Sunday, July 31, 2011

I report, you decide.

Updated with Hewes response.

Nothing like a good ole food fight a couple of days before a primary. The Reeves campaign sent a mailer concerning one of Mr. Hewes' bills to several Republican areas such as Clinton and Madison. The Hewes camp accused the Reeves tribe of race-baiting. WLBT picked up on the story:

and the Clarion-Ledger reported:

"Republican lieutenant governor candidate Billy Hewes is crying foul over a mail-out from rival Tate Reeves' camp that claims Hewes wants to merge certain school districts.

With four days left before the election, the mail-out is the latest point of contention in what has become the most bitter race of the primary election season.

Voters in areas with high-performing predominantly white school districts this week received mailings that imply Hewes wants to merge those districts with predominantly black schools."

The Hewes campaign says that is untrue and wants an apology.

"This is race-baiting, scare tactics - plain and simple," said Hewes spokesman Keith Plunkett said Friday

The bill is SB# 2024. The 128-page bill states on the first few pages:

SECTION 1. This act shall be known and may be cited as the "Mississippi School District Reorganization Act of 2011."
SECTION 2. (1) From and after July 1, 2014, there shall be no more than eighty-one (81) public school districts in the State of Mississippi. Each county in the State of Mississippi shall constitute a school district and shall be known as the school district of ____________ County, Mississippi. Each county school district shall constitute a unit for the control, organization and administration of schools. All the other type of school districts, whether they be consolidated or line consolidated districts, municipal separate districts or special municipal separate districts, shall cease to exist on June 30, 2014. All county school districts created or reconstituted according to the provisions of this act shall have the same prerogatives, powers, duties and privileges as provided in this act. On June 30, 2014, every board of trustees of every municipal separate, special municipal separate, consolidated or line consolidated school district or agricultural high school shall cease to exist; and the newly created or reconstituted county school districts in this state shall be governed by the county boards of education selected as provided for by law. On June 30, 2014, every county superintendent of education and every superintendent of every municipal separate, special municipal separate, consolidated or line consolidated school district or agricultural high school shall cease to exist; and the newly created or reconstituted school districts in this state shall be administered by the superintendents selected as provided for in this act

The bill provides for a school board made up of one member from each Supervisor District. Any county with a population less than 3,000 is combined with an adjacent county school district (Not a bad idea.).

Keith Plunkett, Communications Director for the Hewes campaign, sent this email to JJ:

"Senator Hewes has introduced hundreds of bills. SB 2024 is a foundational bill intended to begin the discussion on education reforms. This is a common occurrence in the legislature and is intended to get ideas across and bring people to the table to talk about reforms. Few bills make it out of committee as introduced. This is one of those bills. If our opponent had any experience or understanding of how legislation is created and how consensus is built he would know this. He is taking a simplistic approach to campaigning because he has no in depth experience of the issues to discuss.

Senator Hewes DOES NOT support the consolidation of all school districts under one county administration. He supports consolidating administrative functions to save money. It is clearly stated in the Game Plan for Mississippi, and no amount of political gotcha changes that fact

I've read most of the bill and don't see a section where it states just administrative or purchasing functions are combined. I do not think Senator Hewes set out to destroy Clinton public schools or combine them with Jackson. I think its more a case of what is usually the case in the legislature: a piece of poorly drafted legislation. I spoke to Mr. Plunkett, who said the bill was a starting point and it was a way to get the attention of teachers and school boards who are resistent to any consolidation in any form. I've seen enough legislative sausage made to know what he is talking about and it makes sense. However, the Senator did write the bill, the language is there, and the Reeves campaign did jump on it and used it to their advantage.


Anonymous said...

Headline should read: "Hewes campaign lies....again"

Anonymous said...

They have been lying all along - but what do expect when you have a campaign manager who was a former executive director of the democratic party and runs a bingo hall in Cleveland that rakes in millions a year and the proceeds go to a charity run by shands ang Steve Guyton. what a bunch!

Anonymous said...

I read the bill - Hewes wants 81 districts - period. Rosemary Aultman and Gallo need to earn how to read. Jackson and Clinton public schools would be merged - it's the fact if that bill had been passed. Maybe that's the reason no other Senator signed on as co-author. The bill died in committee. The Hewes camp needs to stop lying. They have been "short" on the facts from day one.

Anonymous said...

Reeves wants to cut the number of administrators and put that money back into the classrooms where it belongs. We are top heavy and need to focus on teaching. Hewes has been in the legislature for 20 years - Ask yourself this - is the state any better off financially? NO - we are billions in debt - thanks to the legislators wgo kept voting for projects like Magnolia Venture and the Beef Plant. Candidates for state office this year voted for these projects - Billy Hewes for Magnolia Venture and the Beef Plant and Cindy Hyde-Smith for the Beef Plant (she was not in the Senate to vote on magnolia Venture) By the way Hyde-Smith still says the Beef Plant was a good idea. Maybe that's why cull-cow Lester Spell endorsed her last week.

Anonymous said...

Feeling the HEAT huh TATERS?

Anonymous said...

Does Tate really think he is going to waltz in there and cram his wishes down everybody's throat? Hewes obviously knows this process of consensus building very well. For Tate to take a first draft of a bill that was always intended to be changed and use that for political points is the utmost in childishness. The fact that he only sent his mailer to primarily white districts to scare them into thinking they may be grouped in with black districts is deplorable. If Tate Reeves is elected, Mississippi will have some dark days ahead.

Anonymous said...

at least Kingfish is smart enough to understand the legislative process! Tate and his followers on this blog - well, i can't say that! Everyone who understands the legislative process knows that bills that people know are not going to get out of committee are introduced for negotiation purposes. Senator Hewes and others, INCLUDING HALEY BARBOUR, who Tate constantly ties himself too, wanted to do this to get the supes of education to the talking table. that is all. And during his campaign speeches and in his WRITTEN PLAN, Billy Hewes has clearly stated his intentions. Tates quote that is in the news is verbatim out of Billy Hewes Game Plan. I wish that intelligence voted, but unfortunately we are left with too may people who have absolutely no idea how the legislative process works, and unfortunately one of those is Tate Reeves and his supporters. Sad!!! And if this is true - why drop this only in districts where a majority white might be merged with blacks? smart on Tate's part - maybe, but dirty politics? DEFINITELY!

And if Tate Reeves wins, if he learns anything on the job, he will soon figure out that it is not all about him. he will have to work with senators to introduce bills for negotiations etc all the time. I just hope someone calls him out on everyone of them, and rubs his face in his hypocrisy when he tries to explain why he did it.

Anonymous said...

I think we need to come up with a write-in candidate for LG.

Anonymous said...

Who gives a damn? Mississippi is broke . Schools on all levels will be consolidated.

Is this news because white people in Clinton are scared of schooling with black people in Jackson?

Anonymous said...

White people in Clinton are already worried. The schools are rapidly approaching 40% black.

Even the blacks are trying to get out of South Jackson and Clinton is close.

Anonymous said...

I'm a white person in Clinton and am not "scared". It's called diversity, people, and it's one of the benefits of a good public education.

Ann Onimous said...

I'm white and in Clinton, and absolutely not worried about the racial makeup of our schools. It would be all schools merged: that includes Jackson, Clinton, and Hinds County. The administration of both JPS and Hinds County are what frighten me.

And 12:22, if you read our test results, Clinton is approaching 50%, not 40%. Does it matter? No. What matters is how our children are taught and treated during school that's important.

Kingfish said...

what would bother me is the voters of Hinds County that picked Graham, Anderson, and Smith picking the school board or the same voters that give us the jackson city council. Look how well JPS, Hinds County government, and Jackson government is managed.

Anonymous said...

Diversity is only good when it brings something positive to the table. Just yelling we need diversity does not in any way help anything. Diversity can be a valuable key in pointing things in the right direction. It can also kill productivity. Diversifying for the sake of diversity is as stupid an idea as I can think of.

Anonymous said...

Here's the lt guv race in a nutshell:

Blah, blah, blah Billy.

Blah, blah, blah Tate.

Blah, blah, blah he's a liar.

Did I miss anything? Sweet Jesus, is it Wednesday yet?

Anonymous said...

If Phil Bryant can be lt. Governor than my show goat has a good chance of running the Senate. So how did phil come from being auditor to lt. gov? Does being auditor qualify him to be governor? I would think the Treasurers office is closer to Lt. Gov than auditor. So did Phil have on the job tranning?

Stop acting like being Lt. Governor is like preforming brain surgery. Its all about relationships and the last time I checked, Billy had to make promises to get some help from his fellow senators. Shouldnt they already be helping him since he is supposedly so well liked in Jackson?

Billy's campaign has been bogus from the get go. I tried to give the guy a fair shake but no thanks. Now, on the defensive, saying the bill doesnt say what it actually says. If you wrote it, you own it. Experience does matter, but if you dont have guts, then whats the experience worth?

Now we find out his campaign manager running an illegal bingo racket and lord knows what else. Where does it end?

What else can we find in those 20000 votes? What else did he write that might throw a red flag or two up?

Anonymous said...

Seems that Billy Boy was too busy trying to "Keep it between the ditches". The meaining of the previous statement in itself explains the type of leader you will get with Little Billy. B. H. is incapable of leading anyone or the senate for that matter.
Tate Reeves was smart enough to see the true meaning of the bill that B.H. put out and I am glad he has educated the public to Little Billy's intentions.
Tate Reeves is the one.

Anonymous said...

"Beefplant" Billy

Anonymous said...

Bogus Billy, Bingo Billy, Bungled Billy....

Looks like Tate get the last laugh on this one. Billy is having to swallow his own bill. Experience does matter. Tate has 2 statewides on little Billy. Welcome to statewide Billy. Hope you had your fill.

Im going to Horne Wednesday for the day. I'm sure you'll have some "extra" time to join me. See you on the dock at 8.

Anonymous said...

Hewes invited Reeves to debate him and WLBT set a 10:30 Sunday night time up for the debate, and Reeves declined. He can't take a full debate. You can say he doesn't need it..but he can't stand alone. He's just not experienced enought and no wonder the Clarion-Ledger endorsed Hewes. Hewes is the RIGHT CHOICE!

Anonymous said...

And you know this how?

Ive heard enough. Tuesday cant get here fast enough.

The Clarion Ledger also endorsed Musgrove in 03, and Musgrove in 08. Real winners those turned out to be.

Billy is lacking press and name ID. Tate is not going to allow Billy to make news by a pointless debate.

The real question is....will Billy support Tate for Lt. Gov after Tuesday? I doubt it.

Anonymous said...

Btw, supertalk is making me gag trying to cram Beef Plant Billy down my throat. They are loosing a listener! Tate is by far the better choice. (ps Nice post, 1:01)

Anonymous said...

I will be shocked is Hewes wins. Most people in this State have never even heard of him.

Anonymous said...

The Clarion Error endorses B.H., WOW BIG DEAL. With the liberals on his team, maybe you meant he is the LEFT choice.
Tate Reeves is the one for the job.

Anonymous said...

Hewes is right on target, looking out for taxpayers and attempting to reduce the number of parasite government employees living off the dole. Apple Dumpling is just twisting facts in his desperate efforts to hang on to his government job. Taters has no business trying to run the state senate. They will run all over him. Hewes is the only choice in this one.

Anonymous said...

You know Billy cant get far north of Hattiesburg without Daddy Gallo.

Ever since 2008, Paul has been a joke. His show is nothing like it use to be. What will he say August 3rd?

Everyone needs to call in on the 3rd to thank Gallo for his efforts.

Anonymous said...

Billy had my vote until he said he wanted to get rid of the inventory tax to help "small" businesses. When I tried to figure out how he was defining "small," it became apparent to me that he really meant "all." I wonder how much Walmart is funneling into his campaign.

Anonymous said...

For years, the Billy Hewes Network (aka Supertalk) has been pushing for school consolidation. It was popular. Billy Hewes jumped on that bandwagon. And it is the right thing to do. The fact that he won't stand up for his own policy proposal is disturbing to me.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of which Gallo says"Another disturbing story in the Lt. Gov's race tomorrow morning. This one's going down to the wire."

If you're wondering what this disturbing story is, I'll cut through the Supertalk Speak for you and let you know what they're saying: Billy Hewes Good. Tate Reeves Bad.

Supertalk is terrified that Tate is going to cut their gravy train of taxpayer funds paying for commercials.

Kingfish said...

Oh, they've earned it. And don't worry, if he wins, its coming. State needs to get out of the ad business anyway and cut off Frontier Strategies while we are at it.

Supertalk has gone from being a conservative media outlet to interjecting itself into Republican party politics. The result is they have created some bad blood among those that have not been favored by that station.

Anonymous said...

2:17 - The Clarion Ledger endorsed Bryant as well. 3:29, you want to talk about "small" business, how about Howard Industries? NASCAR (LOL)? Miss whatever (LOL)?

We've learned a lot this cycle:

- Gallo is a joke & SuperTalk obviously plays political favorites, which could hurt future revenue.
- Tate simply does not have the experience
- Phil simply is not the best fit for Mississippi's Governor. Sure, he's done some good things, but seriously lacks in private sector experience. Trust me, he will "screw up" and the press will be all over it. They are anixously waiting.
- Dave Dennis is clearly the best bet for Mississippi. I bet he wouldn't show up in boots and jeans at an economic development recruiting meeting. Lot's of people thought Fordice would not get elected. Look at Alabama and Governor Bentley's successful campaign. Dave did the respectful thing in 2003, by not stepping on Haley's momentum and campaign. DO NOT underestimate the anti-Phil voters. You make a lot of enemies over the years being in an elected office for almost 20 years. Not to mention the Charlie Ross supporters and the cross party voting.

Tuesday will be gone with the wind soon. Let's move on an make some progress in our great state.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, very well stated.

Taxpayers need to wake up (sorry if I am sounding like Ron Williams), but if voters could see the large amounts of money going to the entities mentioned in your last post, they would be SHOCKED.

Will you post some financial numbers before the primary re: State funds given Frontier and SuperTalk? That could really be an eyeopener to some voters.

Anonymous said...

Trust me, he will "screw up" and the press will be all over it. They are anixously waiting.

We have a press in Mississippi? Don't think so.

Red State Woman said...

What's everybody b'tchin about?
Personal attacks are unfair and backfire with MS voters.
However, A politician's voting record is fair game.
Why shouldn't the Reeves expose Hewes for trying to pass legislation consolidate school districts county by county.
I don't think that would be a smart thing to do here in Madison.
Seems pretty simple, plus I'm tired of listening to the Hewes campaign whine, so I'm voting for T Reeves on Tuesday.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to vote for Billy Hewes on Tuesday. Tate completely lost my vote at the Neshoba County Fair when he slouched there with his crotch on display. Red-faced, pissed-off and arrogant. No thanks. We don't need that kind of attitude and it's not going to move this state forward.

Anonymous said...

Hewes bill would help taxpayers.
People come on here and rip him for trying to get more for our tax money.
I guess butterball would not try to stop the waste and, therefore, we should get in line to vote for him.
I want somebody elected who will do something about Mississippi's bloated government. Hewes is trying to do that and catching hell for it.
Reeves is one of those typical old time Mississippi politicians, pointing fingers at Washington when the real problems are this state's bloated government.
Somebody tries to streamline the schools, and the representatives of the old school tear them up.
If Hewes will try to eradicate the insane duplication in school administration, why isn't everybody cheering him on?

Anonymous said...

So, you want Hewes to consolidate school districts, cut employees, and consolidate state government, and cut employees.

So who do you think will pay for the unemployment, medicaid and food stamps for these people, or pay their mortgages or foreclosure costs, or pay for their children's education?

Anonymous said...

@5:15 So you're saying that we should continue on with government as the major source of jobs? We shouldn't cut the fat in government? Do I need to remind you there is not a Democrat running in this race?

Hewes has the balls to stand in there and say what he wants to do! Tater's too scared he'll lose a vote if he tells people what he wants to do. Either that or he doesn't have a clue. He's either a Chickens*#t or a know-nothing.

The man who tells it like it is gets my vote. Hewes!

Kingfish said...

and Gallo replays the Aultman interviews. Surprise.

Anonymous said...

Down here on the coast, we all know Billy is dead in the water.

I am embarrassed to be apart of this "republican circle" and embarrassed Billy has allowed his campaign to stoop to lows I never knew existed in Republican politics. I've known them for years being apart of Hancock Bank. The 7th floor walls are thin and I am tired of working hard for Billy while he continues running a sleazy campaign. I am embarrassed for me and the Billy circle that wants to win on scandalous accusations and immoral scare tactics. The things they want whispered are awful. I've listened to whisper this and whisper that since day one. It makes me sick and I'm tired of it. Promises and rumors are the only things keeping his campaign's heart ticking.

Taking another position in October, with another company gives me confidence to write this. I am tired Billy and you and Morgan deserve a loss tomorrow. Shame on both of you.

Anonymous said...

... and Gallo replays the Aultman interviews. Surprise.

Why are you so worked up about Supertalk? The burr in your saddle is obviously more than a philosophical disagreement about state ad spending. They play favorites. BFD.

Kingfish said...

Maybe I have a problem with a radio station trying to live off the rest of us and blatantly interfering in interparty politics. I mean as conservatives if we want to cut funding for public radio then let's be consistent.

Anonymous said...

Then you support cutting off state ad spending for EVERY single radio station in Mississippi. Right?

Kingfish said...

For the most part, yup. Let me see, dumping money on radio stations when I can't use a copier at the archives building because they couldn't afford maintenance contracts or seeing downs syndrome kids kicked off the Medicaid rolls.

Anonymous said...

So you think the problems you note would all get solved if the state eliminated advertising on Mississippi radio stations? I doubt you are that naive.

How about state ad spending with for-profit newspapers? Outside of legal notices how about cutting those expenditures also. They play favorites too.

Anonymous said...

"@5:15 So you're saying that we should continue on with government as the major source of jobs? We shouldn't cut the fat in government? Do I need to remind you there is not a Democrat running in this race?"

I'm saying you can pay them to work now and pay their taxes, or pay for them when they apply for every program out there when they can't find a job, and pay no taxes at all. You cut their job, they stop shopping, stop going out to eat, don't buy new cars, take kids out of day care, and the domino effect begins.

Anonymous said...

Now we're clear. Vote for Reeves because he will use tax money to provide employment for unneeded bureaucrats. He will actively oppose any attempt to reduce the waste in state government. Go TATE.

Anonymous said...

Paul Galtelli is a joke. It's hard to take the man seriously as a political analyst when he lies to the public, telling everyone his name is "Paul Gallo."

KF hit the nail on the head when he spoke of Galtelli injecting himself into primary politics. Galtelli's ego is so big that he thinks he's that big of a player in Republican politics; that there will be no backlash. I hope Galtelli remembers the hit job he did on Charlie Ross. If not, he's about to be reminded of it.

Paul Galtelli sees the writing on the wall. SuperTalk's days of sucking the taxpayers' tit are over. It's been fun Galtelli, see ya.

Anonymous said...

Galtelli or Gallo ain't going anywhere nor is the Supertalk network. If elected Reeves needs them more than they need govt dinero or his cheeseburgers. But Reeves' election don't matter anyway because the peeps spending the green w/ Supertalk is the Exec branch. Bryant won't be cutting them off regardless what TaterPizza wants.

Anonymous said...

@ 5:15; failing to trim unnecessary jobs from state government, because the employees pay taxes back to the state, is pretty circular logic. They are paid by the state WITH TAX DOLLARS. And if you're correct, (we should keep people employed in positions that aren't needed as a form of stimulus) we could cure our current problems by simply doubling the number of people employed in state government, regardless of need.

If their position is obsolete, and you don't want to fire them, then re-train them for something else. It's better than letting them sit around all day, not living up to their potential for contributing to society and just being a drain on taxpayers.

Or just fire them. That's what would happen to the rest of us if we weren't carrying our weight. But paying people to do nothing all day, or do jobs which aren't necessary, is stupid.

The idea of a government job as a form of welfare is a bad idea, and part of the reason we have the government we now have. I know state employees that are highly skilled, highly motivated and hard working. They get paid the same as the lazy a*hole in the office next to them, that everyone is afraid to fire. (and they both have better benefits and retirement than the rest of us) Fire the lazy, and pay the good ones a competitive salary. Having bloated government isn't the answer for offering crappy public education.

Anonymous said...

Hey check out the latest post of Walking Small addressing the Neshoba County fair. As he struggles to see over the podium, he compares himself to Cochran and Lott, then spends 10 minutes attacking Tate Reeves.

Angry, combative, hostile little man.

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel


Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS