Thursday, April 12, 2012

More mixed-use for Belhaven: Prisoners.

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10 comments:

Anonymous said...

With all the fear about vacancy rates downtown -- and now that Jackson has revealed it cares more about having warm bodies with dollars in their pockets down there rather than increasing the number of taxable properties -- City of Faith should consider locations inside the BID. Supply exceeds demand which means they probably can get square footage on the cheap. It will also help tremendously to improve diversity.

Hmmmm said...

That's not belhaven it is by the vault factory and behind cowboy maloneys off high skreet.

Anonymous said...

No thank you.

Belhaven resident said...

Thank you KF for bringing this forth. While Hmmmm thinks that is not part of what is known as "Belhaven Heights" it most certainly is considered so when any other issue comes up about the area.

The amazing thing to this Belhaven Resident is that there has been NO MENTION of this in the Greater Belhaven (Belhaven plus Belhaven Heights, for those of you that don't live in the neighborhood) Newsletter.

The newsletter is sent out via email on a regular basis, and generally attempts to keep the residents aware of any activity going on in the neighborhood. But I just received a copy of the newsletter a few minutes ago, a good hour after this posting by KF, and there was no mention of this issue or the public hearing. There was, ironically, notice of a meeting of the Security Association Association for this coming Sunday. Just wondering if they are having to make special arrangements to cover for these potential future neighbors.

Anonymous said...

Harvey is horse trading for Fortification. Nobody wants to talk about the back room concessions.

Anderson said...

"Just don't sentence me to live in Fondren, Judge!"

Anonymous said...

Since the state had the good sense to not purchase the soon to be empty Landmark Bldg downtown, the CBD sounds like a perfect place for these new Jacksonians to move.

Ben - his boss Leland, and all those that think it is the job of government to keep rental rates profitable, along with the "let's all move downtown where the action is" group should love to increase the population base. Just think - they can support all kinds of new development along Capitol Street all while reducing the glut of rental space. Isn't that the goal?

Anonymous said...

Jackson will have a new market for additional food trucks.

Also, more customers will soon be available to take advantage of 99% off the lowest ticketed price at that
jewelry store (still suffering from a 2005 thunderstorm).

Anonymous said...

810 pm. I quit listening to the radio on the inbound drive, just becuz of that single lying azzhull. He has more tribulations than Job.

Razor

Shadowfax said...

The store in Vicksburg (Pemberton Mall for those of you with no radio) is also participating. And you're encouraged to shop both stores since the stock is different (An unmarked panel truck comes in every day from New Orleans with new stuff). For those of you keeping track, this is our fifth roof job in three years due to flooding, bullets pouring out of the skies and fireworks shot off from the fairgrounds. Remember, you heard it first from Edward St Pe: Half-off the earlier lowest ticketed sale price of ten dollars over cost with free wrapping and a guard walks you to your ride.


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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