Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Dodgeball coming to Jackson.

The city of Jackson issued the following press release:


Department of Parks and Recreation Announces New Adult Dodgeball League

Registration has begun for the new Adult Dodgeball League sponsored by the City of Jackson Department of Parks and Recreation.

The registration is free. Men and women ages 18 and older may register by team. Teams should be comprised of eight (8) players in which two (2) must be females. At least two (2) females must be on the court at the beginning of each game. The league will be governed by the National Dodgeball Association Rules (NADA).

All games are played at Grove Park Community Center, and the season culminates with a city championship and league tournament.   

Register at the Metrocenter Mall, Parks and Recreation Department, 1000 Metrocenter, Suite 104.  The deadline for team registration is Friday, Jan. 16, 2015. There are limited team slots available.  For more information, please call the Department of Parks and Recreation at 601-960-0471.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

And if we had that new 18,000 seat arena, we'd be hosting the Adult Dodgeball national championship tournament. Somebody needs to do a study, quick.

Anonymous said...

Sponsored by ESPN 8. The Ocho.

Anonymous said...

2:59. Or the new baseball stadium. Then get a few brews on farish..

Anonymous said...

This could have come from The Onion....

Just too much in the news....dodgeball and the Stokes.

I need a drink.

Anonymous said...

Should be a good fit...after all "if you can dodge a bullet, you can dodge a ball".....

Anonymous said...

FUCK YOU KINGFISH

Anonymous said...

My, my, the haters have come out.
But, the clouds are parting quickly, and you need to return to the shadows before the light lights you up, and POOF.

anon.

Anonymous said...

Should go over well here, as the 5 D's of dodgeball, dodge, dip, duck, dived and dodge are the 5 most effective ways to not get shot in Jackson.

Anonymous said...

Should go over well here, as the 5 D's of dodgeball, dodge, dip, duck, dived and dodge are the 5 most effective ways to not get shot in Jackson.

Anonymous said...

@2:59 - I'd bet Rudy would do it for a cool $1.2M

Anonymous said...

There have been a few of my posts that KF refused to post, yet December 17, 2014 at 6:58 PM gets posted, and mine were no where nearly so rude or vulgar.

Anonymous said...

@6:58 My, my, it would appear that KF has angered the "dodgeball community". Let's see, there's an adult kick-ball league, an adult dodgeball league, when is there going to be an adult see-saw league. Or monkeybars league? Adult adolescents abound.

Anonymous said...

Will security be provided or is it BYOG?

Anonymous said...

This will not end well.



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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


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Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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