Thursday, January 2, 2020

Palisades FOOD FIGHT!!!

The food fight in the Palisades continues.  What began as the shocking disclosure of Ridgway Lane embezzlement has turned into a full scale civil war.  A group of homeowners claimed the Lane embezzlement occurred because the Board was derelict in its duty to monitor HOA accounts.  Flyers were circulated among the neighborhood.  However, the HOA Board fought back with it's own email.



The first two pages are a reminder about upcoming HOA elections and other business.




However, the board didn't stop with the notice but included a rebuttal to an anonymous flyer circulated through the neighborhood.





55 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! This ought to be good. Getting my popcorn ready . . .

Anonymous said...

Karen at it again.

Anonymous said...

11:44 I was thinking the exact same thing.

Anonymous said...

The board refuses to acknowledge that the majority of the neighborhood doesn’t want them any longer. “The resistance” is 130+ strong. It’s a new day in palisades. There are 7 qualified, competent people ready to step up.

Anonymous said...

Curious if all of this circus and collateral fighting helps the home values of these neighborhoods....

Come on, Karen!!!

Anonymous said...

White folks problems

They got the Copper said...

Proxy Votes. Easiest and best way to destroy an organization. Last month I attended an "Emergency HOA Meeting" as the Executor of a deceased homeowner of a very small Ridgeland neighborhood on the order of 40 or so residents, where apparently they were also cheated by the Lanes. About 15 homeowners showed up, and the past president that called the meeting was soon BLASTED by one of the homeowners in front of the others. Never in my life have I seen women cuss worse than sailors in accusations. It was epic! About half those in attendance walked out of the meeting. And now I'm notified that the next meeting is next week. Should be a "Tables Ladders and Chairs Match". It's gonna be great!

Anonymous said...

"A group of homeowners accused the HOA board of being responsible for the disappareance of hundreds of thousands of dollars of their assessments."

As a Palisades resident, I want to point out that this is NOT an accurate representation at all. It's nothing more than an incendiary headline. Only slightly worse than labeling this post as a "food fight".

The majority of residents in Palisades want some changes, including a new board. The group of homeowners did not ever, in any way, EVER accuse the existing board of being "responsible" for the financial loss. There were certainly concerns that the current board should have provided better oversight of Ridgeway Lane, but that is a far cry from "accusing" the board of being responsible for the loss. I suspect there a few residents that would make this accusation, but those do not reflect the large group of residents that are asking for significant change. No more than a few far-right or far-left Americans represent the views of the majority of our nation.

So please stop with the attention-grabbing headlines and stick to the facts ... if you know them.

Anonymous said...

Bridgewater I special meeting Monday night 5:30 at the clubhouse on Bridgewater Crossing/Bridgeview Circle. Meeting signs are up at the exits of the nighborhood. Should be interesting. The treasurer will be the only one who will still hold a board position at the close of this meeting.

Anonymous said...

It gives a strong appearance that the current board wants to stay in place for fear of what a new board will discover.

Anonymous said...

All of this retardedness in the name of “property values.” You know what’s more valuable? Freedom from Karen.

When Is Hillary Going to Prison? said...

The rebuttal to the outsourcing the financial responsibilities is VERY WEAK.

Anonymous said...

12:50
Sell tickets for a cage match.

Kingfish said...

Read it now.

Anonymous said...

12:38 so funny. Better than the alternative.

Anonymous said...

If the embezzlement happened on this board's watch then they are guilty of a lack of oversight, I just don't see how any other conclusion can be reached. Handing actual day-to-day responsibilities over to company hired to take care of it still requires monitoring and audit...if something like this happened while working for a private company do you think they'd still be employed there?

Anonymous said...

Who is Karen?

Anonymous said...

Has anyone heard from either of the Lanes or Ridgeway? They all split to some island nation where they cant be extradited from? Anyone seen any kind of apology? If I were in either one of these neighborhoods with money gone and see them out, they would probably catch a good public shaming or at worst catch these hands. What a bunch of lowlifes.

Anonymous said...

2:48 you do realize that this is NOT a paying position right? Whereas you earn a paycheck with a private company? All of these people volunteering their time for the neighborhood even with full-time jobs and other family obligations? Can we at least appreciate their effort?

Kingfish said...

Your worst nightmare

Anonymous said...

3:05 - Responsibilities accompany both paid and volunteer positions.

Anonymous said...

@3:05-

Yes. It’s an unpaid volunteer position. And there are PLENTY of people who have attempted to volunteer even before this ridgeway lane mess but the old board rules with an iron fist and refuses to let anyone else help.

The palisades bylaws have been amended and the board has way too much unchecked power. They can levy fines at whatever they deem appropriate with no cap, no set schedule of fines. They can exclude unmarried romantic partners from living in the neighborhood. Trust that the need for new leadership goes way beyond the board being asleep at the wheel during the embezzlement.

Residents have wanted change for a while. The David lane issue was just the breaking point.

Anonymous said...

2:48 - keep in mind that the board is not "employed" there. they are volunteers. They likely do a good job. They hired what they believed to be a reputable management company. However, an independent auditor should have also been hired each year to audit the books.

Anonymous said...

3:05 one would question just exactly how much volunteered time it takes to pass off basically all of the neighborhood issues that need to be managed to an outside company. also, how much time did it take to notice misappropriation of funds to the tune of $80,000+, I guess about the same amount of time it takes to pay someone to spray paint a decorative sleigh for $400? Or cut down perfectly healthy trees for inflated prices? Just the line by line expenditures on the Palisades website are alarming . Exactly how much “volunteering” are we supposed to be appreciating? How about complete transparency, non volatile HOA meetings where neighbors could actually speak or contribute, and a little respect for these families that were wronged under their leadership instead of putting an embarrassingly immature rebuttal letter in mailboxes.

Anonymous said...

12:38pm wrote “White folks problems”

I know you were just trying to be funny, but you’re a lot more right than I’m sure you know. HOAs were originally created to legally exclude the less affluent/undesirables (minorities). They really ramped up in the U.S. after legal segregation was outlawed, under the guise of “maintaining property values.” They still exclude minorities to an extent today, at least the poor ones, but they are more now just breeding grounds for powertrippin’ Karens with nothing else to do besides drive around the neighborhood making sure your flowers are the right color. Just try to stay under the radar and don’t draw Karen’s ire. She’ll fine you into oblivion for not asking permission to plant those bushes and then foreclose on your house. You could always hire counsel and fight her, but what the hell does she care, she’s spending your HOA money on the legal fees, while you’re spending your own. And when you lose, you’ll be paying for both lawyers.

Murica, giving up all your property freedoms to hopefully not live with/by certain people.

http://www.thehoaprimer.org/

Anonymous said...

Again, imagine being a free, adult male with adequate testosterone levels and paying the Ned Flanders mafia a fee to live in a home you purchased with your own money. The absolute state of things.

Kingfish said...

BS. HOA's have their place but like anything else, can be abused.

There is a place where there are few, if any, HOA's, Jackson. Compare Jackson neighborhoods to the burbs. The neighborhoods look trashier, rentals run amuck with little regulation, destroying neighborhoods, front yards filled with vehicles and other crap. That house on the SW corner of Northside and Old Canton Road wouldn't look as bad as it has all year if it was under an HOA.

Making public records laws applicable to HOA's for the members would help fix some of the abuses such as what took place in NTV. By that I mean the members, not the general public, should be able to request copies of by laws, covenants, and other financial HOA documents and only have to pay a copying fee. What the NTV leadership would do is withhold those basic documents from members or say the requesting member would have to be several hundred dollars for an attorney to review the request.

Anonymous said...

@3:24 PM - how do they exclude unmarried couples? Do they require copies of marriage licenses for all residents?

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, you really think HOAs would fix or have prevented the blight you speak of in Jackson? lol

Anonymous said...

@5:38 that’s a good question. It’s in the amended bylaws they changed without notifying the neighborhood. They can fine you whatever they deem appropriate until you prove you’re married, I suppose. Not sure if it’s ever been enforced but the fact they would even attempt to regulate something like that is absurd.

They amend the bylaws to target individuals they dislike. It’s a power trip that’s gotten out of control.

Anonymous said...

2:48 here...I understand it's a volunteer position, but if you don't have the time or incentive to adequately fill the role then mebbe you don't need to be volunteering for it. And by adequately filling the role I mean checking on the money once a year at least, I mean come on man, this is ridiculous. Who would leave these amounts of money laying around without accounting for it on a regular basis? All I can say is I sincerely hope you guys get the money back, but I'm not very optimistic that you will.

Anonymous said...

What does it take to dissolve a HOA?

Anonymous said...

@6:42 PM - (@5:38 PM here) thank you. That policy is ripe for a serious law suit.

Anonymous said...

As a Board member on another HOA who was not bilked by the Lanes, I am apt to believe the Board rebuttal over the harpy diatribe. The Board is right when it says year after year maybe one or two people show up to the annual meeting. And generally, no one ever steps up to fill open board slots or offer to take on more active roles on the Board, like President.

These people are homeowners and volunteers, who like the neighbors, have kids, jobs and honey-do lists. Yet, they are willing to take on some extra duties so everyone has a nicer neighborhood, field neighbor complaints, and make sure everyone is pretty much following the HOA covenants - with next to NO 'thank you's' from the rest of the neighborhood.

So, when harpy-Karen decides it is their lonely life duty to drag these neighbors through the mud it is much more a reflection of the sad lives of those who ignored their neighborhood HOA until a real problem arose. These neighborhoods are too large to not hire a management company that can also deal with all the legal crap that comes along with the piss-poor neighbors who won't pay their dues, keep their yard up, and ignore covenants.

The Lanes played a pretty good shell game with many HOA's. Thank god their house of cards finally fell down. I hate it that a lot of dues and reserves were lost and it will set back these neighborhoods for several years, but worse things could happen in life. Maybe these harpies could take the old adage of 'lend a hand to a neighbor in need' and take on some of the duties the HOA paid for, like yard maintenance for the common areas, Christmas lights, legal work for delinquent payments, etc. If a bunch of them have time to drat Ted Krasinski emails then they have time to help out in more meaningful ways.

Anonymous said...

Many serve on volunteer boards & understand fiduciary duty. Just because you’re not paid does not mean you have no responsibility when you agree to manage other people's money ESPECIALLY when you refuse to allow anyone to help you when they try to like the Palisades board did. They’ve been non-responsive to residents for years. Emails & calls from residents go unanswered. There are multiple complaints of predatory fining practices. They're on the 4th set of covenants which they edit under their own authority with no input of the neighborhood since they’ve allowed full power to sit with themselves over the years. There is no representation of the individual at all per the governing documents. This board has allowed themselves the authority to fine anyone for anything they want at any amount they want with no published fine or infraction schedule. The board sat behind David Lane in 3/2019 & allowed him to dictate the meeting. They LET Lane shut down all questions about finances including whether bank statements or external audits were done. This was total neglect. The board VP spent approx. 10 minutes shaming everyone in the room about how they dared to run for the board or think they could do a better job. It was unbelievable and nearly comical but for the disrespect that was shown to so many. FOUR families ran for the board that night & it was all discussed beforehand with Ridgway Lane. RL & the board did not allow these families' names on the ballot but said the only way they could get votes was as a write in at the meeting. There is no rule anywhere to that effect. (I suspect Lane wanted the old board there for a reason and it wasn't vigilance.) The Board Prez had multiple proxies in hand with his name prefilled as the proxy holder. These were mailed with the agenda & largely given by people as a generic place holder for a meeting they couldn’t attend. He could have voted for at least 1 of these board "outsiders" or "you people" as he refers to the majority of Palisades. He chose to vote himself & his board back into place with those proxies. He allowed no other neighbor who had expressed an interest in serving to actually do so or even to have their name fairly placed on the ballot. Basically, a board in place for years on end just could not fathom that people actually were not pleased with what they were doing & wanted change. When a board member died in office in 2019, the spot remained vacant and does to this day. If a board was forward thinking & wanting to involve others and their ideas as most healthy boards do, this was a time to reach out to one of those individuals & teach the intricacies of what it means to be on an HOA Board... If it’s so complicated that these same people needed to keep doing it and everyone in the room needed to feel shame for not appreciating them, then why not try to teach others this complex work? RL was but a catalyst for longstanding issues. Absolutely, neglecting the finances & outsourcing it all without looking back was a big part of the Palisades issues, but moreover it's about a small group of people (most living on a single street) not realizing that most of the people around them did not like the way they were being treated. Before the proxies with 7 new names were circulated for signature, many families assessed how the majority of the neighborhood felt. Tho the board never used more than 97 as their own quorum standard, there are 206 lots & the toughest standard to beat was 103 to prove the majority mandate. This was easily surpassed within days. It's unfortunate that a campaign had to be waged to show the board the obvious. Palisades is full of kind and talented people who simply want to stop being mistreated. The board wouldn’t listen to reason. Perhaps the lack of awareness during the RL embezzlement would’ve gone differently had they been kind to people along the way. The emperor has no clothes and hasn't had in awhile.

Anonymous said...

@8:16 you obviously don’t live in Palisades. These “harpies” have wanted to be involved long before Ridgway Lane and have tried. Until you walk in our shoes, take the self righteous stuff somewhere else. There are real problems here, and no, we don’t owe them board thanks for losing our money and holding all authority hostage. PS all the “harpies” are doing is following their bylaws and replacing their board as all organizations should be able to do. Certainly nothing scandalous. Volunteer does not equate not responsible. The non-profit I head just finished a review by the Secretary of State. We passed! It was rigorous and nowhere on the form did I get to write in “but I don’t get paid!” Give me a break. Real money. Real duty and responsibility. Volunteer or not. Whatever happened to people stepping up and owning something?

Anonymous said...

I get it. You are upset and rightfully so. But, most if not all HOA's suffer from the same apathetic support from the neighbors. If your grievances were so egregious prior to knowing the Lane's bent y'all over, then you would have been able to scare up enough votes and attendance to make changes early. Oh the humanity that this big bad board held all of you under their thumb. WHere was your pro bono attorney when you felt they were overreaching?

I know, you are one of the ones who would have caught the Lane's before the damage was done. If we could catch embezzlers and Ponzi scheme artist when it begins, then there wouldn't be 11 to 13 HOA's who were dupped. There's a reason these people can get away with these things for so long. But, you Pallisades, with a different board, would have saved them all? SO, are you saying all the other HOA Boards are overreaching idiots as well?

And let's get one thing straight, there are many more HOA's than yours and the other Lane managed HOA's that have great management companies and great neighbors running those boards. And yes, those HOA Board members rarely get a thank you from the other neighbors. Just like your nonprofit. IF you are doing good work that I am interested in, I'm not thanking the Board. I'm thanking the worker who is in the trenches with the people your nonprofit serves. I never served on a nonprofit board for the accolades. I serve because I care about the mission.

BTW: the Secretary of State wouldn't review a nonprofit unless it received a complaint or was just starting. Many a string of bad audits or findings by the funders? In general, your only oversight is an A133 Audit if you qualify to have one. I've served on nonprofit boards for almost 15 years, and not one was ever reviewed by the SOS. Glad you passed. Any chance you would share the nonprofit so we can decide whether we want to support it?

Anonymous said...

@8:16 I think you’re “apt” to commenting about a neighborhood that you know nothing about just to hear yourself speak! Harpies? Good grief. It’s that “I’m on the Board of the neighborhood HOA” imaginary entitlement that is another problem we’re dealing with! How anyone can read that elementary yellow highlighted rebuttal letter and agree or believe half of it is beyond me. There are PLENTY of well-educated, kind people in Palisades that are more than willing to step up and volunteer. They also aren’t volunteering in search of thanks but to actually better our neighborhood. I’m not sure what neighborhood you’re from but we don’t really have problems with folks mowing the grass around here and certainly none that are piss-poor!

Anonymous said...

@8:16
Trying to follow your logic. You claim that in your HOA (and all others, apparently) no one will step up to serve on the board. Yet, when over half of the neighborhood takes action to ensure that new leadership is put in place according to the only means available to them, a majority vote, it is to be considered a “harpy diatribe”.

You claim that the neighbors of Palisades should have acted sooner, completely ignoring the fact that they are acting NOW. When is the right time to get involved?

I am apt to believe that no one will step up to serve on your board because there is no room at the conference table between you and the giant chip on your shoulder. If you step down, somebody WILL fill your shoes whether you want to believe it or not.

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of whiners! Good grief! If the “majority” of the neighborhood wanted change, there would be change. Boo-effing-hoo to these bratty asshats that are stomping all around Palisades. This is laughable to the rest of us peeking into to your miserable little lives....

Anonymous said...

Need a whole new board. The current board should pay a nice percentage of whatever money is reclaimed to the board accountant in Bridgewater. The rebuttal the current HOA board sent was snarky to say the least.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the residents of all of the HOAs that were duped by RL should consider suing their Boards of Directors if there is truly evidence that they should have had better controls in place and/or turned a blind eye to RL's misconduct. Any HOA that has received decent advise from an attorney or otherwise will have an insurance policy covering liability for the Board of Directors. It would at least be worth looking into.

Anonymous said...

LOL @ 1:54 claiming they’re bratty whiners! Great comment with real depth. I guess your life is so great that you’re having to comment on theirs at 1:54 am. They are making change . Go back to your cocktail Karen

Anonymous said...

@1:54 Stay tuned... all your whiny, bratty a**hat stomping neighbors with miserable lives (and all of the other horrible names you or someone you know well) have emailed your neighbors and called us for the past few weeks will see you in January. Your attitude is exactly why our volunteers have had to actually physically produce signatures and PROVE the obvious. Before a campaign was launched, the board had no intention of resigning. It’s not like anyone wanted things to be as difficult as the board has made them. Keep the insults coming. We crack up every time you harass us. It’s almost as if you are on the board currently (hmmmm) or that you (or someone you know) had already been meeting with the board and had expected to be appointed to fill the vacant spot. Are we close? :) Your anger certainly stems from somewhere! Yes, “Karen”, though it may be hard to believe.... the majority of Palisades desires change and will effect this on January 16. And you can laugh and laugh and laugh! Maniacally.... The rest of us? Who’s that you are representing since we are Palisades... Careful now... your true colors are showing.

Anonymous said...

1:54 here — you give me entirely too much credit. But it certainly didn’t take much to trigger you into yet another insider-job conspiracy response. I don’t live in Palisades. I’ve simply been monitoring it the same way many of the rest of us on here have. And “FOOD FIGHT” is the perfect headline for this playground brawl.

If the board needs to be replaced then do it. January 16 is mere days away. It’s the assertions you’ve made that are laughable, however—not the fact that you want to put fresh blood in office. The letter originally posted on this thread was absurd. The complaints were absolutely ridiculous. Not allowing unwed residents? No one has that authority.

Take all that energy you’ve clearly poured into running a smear campaign and step into the ring. And when the election is complete, live with the results, regardless of what they are. But this undignified, bratty, foot stomping diminishes your credibility to the point that I seriously question anyone who would actually want you running anything.

Anonymous said...

If anyone wants they can go to the Pallisades website and see the financial statements for years past, covenants, etc. I'd love for some accountant type to go through them and show us where they should have caught on that Lane was siphoning the reserves or playing shell games between HOAs?

We like to think these volunteer HOA boards should have known sooner. It may be a good KF article to show the rest of us how to find discrepancies like this by looking at all the HOA financials. And if you have proof that the HOA was working in conjunction with the Lane's then put up or shut up. Until then, realize this was the work of some sick individuals who are thankfully now caught.

It took Trustmark years before their compliance officer saw that the Timber fund accounts were suspect and in that case, it is quite plausible that two Trustmark employees were in on it. How many stories has KF posted about fraud over the years? Bigger and smarter people have been screwed out of money through embezzlement and fraud. But, it wouldn't have been you Pallisade wanna-be HOA Board members. Puhleeze.

If you want change, then do it. But, stop acting like you couldn't have done it sooner. You know why you didn't vote a new board sooner? Because the yellow highlighted responses are pretty accurate when it comes to general HOA operations. Most neighbors don't care enough to go to meetings, take the time to sign proper proxies or to put themselves up for election. We have soccer games, dance recitals, groceries, parties, and yard work to do much less worry about whether the common area lights work and the pool is clean. Consider this an expensive lesson to homeowners. When you buy a house in an HOA controlled neighborhood, maybe you should take the time to put toward the neighborhood and how it is managed.

Anonymous said...

5:15 PM, I took your challenge. The website contains the following monthly financial statement packages, all prepared by RL:
2010 - January through August
2011 - none, zero, nada, goose egg
2012 - January, March
2013 - same as 2011
2014 - January, June, August, September
2015 - April, May, June, July
2016 - April, December
2017 - January through June
2018 - January through December
2019 - same as 2011 and 2013

Did the HOA receive, but not publish the missing financials? I don’t know.
Did RL not provide the missing financials? Same answer, IDK.
If the latter, it’s my belief the board wasn’t asleep. It was in a coma.

I am one of those accountant types, and I don’t have a dog in this hunt. An earlier comment suggested annual audits by outside CPA firms. That could be a deterrent, but demanding to be provided with the property manager’s monthly bank account reconciliations as well as supporting documents (the HOA’s bank statements) will nip a lot of this in the bud. In the future.

Anonymous said...

Ain’t no Kinda lesson like a bought lesson.

Anonymous said...

@1:54 Thanks for pointing out January 16 is days away and for Palisades to replace the board if needed. Why didn’t we just think of the idea to just snap our fingers and make it happen? You have no idea what you are talking about. We’ll see you at the meeting. We clearly know you reside in Palisades but nice try.

@5:15 First paragraph, already done and the CPA who headed the financial review is on the majority slate for the Palisades NEW board. This current board absolutely could NOT have been replaced before now. Multiple people have tried under usual terms already. I for one am thankful for the team of neighbors who have organized our neighborhood to move forward. It takes a special kind of arrogance to try to teach everyone a lesson from your recliner across town. People can give excuses all day long for fiduciary breach. They all come up short. No time? Don’t volunteer to watch over and spend others’ money and for heaven’s sakes don’t go around preying on people unnecessarily and FINING them. See you on the soccer fields. I’m not on this board but I know how to multitask. Going to the grocery and going to my child’s soccer game doesn’t excuse me not realizing I did not notice that $89,000 was stolen from under my nose when all I had to do was ask for a bank statement. All hail Cindy Dunbar. Excited to see what happens at their special meeting next week at Bridgewater.

Anonymous said...

Someone mentioned a 40 home HOA in Ridgeland. Two questions, why does a 40 home neighborhood need and HOA and why in the world would they need a Management Company?

Karen Here! said...

Bugger off. I know what is best for my HOA. I will show you what's what at the next meeting.

Anonymous said...

Going to the Flowood Chick-fil-a isn't grocery shopping. The one thing I haven't seen is any of you refuting the HOA Board highlighted responses. Show the proof to back up the allegations. When a reasonable person reads the email rant versus the HOA responses, the HOA responses make much more sense. Face it, you just want to be mad at someone. Maybe the same types of 'calls to arm' are happening at the other HOA's? If they are, they are doing a better job keeping it out of the hands of KF where the rest of us can eat our popcorn and watch the meltdown. I say this even as I truly pray you will get the relief and recovered funds each of you are due. But, the reasonable person isn't going to let you pee on their leg and tell them it's raining.

Anonymous said...

@5:49 just because you are able to state a stupid comment here, it doesn’t mean you need to. SMH what in the name of all craziness is your statement even about? That was a minute we’ll never get back. We’re praying for you,too. Nobody’s mad around Palisades but the board member that doesn’t want to be ousted. They probably put that nutty rebuttal letter out for everyone to see just to cause another stir. No one is arguing the answers because it’s a joke. Save your popcorn, SPOILER ALERT !! there will definitely be a new board and this too shall pass.
@12:41 who even says bugger off? Can’t wait to see what you show at the next meeting for OUR hoa! I think the dramatics you are looking for won’t be there.

Orville Redenbacher said...

How come they can't file a claim on their fidelity bond as noted in the covenants?

@9:06 pm, 5:49 pm made perfect sense. Excuse me while I get my popcorn out of the microwave.

Anonymous said...

5:49 ... I understood your point perfectly.

Signed,
1:54


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Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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