taxes that keep climbing and city services that are a joke, and the list goes on. I have reached my breaking point. The Fondren worshipers can have it. I am getting out. I tried to remain positive, but there is only so much an individual can endure. I still love Jackson, but Jackson is in a death spiral and I am tired of talking positive when in my heart I know it isn't true.

Anonymous said...

We need to put this on hold and commission a study.Surely Stokes knows some peoples who could do it. Yeah, a study is what we need.

Anonymous said...

Yarber appears to be running the city like he ran the school... taking it from a higher graded school to a lower graded school with special "friend" working in the school... now we have friends in administration doing what ???... tax increases and what appears to be a high dollar contract also trying to have awarded to friends rather than the lowest and some would say, more qualified bidder (see last week's N.side Sun)...maybe the state auditor can look at city finances... what about the tahoe ? - So once again, we seem to have a mayor who is more interested in fulfilling his desires (a Tahoe?) and giving his friends jobs than doing what is best for the city... way to go...

Anonymous said...

Funny how the City Council staff isn't furloughed. Are they part-time? If not, how can they be essential personnel.

Tony Holstein said...

The dwindling herd of Jackson's cash cows gets overmilked again. Homeowners all over the metro outside of Jackson love, love, love what Yarber is doing to increase their property values. They have the supply and Yarber stimulates the demand.


Anonymous said...

Furloughs over two years do nothing to resolve the budget busting imbalance of a city government that has never been right-sized to match the concomitant reduction in population and tax paying households/businesses. Jackson government numbers more employees today than were on staff in 1976 when the city had 206,000 residents. This is the exact same unenlightened path of unsupportable tax hikes, fee increases and debt restructuring that Detroit took into complete ruin. Detroit furloughed employees or let them choose a 10% pay cut. Detroit's path to issue avoidance only slightly delayed the inevitable and now Tony Yarber proposes to have Jackson march down its own economic Bataan march into insolvency. What a fool.

Anonymous said...


A very few of you seem able to do basic math.

None of you are apparently economics majors nor do you know much how government is supposed to function or does function, as evidenced by your love of blaming the wrong people. You seem to have zero knowledge of what their decision options are and why those options are so poor.

At least there was one honest redneck who admitted he hasn't even laid eyes on Jackson in a long time.

When I came to Jackson, city government, indeed ALL government was lily white and if y'all don't know the current problems and costs are the direct result of those in power at the time enriching themselves and their main supporters at the expense of Jackson's progress and future , you are blind as a bat!

Here's a news flash for you, the city's infrastructure was ignored, sound economic policy was ignored, sound long range planning was ignored,and any sort of workable model used elsewhere was ignored for decades ( especially city and state codes ) before a black person ever took office!

Here's an example, if good government practices had been in place, the King Edward Hotel would NEVER had become the eye sore and disaster it became. The owners would have been held accountable. Couldn't to THAT to owners in MS who'd also have to be accountable!

And there's the sad shame that, building codes and that required of developers should have been ensured better " bones". Having built homes in MS for myself, I have always been appalled at the below standard requirements!

All the new build in Madison and Rankin is going to fall apart unless those who own the buildings had enough sense to make sure the materials that should have been used were used and properly installed!

There are entire neighborhoods where the grading of the land and the sewer systems and roads were horribly done and the sewer lines from the homes to the street are inadequate.

Good grief people, use your EYES when there's a new build. Warped studs are usually visible and you should see some damn big beams holding up multi-level structures! Wiring shouldn't look like spaghetti! If you see those things , you should be awfully concerned about what you can't see!

Anonymous said...

Why did you vote Yarber in. Everyone from suburbia told you this was a wrong move. Did you listen? No, because you said time and again, your way is the only way. One sector of Jackson says that suburbia needs to support the city, the other calls us racist, rednecks and other censored names, but they still want to live in our safe communities, go to our schools (for are dreaming ), have our strict law enforcement and want us to allow low income housing. You have dug a hole so deep that no hotel or parking garage will fill the void. Jackson is still living in the 50's and 60's. Don't you realize history has its place, which is in our history books, not on every street corner or venue. The majority of the time, it doesn't work long term and doesn't attract the much needed tax base that is desparately needed. Any reputable, proven, established company that shows an interest in expanding to Jackson, you scare away because you "insist" on forcing them to hire who "you" want hired. Instead, you should be less a bully and trust that they must know how to handle their business, because they, after all have the resources and you dont.

Montly Check said...

When you people elected Harvey the first time he ran, you watched him open and operate an employment office, off and on, for many years, over several terms. Now, many of the friends and daughters of friends whom he hired have fifteen to twenty years of city employment and are about to be a burden on the PERS system.

The only reason he was re-elected several times is because he hired so many of you and your daughters and your husbands' friends. He no doubt added thirty percent more fat to the already heavy employment ranks. You sat idly by, fat and happy, drinking the Kool-Aid and riding the tour bus around town and attending the annual block party. Now, this.

Anonymous said...

4:20 AM - correct. As a point of comparison:

Water Rates:
New York City - $3.70/100CcF
Jackson - $3.21/100CcF
Chattanooga - $1.98/65-500 CcF. Goes down even further the more water you use!

Jackson is much smaller than Chattanooga but $1.23 more per 100CcF.

Could it be incompetence in all levels of leadership? You cannot fix Jackson with elections. Like Detroit it needs outside intervention.

Kingfish said...

I wonder what the debt service is on these deals. Can't say I didn't warn y'all.

Bond refinance in 2011

Jackson pays extra $8 million to refinance in 2010

Big swing in 2015 on that 2010 deal.

Also don't forget Chokwe increased the budget by 40% and the city council started raising minimum wage last year.

Did I mention the clerks office is exempt? It belongs to the city council. Heaven forbig those little tin-pots who are elected should suffer. Oh, that's right, Mr. Potentate himself, Kenneth Stokes, wanted four assistants while he was a supervisor.

Kingfish said...

The excel spreadsheet is cumbersome to upload as you can see. Its not really 976 pages. If you want me to shoot you a copy in excel format, shoot me an email at

Anonymous said...

Hey KF! Maybe zip the file to compress it when you send it out.

Anonymous said...

Jerry Clower tells a very funny story about a new chandelier for the East Fork Consolidated Baptist Church and a deacons meeting to discuss the purchase. Just substitute Jackson for the church and the Jackson City Council for the deacons and you will have quite a laugh especially Uncle Versie's last line about needing LIGHTS before buying a chandelier.

Keep Up Or Go Home said...

10:18; Please, if you want to be taken seriously, either attempt acceptable syntax/English/sentence structure or get somebody to proof-read your posts before you walk away.

Here's just ONE of many examples:

"All the new build in Madison and Rankin is going to fall apart"

Anonymous said...

10:18 are an moran.

Anonymous said...

The long message to 10:18 should be addressed to 5:36.

Anonymous said...

1.) The high taxes in Jackson has driven everyone out and the politicians blame it on white flight.
2.) Mostly who live in Jackson are renters. They get their HUD money sent directly to the landlord.
3.) Look at all the For Sale signs around Jackson and you will realize that you will have to give your house away to get out.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish endorsed tony Yarber for mayor, to hurt the city.. The proof in the pudding.. KF said, this who yall needed.. These are the results. Whites taking Jackson back through. Putting money behind black candidates that will sell out the citizens..

Pop Quiz said...

"10:18 are an moran."

Hang tough, 6:58, JPS are comin' back skrong.

Anonymous said...

Thank you 6:58 pm . I didn't take time to edit and don't have an editor on hand.

There are reasons publishing houses and newspapers have editors. If I had taken time, there is no guarantee I would have caught the errors. One of the reasons there are editors is that when someone reads over their own material, they often read it as intended rather than how it is typed.

So, you might as well have just called me a " moran" as 6:29 am did. I think he meant moron but misspelled it.

Neither of you disputed anything I wrote but attacked the messenger. That's bush league.

You did not point to work on the infrastructure, most particularly the water and sewer system, that was done during the years of white government because you couldn't. You didn't give examples of building code comparisons to demonstrate codes were up to par. You didn't deny that warped studs and inadequate support beams are going up in buildings because they are not inspected properly. And, you do not seem to understand that it is hard to deal with wiring problems later if the wiring is tangled.

And, gosh, I didn't even mention that studs are often too far apart when the standard is well established for good reason.

I know of two homes, one in Madison and one in Jackson built in 1977-1982 that passed city inspection. The one in Madison was not, as the VA inspector fortunately discovered, grounded. The one in Jackson did not have the sewer line from the house connected to the street and that caused all sorts of problems years down the line for the entire neighborhood.

At least two neighborhoods developed in Madison had septic tanks which were not up to standard. Federal tax dollars later paid for proper sewage systems to be put in those neighborhoods.

There are good builders and developers in MS that do a good job and even point out in advance to owners what needs to be done to insure that problems are avoided. But, even good contractors have to adhere to contracts.

My point still is that white government in MS created much of the costs that came later . You do remember the condition of the drainage in Jackson in 1979 and how that made the flooding worse , do you not? It was not just that creeks and ditches were neglected but that lots had not been properly graded.

And, those in power knew better. It'd be different if the knowledge of how to build properly or what needed to be done, did not exist. It did.

Anonymous said...

There you go. White government/black government. How about bad leadership vs good leadership. You gotta blame race for everything. The black leaders are ripping off their own race, just as much white leadership is and you can't deny that. How about a mandatory lie detector test for each candidate running for office, to find out what their true motives are for themselves and the city. It wouldn't be too popular I bet. Showing your true feelings and motives would be rough. ;)

Keep Up Or Go Home said...

hmmm. I submitted a nice, well thought out, lengthy reply to the claims stated by 7:20 and each of her idiotic retorts. Can't imagine why the blog admin shat-canned the post. I also point out that she is a department head working for the City of Jackistan.

Kingfish said...

Probably because you wrote your post in ebonics and I considered it toberacist.

Anonymous said...

You are wasting your time @5:31 PM replying to that Harpy.

You People said...

"Neither of you disputed anything I wrote but attacked the messenger. That's bush league."

ACTUALLY, Bush League is a City of Jackson Department Head weighing in to blame all the evils and ills of the city on prior white administrations.

"You did not point to work on the infrastructure, most particularly the water and sewer system, that was done during the years of white government because you couldn't."

ACTUALLY, there you go again. Blame it on what you call 'white government'. How can a public employee refer to periods of time as 'white' and 'black' government as if conspiracies and plans for failure exist(ed) during either. That statement alone disqualifies you from serving the public.

"And, gosh, I didn't even mention that studs are often too far apart when the standard is well established for good reason.

I know of two homes, one in Madison and one in Jackson built in 1977-1982 that passed city inspection. The one in Madison was not, as the VA inspector fortunately discovered, grounded. The one in Jackson did not have the sewer line from the house connected to the street and that caused all sorts of problems years down the line for the entire neighborhood."

ACTUALLY, you can't be taken seriously with comments like those. Studs off center, twisted wires and two houses that failed inspection forty years ago? Seriously? What we are really talking about here is inattention to routine maintenance, failure to correct known structural problems and watching the city crumble while fiddling away at running an employment office for friends and relatives.

"At least two neighborhoods developed in Madison had septic tanks which were not up to standard. Federal tax dollars later paid for proper sewage systems to be put in those neighborhoods."

ACTUALLY septic systems have not been allowed in Madison in over thirty years. There was a time when anybody with a shovel could lay and install a septic tank, 55 gallon in-line drum or direct line into a pond or stream. But, we are talking here about massive infrastructure failure and inattention over the past four or five city administrations. This is not about sewage seepage in a rural yard due to the passage of time and poor field lines.

"My point still is that white government in MS created much of the costs that came later . You do remember the condition of the drainage in Jackson in 1979 and how that made the flooding worse , do you not? It was not just that creeks and ditches were neglected but that lots had not been properly graded."

ACTUALLY, there you go again with your 'white government' racist remarks. As if white government employees were improperly grading lots and 'white government employees' were neglectful of their duties and paid no attention to acceptable standards and code.

The total take-away from your posts is that 'you people' (since you insist on drawing a bright line between white government and black government) feel that you are entitled and are owed reparations in the form of funding and grants to repair failed systems.

If I inherit an old Cadillac from my grandfather's estate and eventually the wheels fall off, it is hardly my granddaddy's fault because of the type of oil he used in the engine and there's no way I can blame it on the dealership that went out of business forty years ago. GUESS WHAT? It's my own fault for not doing a partial or complete over-haul and periodic, routine maintenance which might include some expense.

Anonymous said...

4:54 am You disputed nothing.

Blaming only Black mayors for Jackson's current problems IS what is racist when past white administrations deserve their share of the blame as well.

You are talking about the last several administrations and I'm pointing out that some of the failures happened prior to the administrations that were equally egregious and it's not about race. It's about the abominable leadership Mississippi has suffered for far too many decades!

It is that each race is BLIND to their own race's shortcomings and doesn't look at issues based on more than tribal loyalty that IS the problem.

And, sorry to disappoint you but I am whiter than the driven snow and have the genealogical records to prove it. I have never received a paycheck from any government entity in the State of Mississippi either.

You are the one obsessed with race. I'm simply pointing out that us white folk are cursed with the corrupt and incompetent as well and that should be the focus...corruption and incompetence.

If it had been all along, Mississippi would have been better off!

I would also point out the " Harpy" silliness is the height of hypocrisy for those who harp about how awful Jackson is all the time!

Kingfish said...

OK, I'll stipulate Kane was the worst Mayor Jackson ever had, even more than Melton. 1997 was nearly 20 years ago. Blacks have run Jackson for nearly twenty years.

As for what someone said about Yarber earlier, it was the Black Power crowd (Chokwe and his council) that increased the budget by 40% in one damn year with no means to pay for the increase.

It was the Black Power crowd that wanted to increase the minimum wage for city employees and did so without any thought as to future revenue or economics.

It was the Black Power crowd (Stallworth and Stokes on the radio) that defended Malachi as a "minority business" as he gave us these bond deals that are now blowing up.

I think the Mayor is going about this the wrong way. The tax base and population goes down while the size of the government and the spending has not done so as well. No one wants to lay off. No one wants to cut out departments. Well, now is the time to do it. Get rid of the museum. Make the Zoo regional, give it a regional board as the burbs benefit from having a zoo in the Jackson area. Heaven knows they like to use it as an example of cultural amenities when they try to land economic development projects. Do we need a Municipal Museum? Time to really make the hard choices. No one wants to suffer any pain now and that usually means much more pain down the road.

Oh, don't forget Harvey running off Puckett. All they wanted was some cutouts for their business. They could not even get a response from the Mayor's office while Sean liked to play big dog around town. The loss of sales tax revenue to Jackson was staggering. It would impact this deficit in a major positive way if it was added back into the revenue.

Anonymous said...

PS 4:54 am Homes and buildings with " bad bones" are still going up in Madison county and in very expensive neighborhoods and throughout the State. And, there are problems with commercial buildings as well. So while I do have some examples from 30 years ago, the fact is that the problems still exist. Building codes, permitting , inspection and government contract letting in all of Mississippi is not what it should be.
The legal disputes generated as a result , too often, can be blamed on bad government. Good architects, builders, and sub-contractors and not just owners too often find themselves in no-win, needless situations.
More than a few honorable people in every area of the construction industry have tried to doing something about it for decades!

Anonymous said...

The Lily-White-As-Driven-Snow Harpie (10:18, 7:20, 7:57, 8:43 et al) is a broken record of nonsense. Comparing warped studs, field lines in a rural pasture and copper wire to years of inattention and neglect resulting in a billion dollars worth of broken systems is plain damn nonsense.

Instead of hanging out here and jabbering about white-folk-fault, maybe you oughta be up in the next county to the north hiring Rudy to cure the ills of Jackson's failed infrastructure. I heard through the grapevine he might be shopping out his resume. His schedule for a basic study starts at 1.6 mil.

Anonymous said...

Much of the pipe that is breaking in Jackson was manufactured in Mississippi. It is concrete. Stupid choices made by white government then. I believe the Legislature pushed for Mississippi products and this pipe was not good for our soil. Costs are comparable for laying it too.

One of the main problems in Jackson is heavy trucks using roads not built for them. Check out the number of huge truck traveling in Jackson day and night. The city can never afford to build to MDOT standards and they could not build either without subsidies.

Someone smarter than me is going to have to figure out this weight load situation. And the truckers' lobbiest are in town trying to raise the weight and length limits now. Pretty soon trucks will look like trains. Only difference is trains maintain and pay for their own roadbeds.

That Goose Won't Fly Harpy said...

Sounds like ONE (or maybe two) harpies attempting to lay a foundation from which to 'force' the legislature to pay a billion to re-pipe the city. That dog won't hunt. Concrete pipe fifty to seventy years ago was state of the art and was laid in every municipality in this country. Next you'll expect reparations for down-stream duck-poop caused by white government not banning migratory birds from the Pearl River.

Anonymous said...

"Next you'll expect reparations for down-stream duck-poop caused by white government not banning migratory birds from the Pearl River. "

That's right! Canadian geese! And Canadian government is way whiter than ours! Make the Canucks pay!

Anonymous said...

ACCOUNTABILITY! Post tony yarber's salary along with the 'new position' salaries. Let's start eliminating at this end FIRST.

For The Sake Of Comparison said...

Obama brings in a bunch of young liberals and minorities and they spend the next six years (so far) blaming prior (white) administrations for all the evils of the world. "Can't be US. WE weren't in charge then."

The same is true of Jackson, as evidenced by many of the posts above.

Anonymous said...

$228 incrementally for your Mommy to pay Tom.

Anonymous said...

I really don't care what anyone from Madison or Rankin County thinks of Jackson. I don't care one iota about what goes on in their counties. However, if you live in Jackson and your criticism is not constructive, take a breather. Then volunteer some time and service. That's what I do. It's really rewarding. Call JPS; they need readers. Volunteer at the Stewpot. Do something besides talking all the time.

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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS