Friday, March 28, 2014

Zoo celebration Sunday

The Jackson Zoo just issued the following press release:

Jackson Zoo Accreditation Celebration March 30th

After receiving word from the AZA accreditation board on the success of the appeal for accreditation, the Jackson Zoo will be hosting an "Accreditation Celebration" on Sunday, March 30, 2014.

Executive Director Beth Poff will be available for interviews at 1:00pm

What: Accreditation Celebration
Where: Jackson Zoo
When: Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:30-3:30pm
Details: Visitors will received half price admission, live music, snacks, special deals at the cafe.


Anonymous said...

Hallelujeh, hallelujeh!

Anonymous said...

Hallelujeh, hallelujeh!

Anonymous said...

Jackson, Mississippi: Where Barely Meeting the Absolute Minimum Standards to Continue Operating (after an appeals process) is Cause For a Party!

Anonymous said...

Move the dumpy zoo to NEJXN, get the state behind the project as a state of MS zoo, and for once do something right regarding this debacle.

Anonymous said...

11:29. You must not be from around here. That makes way too much sense.

Anonymous said...

The problem with moving the zoo anywhere is, where are the funds to pay for that going to come from? The same source that is going to pay for that new domed stadium at JSU? Come on.

NE Ms Legislator said...

The state would LOVE to be a sponsor IF the state is the namesake. Trust me.

Anonymous said...

Nashville moved theirs for several years. Just saying... It's not undoable, it has been done before.

Anonymous said...

Why would 'the state' give a rat's ass if 'the state is the namesake'? What a stupid notion.

NE Miss Legislator said...

10:49. What is better: the Jackson Civil Rights Museum or the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum? The Jackson Sports Hall of Fame Museum or the Mississippi Sports Hall of Fame Museum? Duh.

Anonymous said...

And, if Mississippi taxpayers are going to be ponying up their support, it should be a state zoo.
Having a focal point of activities to interest people with children by having the Ag Museum, Natural Science, Children's Museum and the zoo together and closer to the historical interests, Planetarium and Art Museum downtown as well as hotels would be a draw to tourists.

Acquiring enough added property would be the obstacle. But, IF everyone got on board and worked together that could be overcome.

In Mississippi, it's the working together part that's the biggest obstacle! Too many damn negative " ag'in it" people.

Snake Pit said...

I don't know of anyone other than Kenneth Stokes who gets twisted around the axle about the names of places. Again, who gives a rat's ass what the name of the place is? If it's going to survive,it must be relocated.

Guess what.....if it's out at the museum on 55 north it will bring in the same taxes as it does now, only a hundred times more. Maybe 300 times as much.

Anonymous said...

" it will bring in the same taxes as it does now, only a hundred times more. Maybe 300 times as much. "

Non-profits, such as the zoo, are paying taxes now?

I'll make a note.

PS Please give us a heads up every time you find some outfit ready to boost its revenue 300-fold - they're a bot hard to find, believe it or not.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS