Update: Here is the alert from the Reunion Homeowner's Association:
A Reunion resident in the Lakepoint area has reported that a pet boa constrictor has escaped its aquarium. The snake has never hurt anyone or been known to be aggressive.
The Madison Police Department has been made aware of this situation and will respond to any reported sighting. Please call the MPD at 601-856-6111 if you see the snake.
The Snake is brown and approximately 7 feet in length. MPD Animal Control is also responding to the situation.
Original post last night:
An 8 foot Boa Constrictor, that is a snake, not one of the Boa Babes although some ex-husbands may beg to differ, is on the loose in Reunion right now thanks to the alleged negligence of a certain former Democratic gubernatorial candidate (no, not the toe-sucker but the one who has Angel Eyes) who owns the snake in question as well as the tank in which he was confined.
Now a word from our sponsor: Did this crisis cause you to suffer pain and suffering? Mental anguish? Were your children traumatized by the unexpected horror of being killed by a Boa Constrictor? Did you find yourself experiencing mental anguish because you suddenly needed your xanex pills but were out? Don't worry. The law firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe will make sure you get what you deserve and to quote the patron saint of Reunion, David Nutt, make sure he gets what he deserves.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Boa Babe in Reunion (Updated w/ Alert)
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
39 comments:
Mayor Mary allows people to keep snakes in Madison??? Surely not!
How about me, your wife and this snake I just found?
If you lived out this way, it would not be funny! We have real forests and thousands of trees just in yards near Reunion. When was the last time this boa constrictor ate? Do we need to keep the dog inside? Who is looking for it and where? Good grief! The whole thought of this is terrifying to me!
I hope that came through anonymous. I had to try three times to get through the hyroqlyphics and use a magnifier.
Since we're right in the middle of alligator season, will the legislature authorize DWFP to add additional officers on an emergency basis? Which night can we expect to see Bert in hip-waders interviewing the Madison County Sheriff, the silver-haired guy from Game and Fish and someone from the Zoo?
No one will ever see this bad boy again. Too many places to hide. It's Fluffy season in Reunion...
Aren't boas particularly attracted to pineapples?
Oh, I'm being eaten
By a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
And I don't like it--one bit.
Well, what do you know?
It's nibblin' my toe.
Oh, gee,
It's up to my knee.
Oh my,
It's up to my thigh.
Oh, fiddle,
It's up to my middle.
Oh, heck,
It's up to my neck.
Oh, dread,
It's upmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff . . .
~ Shel Silerstein
"No, not the toe-sucker..." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"Now a word from our sponsor..."
Priceless, Kingfish! Bravo!
Oh, yes, this will end in tears (and chokes, gasps, and death, like as not)! What kind of idiot keeps a lethal snake as a pet?
My tennis team is scheduled to play a match Friday morning on the Reunion courts. Need to re-read the JLTA day-league rules to see if we must forfeit if a player is strangulated by a boa constrictor.
Boa might want to play mixed doubles.
9:17 When snakes are outlawed, only outlaws will have snakes.
I hear that's not the only snake on the loose out there...
Strangulated?? Really???
strangled/suffocated. Get over it.
ok. everyone put your keys in the boa
Bill Dees - It's a word.
I've been away from MS for a while, so I feeling out of the loop. Which candidate was a "toe-sucker"?!
3:07 a former governor (Dem variety)
seriously, do these things know how to hiberate? will the first freeze kill the serpent? they can kill a wide variety of small animals. my ex bro in law had a huge one and it took three or four rabbits periodically to nourish it.
@ 2:52. I agree that it's a word - it's just the wrong word as used in the comment.
4:48, the bad freeze down in Florida a year or two ago killed some of them, but plenty survived. I'd keep the weiner dog on a leash for awhile...
Maybe they should call in the Turtleman to rouns it up.
The escaped snake has started it's own twitter account @PuppyTheBoa.
Not to worry 4:48. According to WLBT, this particular Reunion boa constrictor is a member of the John Arthur Eaves, Jr. household.
He answers to the name of "Puppy". Don't worry about the rabbits, but you might wish to keep the
little foo-foo lap dogs in the house for awhile.
A giant South American snake is on the loose in Reunion.
Perfect situation for Butch Hammack & Bert Case
to interrupt regularly scheduled programing with updates.
3:07, currently practicing law in Ridgeland. Facts came out a few years ago in lawsuit involving a Tennessee/Mississippi trust and its trustee who evidently had interesting toes.
Haley was right about Eaves. He doesn't know what he doesn't know.
I feel extreme pain and emotional distress about this. Can anyone recommend a good lawyer to sue the person responsible?
Eaves has the largest mansion in the state, with slave quarters and a small church on the grounds, out on North Old Canton Road. Does he also own a snake house in Reunion? Dayum! Those asbestos cases are lucrative.
Lemme get this straight- So, for $400 WHOLE dollars, for its "safe" return (if I lived in Reunion), I'm supposed to approach this thing, box it up (?), and be its keeper til it's picked up? Is that what the reward is suggesting?
I would think, shotgun, boots, purse. Not, return the thing to the home that let it escape in the first place to let it get bigger for next time.
Also, he mentions in the news video, his concern (too), because he has a 3 year old daughter. Um, then why did you get it?
Not trying to be a smart butt, honestly hope it ends well. Just, what a situation..
My thoughts exactly, Stiletto.
When JAE said he was concerned for his three-year old daughter, all I could think was.....then why the h*** do you have a boa constrictor in your home???!
Obviously no common sense is being used.
Maybe child welfare needs to get involved?
KF - I think I just noted a mistake in your original post (up top) regarding Eaves' political affiliation - didn't he run against Haley in the Repub primary?
KF - never mind last post - got Haley's opponents confused....
Didn't he wear a white suit and drive a white Corvette, or was that ("Hello Friends") Pat Boone?
Those Reunion men really need to learn to keep their snakes in the cage.
Those Reunion men really need to learn to keep their snakes in the cage.
Hard to do considering the length. ;-)
"Is that a seven-foot boa or are you just happy to see me?" says a Real Housewife of Reunion.
So this snake was "hot-footing" away from a lawyer......
shadowfx:
it's his son, jr.
duh...
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