A friend of mine's father wrote this letter to the Baptist Record in 1985. Since the Clarion-Ledger is pushing a lottery once again, I thought this letter was worth reading. Enjoy.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Is it time for a lottery?
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
23 comments:
Wasn't this long before casino gambling was legalized in Mississippi? Wonder what this writer would think about if he walked through a Vicksburg casino?
Sure it is. I think casino gambling should be legal as it is now, don't think video poker should be allowed as it was for years in Louisiana: in every convenience store and bust stop. System we have here works pretty good. Stick it in a few areas, make money off of it, but its not on every street corner either.
Having recently moved to Vicksburg from Maryland, I find NOT having the lottery to be unusual (you could buy Virginia lottery tickets in the Pentagon!!!)
...and the law about confiscating lottery winnings is as about as stupid as anything I've ever seen...
Although the fights in the Maryland House of Delegates over installing slot machines at racetracks is as entertaining as any antics found in their Mississippi counterparts....
Whatever your position on having a lottery please don't believe or buy-in for one nanosecond that a lottery will benefit education.
Because that is complete garbage.
The lottery-for-education experiment has already been a bonafide and thoroughly documented disaster in nearly every state where voters drank that progressive kook-aid.
The Clarion-Ledger plumbs new depths. The state has done it right by having casinos in tourist areas (Greenville being the sad exception)and discouraging slot parlors. Most patrons still come from out of state, so we're not just recycling local dollars. Lotteries are like giant squids sucking blood from the poor. I'm with Hob: why is this coming up again, and with the criminal emphasis on the one big winner out of thousands and thousands of losers? Pettus is amoral, as is anyone who would allow such a cynical article to appear at all in any publication.
If we are going to push for an Arizona style immigration law, I think it's only fair to push
for a Nevada style entertainment law.
For example: lets explore the economic development potential of a " Bunny Ranch " in Pelahatchie, Como ,
& Hurley.
I disagree with a state lottery. A lottery is really a tax on the stupid.
Why not, instead, incentivize savings? Introduce "prize linked savings" (PLS) programs. Allow financial institutions to allow for a lottery of sorts based upon the citizens' savings. It was introduced in South Africa with great success and Michigan has allowed it as well. It gives people an incentive to save and in so doing allows them to gain a lottery style of winnings.
Once a lottery is introduced, you will never get a PLS as the state will prohibit it.
Burke, Pettus is "amoral" for suggesting that Mississippi be dragged out of the cave kicking and screaming and join the rest of the nation by having a lottery? Are 43 other states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands also amoral because they have lotteries?
While your concern for the poor is awfully sweet, it is also paternalistic and downright un-American. If a poor person wants to spend his money on a lottery ticket, it is none of your damn business. Despite popular belief in this State, you are not your brothers keeper.
If you really want to protect the poor from scams where they give up money, yet have no chance whatsoever of receiving anything in return, then ban churches from passing the plate during worship services.
To the first anonymous poster; It would have made him sad to walk through a Vicksburg casino as he hoped thatMississipians would never allow that in our great state.
Can't imagine the logic in suggesting one form of 'gaming' should be allowed but not others. It's hard to imagine that our 'founders' (the Miss. Legislature of 20 odd years ago) really intended gargantuan casinos to overtake the coast or the river towns when they approved 'Riverboat Gaming'. I had envisione paddlewheelers with caliopes and gentlemen in bowties dining on ribeyes and maybe playing a little poker. Stupid me.
Casinos popularized pawn shops in many towns and ruined Vicksburg, running a number of fine restaurants out of business and turning the quaint town into a dead-see of odd car tags.
Neither can I get a grip on those who suggest 'those most unable to afford it will be spending their money on a lottery' if Mississippi has one. Hell, look at the dregs sitting on slot machine stools, staring blankly at the turning wheels, hacking and smoking and reeking of poverty and a six hour stank.
We legalized liquor and 'those least able to afford it' are frequenting 'package stores' and leaving with brown sacks. We popularized drive thru chicken and nail salons and 'those least able to afford it' are ringing those cash registers day and night.
Give the people what they want and 'set them free' and quit with the damned judgement.
I wonder if the media will ever do the stories on the down and out after the lottery hits big-probably not-only those who hit it big. I group lotteries, horse/dog tracks, casino gambling all into one category called legalized gambling. I say that those who vote for it are well within their right. I also say that those who vote for it should be tracked by their social security number so when they taxes are continually raised to take care of the poor and ignorant souls who lost their last dime gambling those who voted for gambling can cover the tax increase. Before anyone rejects this idea, do you remember what the bought and paid for legislators told us about casino gambling? Go do your research. They told us that it would solve all of our education funding problems. Where are you CL, WLBT and other media? Did you forget that lie? I am reminded every year when the fools we elected debate fully funding our education needs.
Mr. Don Berry's letter of 1985 is describing the legal casinos in NOT the lottery. The casinos in Mississippi are the "heartless out of staters" that have come to Mississippi to pray on the poor with all of the hype of "FREE FOOD, FREE WHISKEY, PRETTY LADIES SERVING THEM, FREE AUTOMOBILES GIVEN AWAY, FREE MONEY TO GAMBLE WITH WHEN YOU SIGN UP WITH THEM, PICTURES OF WINNERS HOLDING THEIR CHECKS, FREE ROOMS TO BE CAPTURED IN THEIR HOTELS, and on and on. They do everything under the sun to entice the poor to come into their beautiful sir conditioned Disney World for adults to keep them in the HOUSE until they have taken ALL of their money. NOW on the other hand will be the lottery. A rich or poor person will spent one dollar to purchase a ticket (with Mississippi receiving 25 cents)and THERE IS NO PRESSURE FROM THE GAS STATION TO ENTICE YOU TO BUY MORE TICKETS. The gas station wants you to buy gas and groceries (this is where they make the most money, not from a one dollar lottery ticket).
I just can't let go the fact that 7:28 pm suggests that we consider savings programs initiated in Michigan and South Africa as models for our state.
Who do we send on exploratory missions to study these systems? How do we confiscate from a working Paul what it takes to fund a non-working Peter's savings account? What will Peter do with that $300 in savings he's accumulated after 20 years?
How does Paul keep Peter from tapping the fund to buy wine? How do we keep Paul from crossing the bridge to Delta, Louisiana? Does the state then mandate Christian counseling to convince Peter to kick in an extra dollar per week to his South African savings program?
How do we make sure SNAP cards are not being traded for lottery tickets? Please rethink that crazy suggestion. South Africa indeed.
I'm standing with CURT CROWLEY since I've seen and heard everything he says for six generations. Love the kicking and screaming coming out of the cave and if anyone still needs to see the cave come by my County up in the Hills where there is a church on every corner with pills that can only be washed down with water, everything alcoholic can only be bought and drank at the Country Club if one has the cash for membership.
Would be a voluntary tax. However, the cost would fall mostly upon the ignorant and lower economic class who who are already struggling, but who continue to grasp at straws.
A lottery is a voluntary tax. The groups that are spending money trying to stop it should spend that money convincing people who can't afford it not to play.
@7.34 pm
"then ban churches from passing the plate during worship services." Its called tithing. And its voluntary. If you don't like it, don't do it.
Hey, Curt! What did you do after Hurricane Katrina? Did you serve 2.5 million meals to hurricane victims, free of charge? Baptists did.
12:04, you are correct. Tithing is voluntary, as people can choose to either do it or not do it.
Just like the lottery.
Thanks for proving my point.
William Perkins, Who said anything about Baptists?
In response to your question, what I was doing immediately after Katrina was listening to your boy Fraudwell say the hurricane was God's punishment for not following the gospel according to Fraudwell (and getting amen'd all the way by your other SkyDaddy ambassador Howling Mad Robertson).
Where is the speaker of the house and the gaming chair on the lotto issue. The chair is from the coast don't know where he stands...I would guess the speaker is aganist?
Hey Curt! You answered my question. Thanks.
So...why aren't preachers preaching against usury amd thus opposed to pay day loan companies and every other business that exists to prey on the poor? Usury is specifically addressed in the Bible.
Why don't Christians object to preachers who prey on the sick and the poor and bereft by making promises of cures and miracles in exchange for faith and money?
At least, with the lottery the odds of a " winning" aren't buried in fine print or non-existent.
Individual freedom includes the freedom to make mistakes and to be stupid.
Freedom allows the individual to decide how to spend money. If they want to spend it on hope, then let them.
I like that a lottery is at least honest about one's chances of having that hope realized.
And, I'm really , really sick of the " puffed up" who ignore those words in the Bible and all the other verses on humility and minding one's own sins rather than sitting in judgment on others.
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