Monday, October 26, 2020

Mississippi Wildlife Federation Accuse MDWFP Director & Ag Commish of Poaching Extravaganza

 The Mississippi Widlife Federation issued the following statement.

Today, the Mississippi Wildlife Federation (“MWF”) filed suit seeking damages and  injunctive  relief  against  multiple  individuals  and  entities  for  unconstitutional  retaliation against MWF for exercising its First Amendment right to political speech. The suit, which outlines a  conspiracy  to  achieve  the  unconstitutional  takeover  of  MWF’s  annual  trademarked  Wildlife Extravaganza, and the denial of MWF’s access to public lands - paid for with
taxpayer funding - for scheduled events, was filed in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Mississippi.

Monetary and injunctive relief is being sought against: Sam Polles (individually and for injunctive relief  in  his  official  capacity  as  Executive  Director  of  the  Mississippi  Department  of  Wildlife, Fisheries & Parks), Andy Gipson (individually and for injunctive relief in his official capacity as Executive  Director/Chairman  of  the  Mississippi  State  Fair  Commission),  Steve  Hutton  (former Executive Director of the State Fair Commission), Don Brazil, Jack Fisher, and the Foundation for Mississippi Wildlife, Fisheries, & Parks.

For 33 years, MWF has held its Extravaganza annually at the Mississippi Trade Mart during the first weekend of August as the unofficial kick-off to hunting season. The Extravaganza has been one of the organization’s largest sources of funding since MWF’s inception.  However, based on its  past  stance  in  opposition  to  the  Yazoo  Pumps  Project  in  the  midst  of  2019’s  catastrophic flooding in the Mississippi Delta and the mistaken perception that MWF denied a booth to the #FinishthePumps  coalition,  its  long-standing  lease  for  the  Trade  Mart  was  taken  away  
and measures were put in place by state officials to ensure the MWF would not be able to hold its Extravaganza or other signature events again.

As outlined in the 44-page Complaint and accompanying documents obtained by public records  requests, Defendants, through a series of secret meetings and calls held almost immediately after the 2019 Extravaganza, met and conspired to, and in fact, terminated MWF’s valid lease for the Trade  Mart;  awarded  the  lease  to  Defendant  Foundation,  a  private  organization  that  directly supports the Mississippi Department of Wildlife, under a new sham policy for facility rental with plans to host a competing wildlife and outdoor event that would piggyback and capitalize on the Federation’s longstanding show; added language to state lease agreements that would prevent the Federation from hosting a similar show; pulled funding, support, and donations to MWF; and denied  MWF  access  to  state-run  and  taxpayer  funded  properties  for  conducting  its  signature events.  In addition, the Defendants conspired to contract with Extravaganza vendors to interfere with MWF’s business relationships, entice the vendors to join the Foundation’s new event, and damage MWF’s reputation. The complaint seeks monetary damages and injunctive relief.

The   MWF’s   stance   on   the   Yazoo   Pumps   Project,   as   well   as   its   position   on   any   other environmental,  conservation  and  regulatory  flood  control  issues,  is  constitutionally  protected free speech. Any attempt by government officials and co-conspirators to interfere with, prohibit and take over MWF’s private enterprise in retaliation for MWF’s stance on such matters of public concern  is  a  violation  of  MWF’s  First  Amendment  rights  and  an  unlawful  interference  with contractual and business relationships.

“It is unfortunate that we have had to resort to litigation to address this situation,” says Ashlee Ellis Smith, MWF CEO.  “But, individuals should not be able to abuse the governmental authority they have been given to punish private organizations, nor should they be able to prevent those organizations from exercising their First Amendment rights, especially when those individuals are motivated by politics and monetary gain. We are bringing this suit in the hopes that it will prevent the same or similar behavior toward ours and other private entities going forward.”

###


The Mississippi Wildlife Federation was established in 1946 by a small group of sportsmen who  believed that citizens could influence how our lands, wildlife, coasts, and rivers are managed. Today, the MWF is the largest network of conservationists in the state. We are comprised of individuals, businesses, and organizations committed to natural resource conservation, environmental quality, hunting, fishing, and other outdoor recreation in Mississippi. We are a
citizen’s organization, not a state or federal agency. MWF’s mission is to conserve Mississippi’s natural resources and protect our wildlife legacy.

 

Kingfish note: Let's dig through this lawsuit a little. 

The controversy began a few weeks before the 2019 Mississippi Wildlife Federation Extravaganza. The event  was first held in 1986 and is popular among hunters and fishermen in Mississippi. It is as popular among them as Mistletoe is among Jackson socialites.  

Victoria Darden claimed on social media she was denied exhibit space because of her support for the pumps.  Her allegations went viral and the boycott was on.  One vendor after another announced it was pulling out of the Extravaganza.  However, the Federation claims her claims were not true.  The Federation opposed the project in the past but relented on July 24, 2019 when it said it would support the pumps if it didn't eliminate or degrade the wetlands. It was willing to participate in meetings to improve flood control in the Mississippi Delta.  The Federation charged Ms. Darden didn't exactly tell the whole story (p.10): 

 26. Less than two weeks before the 2019 Extravaganza, a Mississippi resident named Victoria Darden   applied  for  a  booth  at  the  event.   Ms.  Darden  initially  represented  herself  as  a photography  vendor  from  New  Orleans,  but  when  asked  to  submit  the  required  vendor information,  she revealed  that her purpose  was to secure a booth in order to promote the Finish the Pumps  organization.    It  was further  revealed  that  Ms.  Darden  and  Finish the Pumps wished to coordinate a protest during the Extravaganza event.


27. Because Ms. Darden's application was submitted so close to the event weekend, there was a waiting list for booth space at the event.   Ms. Darden was informed she would be placed on a waiting list; however, in an effort to accommodate Ms. Darden, the Federation began reaching out to other vendors to locate one that would be willing to share their booth space with  the  Finish  the  Pumps  coalition  during  the  Extravaganza.    After  a  few  days,  the Federation   learned   that   Mississippi   Ag  Equipment   Company,   a  John   Deere  tractor  dealership  in Rolling Fork Mississippi,  agreed to give a portion of its booth space to Ms.  Darden.    Ms. Darden and members of the Finish the Pumps organization did in fact attend the 2019 Extravaganza and their presence was peaceful.

The controversy was heavily covered by the media.  Support for the Extravaganza shriveled and attendance was at a record low. The Federation accuses MDWFP Executive Director Sam Polles of moving quickly to take advantage of the Federation's misfortune to seize the Extravaganza for his agency.  

The Federation claims Mr. Polles told it to change its position on the pumps and distance itself from the National Wildlife Federation.  NWF opposed the pumps.  MDWFP withdrew from the event and "the dam broke" as vendors followed the agency's withdrawal.  The event still made a small profit and the Federation booked the event for the same weekend in 2020 as was the normal practice for over thirty years. 

The complaint claims Commissioner Gipson,  Director Polles, and  Brazil held a meeting at the Department of Agriculture & Commerce on August 12, 2019.  MDAC staff, promoters, and other people were present.  No notice was given for the meeting.  The Federation claims the meeting violated the Open Meetings Act.  

Commissioner Gipson allegedly said the Federation's contract could be "challenged."  Promoters said they could immediately write a check to reserve the Trade Mart for the first weekend in August.  The promoters said they would give the money profits to five non-profit wildlife conservation organizations. (p.17-18)  However, Director Polles had other ideas: 

Defendant  Polles gave this suggestion  an adamant "No!" and stated that any extra money would be going to the Foundation, because, as Polles stated  and believed, the suggested nonprofits already received more money from the Mississippi  Department   of Wildlife  than they deserved.    When asked  whether Polles wanted  the promoters  to  give the  Foundation  the  whole $50,000  from the gate proceeds rather than all the other suggested conservation groups, Polles replied, "Yes."


5. Polles,  using  the terms "my" and "mine" as well  as "I"  and "we" when  referring  to the Foundation,  stated  that  a percentage  of the  profits  of  the  Extravaganza  needed  to  go  to support  the Foundation,  and that the promoters  needed  to decide how much  money they would  be  willing  to  give  to  the  Foundation,  in  terms  of  a  percentage  in  the  event  the promoters  were  allowed  to  have  the  lease.     When  questioned  regarding  the  type  of
arrangement Polles and the Foundation wanted, Polles stated that the promoters must give the  Foundation  a percentage  or they  would  not  be awarded the opportunity  to put on the new show.

While discussing the logistics of the show, one of the promoters listed several reasons why the  Federation  has  been  successful   in  putting  on  the  Extravaganza  for  many  years, including  the  huge  volunteer  base  that  always  came  to  work  the  past  Extravaganzas. Polles  responded  that  he  had  hundreds  of  employees  on  his  payroll  as  well  as  armed security  officers  (e.g.,  game  wardens)  to  handle  the doors,  and  that "his  people"  would work the show and do anything he told them to....

 Everyone  present at the August 12, 2019 meeting  was warned several  times that none of what was taking place at the meeting could be leaked to the press or anyone else.
Not everyone was crazy about the new direction for the Extravaganza.  One promoter allegedly called Brazil to voice his concerns only to be told that if the promoters paid enough money, they would get the new show.  

Another meeting was held on August 16.  Director Polles announced the Foundation "secured the show."  Then-Fair Commission Executive Director Steve Hutton said the new Extravaganza should pay protection fee of at least 30% to the Commission.    The Group (Gipson, Polles, Hutton, and Brazil) eventually decided not to use promoters and instead hired Jack Fisher.  

The skirmishing continued.  The Foundation and Fair Commission signed three contracts for the use of the State Fairgrounds from July 31 to August 2, 2020.  The contract stated the Commission would not "rent said facility to any other group promoting a similar show 45 days prior to event, or 30 days after."  The complaint states no similar contract ever contained such language.  The Federation accused the defendants of using this language to keep the Federation from hosting another show near it's traditional August weekend.  The complaint states the Trade Mart is the only facility in Central Mississippi that is large enough to host the Extravaganza.  Pimp Daddy Hutton informed the Federation the facilities were rented out to the Foundation for the traditional dates for the Extravaganza.  

The complaint charges the defendants with one count of Section 1983 First Amendment Retaliation, Section 1983 conspiracy, tortious interference with contract, tortious interference with business relations, and civil conspiracy.  The Federation asks the Court to order the Fair Commission to allow the Federation to use the Trade Mart during the "blackout dates."   The Federation seeks compensatory and punitive damages. 

The case is assigned to U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate. Attorneys Victor Welsh, III and Ann Chandler represent the Federation.

The complaint is posted below.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Polles is another Bill Walker.Cant wait to here All Hat Gibson’s deposition. Hope he lies under oath.

Anonymous said...

There is Nothing better than a Country Boy Catfight.

Anonymous said...

Steve Hutton’s name popped up again. Was he in charge of the entertainment procurement ??????

Anonymous said...

The Ag Commish is a media ham. He has been on TV more than the last 4-5 combined. It's gonna bite him in the buttocks one of these days.

Went to the Extravaganza one time. It was so crowded you couldn't get close to anything. I asked for my money back and got it.

Anonymous said...

One set of rich folks pretending to be country and "for the people," suing another set of rich folks pretending to be country and "for the people."

One group is among the richest of Mississippians, who have used GubMint for their self interest for 80 years, reaping tax cuts, Ag subsidies, timber welfare, and so on. The other is the same class, wealthy planters, who've reaped Big GubMint Farm Welfare, and created farmland out of swamp at taxpayer expense. The "pump" area was created by GubMint Farm Welfare, is maintained by GubMint subsidy, and now they want more money to maintain the Swamp. Literally a DC Created Swamp. Which makes their 3rd generation of swamp farmers rich, too.

Cry me a river, Richer Hicks folks.

I got sick of the Extravaganza when it became about rich boys getting richer, and not about hunting. It deserves to pass on.

Love to see the Rich bleating that their corporation's "free speech" has been abridged by the Big Ole Bad Ole GubMint that sends them checks, rain or shine, feast or famine, flood or drought, or even in the best of years.

Whining from the Heads We Win Tails You Lose "Country" Club set.

Anonymous said...

Go look at the farm subsidies database. It’s staggering how much some of these people get. Also interesting at how many people take farm subsidies that have never put a key in a tractor.

Anonymous said...

@928- You obviously don't know Jack about MWF and the extravaganza if you think they are RICH country clubers. There are more than 100 volunteers that have put on the show for decades and I doubt if you can find 2 that are members of a country club.You must have the MDWFP Foundation mixed up with MWF.

Anonymous said...

If someone built several streets around your home put promised and paid for the water the collects in the "bowl" to be built and never were, would you be upset or just cut your losses and move on?

Anonymous said...

I bet the MDWFP Foundation board members had NO idea what Brazil and Polles were doing. If they had, my guess is they wouldn't have let such an idiotic scheme potentially affect their "pay to play" support of the agency. Now all eyes are on them!

Anonymous said...

10:18 - there are abuses of farm subsidies just like all government programs. But if it were not for them you'd be paying $10 for a gallon of milk instead of $3.00 and $8.00 for a loaf of bread instead of $2.50.

Anonymous said...

11:36, MWF officers or influencers have included William VanDevender, who is one of the richest men in the state, off Timber (hey, I got a deal for you, psssst, said the wannabe timber barons, the rich laugh). Just for starts. Good Lord, look at the lists and run those names. The "first name" is usually "Dr."

VanDevender rented a 24 MILLION DOLLAR M.V. ESTATE, to OBAMA. For summer vacation. Think about that. Mr. GOP rents an estate, apparently a spare one, to the DEM POTUS, a hardcore liberal. But, they ain't all "rich," eh?

Just starting there, before delving into the millionaires on the board and in their presidency, past and present, are you REALLY trying to pretend that a 100 useful middle class "volunteers" offset the wealth of the MWF ruling class there??? Just, laughable, son. Just, absurd. The officers could PAY folks a high wage to work it. They DON'T, just like their Mexican farmhands aren't highly paid. The rich are just "bundlers" for volunteers like they are for both Establishment parties in the Swamp.

Just ROFL.

And, do we want to track the MDWFP Foundation "influencers" and their Big Ag connections? Want to put some of their names out there and link their Farm Corporations, landowner group connections, club memberships, fraternities, beach houses, properties, and the EWG subsidy database and try to assert THEY are not as rich???

Those Delta Landowners, high fence hunters, frat boys, knee deep in the Farm Subsidy Database, just for fun.

Here's a suggestion, take the name of just ONE pump complainant, say, and look up Farm Subsidies. Look up the name of ONE complainant to the New York Times, and run that family name.

Results come back with, just a single name, up to 180,000,000 dollars for up to TEN Farm Corporations in Government subsidies, over time.

The ones hollering on both sides get 1 or 5 or 10 million dollars a year in GubMint Farm or Timber Welfare, or tax credits, or tax expenditures. Every year. Socialism for the Already Rich. You can't lose.

Tell me THEY aren't rich, and I might bust a stitch laughing at that.

Anonymous said...

@12:52
You seem to have some kind of dull axe to grind.
For the rest of y’all ignoring that blather-

Imagine you’re asked to volunteer and serve on a nonprofit’s board of directors . And that nonprofit hosts an event annually that a lot of folks enjoy. And someone decides that all of those people that put on that show are bad, and dox and harass the board members and few paid employees of that nonprofit. And an orchestrated effort is made by those in political positions to intimidate vendors, sponsors, and volunteers in order to destroy that event and take it over for their benefit.
Would that be wrong?
I was one of those longtime volunteers, and my name doesn’t start with a Dr., by the way.

Anonymous said...

I think the allegation of "Polles, using the terms 'my' and 'mine'" pretty well sums up the general attitude at MDWFP.

Anonymous said...

Looks like old White Hat Andy and the Wildlife Boss Hogg are fixing to cause a fairgrounds rumble at the Mississippi taxpayers expense. Sure they’ll get a photo op in there somewhere.

Anonymous said...

I don't really care who wins this legal fight.
But I do miss the Wildlife Extravaganza.

One year . . . I had the pleasure of casting a line into the (double wide) sized aquarium.

A big ass catfish actually swallowed my bait, then "spit it out".

However, I still had fun that afternoon.

Anonymous said...

12:52 - you seem to have MWF confused with Wildlife Mississippi. Billy Vandevender was president of Wildlife Mississippi's board. Look it up. He has never been a board member or past president for MWF according to their website. Two totally different groups with different objectives. Wildlife MS buys land and holds easement, MWF does not. MWF was known as the "liberal" group which is probably why Crazy Andy went after them, and Wildlife Mississippi the (rich) republican group. - Posting as an NGO staffer who has worked with all the groups. As always there are good and bad people in all of these places.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of being doxxed, after VanDevender sent that letter to Washington, the people of the South Delta Spoke and boycotted his wife's Onward Store. Sure, it may not hurt them, and it was probably losing money as is, but the people spoke. Just like the people spoke on the extravaganza.

KF, didn't post my earlier comment, but the MDWFP is all about money, land deals, and more money. They have bought some prime pieces of property yet some aren't able to hunt it. Suspiciously a piece of land they had their eyes on for years and couldn't make a deal, finally closed after the MDWFP shot hundreds of deer in the name of CWD testing and back to back flooding decimated the population in the area. The deer will be back, and the land prices will come back up. Conveniently they were down when they bought the land.

Anonymous said...

12:52, high fence hunters? You mean like the tractor dealer who sat on the commission and pushed high fences and feeding down our throats who also owns a high fence operation?

Anonymous said...

"Small Government" Republicans at work, stealing the hard work of the MWF.

Phil's Annual Quail Slaughter said...

Both are political organizations. The only difference is the MDWFP controls a thousand nice jobs with good retirement. The MWF is simply a wannabe force in gaming and wishes it had control of rules and laws.

Neither has done jack-shit for Delta Flooding which ought to be a priority. One of them (guess which) is all about power, politics, rewarding cronies, hosting the politically powerful and naming sections of land after outgoing governors and their own leadership.

Both ought to be abolished and MDWFP rolled into some other agency as they're way too big for their (camo) britches.

Anonymous said...

9:27 - This ain't got shit to do with the Ag Commissioner.

Anonymous said...

@2:05–Most of the defendants are being sued individually and will have to bear the cost themselves . Hope WHA and WBH have some money saved up.I wonder if the Foundation will pay for Brazil’s legal fees or throw him under the bus to protect their image.
@12:52 -Most of the present and past directors that had Dr. as their first name are wildlife biologist And scientists. Mr. Van Devender has never been in any leadership position with MWF—so go back to practicing your quick draw and quit babbling about something you don't know about.

Anonymous said...

"build the pumps" is one of the oldest jokes in Mississippi going back to FDR days. They will never be built. The government could buy out every property in 3 counties for less than the cost of the pumps.

Anonymous said...

The MWF is who initially put the money up for and brokered the purchase of all the Anderson Tully land along with MDWFP. That purchase is now an enlarged Mahanna Management Area and The Phil Bryant Management Area. Anderson Tully had changed hands a couple times before that deal was done.

Anonymous said...

@4:28
Isn’t the Ag Commissioner Andy Gipson named in the lawsuit?

Anonymous said...

Managing
Deer and
Wetlands
For the
Politically-connected

Anonymous said...

2:58, no one said Vandevender was President of MWF. It said he was an influencer. He wrote a letter supporting MWF's position to the River Commission. It's documented. That's his right.

Yes, he's served as an officer with Wildlife Mississippi, but that's not part of this kindergarten catfight.

And on top of that, he's a pure political both sides against the middle type- he's recently contributed to MWFP Foundation as well. Per their 2019 family foundation 990.

Butters both sides, I guess.

As has been said, the issue to most of us is that this is just one group of rich guys fighting over an event on public property, at taxpayer expense. MWF folks take it personally, apparently, to a somewhat disturbing degree.

He's a Tater financier and GOP Establishment guy. He's opposed the Pumps, and then, he'll probably be for them, depending on which way the political wind blows. Just like renting to Obama. A weathervane of politics.

These "federations" and Foundations exist for bored trophy wives, frat boys, and rich guys interested in more tax breaks and GubMint checks. When, they don't really need them.

That's what makes the middle class puke.

Anonymous said...

I quit goin after they stopped giving out free dip. Just a buncha expensive vest wearers

Anonymous said...

@7;00pm—TNC ,The Nature Conservancy help broker the deal on the Phil Bryant Management Area not MWF. So much misinformation on this particular blog.Why don't you and some of these others that cant get their facts straight do a little research before popping off. Maybe you knew the answer all along and you are part of another misinformation campaign. Regardless Federal Judges don't make their decisions based on erroneous blog comments.

Anonymous said...

Yazoo Pumps explained: The wealthy Delta farmers want the rest of the US to pay for a giant pumping station to enable them to plant more beans and cotton.

I guess the deer hunters who have hunting camps that flood are also supporting the push.

Anonymous said...

8:03. You summed it up in one sentence. When you decide to clear and farm land that has a history of flooding you should know the odds.

Jon Dear said...

Are we overlooking the fact that Vandevender, the chief opponent of the Delta Pump Project, was Tater's primary campaign donations guru during Tater's recent and prior campaigns.

His wife, a former Miss Mississippi, owned Onward Store (Teddy Roosevelt) but closed it a week after Vandevender's now famous letters to every government official - the letters opposing the pumps. He's wealthy in his own right and wants to make a duck hunting mecca out of the Delta. He was Archie's roommate at Ole Miss. He's got more money at hand than all Delta farmers combined.

Farmers don't have time to attend a Wildlife Expo. They're working.

Anonymous said...

I know for a fact how corrupt the MSDWP & state politicians are in the capital area. My company was blocked year after year from having a spring outdoor show in March. 5-6 years we tried to rent the trademart and coliseum and were told every time it’s booked. We had a customer reach out to then Guv Phil Bryant to help. Bryant called me and loved the idea he said. He then sent Glen McCollough to call me which he did. He liked the idea. He then put Craig Ray-Executive Director of Tourism in charge. Ray attended our event with another and loved it.

All this time there fairgrounds website calendar showed the venue was available by the way.

After several follow up phone calls I met with Craig at a distinguished local restaurant for lunch. The meeting was scheduled for 11:15 am. After an hour and 15 minutes later and several phone calls he shows up. This is a Friday and he’s was wearing a MS Department if Tourism logo shirt. He was pilled out and drunk. He ordered two Chardonnay’s on my dime!

Now this is where he starts by saying he’s the best fundraiser in the state and he can get me what I desire. I had no idea what he was talking about. Some tell me that’s code for kickbacks. We concluded the meeting and next step was for me & one of the above mentioned promoters to meet them for a meeting in which we would be sitting with the Guv to finalize paperwork to rent the venue for a spring event.

Meeting day: No Guv. CR and the same other guy that came to our venue walk in and from lett field CR states how can I help you boys. It was like he had amnesia. I was floored with disbelief as to why he was acting this way. We leave with no clear understanding of what just happened.

Over the next couple days we made phone calls to him and he said Jamie Laird over the fairgrounds who is in charge of renting the facility said no availability. This was the same individual that had blocked me for years. I pushed back and asked CR to call then MS AG Commissioner CHS to see what’s the issue cause calendar and common knowledge says the venue isn’t rented. He calls back and says CHS called Jamie and he says it’s full and that’s it.

So after voicing my concerns and talking to key individuals I find out that we have been and would continue to be blocked. I suspect and was told that Polles was getting to the fairgrounds folks and to the Guv to block us from having an event. Using the good ol boy network to further his agenda. Question is why? It’s discrimination all the way around no matter how you slice it. And now this. I say good for MWF and I hope Karma gets all these bad apples out of the basket for good. We shouldn’t have this type of cronyism in our beloved state.

The fine folks that work under Polles at MSDWP deserve a better ethical person to led them in the future. Did y’all know Polles is the only state Executive Director that’s not an “AT Will” position appointed by the Governor? He’s the most corrupt individual in the state!

Anonymous said...

Vandevender is also a land baron & in the timber business and bought the old mill recently. Continued prolonged flooding like we have see will kill the big oaks in that part of the delta. Delta National, Delta Wildlife, Panther Swamp and other large tracts of hardwoods will eventually die and need to be cut to salvage some value off the land and then the land will be up for sale for pennies on the dollar with people tired of it. Mighty convenient.

Anonymous said...

I fail to understand what Billy Vandevender has to do with this story at all. He has nothing to do with MWF, or Gipson or Polles as far as I can tell. Someone on this thread sure seems to have it out for him! Maybe that needs it’s own story.

Anonymous said...

10/28 @ 10:48 - You obviously never took 'Dot Connecting 101'. Therein lies the root of your ignorance.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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